Exceptionally Ordinary
by The Knife In Your Side
Summary: Everybody grows up with the knowledge that life will shape them, mould them. Experience will carve wrinkles in their faces and sadness with gleam in their eyes. Stress will age them beyond their years and love will make them glow, but I didn't have this. There was no constant. When I'm eighty and I wake in the morning, I will not see what the world gave me but what I made myself.
1. Chapter 1: Greetings Padfoot

**Okay, before I start, let me say that I KNOW the Marauders only become Animagi in their later Hogwarts years, but I'm ignoring that fact for the sake of my story. The site is called ****_Fan_****Fiction for a reason.**

**Also, I've chosen a quote for each chapter that I believe matches it on some level (although this may not be an obvious connection).**

* * *

_"There are no such things as strangers, only friends that haven't met yet."_

* * *

_Chapter One:_

My family and I lived half-way down an ordinary street in what seemed like an ordinary neighbourhood. Of course there were exceptions – there are always exceptions – to this overall perception, but there were none that couldn't be ignored and swept under the rug.

I was the youngest of four sisters, in a seemingly ordinary family – and they were defiantly ordinary, as ordinary as they came in fact, but the exception was me. Unlike the rest of my family, I've always been… odd. Different. Out of place. As if where I was, wasn't where I was meant to be.

I didn't mean it, it wasn't an intentional, but weird things just seemed to _happen_ around me. Not many noticed it, but my family saw it – I knew they did – but still they kept acting as if it were nothing, as if I was just as ordinary as any other child. Still, we all knew the unspoken truth that there was something…_ off_… about me, but as long as nobody said anything, it was fine.

It was ordinary.

And of course it was easy, so very easy, to ignore these things. They were only little things you see, you know the kind of cowardice where you see something that doesn't add up, doesn't make sense… and you forget it. Almost on purpose, really, and then you don't look at it. You don't fully understand why, but you never do, because when you do… you get a sort of sick feeling in your stomach. A heavy feeling. Because you don't understand, you can't understand and you truly deep down don't want to.

My shoes were like that. My beloved converse born of the vintage 50's era with their blue strawberry print and faded lavender colour, long laces that I never tied up and constantly tripped over. My miracle shoes. You see from the moment I found them in that little London market, they always fit. It was almost like they grew up with me… no matter how big my feet, my converse always fit. They were worn and comfortable and had walked the world with since early childhood and beyond. They'd lived my life with me and I believe if they could talk, would have quite strange stories to tell...

And it was exactly little things like my shoes that made people feel uncomfortable, feel edgy, feel _unsafe_ around me - around a little girl.

An exceptionally ordinary little girl, that being.

When I a child my parents took my sisters and I to the park (they thought we needed 'family time'), but my elder siblings immediately ran off to hang around with their older friends that I _strictly_ wasn't allowed to talk to – my sisters made that _crystal_ clear – because even though my family pretended I was normal, it didn't mean my sisters liked me anymore.

As if I would want to talk to them anyways.

The eldest, Sarah, who was at the time finishing the last year in school and wasn't much of a bother since she was so deeply emerged in her studies (yet I couldn't comprehend why, since she's practically a genius, especially when it comes to music), but it was the twins – Hayley and Miranda – who irked me the most, both fifteen and under they delusional impression that they were drop dead gorgeous, with friends who turned their noses up as my particular way of dressing, which consisted of long stripy socks of an array of mismatching colours, converse with a strawberry pattern, tie-dyed t-shirts and ripped jean overalls with giant pockets. I love pockets, as well as unnecessarily long stripy scarves (what can I say, I'm a Dr Who fan) and beanies, because beanies are cool.

So instead of bugging my sisters, I went off to explore. I've always loved running, at school I could beat almost anybody in a foot race, but I always ran bare foot, which many found weird, yet it was as natural as breathing to me. That said, I still found climbing to be better, being a scrawny and gangly child, I was light and able to weave my way through the branches to reach the top, and from their I could look over the entire town and the town houses, one of which was mine.

Down below I heard snapping twigs, and being an ever so curious child, I decided to investigate.

When I jumped down from the last branch – landing heavily with a thud – I spied a dog. It was shabby, with black fur that stuck out at odd angles and stormy grey eyes that seemed to portray an eerie intelligence. It didn't have a collar, so I presumed it to be a stray.

"Hello," I said, ruffling the fur behind it's ears, "I'm Riley O'Conner, ain't you good boy,"

See, most small seven year olds wouldn't ever dream of approaching the stray, let alone pet it and introduce themselves as if it could actually understand you. I was indeed a strange kid.

I cocked its head to the side, probably wondering who the hell I was.

"What's your name?" I asked it and the black dog snorted in what I could only pass for amusement, "Fine then, I'll name you… Padfoot,"

Another snort, this time the canine licked my face. I didn't mind, unlike most girls would, I enjoy playing in the mud and getting dirty. At recess and lunchtime at school I would play rugby with all the boys while the girls ran around pretending to be fairies and princess. I was always the pirate or the ninja – sometimes even the pirate-ninja if the need be.

I spent hours with Padfoot after that, at first I tried to play fetch, but the animal gave me an odd look which I suspected meant something along the lines of 'you actually want me to get that? You threw it, go get it yourself, you lazy ass', which was fine with me. Mainly we sat under the tree where we met, his head on my lap. I would just talk and he would listen; the topic was never anything in particular, just random things that popped into my mind at the time.

And believe me – I am quite random.

Other times, we would race, sprinting through the small park – my shoes flung over my shoulder with my socks stuffed inside and his tongue comically hanging outside his mouth.

This continued until sundown when I heard my parents calling me.

"See ya' later, Padfoot," I smiled at my new friend. I knew I'd see him again, I could just tell, and so with that thought in my mind, I walked away towards the direction of the voices.

"Where were you?" Snapped Miranda, "I wanted to leave _ages_ ago," she huffed.

I shrugged, "Hanging out with my new friend,"

They laughed and Hayley said, "What? _Another_ imaginary friend?"

My face went red, "No! He's _real_, his name is Padfoot and he has black fur, a wagging tail and grey eyes,"

They laughed even harder now, "Oh, now it makes sense, it's an _animal_ – I knew you could never make a _real_ friend,"

"He is so a real friend!" I scrunched up my nose in stubborn frustration.

"You keep telling yourself that," Miranda snorted.

Then our parents came stunting up, "There you are, Riley, we were getting worried," My father said robotically, because he knew it's what any other ordinary dad would say to his ordinary child. Too bad I'm not.

"Let's go, it's getting late," My mother urged.

And I left the park, completely unaware of the pale boy with shaggy black hair and stormy grey eyes watching from behind the tree.

From then on, almost every day after school on my way home I'd stop by the park to visit Padfoot. He knew everything about me, from my favourite rock bands to where I want to travel when I'm older (pretty much everywhere, but I had a list of priorities).

There wasn't a secret I didn't spill to the animal.

* * *

It was New Year's and so, my usually ordinary neighbourhood was in the midst of its annual Street Party, organised by the ever-so-cheerful Mr and Mrs Ramos, who invited everybody in our street for food and a show of illigal fireworks.

Everybody came, all exept one family.

The Black's, who lived directly opposite us in the town house they ineptly dubbed 'Grimmauld Place'. Not much was known about the odd family; their children were home-schooled and kept under strict surveillance until they turned eleven, and then they were sent to some mysterious boarding school in the country. The parents weren't all that pleasant either, constantly looking down their noses toward us 'normal folk' as I'd overheard them refer to the rest of the street as once.

But clearly I remember, the night of the party when the street was lit up and the kids ran around playing games, teenagers hung around the food tables gossiping and adults mingled with their neighbours of whom they rarely spoke to, I saw the pale boy sitting alone, observing all who passed by with a inquisitive curiosity.

I didn't particularly want to be there myself, although my parents _wanted _me to mingle with the other kids on my street, I didn't feel like being mocked and picked on that night, so bravely, I walked up the quiet boy. I'm not sure why I did it exactly, but it seemed I couldn't shake the feeling that I _knew_ him somehow.

"Hello," I outstretched my hand, "I'm Riley O'Connor, nice to meet you,"

He looked at me with a slight smile, but looked almost startled by my hand as I waited for him to shake it, "I know, you live across the road from me,"

Realising he wasn't going to shake my hand, I pulled it back, "You live in Grimmauld Place?"

He laughed grimly, "Yeah, sucks," he eyed me almost fondly, "I'm Sirius,"

"You're serious? Serious about what? That your house 'sucks'?" I inquired.

He shook his head and chuckled under his breath, "No, my name is Sirius, as in Sirius Black,"

I pondered this for a while, "Weird name,"

He shrugged, "I'm a weird guy, what of it?"

I smiled, "Nothin's wrong with anything, weird is good. It'd be boring to be normal, always doin' the same things, thinking the same things in the same way,"

Just then a women wearing a black dress, who bore the resemblance of a vulture, stormed up towards us, "Sirius, just what do you think you're doing! Conversing with muggles, ugh!"

_Muggles?_

"Right, because it's such a crime to _talk to people_," He glared at who I suspected was his mother.

"Why can't you be more like you brother, Regulas, he doesn't act so _rash_!" She screeched.

Siruis sorted, "Yeah, he doesn't _smile_ either – must have inherited that trait from you, _mum_," The acid in his voice could eat away at led and suddenly I felt very uncomfortable, yet still intrigued by the conversation.

Her voice went cold, "Get. In. The. House. Now."

"No, I want a life outside of that prison! You don't even let me do to _school_!" he challenged.

"That is it! You shall dust every single one of your ancestors busks until they shine like sun, and as for_ school_, you'll be starting soon enough,"

"Dusting? Isn't that Kretcher's job?"

"_NOW!"_

He sighed, then with a dipped head and with damaged pride, stood to follow his mother, "Bye, Riley,"

"Later," I spoke awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

Then Sarah walked up, looking slightly drunk, "Sup Squirt, who was he?"

"Sirius... Sirius Black..." I whispered.

* * *

**Also, it's in Chapter 14 that they skip to 6th year.**


	2. Chapter 2: The Letter

_One of these days letters are gonna fall,_

_From the sky telling us all to go free,_

_But until that day I'll find a way,_

_To let everybody know that you're coming back,_

_You're coming back for me._

_–Civil Twilight 'Letters From the Sky'_

* * *

_Chapter Two:_

On my eleventh birthday – merely months after the incident with the Blacks – my letter came, dropped off at our doorstep by an owl of course.

My father stood in the kitchen flipping through the mail, which was an ordinary mix of bills and junk until he saw the letter addressed to me, written in fine script on a parchment envelope sealed by a purple stamp with a 'H' written in calligraphy.

"Riley… there's a letter for you," He spoke nonchalant and handed it to me, but it was snatched away by Miranda who scrutinised it carefully.

"What's this?" She asked suspiciously in her usual whiney voice.

"It's mine, give it back!" I growled, reaching for it.

"Give it back, honey," My mother chimed in, not looking away from the morning paper as she sipped her coffe at the breakfast table.

"Fine, whatever, probably worthless anyway…" She chucked it on the table carelessly.

I picked it up and broke the seal, feeling special that somebody had taken the time to write a letter to me.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY_

_Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Miss O'Conner,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September first. We await your owl by no later than July the thirty-first._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall,_

_Deputy Headmistress._

I read it over and over again; convinced it was some kind of joke that the twins were playing on me, but then again... they never really put much thought into their practical jokes (which is why I never fell for them) and I doubt that the two could rub together enough brain cells to come up with something like this. My parents wouldn't do it, obviously, and Sarah's at University in New York currently for a degree in the arts, so she wouldn't have the time or the motivation to prank me. Anyways, Sarah's always been to stern and logical (which is partly why sometimes I wonder why she's studying for an arts degree). There were my friends from the Street Art tunnels, but non of them knew my real name, let alone my address, and after them, there was nobody else...

Well, there's Padfoot, but he's a dog and dogs (as far as I know) can't write, let alone in calligraphy.

It truly puzzled me, so I pushed it into my overalls pocket and walked outside, because it was a Sunday and Sunday's are Padfoot day's.

I wandered through the park towards our tree, until I heard a snap of twigs behind me and realised Padfoot was following me and trying to be sneaky about it, "I know your there, Padfoot!" I laughed and turned around, but it wasn't Padfoot at all.

"Saw an owl outside you door this morning, he deliver anything special?"

It was… _Sirius?_ The boy from the New Year's party, how… how did he know I'd be here?

"How'd you know about that…" I questioned suspiciously, "Did you send it?"

He burst into laughter, "Why a 'course not, do I look like Professor McGonagall to you?"

I gave him a blank look.

Then he frowned, "You did get a letter this morning, didn't you? It is your birthday after all and you've been going on and on about it for weeks, which bring me to remember…" Sirius fumbled around in his pockets until he pulled something out, "Here,"

I didn't accept the parcel.

"What the hell is _wrong _with you! How'd you know it's my birthday, or how to find me and about the letter!"

He grinned, "So you _did_ get a letter! Well that's good; I'd feel like a complete _idiot_ if you were just a plain old muggle,"

I gave him a blank look again. It was all just too weird! I'd only ever spoken to him once! I hardly even knew him!

…And yet he seemed so familiar, unless…

"No! No you are _not _Padfoot!" I yell, jumping back.

"Finally figured it out, huh? Took you long enough, although I dropped, like, a _ton_ of hints,"

"It's not possible…" I started, feeling the inside of me break.

"What's not possible? That your favourite band is Oasis? That you have a hatred for cats? That you're allergic to pomegranates? That your favourite Doctor is Tom Baker, although I never understood why you would have a preference on medical examiners… It is impossible for me to know that you bought those vintage strawberry converse from the Market in York when you were five and they _magically_ have always seemed to fit you because you _love _them do much?"

I gaped at him, staring wide eyed. I'd told him everything – my deepest darkest secrets, things I keep locked away in my heart. I cried in front of Padfoot… Sirius… whatever his name is, after one of those days when the teasing never seemed to end, and here he was, as a _human_, standing before me.

But what really scared me, was that I knew _nothing _about him.

"How _dare_ you!" I poked him in the chest and the smile left his face, "Three freaking years! I thought you were a dog, not a human!"

"Well, technically I _am_ a dog… sometimes, but I'm not a Muggle…" He mumbled.

"Then please enlighten me if _what the hell you are_!" I screeched and he jumped.

"I'm a wizard, and the dog is my animagus, duh," Sirius rolled his eyes as if this information was so damn _obvious_.

"You're a wizard?"

"Yep,"

"You're insane,"

He snickered, "Well then you're insane also, because you're a _witch_," He smirked as my face drained of colour.

"Excuse me? I'm a _what_?"

He sighed, "Didn't you read the letter, you've been excepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Isn't this awesome!" The boy with shaggy black hair beamed at me.

I was lost for words, this boy is seriously mental! And I thought I was crazy…

"C'mon, you've gotta believe me! Do strange and unexplained things happen around you, weird stuff no one can explain?" His intense grey eyes pleaded with me to understand.

_Padfoot's eyes…_

I went quiet, looking down at my converse awkwardly as I fiddled with my fingers, things _did_ happen around me. Freaky things. Unnatural things. Impossible things, just as he said.

"Deep down… you know I'm right," He whispered, "Just take the gift, Riley,"

Hesitantly, I took the small parcel from his hand, "Thank you,"

He shrugged, "What are best friends for?"

_Best friends?_ Hardly. Best friends don't lie to each other for years on end.

"Okay, I'll believe it just… just, _prove_ to me you're Padfoot," I said, so hoping that it was all some kind of messed up joke or weird dream.

But I could no longer deny the reality of my situation, because right there in front of me, did my long-time neighbour morph into my long-time best friend.

And I knew that I could no longer hide it, so instead of bluntly denying the truth I'd always knew in the deep depths of my mind… I morphed into a fox.


	3. Chapter 3: Grimmauld Place

_"In the end it's really only your own approval or disapproval that means anything,"_

_–Agnetha Faltskog_

* * *

_Chapter Three:_

I smirked at him, satisfied with the shocked expression on his face.

_Good, something you didn't know._

"You've got an… an animagus?" He spewed out.

"Well, I didn't know it was called _that_, it's just something I've always been able to do. Never thought I'd be a wizard. Never _ever_," I sighed.

"… Right," he murmured, mulling this new found information in his head.

We settled into an awkward silence, until I spoke up, "… So, if I really _am_ a wizard – which I'm still find hard to believe – is there anything important I need to know?"

He grinned, happy that he knew something I didn't know, "Heaps, c'mon. My parents are at the Ministry today, so you should come over,"

_The Ministry?_ I decided not to ask…

I nodded slowly, "Don't you have a… brother?"

"Oh, Regulus won't tell, he's too scared of me and Kreacher has to do what I say, no matter how much he hates me…" Sirius started to walk away, "Coming?"

I ran to catch up with him, at first we walked in silence, and it was nice, I liked silence and quiet.

"So since you know all my secrets – tell me something about you?" I asked, merely curious.

"Like what? I'm hardy interesting…" He brushed me off.

"Still going with the 'dark and mysterious' thing? C'mon, what's your favourite colour? Band?" I questioned.

"Grey and... the Beatles, why would anybody want to know that?"

I roll me eyes, "Because, you can't call me your 'best friend' when I know diddly-squat about you,"

"Fine then," he smirked, "I want to be an auror when I'm older, I hate pigmy-puffs because they're annoying, would prefer a motorbike to a broomstick any day and I despise almost my _entire_ family. Happy now?"

"Fine, it's not like I wanted you to tell me stuff I'd _understand_," I murmured sarcastically.

Eventually we arrived at his home, pushing open the iron gate, I stepped into the overgrown garden, "Welcome to Grimmauld Place, it's about as cheerful as the name," He muttered in dry humour.

"Drama queen,"

"Hardly,"

I stuck my tongue out at him and found myself laughing, because I realised, no matter if he was a dog or a wizard, he was still the… same. Same sheepish grin, same coyly affectionate behaviour, same mischievous glint in his eye that set you off guard – he was still my best friend… my only friend.

We stepped through the black door with a silver knocker (that my hyperactive-self wanted to use so badly) and into the gloomy dim light, "Okay, now all we have to do is sneak by Regulus's room…"

"I thought you said he feared you and wouldn't tell?" I whispered harshly, folding my arms across my chest.

Sirius gave a sheepish smile (which reminded me almost too much of Padfoot), "Yeah, it's just he fears our mother more,"

I sighed, rolling me eyes, "Fine, lead the way, Padfoot,"

He glared at me for a second, then turned to lead me through a maze of hallways that I took no notice of because I was too absorbed in fascination at the moving paintings of grim looking men and women who looked as if they'd never smiled at all, not knew what sunshine was.

"Are these your relatives?" I asked hesitantly.

Sirius laughed bitterly, "Yeah, we're a bloody smiley lot aren't we? The noble house of Black," His words dripping with acid, "Noble being a debatable word,"

I remained silent, unsure of what to say.

"Well, what you doing just standing there, boy!" An elderly man sitting in a bronze frame snapped and we swiftly moved on.

As we advanced the steps, he put I finger to his lips in a 'shhhh' sign, I rolled my eyes and we crept up the dry wooden staircase. The two of us were almost past the room marked with R.A.B when a shy voice spoke, "Who is that girl that's your creeping though our house with, Sirius,"

"Damn it," Padfoot cursed and turned to face his little brother, who was standing on the top step, a glass of water in his hand, "Regulus, this is a friend of mine…"

"You mean the girl you've been sneaking out to see almost every day for the last few years? I thought she was a Muggle?" He gave me a confused look.

I turned to them both, "What in god's name is a Muggle?"

"Non-magical folk, don't worry about it, you're not one," He dismissed me and turned back to his smaller (and, quite frankly, a lot less dishevelled looking) brother with pleading eyes.

Regulus shook his head and gave me a look of utter disgust, "I cannot even begin to contemplate the motives which urged you to bring a _mudblood girl_ into our _home_,"

Sirius's grey eyes went cold, "Take that back you slimy little squib!" He growled, sounding a lot like the canine I originally knew him to be.

I started to get frustrated, to many foreign words were flying out of their mouths, but I could only guess them insults, "Okay, what the hell is going on? What is a mudblood?"

Sirius broke his glaring gaze from his brother and turned to me, "That _word_ is a foul and dorigitry term for a wizard who's born to two muggle parents," He spat, "And that dirty git better take it back before I pound 'im!"

"Love to see you catch me," Taunted the smaller boy.

Then I shouted, "Oi, no body's gonna be pounding anyone, got it?" I turned to Sirius, "It's seems that every time we cross paths, Sirius, you end up fighting with somebody and _you_, I don't like being insulted, so you'd better scram!"

Sirius stood behind me snickering and Regulus cowered under my fiery glare, "Fine, I won't tell mother, but keep _her_ away from me," He pointed to me and slammed his door.

I turned back to Sirius; there was moment of silence before we both collapsed into fits of laughter.

"So _little miss sunshine_ had a dark side? Nice," He nodded in approval and I grinned mischievously, "Let's go, before Regulus builds up some courage,"

Sirius pushed open the door with a hazard sign stuck to the front and we walked inside. His room was unlike the others, for one it didn't look dingy and depressing, with posters of bands and cars stuck on the walls, a mahogany desk cluttered with papers and books.

I lightly brushed my fingers over everything until they came to rest on a picture (that was surprisingly not moving) of Sirius and a girl with wavy chestnut-brown hair.

"That my cousin, Andromeda, one of the only ones I can stand," He laughed.

I kept looking around his room, there was an old camera sitting on a chair on a pile of hundreds of photo's, not of people but landscapes, rivers and nature, most of which I recognised could be found in the park. Then I came across an unusual pile of… junk.

There was old mobile phones with broken screams, an empty lighter, a remote control car missing a wheel and many more mundane items, "Why on earth did you collect this rubbish?" I asked with a laugh.

He glared at me, "It's not rubbish! They're the muggle items I've collected, aren't they awesome?"

I have him a confused look of utter disbelief, "Sirius, this is junk! It's not special at all!"

"Well _I_ for one find them quite fascinating," He folded his arms across his chest in defiance.

"But… but they don't even _work_!" I exclaimed, finding myself amused by the how stupid this argument was.

"Well I'm trying to fix them, _duh_," He rolled his eyes.

I tried not to laugh at how serious he looked, "You need batteries, idiot, if you ever want that car to work… and a new wheel while you're at it,"

He cocked his head to the side, "Batteries? What are they?"

I sighed and sat down on his bed, "It doesn't matter, okay? I came here so that you could teach me about this so-called 'wizard world', not the other way around,"

"Fine…" He sighed.

* * *

An hour later, somehow we'd moved off the topic of owls to motocross, which intrigued Sirius most of all. Suddenly, we heard the slam of the front door down stairs.

"Shit," Sirius cursed under his breath.

I scrambled to my feet, as I had been laying on my back, most of my body on the bed, but my head hanging over the side so everything was up-side-down. Shaking off the head rush, I stared at him, wondering what to do.

"Ah… get under the bed," He said as a last resort.

Then, just as I had slipped under, the door opened, "Who were you speaking to?" Asked a gauntly man with oiled black hair, of whom I suspected to be his father.

"Myself," He lied fluently.

"Then whose strawberry shoes are those?" He pointed to my converse, which were sitting on the floor near the foot of the bed, not far away from me.

"Uh… mine?"

The man's eyes turned cold, "Don't lie to me boy!" he snapped.

I could see the hatred in Sirius's eyes and the anger in his fathers, so, deciding not to cause even more conflict between them, I pulled myself out on my hiding place.

"They would be mine, Mr Black," I said with an uneasy smile, "Nice to meet you?" I lied, sticking out me hand.

He looked at the hand and scowled, "Get. Out. Of. My. House. _Now_!" Were his cold words and the smile left my face.

So, with the dignity I had left, I picked up my shoes and went to leave, "Riley, stop…" Sirius started, he looked sad.

I shrugged, "Meh, I'll see you at school anyway," Then I turned to Mr Black and mocked, "Thank you for inviting me over, you have a lovely house – very homely,"

I could see Sirius smirk as his father face went red while we walked out of the room, he lead me towards the front door (because I would have never found it) and – even though he protested with abundance – hugged him good-bye.

Then I crossed the street back into the ordinary world, and it seriously felt that way. I walked through the door and was obediently bombarded by the twins.

"Why were you over at Grimwald Place?"

"Who was that boy?"

I smirked at them, "Nothing you two need to worry your heads with…" I spoke down to them, even though they are seven years my senior,

"Is he your boyfriend?" They asked simultaneously.

I gave them a look of disgust, "We're eleven and he's my best friend! That's just… eww!"

The too just laughed at my horrified expression and walked off.

Then realisation came over me in a wave, I have to tell them.

Holy shit, how?

But I had no time to think about it as my father yelled out, "Dinner's ready," And I was ushered through the kitchen door by my mother who had snuck up behind me.

"'C'mon Riley, your fathers cooked us a lovely dinner, best to eat before the food goes cold," She smiled warmly and I sat down.

My father – who was standing in the kitchen wearing his apron – smirked, "I _always _cook dinner,"

"That's because last time mum cooked dinner, she set fire to the tea towel," said Miranda.

My mother frowned, "That was a one-off,"

"So what about the time you blew up the oven making apple pie?" I asked her, pushing the food around my plate.

She glared at all of us playfully, "Fine, I'm a horrid cook, happy now?"

They all laughed, but I remained silent. I hadn't yet ate anything off my plate and my father had noticed, "Is everything quite alright, Riley?" He asked, a note of suspicion in his timid voice.

I breathed in a deep breath and dared to utter the words.

"I'm a witch,"


	4. Chapter 4: An Odd Confession

_What has happened to it all?_

_Crazy, some'd say,_

_Where is the life that I recognize?_

_Gone away._

_–Red 'Ordinary World'_

* * *

_Chapter Four:_

At first there was complete silence, the four of them looking at me with blank faces, astonished by my outburst. Usually I was quiet; possessing a strange reserve and keeping to myself and my own 'weirdness', as the twins liked to put it.

Then there was laughing, cruelly ringing out across the table, coming directly from the twins.

"I think you've finally cracked it, Riley!" Hayley cackled.

And Miranda – in a true (annoying) twin-like fashion – continued it, "A _witch_? You're _mad_!"

But I didn't focus on them and their petty teasing, I focused on the anxious knowing glances my parents were giving each other, which were what puzzled me the most.

"It's true!" I exclaimed, banging my fist angrily on the table, rattling the crockery and cutlery.

That shut them up.

I watched intently as my mother looked down into her lap, a faint trace of guilt and sadness in her eyes, "My mum," She spoke slowly and softly, not looking at any of us, "Used to speak of witchcraft and magic, s-she called herself a Squib but when I asked what it meant, she could never tell – always muttering about things I couldn't understand or begin to contemplate… as you know, she died when I was little, and with her our family's past,"

My mother had begun shuffling around the kitchen by this stage, looking for something she couldn't seem to find, "Where did I put it…" She mumbled to herself, checking the high kitchen cupboards before lifting out a strange mahogany box with a satisfied sigh.

I stared nonplussed, confused and utterly bewildered by the strange turn our conversation had taken.

"What's going on?" Miranda cried out in annoyance, "You can't actually believe her? She's crazy!"

I looked at my parents now, "So you _do_ believe me, right?" I spoke to my parents, the hope in my voice betraying my passive reserve.

"Maybe…" Was my father's ambiguous reply.

_Well that's hardly an answer,_ I huffed.

"All I know is that this was my Grandmothers and she gave it to my mother, saying that if the 'magic' were ever to return to the family line, well… let's just say it's yours," Then she handed me the ornately carved box and I couldn't help but notice that when our fingers brushed she flinched.

It were as if I were poison.

That fact that the box was my Grandmothers didn't make me feel any more reassured, since she suffered from schizophrenia most of her life and spent her last days in a mental asylum, babbling on about black magic, impending evils and perpetual darkness.

"But how did you, well, _know_?" My father spoke up.

My thought turned straight to Sirius, but instead of bringing the subject of him into the conversation, I said instead, "A letter… I got a letter from Hogwarts," Shuffling around in my pockets, I pulled out the crumpled parchment.

"Hogs warts?" Hayley snorted in disbelief, "You've all gone barmy! Speaking of witches and magic, when none of its _real_,"

I turned to face her, "It _is_ real!" I screamed and the crystal vase in the centre of the table smashed into a thousand shards of glass, letting the water and daisies flow all other the table and our dinner.

My eyebrows shot up in surprise, "S-sorry," I mumbled although I was really that apologetic at all.

"D-d-did _you_ do that?" Miranda stared; shock in her eyes. Hayley was the same.

"I… I think I did,"

* * *

"Wish I could have seen their faces!" Sirius laughed, throwing another rock into the lake, watching it skim over the water.

I threw my flat stone over the water and smirked at him, "Oi, watch it, Wizard Boy. I had to clean it all up after,"

"Ha, well you left me to deal with my parents yesterday. I'm not meant to be here right now, by the way,"

"You're such a rebel," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes and playfully shoving his shoulder with mine.

He shoved me back and soon we were wrestling on the ground. Somehow, we ended up in our animagus forms, running around chasing and splashing each other like little children… or pups. The terminology gets a little hazy there.

After a while we tired enough to stop, there really wasn't any official winner to our pointless game, although I still think it was me who was triumphant in the end (although Sirius would probably disagree).

That said, we still ended up siting side by side on the small, rotting wharf, bare feet making soft ripples in the still water.

"I'm going to Diagon Alley next week for school supplies, you should come," He grinned.

"Dia-what? And wouldn't you parents, uh, _disagree_ with that arraignment?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion (a feeling I'd becomes quite familiar with at late).

He shook his head, "Forgot you know nothin'… Anyway, it's just a place in London for magic folk and the like. I'm going with my Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus, plus my cousins Andromeda who's starting her second year,"

I nodded in agreement with the plan, "I'll ask my parents and let you known okay?"

"Sure," Sirius gave me a dopey lop-sided smile, "I think we should start getting back now since it's almost dark and I'm meant to be grounded,"

Rolling my eyes I stood up and began walking back in the direction I came – a certain black dog at my side.

But I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to see the uneasy fear in my parents eyes that they tried so hard to hide and the scornful repulsion written all over the twins grimacing faces, because deep down we all knew I was different from the beginning, only now they have to admit it to themselves, which is sometimes harder than anything else.

But the fact remains; I'm not like them.

Even if they're family, we aren't the same. They're human and I have _magic_ flowing through my veins. I always wondered why I'd always felt so comfortable around Padfoot and nobody else – not at school or at home – but now I know.

It's because we're the same.

We're _magical_.


	5. Chapter 5: The Magic Little Box

_I'm coming out of my cage,_

_And I've been doing just fine,_

_–The Killers 'Mr Brightside'_

* * *

_Chapter Five:_

I'd been avoiding the box for as long as my overactive curiosity (which could rival that of Pandora) could handle. Then there was the fact that it didn't feel right to open it around the others, especially the twins, who pretended not to care of what lay inside it, but in truth were as curious as I.

It was just one of things that had to be done during the night, when all is quiet but the whispering of the winds and the soft hooting of wizened owls.

So it was that at midnight, I crawled out of my bead clutching a torch in one hand and the key the other. Then, leaning close, I fit the brass key in to the lock and turned it with a successful _click_.

I took another deep breath and brushed my hand over the carved mahogany wood, feeling the intricate and delicate woodwork before I opened the lid and called on its rusting hinges.

Taped to the underside of the lid was a letter, which I swiftly opened, it read;

_To whom of my decedent's this may concern,_

_In this box are the remainders of my life, packed away in a box in case the spark returns to the blood of the Bonechild family. To you solely, I have left all my possessions, in hope that they'll remind you what we once were._

_Please take good care of my belongings as they will be all that left of me that's good and true._

_The Kindest of Regards,_

_Esmeralda Bonechild_

_P.S. Never ever smash the flaming orb. That would be disastrous._

The letter did nothing to explain the items in the box or what they may be; all that I knew was that Esmeralda was my great-grandmother, since 'Bonechild' is my mother's maiden name, and now (apparently) she was a witch also.

Carefully I pulled out the first item, it was her wand. Just out of plain curiosity, I waved it, but I immediately regrated it. There was a blinding flash and the wand flew straight out of my hand.

After catching my breath, I carefully returned the rogue wand to the box. Then, still a little shaken up, I pulled out the next item (one that seemed much safer) as it was an old brass key, although not the same as the box's key. This one was beyond ancient, although not dull, as it retained a metallic sheen, with a much more intricate pattern curling its way up the hilt and around the letter _G _which was inside a ring at the end, then tied to the ring by brown string was a small piece of parchment, that read the words; _Vault 137 at Gringotts Bank._

This made no sense to me, so decided to ask Sirius on another occasion. The next item was a cool glass orb the size of a tennis ball which sat in a deep violet velvet cushion, inside were dancing red flames which occasionally flickered a brilliant cobalt colour, but their appeared to no fuel for the fire which was labelled; _Gubraithian Fire_, in my great-grandmothers cursive handwriting. I assumed this was the 'flaming orb' she mentioned in the post script of her letter so I set it down gently, fearing it may break.

There were two main items left (the rest being small bundles of dried herbs and small bottles of labelled ingredients including that of salamander' blood and snake fangs, which I found purely awesome). The first was a locket on a silver chain, in the centre of the lid was an unusual stone that dully glowed a soft lavender colour. With care I opened the locket and a tinny folded piece of parchment fell to the ground.

Unfolding it, the piece of paper turned out to be bigger than expected and read as follows;

_**The Locket of Insight…**_

_Red:__ As the densest colour, it creates the most friction. Friction attracts or repels; worries or obsessions; anger or forgiveness; anxiety or nervousness. A deep red reflects a grounded, realistic, strong willed and survival-oriented state of mind, while a light pinkish colour means the wearer of the locket feels loving, tender, sensitive, sensual, affection and compassion. A muddy red is angry and spiteful, but the clearer it becomes the more powerful, energetic and confident the person feels._

_Yellow:__ This colour_ _is the colour of energy, awakening, inspiration, creativity, playfulness and optimism. The more muddied the yellow becomes, the more stressed the person is but if the colour if pale, it means the wearer of the locket feels free and energetic._

_Green:_ _It is a very comfortable, healthy colour of nature. When seen in the stone this usually represents growth and balance, and most of all, something that leads to change. Love of people, animals and nature – that said, a murky, dingy green can mean that the locket barer feels jealousy, resentment, insecurity, feels like a victim of the world and has a low self-esteem. If the stone takes on a vibrant emerald glow, the person is feeling very happy and at peace with nature, and the closer green becomes to yellow, the more creative and talkative the person is feeling._

_Blue:_ _This colour is cool, calm, and collected, like the ocean. The person who glows blue is caring, loving, sensitive and intuitive. The softer the blue, the more calm, truthful and clear the person is feeling but is the stone becomes dark and muddy, it means that they are fearful and secretive, but don't let that colour be confused with royal blue, as that colour signifies strength, confidence and the arrival of positive new opportunities._

_Violet:_ _The most sensitive and wisest of colours. This is the intuitive colour in the aura, and reveals psychic power of atonement with self. The person who the stone glows violet for is feeling intuitive, visionary, futuristic, idealistic, artistic and mystical .If the_

_Black/Grey:__ Death is close for the barer of the locket, their mind and body almost completely drained of life or they are almost totally overcome with grief that they cannot see anything but darkness in the world._

_White: __The wearer of the stone is completely at peace with themselves and is balanced in all respects._

Once I read all that, I folded the piece if paper back into its tiny little square and placed it back inside the locket, knowing that I wouldn't remember any of that and would need to reference the sheet later on. I decided to keep wearing it instead of returning it the box like I had done with the rest of the obscure objects, but unlike the others, this one didn't explode, burn or serve no known purpose and seemed to be genuinely useful.

Finally, I came to inspecting the last object – a quill. The feather was a deep jade that turned in soft emerald-greens at the end with the occasional wisp of turquoise-blue and lavender, like many of the other magical items, the quill was also accompanied by a note.

_To preserve the Invisibility Quill's magical qualities, please refrain from dipping it in any coloured inks as this quill provides for itself. To reveal any invisible writing you have written either use a Revealer or tap the writing with your wand (if you can recall where it is) and whisper the words 'vatum conspectu'._

I smiled to myself, thinking of all the ways I could use this, but still I returned it to the box.

My thought began to slow and my eye lids felt heavy as they drifted closed, and I wandered in to the black dreamless void that was my sleep – still clutching the box and laying on the shaggy floor rug in front of the roaring fireplace in the living room.

* * *

When I first asked to go with the Blacks too Diagon Alley, they didn't say no, but… they didn't say yes either. They spoke in a way any other ordinary parents would ordinarily be obligated to; they protested that they should 'accompany me', but they didn't put up much of a fight – because in truth, they _didn't _want to come and they _didn't _care if I went alone, they just wanted me gone.

What I was scared them, although they'd never admit it to themselves. Especially mother, who had grown up with my grandmother's constant muttering of evil curses and spells. It was practically drilled into my mum's brain that magic was _bad_.

That said, I could see they were trying – not to understand, but to preserve my feelings – which is all I could ask since truly, they didn't want to understand, but in their minds, I'm still their daughter – no matter how arcane I have become.

But the tense air at home couldn't be ignored. The twins outright avoided me ( and for that, I am thankful), which left my parents and I to awkwardly dance around each other. I was like walking on glass, the slightest thing could shatter the uneasy peace we'd established, so looking for salvation from my edgy home life, I spent most of my time at the park, climbing tree's and collecting colourful rocks for my collection.

All and all, the next Wednesday couldn't have come any sooner.

That morning, I had watched the rickety house across the street through my living room shutters, waiting (an instructed by Sirius) for his parents to leave in the morning for the Ministry, then later, for his further relatives to arrive.

That time came right before noon.

"See you later dad!" I yelled, knowing he was the only one at home since my mum was at the office today.

"H-have fun," He replied robotically.

Grabbing my rucksack, I walked out the front door, heading straight across the street to Grimwald Place. Sirius answered right before I was about to knock.

"How're you going?" He grinned mischievously, "Ready to tell a whole lot of lies?"

I smiled slyly back at him, "When am I not?"

He led me through a maze of dark corridors with the usual moving portraits (that I found absolutely fascinating) before we came to what looked like some kind of cryptic drawing room and sitting down on the lounge was Regulus, a skeletal women next to a bulbous man and in the corner was the same girl Sirius has shown me in a moving photograph last week with wavy chestnut hair, grey eyes and the same sharp features as Sirius, she had a genuine smile of her face unlike her parents who wore expression of utter displeasure.

"Oh, so _this_ is the girl? Sirius was just telling me about your father," Sirius's Aunt's voice was screechy and irritating.

"Oh yes, he's quite an accomplished inventor, always trying to experiment with different spells and potions," I nodded, hoping that the acting classes I used to take when I was little proved useful.

"Wha–?" Started Regulus who looked confused, but Sirius kicked him in the shin and gave him a hard look.

"And your mother?" Asked Cygnus, who hadn't noticed Regulus's slight outburst.

"Muggle," I spoke plainly, although I probably shouldn't have said it.

Their faces screwed up as if they'd just eaten a lemon, "Oh, you're a _half_-blood? Well, I guess people make _mistakes_," The tone of Druella's voice was tense and I had to pinch myself to stop myself from cracking up laughing on the spot. Their prejudices just seemed so… silly.

"Anyway, we should be on our way," Cygnus stood up, "Regulus, fetch the Floo Powder please," He asked gruffly.

Andromeda, who has so far remained quiet, spoke up, "Hey Sirius and… what's your name?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"Riley O'Conner," I said confidently.

Andromeda's eyes widened, "Oh, you're _that_ girl, the one Sirius always talks about, but he said your parents were–"

Sirius covered her mouth with his hand, "Shhh,"

She nodded in understanding and he removed his hand, then surprisingly, she began laughing.

"Don't worry, your secrets safe with me – anybody who can fool my parents is regarded highly in my book," She winked at me.

"Thanks Andi," He said with a sheepish grin, then asked, "But where's Narcissa? Isn't she starting her fifth year?"

"She went with her 'friend' the other day, apparently it's not 'cool' to go with your little sister anymore," Andi said, a note of disgust on her voice.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "By 'friend' do you mean that idiot Malfoy kid she's dating?"

"The very same,"

I stared blankly at them, "Who?"

"Don't worry, Riley, he's just the douche that's currently dating my sister, they'll probably break up soon anyways," She shrugged.

At that moment Regulus returned with the powder (thank god Sirius had previously explained this particular mode of travel). He looked at me with an uneasy glare but remained silent while his elder brother and cousin stood by my side.

"Well, hurry up, we haven't got all day!" Snapped Druella and I grabbed a handful of the magical sand.

Without hesitation, I stepped inside the fireplace and threw down the powder and spoke clearly the words, "Diagon Alley,"

I felt the eerie green flames burst around my feet without burning me, white noise filled my mind and multiple flashes of coloured light swirled around me. I became weightless for a few fleeting moments before my eyes fluttered open and I rolled out of a fireplace onto my back.

Breathing heavily, I scrambled to my feet just as Sirius fell out of the fireplace in a flash of emerald light, "I'll never get used to that," He shook his head.

"Me neither,"

Just then Andi appeared in the flames, much more gracefully than Sirius and I, "Sirius, what are you doing on the floor?" She asked, smirking but still genuinely curious.

"Oh, you know, just admiring the tiling on the ceiling," He said sarcastically as I offered him a hand up.

Then Druella and Cygnus appeared, walking out of the fire and straight towards the door, much more acquainted with this form of transportation than us kids.

"Children, let us not delay any further, hurry up!"

Andi followed them, but before I could step outside Sirius stoped me.

"Riley," Sirius said to me, a serious look on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Welcome to Diagon Alley," Then he pushed open the door and together we stepped into the busy cobblestone street.

* * *

**Just a quick note; 'vatum conspectu' means 'the seer's sight' in Latin.**


	6. Chapter 6: Diagon Alley

**I apologise in advance, this is quite a long chapter. Also, I used the same supplies list as Harry got for his first year, even though his parents' generation would've had a different one. maybe someday I'll be bothered to create my own titles.**

* * *

_"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are,"_

* * *

_Chapter Six:_

I could hear the hum of white noise in the air, the conversations of many witches, wizards and other assorted magical creatures in the like, ringing as one through the cobblestone street.

Never had I witnessed a sight such as this as we walked down the lane; little shops crammed in together like many shacks stacked on top of one another. The odd looking people dressed in old-fashioned coloured robes and pointed hats as they walked down the street brandishing brooms and clutching cauldrons filled with herbs and spices, all that I suspected, were for some sort of potion or brew.

Everywhere I looked there were owls of different soughs, flying freely through the masses, delivering messages and letters from one wizard to another. I saw a cluster of children pressed their faces up against a sweets store window while their parents traded magical items and street-sweeping brooms that swept themselves.

"C'mon Riley, we gota catch up," Sirius tugged at my sleeve and I snapped out of my daydream.

I ran after him, dodging through the crowd until I found his family.

"We start at Gringotts, get you keys ready," Cygnus clicked his tongue, "Girl, what's your vault number?"

Digging into the pockets of my overalls I pulled out the ancient key that had been in my Great-Grandmothers box of odd magical items, "Mine is vault… 137," I said, meeting his cold grey eyes.

"Good, it's on the way to _ours_," Druella looked down her nose at me and I had to refrain myself from socking her one right in pointed nose.

Andi gave me an apologetic smile and I shrugged.

Together we followed the adults through the winding street until we came to a grey stone building.

"Is that it?" I whispered.

"Yep, that's Gringotts alright," Sirius replied, "Grim ain't it?"

I nodded and gazed up at the forbidding tower, with inky black double door that didn't seem at all inviting, "Hurry up," Snapped Cygnus bluntly and I obeyed silently, biting my fiery tongue that longed to shut them up with a string of profanities.

I could see Sirius felt the same as we advanced upon the cold steps of the Bank.

Guarding the doors wearing scarlet and gold uniforms were very short, very stumpy little men. The others didn't bat an eyelid to the sight of their lumpy faces and needle pointed teeth that curled into a grimace as they stood to attention, but I couldn't but stare wide eyed.

"What are they?" I whispered in Sirius's ear.

"They're goblins, they run the bank. Awfully tricky folk though – make sure to not wander off," He said gravely and I nodded.

Engraved on the door I read the cryptic poem;

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn._

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there._

The words were intriguing, but still sent shivers down my spine. As we entered, I watched them crane their necks over the high desks to either side of the walkway, smiling creepily at us.

Approaching the desk, I felt nervous – which was quite a foreign feeling for me – since my motto practically was 'meh, whatever – I'll try anything once', but this was different.

Even though I knew wizards aren't exactly human and their – our – world was nothing like the one I grew up in. They still looked, spoke and acted (for the most part) like the Muggles I've always known, but these… these _goblins_, were a part of a whole new level of this magical world I'd been thrust into that (even though I'm usually fearless when I came to new and interesting things) didn't cease to scare me a little.

"How may I help you today?" The goblin voice sent shivers down my spine.

"We would like to visit vaults 711, 612 and 137 for these three children," She pointed to us in order.

"Ah, the Black family vaults and… oh," He smiled creepily at me, "The Bonechild family, very interesting indeed,"

Druella and Cygnus visibly stiffened, "Bonechild? You are related to Esmeralda Bonechild?"

The three of us kids looked blankly at the adults, confused.

"Y-yes, she was my great-grandmother," I said, unsure of what that meant to them.

"What do you know of her, then?" Asked Druella.

I bit my lip, "Nothing, just that she was a witch,"

"Good," They both said in unison, but the tone of their voices told me they didn't believe it was 'good' at all.

"Now, do you have your keys?"

Cygnus handed over two key's as I searched my many pockets looking for the key I'd found in Esmeralda's wooden box, when I found it, I placed it on the goblins desk.

"And your wands?" It asked and Cygnus and Druella handed over their wands, the goblin checked them over and handed them back to their owners.

"Why does it need our wands?" I whispered to Andi.

"Identification," She replied and handed over her wand for inspection, "Every wizard's wand is unique to them,"

"Since Sirius is family and without a wand, our wands count for him," Druella told the goblin.

"This is correct, but what of her?" he pointed a crocked finger at me.

Pulling out Esmeralda's wand from my old brown rucksack, "This was my great-grandmothers, is that okay?"

"Yes, it shall do," He said with displeasure and handed it back, "Please follow me,"

We were lead through a narrow stone passageway lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downward and there were little railway tracks on the floor, like those that would carry mining carts in and out of olden day coal shafts. The goblin whistled and a small bronze cart (that didn't at all look safe) hurtled up the tracks toward us.

"Well, go on, get in you lot," the goblin ordered grouchily, causing Druella to scowl at him, but remain silent none the less.

As soon as the last of us were in the cart, it shot off like a bullet from a gun, sending my long fiery hair into a frenzy as the wind blasted my face, sending an icy chill down my spine. I gripped the seats in a mix or terror and thrilling excitement, unable to keep a wide grin from my face. Bursts of fire erupted, narrowly missing us but still managing to singe the end of Cygnus's beard, which he madly patted out even after the few embers had settled.

I began laughing half-manically, Sirius staring at me strangely, as we plunged deeper and deeper past underground lakes and waterfalls that sprayed water on us.

Then, as suddenly as we had begun, we ceased with an all might jolt.

"Vault 137 of the Bonechild family," The goblin's gruff voice echoed through the dark chamber, "You girl. Come,"

I looked at the others, who did seem to be moving, so I climbed out and followed the goblin. He led my through a straight tunnel with giant iron doors to either side along the rocky walls, I counted down in my head as we walked; 133, 134, 135, 136 and finally we stopped outside vault 137. The vault of my family.

The goblin (who I was growing to dislike more and more every minute) wasted no time in swiftly unlocking the grand door, which spewed out green smoke right into my face, causing my eyes to water and lungs burst out in a hacking cough.

"What _is_ that?" I asked my voice raspy.

"Smoke," He deadpanned.

_Well, I kinda figured that much out for myself, thanks._

As it cleared, I hesitantly took a step forward (still not entirely trusting the goblin not to lock me inside for the next century or two). Inside in untidy stacks were glittering piles of gold, silver and bronze covered in a thin layer of dust, but then when I went to inspect the coins, I discovered they weren't of any currency I knew.

"What are these?" I asked the goblin who was impatiently tapping his foot by the doorway.

"You really _are_ naïve. That there is wizard money, girl," I stared blankly at him and continued with a sigh, "The gold ones are Galleons, there are seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine bronze Knuts to a Sickle, you don't need a N.E.W.T in Arithmancy to understand it, girl," he laughed dryly.

I nodded, committing it to memory. Then, taking out a leather pouch from my rucksack, I filled it to the brim unsure how much I'd need.

Dusting off my overalls, I stood and up and said, "Done,"

"'Bout time," he mumbled, locking the door behind me and returning to key to my possession, "Be careful with that, if you lose it you can't access your vault," he warned and I returned it to my backpack.

In silence we walked back the way we came, I could see Andi and Sirius talking while Cygnus and Druella sat there, scowls plaster on their faces, "Well, you took your time, didn't you," She snorted as I climbed in, and so, yet again I had to bite my tongue to keep it from lashing out.

Then, off we shot like a canon, dipping and diving deeper and deeper towards the earth's core.

Soon enough, we came screeching to a halt again, the difference this time was that I knew about it and had braced myself properly for the unforgiving jolt.

This time it was Andromeda and her parents time to visit their vault, leaving Sirius and I in the carriage alone.

"Well, they seem pleasant," I joked sarcastically.

"Sure, as pleasant as a migraine," He retorted dryly.

I gave him an odd look, "You really don't like your family, do you?"

"About as much as a cow likes an abattoir. The Blacks act as if the rest of the world should be happy to be graced with their presence and are to prude to realise nobody gives a shit," Sirius spat.

I shrugged, "Andromeda seems nice enough,"

He smiled, "That's because Andi's like me,"

"And how am I like you, Sirius?" Said girl asked, appearing in the archway.

"You don't suffer from the same superiority complex as our parents," Padfoot spoke plainly.

"True," she said seriously just as the dreaded aunt and uncle themselves appeared behind her accompanied by the goblin.

"Alright, we haven't got all day. Next stop, vault 711," the goblin spoke with authority that I could tell bothered both Druella and Cygnus.

The next stop was farther away and deeper down than I could ever had imagined, and if it could have grown and darker, it would have.

Down here the air was dry and stale as we pulled up alongside another door. This time it was Sirius's turn to climb out of the cart and follow the goblin to his vault through a maze of winding passageways.

"How did they manage to dig tunnels so far down without it collapsing?" I asked Andi in a monotone.

"Magic," She deadpanned.

"Should've guessed that, it's all just so overwhelming,"

"Well I grew up with my parents using magic freely, but if I were to be thrust into the muggle world, I'd be lost just as much as you are now,"

I shrugged, "Guess so,"

"Don't worry, it doesn't matter if you're muggle born, half-blood or full – ever first year is new to using magic,"

"So you hadn't used magic before Hogwarts? Why?" I asked.

She smiled, "Well I've never _intentionally_ used magic, sometimes it's an accident, but no, I haven't ever used it on purpose – using magic outside of Hogwarts before you turn sixteen it illegal,"

I laughed, "Well that seems stupid, being a witch but not being able to use magic,"

"Every law serves its own purpose, Riley, the Ministry of Magic doesn't need to be cleaning up the messes of half-trained teenagers waving their wands about," Andromeda sighed, sounding too mature for a twelve-year-old. I blame her parents.

I was about to add to that but Sirius returned, "What'd I miss?"

"Andi was teaching me more about you world," I smiled enthusiastically as we left for our last ride in the cart.

"I'll take Andromeda to collect her second year things while the two of you go with Cygnus to buy yours and get you wands, we'll met at _Madam Malkin's_ in exactly an hour," Druella told us all strictly, then she turned on her heel and marched off – Andi in tow.

"Alright you lot, we start at _Flourish and Blotts_, what are the books we need again?" He asked me sharply.

Out of my pocket I pulled my supplies list that was owled to me.

_Uniform:_

_Three Sets of Plain Work Robes (Black) _

_One Plain Pointed Hat (Black) for day wear _

_One Pair of Protective Gloves (dragon hide or similar) _

_One Winter Cloak (Black, silver fastenings) _

_Please note that all students' clothes should carry name-tags. _

_Course Books:_

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk _

_A History of Magic __by Bathilda Bagshot _

_Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling _

_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch _

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore _

_Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger _

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander _

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble _

_Other Equipment:_

_1 Wand _

_1 Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2) _

_1 set of glass or crystal phials _

_1 telescope _

_1 set of brass scales _

_Students may also bring an Owl OR a Cat OR a Ferret. _

_PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE __NOT__ ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS._

After reading it I handed it to Cygnus, "Here," In said and he snatched it out of my hands with his grubby fingers.

"Alright, c'mon you two," he walked off, expecting Sirius and I to follow and we did, fearing getting lost in the rushing crowd.

We came upon our first shop, Cygnus ushering us inside briskly.

"Morning all," Said a middle-ages man with strain, he looked as if he'd just rolled out of bed and ran a marathon – tired and stressed.

"It's afternoon, sir," I corrected him.

A look of confusion washed over him, "Oh, so it is, little lady," he smiled.

"Anyway," Cygnus interrupted, "We have a list of first year course books for these two,"

"Of course, of course," he muttered, "Not the first today, let me guess; _The Standard Book of Spells, A History of Magic, Magic Theory,__ A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration and…_"

"_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, Magical Drafts and Potions_," I added.

"Then we need _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ and finally _The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_," Sirius finished off the list as the manager began shuffling around the store, going through piles of disorganised leather-bound books, pilling them into our arms as he went.

When the manager was done, we took the piles off us and wrapped them in brown paper, tying them together with brown string.

We paid at the counter and headed out the door to the next shop.

* * *

Even though we'd been shopping for less than an hour, it felt as if I'd been walking for ages. The last fifty minutes had been the most arcane and interesting ones I'd ever experienced, learning all sorts of wonderful things and witnessing impossible sight's I'd never thought I'd ever see, but it was as tiring as it was exciting and I found myself being dragged along by Sirius towards Ollivanders.

"C'mon Riley, this is when we get our wands!" Sirius beamed at me and my head snapped up.

"What?"

He sighed, "Ollivanders is the wand shop, you idiot!"

"Oh…" was all I said as I stared up at the shop, energy somehow finding me, "Well then what are we waiting for?"

Rolling his eyes we walked inside, the door hitting a bell and making a dinging noise as it opened.

It smelled musty and damp inside, like a library, but instead of having shelves lines with books, little boxes were stacked in semi-orderly piles.

Cygnus automatically sat down in the only chair there was near the door as he waited, opening up a Newspaper named 'The Daily Prophet' which I had never heard of before.

"Hello?" Sirius called out.

Suddenly, a man with wild grey hair and pale silvery owl-like eyes appeared out from behind a shelf.

"How may I help you?" He asked with a soft voice that could almost be a whisper.

"We're looking for wands, sir," I said meekly.

"Well of course you are! Why else would you visit Ollivanders?" He grinned, "What are your names then?"

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black," Padfoot spoke with an underlying note of disgust in his voice.

"And I'm Riley O'Conner," I spoke up.

He looked at Sirius, "I remember your parents now, back when I was new to wandlore. Orion was chosen by a Hawthorn wand, twelve inches, slightly springy and your mother a Black Walnut, fourteen inches, unyielding – both with unicorn hair core," he remained, eyes growing distant, then snapping back into reality, "Start with this, Hawthorn, like your father," he handed Sirius a wand as I watched in wonder.

He waved it and it sent dim particles of light fizzing to the floor.

"Well that was… disappointing. Perhaps something a little more powerful," Mr Ollivander pulled out a longer wand, this time with a lovely mahogany hue, and measured it against his forearm, "Redwood, 15 inches, unyielding with phoenix feather," He stated proudly, "I've always found Redwood to pull towards the wizards who always seem to fall on their feet, make the right choices and find advantage in great catastrophe,"

He handed it to Sirius and this time when he clutched the wand, it shot out golden sparks that danced around the room.

"Oh, very good! Very, _very_ good indeed!" Mr Ollivander clasped his hands together, "Now for you, young lady, what did you say your surname name was again?"

"O'Conner,"

"Hmm, never heard of the name O'Conner before, are you a muggle born?" He asked innocently.

I looked over my shoulder at Cygnus to see his slumped and snoring in the chair, "Yes and no, my great-grandmother was a witch, her daughter a Squib and my mother a muggle,"

"What was your great-grandmother's name then?" He asked.

"Esmeralda Bonechild," I mumbled and his eyebrows shot up.

"Well that _is_ interesting, isn't it… I'll go check my records. I make a point of myself to remember every single wand I've ever sold, but my father and his father before that didn't, so they wrote it all down. It's possible they have knowledge of–"

"No need, I have her wand right here with me," I pulled it out of my bag and handed it to him.

Mr Ollivander regarded it with curiosity, inspecting it with caution, "Cherry wood, 12 and a half inches, unyielding and… dragon heart-string. An extremely powerful and temperamental combination, this wand ought never to be teamed with a wizard without exceptional self-control and strength of mind, but I understand how it could fit her…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She was an extremely powerful Auror before… before…" Mr Ollivander looked at me uneasily.

"Before what?" I persisted.

He gave in with a sigh, "Before she was arrested for the murder of her husband, Devonis Bonechild,"


	7. Chapter 7: Scycamore for the Adventurous

_"The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is,"_

_–Winston Churchill_

* * *

_Chapter Seven:_

I froze; my great-grandmother had been a _murderer?_ That was defiantly the greatest surprise I'd had all day – which was saying something.

Sirius stood next to me, eyebrows up in shock, apparently he hadn't known this fact but I bet my bottom last buck her Aunt and Uncle did – that's why they acted so strangely at Gringotts.

"Oh dear, I didn't mean to cause you any distress. I shouldn't have said anything, I apologise," Mr Ollivander said gently, "If it makes you feel any better, I don't believe your wand will be like her's – you strike me as to curious and adventurous for that combination,"

I nodded calmly, "It's okay, I'm fine – just a little startled, is all,"

"Good, good," he murmured, searching is shelves again until with a satisfied sigh he plucked several boxes from the shelf, "Try this, it's ash wood, twelve and a quarter inches, firm with unicorn hair core," he handed it to me but as soon as it touched my skin, it shoot away, flying into the opposite wall.

"Um, I don't think that wand likes me very much," I laughed uneasily as Sirius held back laughter in the background.

"I agree… so how about this one, Cedar wood, eleven inches, steady with phoenix feather core, "

This time, when he handed it to me the wand didn't automatically fly across the room, so I gave it a little wave…

… and managed to set fire to the curtains.

"_Aqua Eructo__,_" Cast Mr Ollivander, shooting a jet of water out of his wand, effectively dousing the fire, "No harm done, although you are proving to be quite the tricky customer,"

I smiled sheepishly, "Sorry,"

He waved off my apologies, "No need," He said, lifting up a slightly crooked, sandy-coloured wand, "Sycamore wood, 13 inches with a dragon heart-string core, for the curious, free-spirited and adventurous… sound like you?" He asked, a slight smile on his lips.

Sirius laughed warmly, "That sounds _exactly _like her,"

_Please don't explode_, I silently prayed as I took the wand in my grasp. It grew warm in my grip as I felt power surge through my veins, then with a wave, a white light glowed around the tip, which faded into shimmering sparks.

"I think we have your wand, Miss O'Conner," Mr Ollivander beamed.

I handed Sirius the money to pay for mine – trusting him not to rip me off – since I still didn't understand their currency system.

"Thank you," I said as Sirius woke his napping uncle.

"We done here?" Asked Cygnus grumpily.

We nodded and left the eerie store behind.

"Now, we only have one thing left to do before we meet up with Druella at _Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions_, and that's to get your pets from _Magical Menagerie_ and _Eeylops Owl Emporium_," He spoke down to us as if we were half-brained, "Now, when you chose your pet, I don't want any dilly dallying, be swift with choosing it so we can get out of there quick – I don't like the smell of animal's," he sneered, while I was practically bouncing up and down.

I'd always wanted a pet, but my dad said no as he's allergic (they cause him incessant sneezing) to cats, dogs, frogs, horses, pigs and pretty much all household animal's, but now I had the chance... I had to take it. He'd only be around the animal (whatever it may be as I have yet to decide) in the holidays.

Soon we came to a wild store, unlike Ollivander's which had been empty apart from us; _Eeylops Owl Emporium_ was teeming with prospective owl owners. It was dark inside, my ears full of screeching owls and nose the grotesque smell of bird droppings. Some were held in cages that hung from chains from the roof, while others flew freely around the shop, but never venturing past the door, as if there were some charm that kept them from leaving.

A women with dirty-blond hair knotted like a bird's nest (pun intended) scrambled up to us. She had one snow white owl resting on her shoulder, another that looked slightly demonic resting on her leather-gloved forearm and a chick with tuffs of fluffy brown feathers resting on her head, "Could you direct us to the Screech Owl's please?" Sirius asked her.

"Of course, they're over there by the feeders. Why, I have one on my shoulder, right now!" She beamed, "His name is Mischief, and full of personality, he is," She pointed to the demonic-looking one.

Sirius's smile widened and I face-palmed – trust Padfoot to choose a demon-owl named 'Mischief'.

"Is he for sale?" Cygnus asked.

The women nodded enthusiastically.

"We'll take him," Sirius grinned wildly and I laughed.

Five minutes later we left the shop to go to _Magical Menagerie_ – a better smelling, less noisy pet store than the last. Inside there was a much larger range of animals, from toads and cats to slugs and peacocks. Again, the shop was full of witches and wizards and I had to squeeze past many as I B-Lined towards the ferret cadges near the back.

I remember ask many times for a ferret when I was younger, the reply was always no, since my father is allergic and because apparently (according to my mother, Sarah and the twins) they're 'foul, disgusting vermin'.

I didn't share this belief and I couldn't _wait _to see the looks on their faces when I brought one home.

"Aren't they awesome!" I exclaimed.

"Owls are better," Sirius said just to goad me.

"Well hurry up and pick one, then," Cygnus said, standing their impatiently with his meaty arms folded across his chest and foot trapping away.

Peering through the cages I saw four snow-white ferrets with black tipped tails and ears scratching at the bars, looking as if they wanted to get out.

But the fifth however, coloured with a mix of muddy brown, grey-ish white and inky black, sat near the back – I could see the intelligence in its beady eyes as it sniffed at the lock.

"What's his name?" I asked a man who I assumed worked there as he was wearing the _Magical Menagerie's _uniform apron over is usual clothes.

"Oh, he has no name," The shop-tender smiled, "Would you like him?"

"Yes thanks," I said to the wizard as he reached into the cage to grab the ferret.

"So what are you going to name him?" He asked, handing the animal over.

I thought for a second, the spoke the name, "Marvin,"

* * *

"You're late," Snapped Druella as we approached, "Andromeda has already had her robes fitted,"

"Sorry dear, they took forever in Ollivanders," He blamed us. I saw Sirius roll his eyes and a stifled a laugh.

_How would you know? You were asleep, you old fool!_ I wanted to say, but remained quiet.

"Anyway, leave the owl and… ferret… with our things while you get fitted for your robes. Andromeda, you go with them, keep them out of trouble," She shrivelled up her nose as I put Marvin in his cage (he had previously been sitting on my shoulder) and placed it near her feet.

Andi leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You seem to be unravelling my parent's coils quite skilfully," I raised an eyebrow at this, "And I'm finding it rather enjoyable to watch," She smiled slyly, the same smile I'd seen on Sirius many times.

"Well, they do seem quite tightly wound," I grinned mischievously and followed her through the shop entrance.

And it was at that point I realized that it didn't matter how strange my family had always thought I was or how out of place I'd felt for the first eleven years of my life – because I'd found the place where I truly belonged, and it was here, among my fellow witches and wizards.


	8. Chapter 8: Marvin the Ferret

**Sorry I haven't been updating, I've been EXTREAMLY busy with Hunger Games re-enactment's, school starting again and other stuff, so here's a long chapter for you all!**

* * *

_"In time we hate that which we often fear,"_

_–William Shakespeare_

* * *

_Chapter Eight:_

"How was your day?"

It was the first question asked as I walked through the door of my house – and yes, I said my house, not my home.

I shrugged seeming nonchalant, "I bought a ferret. His name is Marvin,"

"What?" My mother screeched.

"I – bought – a – ferret," I said, this time saying it patronisingly slow as if she were stupid.

Then, hearing the commotion, my father walked in, "What's going on in here?" he asked cheerfully, but his smile was wiped off his face at the look of my mother grimace.

"She bought a ferret!"

"A ferret?" He looked puzzled.

"Yes, a ferret! A vile, disgusting _ferret_!" my mother exclaimed.

"What she get a ferret for?" he asked mum, she shrugged – looking quite distressed – then he turned to me, "What you get a ferret for?" he asked sternly.

"I wanted a ferret and because it says – quite clearly, I must add – on my Hogwarts letter that I may take with me either an owl OR a toad OR a ferret. Obviously, I chose a ferret, since I've been asking for one since I was five," I stated quite matter-of-factly.

"B-B-But your father is allergic," she pleaded.

I scowled, "Don't worry, I'll only be here in the holidays, if even then," I spoke harshly.

The anger in their eyes left as they stared at me in puzzlement, "What do you mean 'if even then', why wouldn't you come home for the term breaks?"

I snorted a bitter laugh, "Don't act stupid, I know you don't want me here – you think I'm a _freak_!"

"It's not that–" my father started but I interrupted him.

"Oh, so you don't, do you? No, I guess not," I looked especially at my mother now, "you think I'll end up like my grandmother, rocking in the corner of an _insane asylum _for the rest of my days!"

My father, who had already been jumbled, turned to my mother in absolute confusion, "what's she talking about?"

"Nothing!" she snapped, "Riley, go to your room and your grounded, for a month!"

"No need, I'm only here for another two weeks until school starts," I hissed, and was just about to mount the stairs when the doorbell rang.

My father – looking for an excuse to get out of the tense room – went to answer the door, "Yes?"

"Um, Sir, is Riley home?" I heard Sirius ask… wait, Sirius?

I froze on the staircase wondering why he would be here?

"Yes, she is," he said plainly.

"Okay… can I see her then?"

"No, she was just grounded," he stated matter-of-factly.

Now it was Sirius's turn to look confused, "Wait, what? Didn't she just get home?"

My dad nodded in agreement, "Yes, which makes me wonder why you here, you know, since you both just got back?"

Padfoot's eyes went wide as if he just remembered why he was here, "Yeah, I accidentally picked up her copy of _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ and wanted to return it,"

He looked uneasy at the mere mention of magic, "Oh… _Riley, there somebody at the door for you!_" he yelled out as I rolled my eyes, coming out of my hiding place, since I'm _meant_ to be upstairs in my room.

"Yes?" I asked sweetly (and sarcastically).

"Hey Riley, here's your book," Sirius handed it to me and asked hopefully, "Want to go to the lake?"

I laughed bitterly, "I _wish_, but I'm grounded, remember,"

He looked disappointed, "Okay then, see you at school,"

"You too," I sighed, shutting the door, gripping the handle for a few seconds, not wanting to go upstairs. Then, making an irrational decision, I swang open the door again and yelled to Sirius, who was halfway across the road, "Wait a second!"

He stared at me quizzically and started walking back, "Why?"

"Just wait, okay?" I said, then ran into the living room where my parents were sitting watching the news.

"Please define the term 'grounded' for me," I asked hastily.

"If you trying to–"

"I'm not trying to get out of my punishment," I rolled my eyes.

Well, I kind of _was_, but whatever.

Mum shook her head and said strictly, "You are confined to the confines of the house and front lawn until the school year starts, but, didn't I tell you five minutes ago to go to your room?"

I grinned half-manically, "Yes, I was just going,"

Running back to the door where Sirius was standing, "Come on into the Muggle house, Padfoot," I smiled slyly.

"I'm guessing I'm not allowed here?" He cocked an eyebrow.

I shrugged, "Found a loop-hole in the grounding contract agreement – I can't leave the house, yes, but that doesn't stop people from entering,"

He nodded, "Crafty,"

Dragging him upstairs by the wrist we were stopped at the top of the staircase.

"Who's _he_?" Asked Miranda, flanked by Hayley, both blocking our path.

I glared at them, "This is Sirius Black from across the road, and Sirius these are my sister's Hayley," I pointed to Miranda, "And Miranda," I pointed to Hayley – just because I knew it would annoy them.

"Why aren't your pictures moving?" He questioned, poking a picture of toddler Sarah hanging in the wall.

I rolled my eyes, "Their muggle pictures, stupid,"

"What are you two talking about? What's a Muggle?" Hayley demanded.

"_You_ are muggles," Sirius stated, "_We_ are wizards," He spoke without any hesitation, not realising how much of a touchy subject magic was in my household.

The expressions dropped off their faces, "Oh… your one of... _them_," Miranda spoke with obvious distaste.

I could see he was about to open his mouth, so I interrupted, "Just let us past, okay?"

"Why should we?" Hayley said with hostility.

Then I pulled out my wand, "Because I have a wand and a whole spell book full of curses to try out,"

"Fine, whatever, just stay out of our way," Miranda spat and they hurriedly pushed past me, but under all the resentment they pulsed, I still saw the spark of fear in their eyes as I pulled out my wand.

Was that it? I mean, I know they think I'm a freak, a creature, an arcane being – but is that really all? Do they fear me also? Or more importantly… my power?

And was it such a _fear_ that birthed their umbrage dislike?

I didn't have time to dwell of it as Padfoot and I rocketed up the stairs. Walking down the corridor we passed Sarah's room, then Hayley's and Miranda's until we finally came to the end door marked.

_DO NOT__ ENTER UNLESS YOU WISH TO DIE __SLOWLY__ AND __PAINFULLY__!_

"I'm guessing this room is yours?" he asked, one eyebrow cocked.

I nodded then pushed the door open, to reveal another staircase.

"O-kay… you sleep on… stairs?"

Rolling my eyes, I shoved him, "I sleep in the attic, you dummkopf. When Sarah moved out they offered me her old room, but I wanted to stay up here,"

"Sweet,"

Unlike the clean, vacuumed, carpeted first-to-second-floor staircase, the ones that led up to my room were wooden and rotting.

When we reached the top there was another door, which used to be painted white but it had yellowed with age and since began to peel away from the wood. There was another sign, but this time it was painted on my door, it read; _SO YOU DIDN'T LISTEN, HUH? I SAY, TURN BACK __NOW__!_

I remember when I painted that on, my parents flipped, as they always did when I did crazy things. Come to think of it, I spent lots of time grounded over the years.

When I walked in I was greeted by its usual musty smell, "Home sweet home," I sighed happily.

My bedroom was… unusual. Not what you'd expect of an eleven year old.

The walls were painted a dirty-creamy colour which had begun to peel at the edges, in the far corner was an old fireplace which I wasn't allowed to light (no matter how much I wanted to), but on the mantle sat stacks of books, half-melted candles and piled of old fraying photographs. There was one circular window, like a porthole, making the coloured glass bottles I hung from the roof catch the sunlight.

Sitting upon my chest of draws (which had been sitting in the attic since before my parents bought this house twenty years ago) I had a collection of antique camera's and above that I'd stuck a giant map of the world, then with pins marked all the different countries, cities, town and iconic landmarks that I wished to visit someday (there's a lot).

On the opposing wall I had framed my dead butterfly collection (for a while I aspired to be a professional entomologist) and on the shelf, my books, which consisted mostly of the classic mystery tales of Agatha Christie and the ancient gramophone that – for whatever reason – was left to me when my Oma from my father's side passed on (but by that point she was senile, so I shouldn't be surprised). I didn't even notice when she faded away is was so quiet and peaceful.

I saw Sirius wandering round my room, stopping to tap the glass bottles in wonder and examine the piles and piles of photographs I had scattered around the room untidily, "What's this from?" Padfoot asked, pointing to a group of photo's I'd stuck under my bookshelf.

They were of my tunnel-friends making stupid faces while we all stood in front of my first mural when it was half-way done, I peered at them and felt the smile on my face growing, "That there's my mural, I'm a guerrilla artist,"

"What's a mural… and why are you a monkey artist? Do you only paint monkey's," he asked quizzically.

I rolled my eyes at his lacking knowledge of the Muggle world, "Not that kind of gorilla, I meant it spelt g-u-e-r-r-i-l-l-a, as in a covert operation, but for street art,"

"Oh, yeah you told me this ages ago, back when you thought I was just a dog," He said chuckling.

I scowled and he ceased his laughter, "Anyway… I've been going down there ever since I could remember, just admiring everybody else's murals. There's a community down there, consisting entirely of artists, hippies and Greg, the blind homeless man who tells the greatest stories. People come and go, but the ones who've always been there are Indiana, she's only eighteen but a great painter, she uses lots of symbolism in her art, Marshal who uses chalk to create images on the concrete so real you feel as if you'd fall into them, then there's Ratchet, who seems to be able to play every instrument ever and finally, Sooki and Tran the hippie's, they were part of the organisation of last year's 'Save the Endangered' march," I said proudly.

"How come you never said?" He asked.

I shrugged, "When I'm in the tunnels, I'm Vixen. When I'm with you, I'm Riley. I don't like mixing my two lives around… maybe someday I'll introduce you to them,"

"Fair enough, I wouldn't mind meeting some of your other friends," he grinned, "I can't believe you told them your name was Vixen, like your animagus,"

"Actually, Indiana gave me that nick-name; she says I was small, quick and daring – just like a fox," I smiled happily.

"Well, you animagus _is_ meant to shadow your personality, so it fits," he explained, "But anyway, back to the story,"

I nodded and continued, "The group of them took me under their wings and taught me lots about art and its creation, music, how to play the guitar, their bias opinion on politics, et cetera. It wasn't until I was ten that I decided to fully create my own mural – I'd had the idea stirring around my mind for a while, ever since Sooki and Tran convinced me to sneak off to a protest in London on night about animals in zoo's – my parents only realised I'd gone when they got a one-in-the-morning call from the police asking why their ten-year-old kid was locked up in a cell. Let's just say the 'peaceful protest' turned a little ugly and I got caught in the middle of it all…"

"Are you serious?" he looked at me wild with shock.

I smirked at his surprise, "Yea, I was grounded for months, but that's not important; basically, it inspired me to create my own mural of people in cadges. I found a place in the tunnels the right size and began saving for supplies while I rotted away being grounded and such. It took months, but I eventually had everything I needed and was allowed out of the house again. Every day after school I would go work on it before I came home and then sneak out at night again. I was a few days of completing it, when my suspicious sisters followed me. They had been sneaking out to go to some party and saw me climbing out my window, onto the tree and running away. They decided to follow me, and of course, they discovered what I'd been doing. Too bad I didn't realise they knew until the next morning, when they ratted me out to our parents. Mum and dad ordered for me to show them and clean it all off, because they didn't want their 'sweet, little ten-year-old daughter to get arrested again'. The only person their at the time was Marshal, who was accused of 'leading their daughter astray into a life of crime', he then told then to 'get outa our tunnels, you wankers, Vixen one of us'. That then lead to a fight. Marshal and me against my parents… and so I was banned from ever returning after I finished scrubbing the concrete," I sighed, "Naturally, I returned the next day, but don't tell my folks,"

"Wow, did you ever re-create it?" Sirius asked.

I smiled warmly, "Nah, I already had new ideas swirling around my mind. Maybe one day though," then with a sigh realisation hit me like a cold bucket of water in the morning, "I'm going to miss them when I go,"

"There's always the holidays," Sirius smiled sheepishly.

"I guess,"

There was a comfortable silence as we lay there side by side on the shaggy rug, smiling as we watched the coloured bottles flash lights all over my plan walls.

"What Hogwarts House do you want to get into?" Sirius asked randomly.

"Does it matter?" I contradicted with a nonchalant shrug.

He sat up abruptly, "Of _course_ it _matters_! Your house like you family at Hogwarts, almost _everything _revolves around it!" Padfoot exclaimed.

"Hey, I don't even _know_ the houses, so don't keep looking at me as if I've committed high treason, okay?" I tried to hold back my laugher at the hilariously serious face his was giving me.

"I thought I told you?"

I shook my head, "You were going to, but you got distracted and asked me about how telephones work,"

"Oh," he frowned in thought, "Well, there's Hufflepuff, who are meant to be all altruistic and nice – bunch of hippies if you ask me, you can't really get into Ravenclaw without being exceedingly intellectual and smart, then there's Slytherin, which my family have been in as long as anybody can trace back, but they all think they're above everybody else, so I _really_ don't want to be in Slytherin – I want to be in Gryffindor, which is the opposite of Slytherin… they're all brave and fearless!" I could see the happiness shining in his eyes as he rattled on about Gryffindor and I found myself wishing to be a part of it.

But I didn't really know if I was brave. Sure, I'm not scared of much – I like spiders and heights and small cramped spaces, but did that make me brave? Did it make me fearless? Are bravery and fearlessness even the same thing?

I decided not. Being brave meant facing what your fears and conquering them, but to be fearless was to have no fear, and without fear, what is bravery?

So how could I be brave if I didn't fear?

Or maybe, I just haven't yet found something worth my fear?

And if so, what was it?


	9. Chapter 9: Relatively Neutral News

_I see your shadow on the street now_

_I hear you push through the rusty gate_

_Click of your heels on the concrete_

_Waiting for a knock coming way too late_

_It seems an age since I've seen you_

_Countdown as the weeks trickle into days_

_–Powderfinger 'My Happiness'_

* * *

_Chapter Nine:_

The next two weeks crawled by at a turtles pace, every morning starting by crossing off another square box of my calendar with a black marker the continuing to trudge through the day, waiting for the 1st of September to come, so I could escape my tortures grounding.

On the night of the 29th – only two days before I left – I managed to sneak away, when the full moon was high in the sky. Silently, I shifted into my fox-form, feeling myself shrink down as copper fur grew at inhuman rate across my body and my glasses fused with my face, making eyesight sharpen naturally.

Sticking to the shadows, I made my way deeper into the city of London, racing through backstreets and front yards in complete silence. When I had my target in sight, I discreetly turned back to my human figure. Now, walking down the street I turned into an old alleyway in-between a coffee shop under some apartments and an abandoned townhouse.

Climbing over the old padlocked wrought-iron gate weaved with vines and weeds, I jumped down into a thin lane lit by nothing with but a flickering gas street-lamp, one of the few left untouched by the Second World War, back in the days when gas was in demand and bombs rained down from the sky.

My converse made minimal sound as I walked down the cobblestone back lane – one I'd trodden a million times over – it was dirty, with rubbish rotting in the gutters, left for the rats to clean up, but the stench of aerosol paint in the air was what set it off.

Carefully, I walked down the steep concealed staircase, that couldn't be found unless you knew where to look.

Then, I found myself surrounded by art of many different kinds full of many different messages and meanings. One of the things I loved so deeply about this place.

They were tunnels of creation.

The tunnel one been a section of the London Underground that connected Kings Cross Station, but it caved some ten years ago, and it was deemed unsafe by the city council. All of its other entrances were closed off, except this one.

As far as I knew, I was the youngest of all its inhabitants – out of all of us, we had a pact to keep it quiet, so it wasn't ruined and turned into some kind of druggy hangout like many of the other good street art streets and tunnels in London. If you wanted to put your art in our tunnel, you'd have to find it first.

It smelled musty and damp, as my feet smashed in shallow puddles from the rain a few nights ago. The further I walked, the more the water dried until I turned the corner to see Greg, huddling around his fire pit, eating Thai take-away with chop-sticks, as he always did, sitting next to Ratchet, who sat cross-laggard with his eyes closed strumming a song I hadn't heard before, then pausing the write down a few notes and edit his work.

"'Aven't seen you in a couple weeks, Vixen, how 'av you been keepin'?" The old blind man asked, staring right in front of him, instead of at me with glassy eyes.

"How did you know it was me?" I smiled warmly.

"Little fox has the lightest footsteps," He chuckled to himself.

I don't think I'd ever seen Greg in a bad mood; he always seemed to be smiling giddily like a school-girl. Everybody who knew him knew he was not quite sound in the mind, actually, I'd go far enough to say he's completely insane, although not that it mattered. He often was the one to offer wisdom and advice, that was, if you could find said wisdom and advise in his riddles – the problem was that he very much liked to confuse people, so the riddles and rhymes tended to be tricky.

Nobody knew much about his past, other than the fact that he had a master's degree in Philosophy and went blind in an unfortunate accident when he was in his thirty's – but by that time he was already to disorientated in the cranium to care.

He didn't have any family to name, which is why he kept such close tabs on Indiana, Marshal, Ratchet, Sooki, Tran and I – he considered us his family and treated us like family also, that's why I found it hard to tell him I was leaving, because it worried him when he didn't see on of us for periods of time.

"Ratchet, what the new song called?" I questioned.

"Dunno, it's either 'Dark Luminosity' or something else entirely that I haven't thought of yet," He said cheerfully, pushing his dirty dreadlocks out of his eyes.

"Is anybody else here?" I asked peering down the tunnel.

"Yup," He said, pausing from his playing, "Indiana and Marshal are, but Sooki and Tran are at another meeting for the rally next week,"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course they are…" I muttered, "Anyway, I have news,"

"Good or bad?"

"Neutral."

"There's no such thing! All the news of the world is clearly divided into the groups 'good' and 'bad' and if it's not, then we may as well all descend into anarchy, become wild savages that eat each other and let the chimps rule the world!"

"Drama queen," I snickered.

Ratchet stuck out his tongue at me like a child.

"Sometimes it's really hard to remember that you're twenty-nine," I laughed.

He snorted, "Ageing may be compulsory, but maturing isn't… anyway, what's your 'neutral' news?"

I took in a deep breath, "I'm going to boarding school and I won't be back until Christmas,"

"B-B-But you _can't_ go!" Exclaimed Greg wildly.

"I'm gonna miss you around here, little dudette," Ratchet sighed, while trying to calm Greg and his crazy ramblings with music.

"Sorry Greg, but I gota there. It's school for people who are special, and I'm… special, apparently," I couldn't hide the bitterness I my voice. I couldn't help but feel discontented by the fact I only found out of my magical lineage less than a month ago.

"It's okay; we'll see Vixen at Christmas…" Ratchet smiled and Greg nodded, looking annoyed.

Sighing, I began walking away, needed to tell the others but really dreading it. I knew they'd be disappointed.

"Hey Vixen!" Greg called after me, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"Because all the world is a stage!" I yelled back, it made me feel slightly better.

"Exactly!" He grinned to himself and continued eating his Thai.

I knew that was the answer, he told me so the first time I ever came here and has asked me the question ever since.

The flickering glow of his fire pit faded away, which lead me to turn on my torch. The walls were filled with art, and I could name individually whose they were. Most were Marshal and Indiana's, but there was the small one created by a backpacking German couple who Greg invited down here when he heard them talking about street art while waiting for his Thai food (yes, Greg speaks German… as well as Latin, French, Italian and Spanish, surprisingly) and another by a nameless teenaged boy who would turn up every couple of months and create something spectacular, it took us a while, but soon we realised he was a mute, partly because his art usually consisted of morbid screaming people wearing muzzles and partly because when Indiana tried to talk to him, he opened his mouth to show her that he had no tongue.

Don't ask me where he lost it – I wouldn't have a clue.

I heard the murmurs of Marshal and Indiana in the distance before I noticed the glow of their torches.

"Last time I was here, you were still working on your 'Sky and Mirrors' project, Indi," I smirked, turning to Marshal, "And you were drawling a ladder down to the centre of the earth – I sure have missed a lot,"

"Well, well, well, long time no see, Vixen," Marshal tutted, stroking his cropped beard for affect.

"I've been busy," I spoke slyly.

"Doing what?" Indiana asked with a snort, folding her arms across her chest, with her dirty blond hair tied up in a bun and ripped jeans ruined with paint, "You pretty much finished your last mural and abandoned us!"

I smirked, "I knew you missed me… but I came here to inform you I won't be back until Christmas," I said seriously.

Indi's eyebrow's shot up, "What? Why?"

"Boarding school for special people, or something," I shrugged, not wanting to mention the wizards, witches and magic part of the story.

"Oh…" She looked disappointed – down here, we were practically family and Indi was the artistic elder sister I never had.

Marshal put a firm hand on my shoulder and said with distinction, "Don't let them brainwash you. Stay strong, little fox,"

I laughed and pulled them both into a hug, "I'll be back in a few months, don't use up all the wall space,"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Marshal chuckled.

"And make sure to tell Sooki and Tran I won't be attending any more rally's or protests with them,"

"What do you _mean_ you won't be attending any more rally's or protests with us!" Squawked the voice of Sooki.

I turned to see her questioning face, alongside a confused Tran.

"She's going off to some big bad boarding school and won't be back until term break," Marshal filled them in so I wouldn't have to repeat myself for the third time.

"Did you parents do this? Are they still angry about us getting you arrested, because that was Sooki's fault… ouch," Tran said as she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Nah, I got a letter in the mail," I shrugged.

"It's probably some government conspiracy, what if they take you away and test on you? What aliens sent the letter and–"

I laughed outright, "I'm not being taken away by aliens!" _No, just wizards._

The Asian women looked at me suspiciously, "How do _you_ know?"

"Because, why would they send Vixen a letter, when they could just teleport her away at any time?" Tran rationalized with his fiancé (something only he has the ability to do).

She nodded, "True,"

"Sooki, I don't think Vixen – or anybody – will be getting taken away by Aliens or the government or any other secret organisation working against the human race any time soon," Marshal clarified our odd discussion.

Which he tended to do a lot, it's probably why he's out leader, although it's never been finalized. People just listen to Marshal, and everyone looks up to him. He's also the eldest (apart from Greg, but he was the leader, then I'd be seriously worried for everyone) and – in my opinion – the most mature in a group of exceedingly immature people. At least I'm actually being young, I don't know what Ratchet's excuse is.

"Well, it's almost two in the morning and I'm currently grounded, so I'd better be heading home," I smirked, "See you on the flip-side," I said mysteriously and began walking back the way I came as they called out their farewells.

"Wait, why were you grounded?" Called out Indi at the last minute.

"I bought a ferret!" I yelled back, my voice echoing through the emptiness.

I heard Tran chuckle far away, "Of course you did…"

Re-tracing my steps I came to pass Greg again, this time Ratchet wasn't there. He'd probably gone home, it was quite early.

"See you soon," I waved good bye.

Then, just as I was about the round the corner, Greg uttered something that surprised me entirely.

"Don't forget to owl me," He winked.


	10. Chapter 10: The Castle on the Cliff

**It seem every chapter becomes longer and longer – too much to write, I guess. I've tried to make it as correct as possible, but I'm sorry if I make some mistakes with formalities in the chapter. Anyway, enjoy and please review!**

* * *

_"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed,"_

_–Albert Einstein_

* * *

_Chapter Ten:_

The car ride to the Kings Cross Train Station was a silent one.

Not an awkward silence, or an angry silence – more of the kind of silence that comes when nobody knows what to say.

My parents sat in the two front seats, sparing each other nervous glances that they believed I wouldn't notice, forgetting my unordinary vigilance and eye for detail, that came with both being an artist and a fox.

But they were scared, and I could tell. They were scared because today was the day that they had to face their fears. They had to face the fact that I am a witch and not an ordinary child who belonged in their ordinary world.

I unsettled them.

I unsettled them all.

Even the twins, who sat to either side of me, flinched every time our arms brushed and avoided my eyes as if staring into them would poison them with magic. And yes, they did actually believe this, as I overheard them speaking last night about it.

They didn't understand magic at all.

Well, neither did I, but I knew enough to know that what they thought was impossible.

Or so I hoped.

My father parked the car and we all got out, I loaded my case and Marvin's cage onto the trolley and wheeled it through the entrance.

"Which platform, dear?" My mother asked, sounding deterred and jittery.

"I told you, it says Platform 9¾ is where the Hogwarts train is departing," I pulled out the crumpled note Padfoot wrote me and stuck in our mailbox yesterday.

"And I told you there's no such thing," My father huffed, looking agitated, but I think it was because of how close in proximity he was to Marvin.

Miranda snorted, "Right, and there's also no such thing as witches, wizards and magic either," She said bitterly and it took a while for me to realise she had actually agreed with me... in her own unpleasant sort of way.

"True, maybe we should ask?" Mum suggested.

"If _we_ don't know, how will some _random _know, when they don't even know of the wizard world and its magic train?" Hayley questioned.

Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw an oddly dressed couple wearing pointed hats flanked by a scrawny boy with light brown hair and scars across his face, pushing a trolley with an brown owl in a cadge.

"Let's ask them," I pointed, but my family was too busy bickering to notice what I'd said, so I wandered off towards the strange family alone.

"Excuse me," I interrupted them with a tap on the shoulder, "Do you happen to know where Platform 9¾ is?"

They looked at me oddly, "Of course, is it your first year at Hogwarts?"

I nodded.

"It's Remus's first year also, we're so proud!" The man beamed down at the scrawny boy whose face was fact turning red with embarrassment, "I'm Mr Lupin,"

"Where are your things, dear," The woman asked.

"You see those Muggles bickering over there? That's my family and my trolley," I pointed through the crowd.

"Interesting, maybe you should go get them," She spoke down to me in a way the deeply frustrated me. At least in the tunnels I'm treated as an equal, "Remus, go with her, please,"

He nodded and we walked away.

"Sorry about my parents, they're quite… over protective. It can be annoying at times," He apologised.

"Meh, better than having parents that look at you as if you were some kind of monster," I shrugged, seeming nonchalant.

"I seem to be able to get both."

"Weird."

"I know," He chuckled at some inside joke I didn't understand.

We approached them, "Mother, father and sisters," I addressed my family in turn, "If you would kindly stop fighting and follow me to the Lupin's over there, they have offered to show us where Platform 9¾ is, unless you wish to ditch me here and get it over and done with?"

They stared blankly at my for a second, the decided to follow, not knowing want else to do.

"Hello, I hear it's your daughters first year at Hogwarts?" Mrs Lupin beamed.

"Y-yes," my mother managed to croaked, she looked so bewildered and confused, it was almost comical.

They showed us through the crowd until we stopped, standing in-between Platforms 9 and 10.

"Okay, it's right through there," Mr Lupin pointed to a plain red brick archway.

"Right through where?" My father asked.

"Right through the wall. You have to get a good run at it, but it's as easy enough!" he explain.

I had to run through a wall? Why did it not tell me anything in my letter about running through walls?

"Okay, Remus you go," His mother gave him a quick shove, "Be good, write us lots of letters – at least once a month with an update on… well, you know,"

Sure enough, Remus disappeared through the bricks without a sound. It was amazing. It was wonderful.

It was magic.

"Alright, now you, dearie," Mrs Lupin smiled warmly at me, the kind of smile I don't think I'd ever seen on my mother's face directed at me.

I turned to my family, they all stood with shocked looks plastered on their faces, "Well, bye," I waved.

"See ya' later, Squirt," Miranda and Hayley smirked.

"Be good," Was all my parents said, their lips pressed together into thin lines.

Their behaviour was what I had expected.

So why did it hurt so much?

Then, with a tight smile, I broke into a sprint, growing closer and closer and closer to the wall with ever stride. I squinted my eyes shut and waiting for the impact, but instead, I kept running, disappearing from sight through the bricks.

It was the most unusual feeling, almost like when I teleported to Diagon Alley, but quicker and less thrilling, sadly.

Looking behind me, I expected a brick wall, but instead there was a wrought iron archway, and overhead hung a sign reading; _Hogwarts Express, Eleven O'clock_.

As I walked I coughed on the engine smoke that drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats slyly wound between their legs. Owls in cages hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.

I saw that the first few carriages were full, as many children were hanging out the window yelling the last goodbye's.

It seemed that in the commotion I'd lost Remus and his parents, so I blindly push my way through the crowd towards the end of the train.

Finding an empty compartment wasn't easy, neither was trying to lift my luggage over the steps. It also didn't help when somebody randomly puts their hands over your eyes from the back.

"Guess who?" Asked a badly disguised voice.

"Sirius, instead of trying to trick me – why don't you help me instead?" I smiled at seeing him and pulled him into a hug.

"Ugh, _Riley_, men don't hug!" Padfoot whined, as he hugged me back. Hypocrite.

"I don't care," I grinned mischievously.

Together we managed to get all of our things tucked away inside the compartment.

We sat down with a sigh, and just when we thought it was all over, the door slid open, "Could I sit in here with you? Everywhere else is packed already…" Asked a boy with square glasses and a mop of shaggy black hair that seemed to shoot off in a million different directions all at once.

"Sure," I shrugged, "I'm Riley, Riley O'Conner,"

"I'm Sirius Black and you are…" he trailed off.

"Oh, yeah my name's James. James Potter actually," he grinned as he sat down, "Can't wait until we get sorted, right?"

"Defiantly, although I would probably run away if I were to be sorted into Slytherin," Sirius stated quite seriously.

"Then what house do you want?" Asked James.

"Gryffindor," Sirius said straight away, no doubt in his mind.

"And you?" he asked me curiously.

I beamed, "Same,"

Suddenly, I felt the train begin to roll away. Looking out the window, I could see Sirius's parents standing there, with grimaces on their faces.

Did they not understanding the concept of happiness? Or smiling?

"Sirius, aren't you going to say goodbye to your family?" I asked softly.

"Nope, good riddance to them all!" He spoke bitterly and I rolled my eyes.

On the other hand, James managed to stick his head out the window.

"Don't get expelled, try not to have too many detentions, and for the _love of god_, brush you hair!" A woman, who I suspected to his mother, cried out from the platform.

"I'm not making any promises!" He yelled back, grinning madly.

* * *

At around half past twelve, there was a strange racket in the corridor "Anything from the trolley?" Asked a middle aged women, as she pulled back our door.

Padfoot was a sleep, snoring softly curled up in a ball on the seat next to me, so I decided it wouldn't be best to wake him up.

My rumbling stomach ordered me to stand up, but I didn't know what any of the food was.

"A Pumpkin Pasty and two Chocolate Frogs, please," Asked James, handing over three sickles and getting four knuts in return.

Then the lady turned to me, "And you dear?"

"Um, I'll take the same… actually, maybe another Pasty for when my friend here wakes up," I requested and she handed the food over. Then, digging into my pocket, I pulled out four sickles and placed them in her hand, "Thank you,"

Then with a warm smile, she moved on.

I placed Sirius's pasty next to his head and began eating.

"So how long have you known him? 'Cause it's obvious that you haven't just met," James spoke with a mouthful of pumpkin.

"He lives across the street from me and has been my best friend since I was eight. I didn't know he was a wizard, well, not until he told me when he saw an owl deliver my letter about a month ago on my birthday," I shrugged, taking a bite. It tasked much like pumpkin pie, but sweeter.

"Cool, so far you two are the only ones I know, wait no, there was some Peter kid who kept bugging me earlier," he frowned.

Then I heard a moan, "Do I smell pumpkin?" said Sirius's groggy voice.

"Beside your head, Padfoot," I rolled my eyes and laughed.

He sat up, "Oh, thanks, I'll play you back…"

I waved him off, "Consider it a thanks you for taking me to Diagon Alley with your family,"

"You shouldn't be thanking me for making you spend time with _my family_," He chuckled harshly.

James looked puzzled, "Don't you like your family?"

He snorted, "They're a bush of pompous Slytherin's who believe themselves better than the rest,"

"Andi's not like that, she may be a Slytherin, but she a nice one," I added.

"Well, all except her, then… and maybe my Uncle Alphard," he drifted off into thought.

James turned to me, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"He's asking about your family, Vix," Padfoot rolled his eyes and I punched him in the arm.

"They're muggles who don't like magic, but they're trying…" I sigh.

Sirius squished up his face as if he's eaten a sour lemon, "I don't like the twins, they give me funny looks all the time,"

"That's because every time the telephone rings, you jump five feet in the air and hide behind the couch," I pointed out matter-of-factly, "Plus, your family hates my guts, especially after the hiding-under-the-bed incident,"

He laughed, "You need to learn not to patronize and condescend people older than you, it generally annoys them, and then I get into trouble for it,"

"Why do you think I do it?" I smiled slyly.

"I hate you," Sirius grumbled.

"Love you too, Padfoot," I grinned cheekily.

James was just staring at us, mixed expressions on his face, "You two are strange…"

"We know," The both of us said in sync.

Suddenly, our door slid open revealing a girl with startling green eyes and long red hair in two pigtails next to a pale, grimacing boy with a crocked nose and oily black hair.

"Hello, my names Lilly and this is my friend Severus. Have you by any chance seen the Carrow twins? They stole our wands!" Said the girl, looking extremely angry.

"Sorry, but we haven't," I said, feeling quite sorry for them.

James snorted, "Betcha their Slytherin,"

"And what's _that _supposed to mean?" Questioned Severus harshly.

"Everybody knows that Slytherin's the house for dark wizards," Sirius jeered.

Severus looked like he was about to explode, "Just because Slytherins are ambitious, doesn't mean their evil!"

"There's nothing wrong with any of the houses, and I happen to _want _to get into Slytherin," Snapped Lily.

"You can't be serious!" James began laughing, which didn't help the situation.

"I bet your going to all end up in Hufflepuff!" Severus goaded.

"We are not! We're going to be in Gryffindor!" I couldn't help but add.

Severus snorted, "The house of the kittens? What a shame…"

"You know what? If I see the Carrow twins, I'll tell them to keep your wands!" My comment was directed mostly at Severus and not at Lily, since she really didn't insult anybody, "No leave us alone!"

Then I slammed the door in their faces, "Good riddance!" I huffed as I sat down, arms folded across my chest.

"You really do have a temper, don't you?" James giggled – he seemed to find our situation hilarious.

"Oh believe me, she does," Padfoot laughing along with him and I stuck my tongue out to the both of them.

"You're infuriating…" I sighed.

* * *

It was night when the train pulled up at the station. The other students pushed their way towards the doors in an eager attempt out of the stuffy carriages they'd been stuck inside for the day.

The three of us were practically pushed out the door and onto the dimly lit platform by the wave of other kids and that's when I spotted Remus again, looking frustrated as he spoke to a small pudgy buy with blond hair and buck-teeth.

"C'mon, guys," I forcibly dragged both Sirius and Padfoot towards them.

I tapped Remus of the shoulder, "Hello again,"

He looked startled at first, then relieved, "Oh, it's you Riley," he smiled weakly.

"Do you know where we're meant to be?" I questioned.

"Someday will you approach me for something other than directions?" He joked, "And I think it's this way, Peter and I are following him,"

Remus pointed to a ginormous man with a wild beard, who looked to be in his early twenties who was calling all the first years to follow.

"Who're your friends?" he asked me, peering over my shoulder.

"That's James Potter and Sirius Black," I pointed to them in turn.

They smiled awkwardly and babbled greetings, "Nice to meet you, I'm Remus Lupin and this is Peter Pettigrew,"

"And I'm Riley!" I shouted for no reason at all, "Now we're all introduced, can we please _go_!" I ushered them along as the giant man was fast disappearing into the distance through the trees.

Together we stumbled our way down the steep and slippery path. The tree's overhead blocked out the sky and the light of tonight's half-moon, which Remus kept glancing at nervously as it were about to fall out of the sky and crush him dead.

He was defiantly an odd child.

Soon we rounded the bend where the trees opened up near the bank of the lake and joined with the rest of the group – most of which were already on boats and headed across towards the majestic and vast castle with countless turrets and towers, perched high on the rocky cliff with the starry night sky as a backdrop.

Quickly, I clamed my jaw shut as I realized it had been hanging open.

"Well c'mon you lot!" Called over the grand man and we scrambled down to the docks. We were the last to arrive.

"I'm Hagrid, the Gamekeeper of Hogwarts," he said with obvious pride, "What's yer' names?"

"I'm James and that's Sirius, Riley, Remus and Peter," He spoke up.

Hagrid pressed his lips together into a troubled line, "I'm only supposed to let four on each boat… but I guess you're a scrawny lot, well, most a' ya'," He eyed Peter, who didn't seem to notice, "Hop on in, the lot a' ya' together,"

We did so and he gave us a mighty push of the bank and we were off, gliding across the water which sparkled under the moonlight.

It didn't take long to cross and right before the first boats were about to crash into the cliff face, Hagrid yelled out from behind us, "Duck yer' 'eads down!"

They obeyed and disappeared through a curtain of ivy.

Soon it was our turn to duck through the entrance as we were carried through a dark and damp tunnel underneath Hogwarts.

I couldn't help but grin at the wonder of it all, and I could see the other were the same. For the first time in my life I had been stunned speechless.

It didn't take long for us to reach the underground pebbled harbour which we clambered out of, following Hagrid up the slippery stone steps until we emerged out at the foot of the castle.

"Everyone 'ere?" He asked the crowd of first years, then turned to knock thrice on the grand oak door.

It swung open at once, revealing a tall, young witch with sleek black hair wearing emerald robes and a stern look on her face.

"Good evening, professor McGonagall," Hagrid greeted her cheerfully.

"I'll take them from here Hagrid, thank you," She spoke with a regal voice that commanded respect, "This way First Years," the Professor beckoned.

We followed her inside and into the grand entrance hall, a room larger than any other I'd ever seen and to high that I couldn't quite make out the ceiling.

We approached another large double-door and I could hear the murmuring of the rest of the school inside, but Professor McGonagall stopped abruptly before we could enter.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall, "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room.

"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honour. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours," She relayed the speech as if she'd spoken it a million times over.

"Now if you would please follow me, the Sorting Ceremony will be beginning momentarily,"

And with that she turned and pushed open the doors, revealing a room bigger than the Entrance Hall and far more mystical also. The first thing I realised was that there was no ceiling, or that there was, but it didn't look anything like any ceiling I'd seen before – it looked as if somebody had taken a piece of the sky and placed it there atop the pillars and to tell the truth… it was beautiful.

I found myself wishing for my camera, so I could capture the moment and keep it forever.

The teachers sat at the high table looking down upon the student, who were separated onto four different tables – one for each house I presumed – and each table was laden with glittering golden plates, cutlery and goblets, then above all our heads danced floating candles.

"I wish I could paint this…" I whispered to myself, still staring in awe.

The Students gathered at the foot of the High Table and Professor McGonagall took her place.

I found myself staring – along with the rest of my fellow first years – at the small wooden, but that wasn't what had caught my attentions, but more so the old and battered pointed-hat sitting on top of it.

For a few moments, there was complete silence, as everybody awaited what would happen next… not that I had any idea. Then, it began twitching and a rip around the brim opened like some sort of mouth and surprisingly – out of all the things I had and hadn't expected – it began to sing!

_"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see,_

_I'll eat myself if you can find,_

_A smarter hat than me,_

_You can keep your bowlers black,_

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat,_

_And I can cap them all,_

_There's nothing hidden in your head,_

_The Sorting Hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you,_

_Where you ought to be,_

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry,_

_Set Gryffindors apart,_

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,_

_And unafraid of toil,_

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you've a ready mind,_

_Where those of wit and learning,_

_Will always find their kind,_

_Or perhaps in Slytherin,_

_You'll make your real friends,_

_Those cunning folk use any means,_

_To achieve their ends,_

_So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

_Because I don't get in a flap!_

_You're in safe hands (though I have none),_

_For I'm a Thinking Cap!"_

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song, but I just stood there confused. It bowed to each of the four tables, the high table and then became quite still again.

"So that's it? We try on a hat?" I whispered in Sirius's ear. I guess I'd though it would be something more… difficult… but then again, what did I know?

"Apparently," he shrugged seeming not to care. I suppose growing up in the Wizarding World made he used to strange anomalies such as this.

Professor McGonagall stood again to address us, "When you name is call, please step up to the stool for sorting," then she paused to read off her list, "Vance, Emmeline,"

Then a squatty girl with plaited hair and puffy cheeks stepped up. There was a moment of consideration before the Sorting Hat announced, "HUFFLEUFF!" to the crowd and the table to the right erupted into applause as Emmeline hoped off the stool to join their ranks.

"Potter, James,"

I glanced to my left where James was standing; he gulped and advanced the stairs, sitting down on the stool calmly. The hat didn't take long choosing his house either, and swiftly shouted, "GRYFFENDOR!" to which James grinned manically and ran off to join them.

"Greenhill, Alice,"

This girl looked sharp, with light spiky hair and a witty smile. The hat had barely touched the crown of her head before it yelled, "RAVENCLAW!" and she skipped off merrily towards her new house table.

"Snape, Severus,"

I couldn't help but scowl as I watched him sit down. The hat stewed for a second before it announced "SLYTHERIN!" and he made his way toward the far table where he was greeted by a bunch of sly-looking people.

"Lupin, Remus,"

The poor kid looked terrified, but he walked up anyway. A sign of bravery? Maybe, but it didn't matter, as the hat yelled out, "GRYFFINDOR!" quite rapidly and I witnessed relief wash over his face.

There were a few more after Remus. Another was added into Hufflepuff, three more to Ravenclaw, a couple of sly boys and girls were announced as Slytherins, but apart from James and Remus, none more had been taken in by Gryffindor – perhaps out year was a particular cowardly one.

"Black, Sirius,"

With a nervous glance towards me as he pushed through the dwindling crowd and sat down on the stool. I could see Andi in my peripheral vision sitting at the Slytherin table, biting her lip in anticipation, just as I was. The Sorting Hat took longer for him that most of the others, but in the end, the hat made its decision, shouting "GRYFFINDOR!" through the Great Hall. As he walked towards his new table and house, I could see the surprised murmurings on the Slytherin table and Andi's shocked expression.

There was a pause.

"O'Conner, Riley,"

My breath hitched and heart thumped in my chest so violently I was surmised it wasn't protruding from my person.

_Be brave_, I told myself.

Then, with a sudden burst of confidence, I strutted right up to the stood and let the Sorting Hat be placed on my head.

_Hmm, you have wit and smarts, girl,_ a croaking voice said inside my mind and I flinched, _Ravenclaw would suit you… but no, I sense great bravery in your heart… and loyalty… so it must be…_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	11. Chapter 11: Mutual Dislike

_"All those who offer an opinion on any doubtful point should first clear their minds of every sentiment of dislike, friendship, anger or pity,"_

_–Sallust _

* * *

_Chapter Eleven:_

By the end of the sorting, Gryffindor had gained thirteen new additions, one of which was Lily Evens, the unpleasant girl from the train – who looked shocked as anything by the result, but not as shocked as her Slytherin friend, Snape.

Throughout the feast – gathering from a mix of stories told by other students and his own speech that left me with more questions than answers – I managed to gain an abundant respect for Dumbledore. He proved, by far, my theory that to be knowing and wise, you first must become completely insane.

But still, by the end, I was utterly exhausted, and so with a full stomach and drooping eyelids, I along with the rest of the Gryffindor's followed a cheerful boy named Fabian Prewett – who I was informed was a Prefect – out of the Great Hall.

"Wonder where the Gryffindor common room is?" Sirius bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly, "I know where the Slytherin common room is, my family told me, since they expected me to become a Slytherin and all… aren't you exited Riley?"

I yawned, "Yep,"

"You don't look exited?"

"Well, I'm also tired," I clarified.

He grinned madly, "Well, I'm not!"

"I can see that,"

He seemed to miss my blunt sarcasm and continued on his ramblings, I don't think I'd seen him so hyper in all my life, "I can't wait to see our rooms, I wonder who I'll be with? Did you see–"

Suddenly, the girl in front of me stoped, causing me to walk right into them, "Sorry," I muttered sheepishly.

Craning my neck over her shoulder, I saw we had all stoped outside a painting of a women in a pink silk dress, "Password?" The moving portrait asked.

"_Veritatem_," Fabian whispered and held the door open as a stream of Gryffindor's poured into the common room.

I felt myself be pushed and shoved by older, taller kids through the opening in the wall, but managed to keep a grip on Sirius's wrist as we jumped to the side and out of the way, itching to get to their rooms and unpack.

"They really need to think of expanding that door…" Sirius muttered and I agreed.

Once everybody was inside, most of the older students had dispersed, leaving the first years standing awkwardly in a small group.

"Okay, the boys dorms are up the left staircase and the girls are to the right," Fabian explained, "You things will be waiting for you,"

The realisation suddenly hit me that, so far, every friend I've made had been a boy (Sirius, James, Lupin…) and I had absolutely no idea who I'd be sharing a room with. I never really had many friends in my life, most kids at school strayed away from me. They feared me,_ well_, actually it was more so my temper, which when provoked, blazed fiery-hot like the sun. I may have been small, scrawny and gangly looking child, but I was quick, with bones like a bird and an attitude as sharp as a razor, but it was my overall strangeness that seemed to attract the torment of my fellow classmates, who soon realised I was not to be messed with.

Still, there were always the ones who got a kick out of seeing me get so angry – they would hide my books and pull my hair and snicker whenever I made contribution in class – which always ended with me jumping up for an attack, from which I was swiftly sent to the principal's office.

And, I guess I gained a reputation.

Every new kids at school would start of the same –naïve and unknowing – until the other children got to them with their whispers – some true, most untrue and the rest over exaggerations of the truth that had been twisted, gnarled and distorted with every new voice that passed the story along.

'_Oh, don't go near the O'Conner girl, she'll bite your head off for even saying hello'_

'_Once Riley attacked me simply because I looked into her eyes'_

'_I heard she lives in an attic and talks to the bats'_

'_Almost as insane as her grandmother'_

'_She's too weird'_

'_Too creepy'_

'_Too strange'_

And so, they became as brainwashed as the rest of the kids, before I even got a chance to prove my worth. I was excluded from most games on the playground, which left me with nothing better to do than read or join in the football games that took place most days with the elder student, who didn't seem to care. They didn't really know me.

The only girls I'd ever known are my sisters, Sooki and Indiana – who are all eighteen or older. The only person my age that was my friend back then, I'd thickly mistaken for a _dog_ for three years!

I didn't know how to make friends! I'd never done it before, although it seems I am graciously gifted in the art of chasing people away!

How is it, that when I try to make friends I scare them, and when I don't need friends I make them accidentally, just as it happened with Sirius and my fellow tunnel dwellers?

It didn't make _sense_!

"Are you okay, Riley?" Sirius asked, seeing the sour expression on my face.

I yawned, "Yeah… I'll see you in the morning. Good night,"

"Right back at ya'," He grinned and followed the rest of the boys.

Being the last one left in the common room, I took in a deep breath and advanced the stairway, then I followed the hallways until I found the one with my name on it, along with four others my tired eyes couldn't be bother reading.

When I opened the door I saw three of them were asleep, while one sat in her bed with a book in her hand.

"Oh, it's you," She said bitterly, looking up from her page.

"Yeah, it's me," I scowled at none other than Lily Evans herself, "Don't get up and celebrate or anything…" I goaded.

"What are you doing here?" She asked stiffly.

"Breathing, standing, digesting…" I muttered tiredly.

"I meant why are you in _this_ room," She demanded, looking annoyed.

"I live here now," Was my blunt reply, "You must be _so glad_ to be in Gryffindor," I smirked.

She put down her book, frowning deeply, "What's your problem? You know I wanted to be in Slytherin, why do you have to be such a hag about it!"

I shrugged, "Hey, I'm just wondering why you'd rather be a snake then a lion?"

"Slytherin's not bad! I just don't realise why…" She drifted off, but I understood the meaning.

I snorted, "Because, Slytherin values blood purity over all else and it's pretty easy to pick you as a muggle-born… there was no way you'd get in…"

For some reason, it felt good that I wasn't the most oblivious one in the room anymore – I was truly thankful for Sirius and Andromeda's lecturing over the past two weeks of the holidays.

She looked deflated, "W-what? How'd you know I'm muggle-born? And all that stuff about the Slytherin's… it can't be true?"

I shrugged, "Well, for one, I'm muggle-born and two, I live across the road from one of the most agonisingly muggle-hating, pure-blood family ever. Been Slytherin's since the Middle Ages," I paused and added with a sly smile, "Their son is my best friend, Sirius Black,"

The confusion washed across her face, "One of the boys from the train? The one with the glasses…"

"Nah, that's James, we meet him today," I grinned.

"I don't like him,"

"I'm not surprised,"

"He's cocky,"

"That he is," I laughed, "But I'm not too fond of your friend either? What's his name? Snivels?"

"Severus," She corrected automatically, "And he is nice… deep down,"

I laughed bitterly, "_Very_ deep down,"

Her face screwed up, "Ugh, can you go five minutes without insulting somebody?" Lily sneered.

"Nope," I smirked, "Can you go five minutes without acting stubborn and uptight?"

She groaned, rolling over to go uniform to sleep, "To hell with you, then,"

"And all the way back," I muttered under my breath, blowing out the candle on my nightstand and collapsing into bed – still wearing my school robes.

And so from then on, we kept a mutual agreement that, neither of us liked the other and neither of us cared.

* * *

**Now, I am aware that the Marauders didn't become Animagi (well, all but poor Lupin) until later on in their Hogwarts schooling life, but since this site is for **_**Fan**_**Fiction, I have the right to do whatever I please with my writing and if you don't like my intentional incorrect-ness, then deal with it!**

**Sorry for my annoying ranting.**

**Also, 'veritatem' means 'truth' in Latin, or so Google Translate told me.**

**O_o**


	12. Chapter 12: The Metamorphmagus

_"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is,"_

_–Yogi Berra_

* * *

_Chapter Twelve:_

Good thing I was already wearing my uniform when I woke up, because I managed to sleep in.

It seemed that nobody thought to wake me when I slept through the alarm, so when my eyes finally did flash open in panic, I had to prevent a small heart attack until I remembered yesterday's events.

_I was at Hogwarts. I was in Gryffindor. I was late for breakfast._

So, in a flash I leapt out of bed, looking dishevelled and manic, flinging open my trunk I pulled out my books, "Which ones do we need?" I asked desperately.

"_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection _and _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_," She looked at me disapprovingly as she opened to door, "You'd better hurry up, or you'll miss breakfast," then she left me alone in the room.

With a groan, I collected the books and slammed my trunk shut, as if this were its fault. As I went to leave, I spotted myself in the mirror.

Truly, I looked like a mess; my uniform all wrinkled and my curly copper hair was tied in a sloppy bun, with my bags falling into my amber eyes.

So with a shrug, I left and bounded down the stairs. I'd never given much thought towards my appearance, usually I just picked out many different items of clothing that I liked and wore them – it didn't matter if they matched or not, that was an irrelevant point. All I needed of them was to be easy to climb and run in, then I was happy.

But in my rush, I didn't see where I was going, and in turn I ran into somebody, sending both our books flying.

"I'm so sorry!" Said a voice that I recognised to be Remus's.

"It's alright; I was the one who wasn't looking,"

He gave me a hand up and we picked up our books, "How did you sleep?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

Remus gave me a shaky smile, "A-Alright, you?"

I laughed lightly, "Like the dead,"

He started at me with a look of bemusement, "I-I don't think they sleep… they're d-dead,"

I cocked an eyebrow, "Right. I think we best get to breakfast, where are James and Sirius?" I asked.

"I told them to go ahead without me, I had to… do a couple of things," He shifted uneasily.

"C'mon then," I grinned and we began walking.

It took us a while, but together we managed to remember the way back to the Great Hall. By then breakfast was well under way, and I could see the other two eagerly waving us over – luckily they'd saved us spots or we'd be crammed up the end.

"What took you so long?" James asked with a mouth full of scrambled egg.

I shrugged, "Shenanigans,"

"Of course, I wouldn't expect any less from you," Sirius nodded in understanding.

Grinning, I took my seat beside him and reached for some toast, "So how was your first night in the castle?" He asked me.

"I'm sharing a dorm with that Lily girl, who seems about as pleasant as a poisons snake's bite and some other girls, who I haven't really met yet," I shrugged.

"Well _that_ must suck," James furrow bent, "You should dress like a boy and sleep in our room – I mean, you name _is_ Riley… that's a boy's name also, right?"

"As, uh… tempting… as that offer may be, I don't think it's possible," I smiled slightly to myself.

"You could always hex her," Offered Sirius, "Make her nose drop off or something,"

"Padfoot, I would have a clue on how to do that, although I wouldn't mind…" I drifted off.

Remus stared strangely at us, "Padfoot? Where'd that nickname come from?" he questioned.

"Oh, that's the name I gave him when I first met him, as an anim–" I was silenced as Sirius cupped a hand around my mouth, giving me a stern look.

I decided that maybe, it wasn't wise to mention his second form, "You do not need to retell that story, Riley… it was embarrassing enough when it happened," He lied fluently.

I licked his hand, so sharply pulled it away, "Ugh, wet!"

"Serves you right," I smirked mischievously at him.

He rolled his eyes and I pocked my tongue out at him.

"Hey look, mails here!" James brightened up, just as his owl swooped down and dropped off a newspaper.

Then, I saw Mischief circle us and dive, letting a scarlet letter fall onto the table. Sirius immediately stiffened and the people around us started staring at him.

"That's not a Howler, is it?" Remus asked suspiciously.

Sirius nodded, not breaking eye contact with it.

Remus cringed and gave him ma sympathetic look, "Well, you'd better open it… bad things happen when you just leave 'em, might as well get it over and done with,"

"What the hell is a Howler?" I asked.

"Just watch," James muttered under his breath to me as Sirius broke the blood-red seal.

The letter shaped itself into a vulture-like face, with an expression that was positively livid.

"GRYFFINDOR? _GRYFFINDOR?_ AT FIRST I HOPED IT TO BE A TRIFLING JOKE, BUT NOW I KNOW DIFFERENTLY! HOW _DARE_ YOU DISGRACE THE HOUSE OF BLACK IN SUCH A MANOR! THE HORROR! THE _SHAME_! IT'S POSITIVLY HORENDOUS, THAT YOU NOT BE ACCEPTED INTO SLYTHERIN! WHAT OF OUR FOREFATHERS?" The shrill of her voice had reached insane octane levels, "YOUR GRANDFATHER WOULD BE _TURNING IN HIS GRAVE_ IF HE KNEW! DON'T YOU DARE SHOW YOU FACE AT CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, YOU'RE NOT _WELCOME_!" Then, the letter combusted into nothing but ash.

Then, after the shock on Padfoot's face dyed away, he began howling with laughter, "She… thinks… I would _want_… to come home?… Best… day… ever!" Then he turned to grin widely at me, "Guess I'm going to be spending a blissful Christmas here with you, Vix,"

I smiled wearily, shaking my head to try and calm the ringing in my ears.

"I… I think we'd better get to class…" Remus started and we collected out books, getting ready to leave for class as they started in less than twenty minutes and we didn't have much of an idea to where we were going.

"Who are we with?" Asked James.

At first I was confused by the query, but then Remus quickly answered, "Defence Against the Dark Arts with Slytherin, then Transfiguration with Ravenclaw,"

As we walked through the echoing halls of the castle, I couldn't help but feel a small buzz inside my stomach, like somebody had set sparks inside me and they'd gown into a small flickering flame of excitement in my chest. A feeling that grew with every step I took closer to my first class.

Sirius must have noticed as he kept giving me strange looks, "Why are you smiling like that," He said slowly, a note of suspicion in his voice.

To which I answered with a blinding grin, "Oh, just happy to be alive,"

"Right."

Soon, we came across what we presumed to be the right door and pushed it open. Inside a few students where already seated, turned their heads towards us, but quickly lost interest. The only one who remained to glare at us was Snape, who sat next to Evens up the front, giving me a particularly sour look. What was wrong with the girl?

We took the seats in the back corner, Remus and I sitting next to each other, in front of James and Sirius, who sat together in the very last row.

Within a few minutes, the class had filled with students, who were all whispering in gleeful anticipation.

Suddenly the door burst open and a man in his fifties with an amused expression on his face strode up to the front of the classroom. Everybody immediately hush into a still silence.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts? A long title for a class, eh?" He surveyed the students, talking time to inspect each one, "But a necessary subject, still… I am Professor Gorlanian and I wish to be addressed as such from now until the very end of your schooling days,"

He was quite a stubby and squat man, with ragged robes covered in patch-ups and holes. His hair was thin, grey and balding, but there was a twinkle in his watery blue eyes that suggested a bountiful youth at heart.

"Now, many of you may have many different perceptions on what darks arts are, and some won't have any idea at all, but my first lesson today is that everybody in this room is capable of one day snapping out their wands and bewitching you into oblivion. Never trust that you are safe. Never trust that the people around you are who you see… understood?" His eyes scanned us, as if looking for flickers of fear.

There were several nods around the class.

Then, suddenly snapping out of his paranoia, he said most joyously, "But the likeliness of that is quite slim, as I'm sure you are all quite descent wizards who would never think to kill their neighbours for a knut or two…"

From here the lesson continued, and I began taking notes to keep up with his ramblings. Sharing an mutually uneasy look with Remus, I began to smile.

I found it… fun. It was much better than sitting through tedious classes of Maths and English in an ordinary Muggle school back home, although completely baffling, the idea's his tremendously confusing speech spored, broadened my mind to the possibilities of magic.

Before this, I hadn't given much thought to exactly _what _I'd be learning, it was more the fact that I was learning magic I the first place that had held my attention, but now I couldn't help but wonder about its many… possibilities.

Eventually the hour ended and we were off towards our next class; Transfiguration.

"Well that was a load of rubbish," Sirius frowned sourly when we walked out.

I started at him in surprise, "Really? I found it quite fascinating, really,"

He shrugged, "I just can't wait until I can actually use my wand, I tried a little last night, but all I did was set fire to my socks,"

"I… I'm not even going to ask," I sighed, as I pushed the door to the Transfiguration classroom open.

Professor McGonagall stood with a stern look on her face – the kind that demanded respect – and emerald green robes was already standing up the front of the class room, watching us file in with the eyes of a hawk. Her thoughts were impossible to read, as her expression may as well have been cast in stone.

The Ravenclaws were already seated, which forced the four of us to scatter into the remaining seats. I ended up sitting next to a sharp liking girl with short spikey hair.

"What's your name?" I asked the girl as I sat down, "I'm Riley, Riley O'Conner,"

"I know," She smiled wittily, "I saw you during the Sorting Ceremony. I'm Alice Greenhill, by the way,"

We didn't really talk after that, as the Professor McGonagall began the lesson imminently, with far less fumbling around compared to Professor Gorlanian.

"Transfiguration is the art of transfiguring matter of a certain mould into another that's completely different and by the time I've finished with you, you should be able to turn shoes into shackles and gargoyles into gnomes without such as a second glance… but this does not mean it is by any way a simple subject, so I expect you full attention at all times," She paused, pursing her lips together into a thin line, "Any questions?"

There were none, so she continued.

"Today, I'd thought we start with a practical, although I don't expect any of you to succeed, I want to you to understand that it not at all simple, so, everybody please take a pin and we'll try to transfigure them into matchsticks,"

When we had collected them, we sat down again with our wands at the ready, "Now tap it and say _needle to match_, and make sure to concentrate hard. Imagine that the needle it truly a match, as if a match if sitting there in front of you in its place,"

Then, with a wave of her wand, her example needle levitated into the air and with a swift tap, ripped into a match, "Now you try,"

The room erupted into an uneven chorus of hopeless trials. I stared curiously at the needle in front of me, "Needle to match," I said plainly and did as instructed.

Nothing happened.

I repeated the process ten times over, but it remained a needle. Once it seemed to quiver, but I think that's just because I was yelling. I could see other students getting frustrated around me also, especially Alice, who seemed to be glaring sourly at her needle.

"Needle to match. Needle to match. _Needle to match_!" I yelled at the tinny pin, letting my fierce temper get the better of me, "NEEDLE TO MATCH!"

"R-Riley… your hair…" Alice started wide eyed at me.

I pulled my curly bangs in front of my eye, only to see my hair had turned red, but not the normal ginger kind of red – I meant bright red like fire.

By now Professor McGonagall had noticed the disturbance and had walked over to inspect.

"Miss O'Conner, I'd like you to follow me please," She instructed strictly.

With a gulp, I stood to follow her. From across the room Sirius caught my eye, he stared at me with his head cocked to the side in confusion but I shrugged in response, not knowing what was going one either.

"I shall be back shortly, please continue trying while I'm gone and if any of you so much as put a toe out of line, it'll be fifty points," Then she closed the door and lead me outside.

I followed her silently, the only sound coming from the echoing clicking of our shoes on the marble floor down the corridor.

Suddenly she stopped outside a set of doors and pushed them open, "Please take a seat," She ordered and sat down opposite her desk.

"I-I didn't mean it…" I started but she stopped me before I could apologise any further.

"I have been formed you are the daughter of… Esmeralda Bonechild, is this true?" Her cold eyes burned into me.

I stared at her in confusion, "Yes, but how is that relev–"

"She was what we call in the wizard world a metamorphmagus, or a shape-shifter. They can change their form at will, and I believe you may have inherited the gene,"

"B-But I've never done that before…" I whispered, slightly taken aback by what she'd said.

"There are certain potions that… supress… a metamorphmagus's abilities,"

My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion she was making, "My parents didn't know I was a witch, let alone… whatever you just said… how could they've… but they…" But even I could hear the note of uncertainty in my voice.

But… it made sense. I'd always silently accepted the fact that there wasn't any pictures of me around the house. No baby pictures of my in a crib. No stupid photos of me on my birthday. Nothing.

"I'm sorry, Miss O'Connor, but I'm afraid it is true…" She said, the tone of her voice warm, "Still, I believe it'd be in your _best interests_ to meet me, every Wednesday after lessons, right here in my office,"

Then she stood up, strutted across the room and opened the door.

"But why?" I asked, baffled.

A sly smile spread across her lips, "Because, every talent needs mastering… we don't want any more slip ups like today, do we Miss O'Conner?"

I nodded and she left, leaving me to think.


	13. Chapter 13: A Foxy Anomaly

**Ugh! I'm sooo sorry for not updating, I've just been so overworked with school and I've had hardly any time to write! But anyway, you probably don't want to hear me grovelling, so on with the story.**

* * *

_"Raw skill means nothing without proper guidance and final mastery,"_

* * *

_Chapter Thirteen:_

"But you're an animagus not a metamorphmagus, and you can't be both, that's biological and magically _impossible_," Sirius stared at me with the look of sheer perplexity.

"Then maybe, I was never an animagus in the first place and I've been a metamorphmagus the entire time!" I sighed in frustration, falling back onto his bed.

"Only an extremely powerful and practised metamorphmagus could fully transform into a completely different species, and didn't you say your parents had you drugged on potions for your entire life?"

"Yeah, but the potions didn't _block_ my power, they made me not _want_ it, made me _forget_ it… but every time I _needed_ to change for whatever reason, it came back… although now that I think of it, there were times when it wouldn't happen – I just assumed I was having a bad day…" My voice trailed off into a whisper.

Sirius leaned back on the headboard of his four-poster bed. It was almost midnight, and the rest of his dorm mates were sleeping soundly around us, "Well they aren't magical, and they probably didn't know the exact dosage and such, so sometimes you could override it if you drank to little that month,"

"I guess that's possible," I nodded to his theory, "I've been reading up, and becoming an animagus isn't biologically inherited, but being a metamorphmagus is, and if my grandmother was one, then it makes sense that I'm one also,"

He shrugged, "Yeah. So, how good are you now?" He asked curiously.

I frowned, it had been three weeks since the beginning of my lessons with McGonagall, in that time I'd mastered changing the colours of my eyes and my skin, but it was changing my hair that still challenged me. The Professor said it was because I was thinking of it as a whole, when instead their many strands that make up a bunched mass. Usually what happened was only a portion of my hair would change and even then, the colour was never exactly as I pictured it.

"Hopeless," I sighed, laying across the end of his bed so my head fell over the edge.

"You can't be that bad… I mean, you can turn into a fox, that's got to count for something, right?" He attempted to cheer me up.

I crossed my arms across my chest, "McGonagall said that was an anomaly – there are records of metamorphmagai who could shape-shift into animals, but they were experienced and practised. She thinks it's something instinctual I have, not some insane skill, since I'm unable to turn into any other animal. She's probably right,"

"I'm sure it'll click someday, but until then, we need to sleep," he yawned, "You can either return to your dorm or top-and-tail with me again, I don't care,"

For a moment I looked at the door – I knew I _should_ leave, but couldn't be bothered walking over there, I was too tired to move anymore, so instead I smirked and whispered, "Pass me a pillow and keep your stinky feet out of my face,"

He chuckled softly as I drifted into the deep void of sleep.

* * *

"Get up, Vix," Somebody ordered.

"No!" I murmured into the pillow.

"You have to get up!" They nudged me and I swatted whoever it was away. I rolled over to get away from the intruder, but instead with a thud fell onto the cold floor.

"Dammit!" I cursed under by breath as four voices erupted into laughter, "Think this is funny do you?" I glared at them all, then realised, that I was lying on the floor of the boys dormitory, "…Oh,"

Lupin – being the kind one, unlike _some people_ I know – offered me a hand up, which I took, too lazy to get up myself, "You should go get ready, breakfast starts in twenty-five minutes," He smirked.

Surveying the room, I could see that he was the only one in school uniform and ready – both Sirius and Peter were still in their pyjamas, while James was wearing the school shirt, along with a loose Gryffindor tie and PJ bottoms, crawling along the floor in search of his glasses, which I could see Sirius holding behind his back, supressing laughter.

"See ya' later," I yelled as I slammed their door behind me, but I don't think anyone but Lupin heard, since the other three were busy throwing James's glasses around as he chased blindly after them.

Rolling my eyes, I bounded down the stairs and up the girls ones. I opened my door and stepped inside – immediately, all four of them hushed into a silence. It was as if I were some kind of intruder.

"Oh, don't mind me, I'm just passing through," I smirked, walking prideful up to my four-poster. I refused to let them get to me.

"Where were you?" Asked one of them – Abigail, I think her name was.

I shrugged, "Hanging out with Padfoot and the others,"

"Of course," Lily said bitterly, "That's all you ever do," She'd made her negative views of my friends quite obvious since the start of term – of course, it didn't help that we pranked her relentlessly – but still, it seemed she'd turned every one of my dorm-mates against me. They acted as if I was a disease.

"Well, they're much better company than the present," I smiled slyly, morphing my eyes to replicate hers, then winking.

"Stop doing that, it's disturbing," Lily huffed, looking quite irritated, "Do you even have any friends who are girls?"

"Sure, there's Alice and Andromeda and…" I faltered, there really weren't any others. It was quite a sad list.

"As I thought," She smiled smugly and walked out the door with two of the others. Abigail sort of half-smiled, half-waved at me, then turned to leave.

I got changed quickly and collected my books for my first classes, then sent the remaining fifteen minutes standing in front of the mirror attempting to turn my hair blue. It wasn't going well.

By the end, I had a dull headache but managed to give myself turquoise highlights, which wasn't a bad job and didn't look half bad, so I decided to leave it.

I meet James, Sirius and Remus in the common room, apparently Peter had managed to lose his rat Thimble _again_, and was busy running around the castle looking for it.

Together we wandered towards Gryffindor table, and took our seats.

"Heard anything more from your folks yet, Padfoot?" James asked, over the past few weeks the other three had taken up my nickname for Sirius quite diligently, finding it weird and fascinatingly stupid.

"No, thank god," He looked so relieved.

I'd thought of sending an owl to my parents, but the wound was still too raw. I wanted to ask them why. Why they didn't tell me I was a metamorphmagus, or even a witch for that matter? Why they thought they needed to supress my abilities? Why they were so… so _ashamed _of me? But every time I tried to put my thoughts into words, I ended up screwing it up in a ball and throwing it away. I think I'd rather say it to their faces, confront them myself… or at least that's what I told myself.

"Well I have," Said the voice of Andi. She slipped into the spot next to me on the bench, looking across the table at her cousin, "I've been _specifically_ told not to associate myself with you because you are 'a bastard blood-traitor who doesn't deserve to bear the name Black'," She stole a piece of toast from Sirius's plate, "I agree with the bastard part," She smirked, taking a bite.

He plucked the toast from her hand, "I am many things, but not an illegitimate child, thank you very much, _Andromeda_,"

"Ugh, call me Andi. Andromeda is such a _stupid_ name, only my parents would give their daughter such a long and hideous title,"

The first time Andi had ventured over to the Gryffindor table to sit with us, almost every head in the Great Hall had turned. The Slytherin's looked outright betrayed and the Gryffindor's were too shocked to tell her to leave, but eventually everybody got used to it. Before the start of term, I guess I assumed she had friends over in Slytherin, but it didn't take me long to realise how out-cased she was in her own house – she either hung out with us, or some of her Ravenclaw friends from her own year.

But this didn't mean she didn't belong in Slytherin, actually, it was quite the contrary. Although she may not hold the same prejudices as the rest of her house, her ambition and sly manipulative ways of achieving her goals were most defiantly true to Slytherin qualities.

"Anyway, I have some good news... or well, it's good news for _me_, not so much you… or your house…" Andi grinned at us mischievously.

"You're the new Slytherin chaser," Remus stated quite plainly, not looking up from his copy of the Daily Prophet which he'd stolen from James.

"How is it you know everything?" I asked him seriously.

He smirked, "I'm observant,"

"Whatever Lupin," Andi rolled her eyes, "We're still going to thrash you next week,"

James looked furious, "Hell no!"

"Wana bet?" She taunted.

"Ten galleons that Gryffindor wins," James slammed his fist on the table.

"Deal,"

They shook on it, with hard serious looks on their faces. I had a bad feeling about this; Andi doesn't make deals unless she knows she's going to make a profit and I'm not sure James had that money.

"Well, I have to get to class, bye guys," Then she skipped off merrily.

"James, you just made a deal with the devil," Sirius shook his head.

* * *

The day started off with an un-eventful Herbology class, then a mind-numbingly dull class of History of Magic with Professor Binns. After the break it turned out to become more eventful with a double Potions with professor Slughorn, who told me to wash out my hair dye (not for the first time), so then I has to _again_ remind him that every colour, is a natural colour to me.

But by the end of the day, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was go up to my dorm and sleep (really shouldn't have gone to bed at midnight), but I still had my regular lessons with Professor McGonagall to attend to, which was why I was sitting in her office with purple tinted skin, bright blue eyes and uneven brown-green hair. We'd been training for over an hour, and I'd almost gone through my entire colour pallet.

"You're trying to do it all at once; work on changing pigment of smaller amounts of your hair, remember each strand is _individual_," She clasped her hands together, "Again,"

This time, I concentrated on a violent red, stating with the roots of my fringe and shifting warping its pigment all the way around my head. It was tiresome and took almost twenty minutes, but the end result proved successful.

McGonagall beamed, "That's _much_ better, now I want you practising that every day, so by our next meeting you'll be able to change the colour of your hair within a quarter of the time,"

And I did practise – every single day – even during class I practised (all expect in Transfiguration, since she knew that if I were concentrating on morphing, then I couldn't possibly be concentrating on the set work, or so she thought).

Soon I could change my colours without the flicker of a thought, but by then, McGonagall had moved onto teaching me how to manipulate my shape and size. We started small, with me growing my fingernails out and evenly, and then we moved onto changing my hair length, then the style of my hair (curly, straight, bushy). Soon I found myself able to change my own age, then I learnt to do the same but wearing other people's faces (should have seen Lily's face when she was confronted by her 'secret twin') and finally, I perfected the art of creating and entirely new person, never seen before on the face of the earth.

It took time –months and months – pouring over anatomy books, studying the physiological structure of the human skeleton, seeing how the different parts of the body worked and functioned with each other. It was gruelling work, but in the end it proved to be a worthwhile endeavour.

So on the day when Professor McGonagall stated – quite calmly, might I add – that there was no need for me to visit her next week as there was nothing left for her to teach, I immediately sprinted back to the Gryffindor Common room… as a fox.


	14. Chapter 14: Us Mongrel Half Breeds

_"The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say,"_

_–Kahlil Gibran_

* * *

_Chapter Fourteen:_

_Six years later…_

Love was one of those unusual anomaly's that made its victim do stupid, idiotic things. It made you irrational and insufferable. It made you feel uneasy and unsure. It caused you to question your morals, the way you lead your life and how you want to live it in the future.

So as I stared at my obviously dazed and smitten friend, I couldn't help but feel sympathetic to him. He looked desperate. He looked crazed.

He looked like a beaten lovesick puppy who'd just kept getting up, which is exactly why I felt the twinge of guilt in my gut when I harshly told him the truth, even if it's a truth he's been told a hundred times over.

But as I said, love makes people irrational, so I couldn't really blame him.

"Prongs, look, I'm sorry, but you _need_ to face the facts – she hates you!" I deadpanned, watching him flinch.

"Way to boost my confidence, Vixen, some friend you turned out to be…" He grumbled and I face-palmed in frustration.

"Look, Lily and I may share a dorm, but I can't set you up on a date with her, I hardly even _know_ her!" I tried to sound serious, but the look he was giving me was so darn hilarious, tugging on his tie awkwardly as if it were a lifeline.

"Well… can you at least out in a good word, then?" He looked at me expectantly.

I sighed, shaking my head, "I'll try, James,"

"Thank you!" He fist pumped the air and started jumping up and down.

"I'm going to regret this…" I murmured under my breath.

Then James clapped a hand in my shoulder, "Well, I'm late for Muggle Studies, so see ya later!" He grinned manically and ran off down the hall and into the distance, while I stood their shaking my head.

"Don't forget to visit Moony later!" I shouted after him.

"How could I ever?" James yelled over his shoulder.

And that, was in fact, where I was headed before James interrupted my with his strange request… or maybe it was simply a delayed _ordinary_ request, since he's had a crush on that girl since fourth year and it was surprising that he hadn't already asked me this favour, since he'd vexed every other option, all of which had ended with a slap in the face and harsh rejection.

But he kept going back, and if anything, he must score some points for persistence.

That matter aside, I was on my way to the hospital with a book and a packet of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, to pass the time.

I pushed through the doors and into the infirmary, rows and rows of hospital beds lay empty… all until I saw him, sitting up in his bed, creating sparks with his wand in the air out of sheer boredom.

It truly pained me to see him so weak, seeing him after every full moon used to fill me with grief, but now all I feel is anger. I hated that he had to go through it – we all did – and we helped when we could, but there's only so much friends can do.

"How you feeling?" I asked.

He laughed bitterly, "Like I accidentally impaled myself with a broken floor board while trying to escape the Shrieking Shack in werewolf form,"

"So pretty crap, then?"

"Yeah, pretty crap," he agreed.

Digging into my pockets I pulled out the packet of Drooble's and the book, labelled 'History of Pyrotechnics', "I though you may want to read about how many wizards and witches have blown up their houses in the attempt of controlling explosions. It's actually quite hilarious, if you have the right sense of humour…"

"Thanks," Remus grinned as he opened up the Drooble's, popped one in his mouth then offered me one.

I refused, since he didn't get many gifts on the end of his hospital bed these days. I guess if you're in the hospital as often as Moony, people begin to expect it, although we haven't had a case this bad in a long time – usually it's just cuts and gashes, maybe the odd broken arm or leg.

"Has Sirius been in here by any chance?" I questioned.

Mooney nodded, "A couple of hours ago, so was Wormtail,"

I nodded, "Well, my spare is ending, which means I've got Potions soon and need to get my books, so I'd better be heading off. Get better soon, okay?"

"Oh… well then see you later," He managed a weak smile and I walked out the door. It was hard.

* * *

I rushed to Potions, papers flying in my wake, as I barged through the door, barley clutching my stack of books and I can imagine, looking quite dishevelled. All heads turned to look at me and Professor Slughorn sighed, "Late _again_, Miss O'Conner, that's a detention and ten points from Gryffindor,"

I sighed; it wouldn't be the first, and defiantly not the last detention I'd earn in my schooling years, so I took my seat beside my usual potions partner, Sirius, knowing better than to fight Slughorn today – it seemed he had been unlike his usual bubbly self since Slytherin's prized Keeper decided to give up Quidditch in order to cencentrate on exams a week before the first match.

"About time," He whispered to me.

"I was visiting Moony, he's doing better than he was yesterday," I smiled sadly, "Can sit up now,"

Padfoot nodded, "I saw him earlier with Wormy,"

"As I was saying _before_ I was so rudely interrupted," The Professor looked directly at me and I smiled sheepishly, "If you look at the ingredients list for Bendrillin's Awakening Potion, on page seventy-three in your Advanced Potion-Making book, which ingredients are missing?" Everybody in the class remained silent, "Really? No one? I didn't think a simple awakening potion would fool you…"

I nudged Sirius, "I know you know the answer, why don't you raise your hand?"

"Nah, I don't," He lied.

"So why did you write dragonfly thorax in you textbook to finish the ingredients list?" I asked smugly.

He shrugged, looking down into his lap, "It's just a guess…" Was his lame excuse.

Slughorn crossed his arms across his chest, "So nobody knows? Such a shame…"

Then, right up the front, Snape raised his hand quickly into the air.

"Yes?" Professor Slughorn looked at him expectantly.

"Dragonfly wings, sir, to sharpen and quicken the thought process," He said confidently.

"Correct…" Said Slughorn reluctantly, as if he wanted a different answer. He probably did. Everybody knew how brilliant Snape is in Potions – even with my stubborn hatred for him, I could see that – but he lacked the… creativity that was the essence of becoming not only brilliant at potions, but masterful. He wasn't willing to experiment with anything past his knowledge, he didn't push the boundaries and barriers set before him, whilst Sirius, well, let's just say he _did_. If not for my friends and I's willingness to experiment with magic, there would be Marauders Map, which would have put a stop to our more… artistic… pranks.

Sirius frowned, "Wrong…" He muttered under his breath and raised his hand.

I rolled my eyes, of _course_ he wouldn't raise his hand any other time –he had a reputation to uphold (or so was his excuse) – but normal rules didn't seem to apply where Snape and Evens were concerned, if he had the chance to prove Snape wrong and make him look like a fool, he'd take it with a heartbeat.

Slughorn brightened, "Yes, Mr Black?"

"If you used dragonfly wings, it _may_ work, but they only awaken the mind and it's possible they'd clash with the newt's blood and make the entire potion fail, since the blood can be temperamental depending on what it's brewed with. If the person is concussed and needs reviving – which is the purpose Bendrillin intended for his awakening potion – then shouldn't instead dragonfly thorax be used, since it not only does it sharpens the mind, but it also quickens the heart race. It was also proved in Golpalott's Second Law that they don't clash, so it'd prove the better choice for this particular Awakening Potion,"

"Perfect! Ten points to Gryffindor!" Slughorn clasped his hands together. I could see Snape seething up the front of the room, as Lily sat next to him, glaring at us; all the while I was trying to avoid hysterical laughter.

"Now, you have the rest of the hour to complete it," Slughorn smiled gleefully and the rest of the class groaned.

"Shit, shouldn't have said anything," Padfoot cursed under his breath as he set up the cauldron.

I placed the ingredients on the table, "Why?"

He grinned mischievously, "Because then we'd be the only ones with the correct brew,"

I rolled by eyes and we began. Usually I needed Sirius's help when it came to theory, but when it came to the practical side of potions, I was all for it. Although I forgot their properties, I had a knack for remembering each and every ingredient I's ever seen, all I had to do if I wanted to remember it was sketch it out, which is why my note taking was usually just pictures and scribbled labels, although occasionally – like today for instance – I was taking conventional notes for Moony's sake, so he could copy mine when he got up and about again, because Sirius – the annoyingly talented bastard – never took notes since he didn't need them.

We finished with ten minutes to spare – time that was spent cleaning up our mess (we didn't quite agree with the neat and cautious working manner Professor Slughorn had tried to instil in us since first year) and so we got to leave when lesson actually finished, for once.

"Another successful brew under my belt," Padfoot grinned cockily.

I scoffed, "You would be hopeless without my help – you can match names to properties, but when it comes to knowing what they look like your stumped. I mean, today you almost put in crushed deadlyius and chopped scarab beetle instead of chopped deadlyius and crushed scarab beetle,"

He smiled slyly at me, "Well that's because we're a team – two halves of the same whole,"

I felt my cheeks redden and I wasn't sure why – he said things like that all the time, it didn't _mean_ anything – but I morphed it away quickly, so he wouldn't notice.

"So, what's with today's colour?" He asked casually, "It's not as bright as usual,"

I laughed, today I'd decided to see what I'd look like with dark hair, and so instead of my usual bright blue and green pixie cut, it was now long with different shades of deep reds, purples and browns.

So shrugging, I replied, "Duno, felt different this morning,"

"We always feel different," He joked as we approached the Gryffindor door, "We're the Marauders, gang of mongrel half-breeds,"

"Exactly… _animus_," I muttered the password and the Fat Lady opened her portrait for us.

We sat at our usual table tucked in a nook near the back, there it was quiet and a good place for studying undisturbed, but of course, we could also talk about certain Animagi and werewolves without being overheard by the wrong ears.

I slumped in my seat at the thought of the homework I had, although it wasn't as stressful as last year as we don't have O.W.L.S anymore (thank Merlin) but that didn't mean our workload was any lighter.

"What do you want to start with?" Sirius asked, looking as depleted as I felt, "Defence, Magical Creatures or Muggle Studies?"

"And Divination," I added.

He smirked, "No, only _you _still take Divination, because _you_ actually have the Sight,"

"Hey, just because Professor Hikkle-Trasp think's I have the Sight, doesn't mean she's right," I pointed out.

"You figured out Moony's 'fury little problem' in second year, because of a dream!" he exclaimed, "And didn't tell any of the rest of us, might I add,"

I stubbornly folded my arms across my chest, "He asked me not to, plus, the rest of ya' figured it out eventually…"

He nodded, "Still, you could have made it much easier,"

I cocked an eyebrow, "And since when have I liked making things easy?"

"True, and you suck at everything else, so it even out in a way," He grinned mischeviously.

"Exactly! Merlin, if bloody Moony wasn't around to help me with Charms, I'd fail it completly!"

"Anyway, what'll it be?" He held up the books to me as if trying to sell them.

"What's due first?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts essay on defence against Dementors," He grumbled, looking sour.

"Then it's decided," I shoved all other book away and began scratching my quill against the parchment in my horrid handwriting.

* * *

**By the way, 'animus' means 'bravery' in Latin.**


	15. Chapter 15: A Tentative Smile

_"A friend tells you the things you don't want to tell yourself,"_

–_Frances Ward Weller_

* * *

_Chapter Fifteen:_

I'd never had a particular fear of heights, or even falling, for that matter – which is good considering my current position.

I was hovering high above the ground on my battered second-hand Cleansweep Two, as James yelled out orders to the team. He looked sort of… crazed, with a manic gleam in his eyes that seemed to come hand in hand with Quidditch.

You see, our friend Prongs has what you may call an obsession – one that grows considerably day by day, the closer we get to the upcoming game with Slytherin. First game of the year.

We'd been training every second day – rain, hail or shine – as it didn't seem to matter with James. He didn't seem to notice that it was currently pouring down and every single one of us were frozen to the marrow in our bones, and had been, for the last three hours we'd been out here.

I swooped in next to Sirius, "You know, I'm not usually one to complain, but…"

"Prongs has finally lost his god damn marbles?" Sirius offered.

"Precisely," I nodded in agreement.

Then, James flew up to us, red in the face and grinning from ear to ear, "C'mon guys, I can't be a Chaser all my myself, hurry up, we're using drill 5-7-9,"

"Which one was that again?" Sirius asked, scratching his head. I didn't know either.

He sighed in frustration, "I went over them all before!"

I groaned, "Prongs, mate, you know we love you–"

"–which is exactly why we're telling you this–"

"–because you've hit a dangerous level of obsession–"

"–so we're going to take you back inside–"

"–and force you to relax–"

"–because you've gone completely mental," Sirius finished with a satisfied nod.

James gaped at us for a second, "But we still have to _train_! We need to be _ready_! Slytherin's been training _every second day_!"

"So have _we_ for crying out loud!" I exclaimed, "Just _look_ at your team down there, would ya'? They're as good as they'll ever get – all you're doing now is wearing 'em down and giving 'em all colds,"

"… Fine," Was his grudging response.

The two of us grinned from ear to ear.

"All right, trainings over guys, let's bring it in!" Sirius yelled to the others.

There were collective sighs of relief as we all landed on the ground. It felt unusual walking on the grass after so long in the air, but as we approached the castle, I couldn't have been more desperate for a hot shower and well deserved nap.

The group of us walked, sopping wet, into the Gryffindor Tower. Remus and Peter took one look at our current state and burst into laughter.

Moony grinned and said slyly, "You know… this is exactly why I don't play Quidditch,"

* * *

Later that night, with damp hair and tired, heavy eyes, I curled up in the worn armchair with Marvin softly purring in my lap, right beside the fire of the Common Room, watching the flames dancing wildly as my eyelids fluttered closed.

_Rain bashed down on the rooftop, as I sat in the small nook in my bedroom, fingers pressed against the cold glass and breathe fogging up my hazy reflection. My real reflection._

_I'd arrived back three days ago, and still, I hadn't uttered a word to my parents. Not a single word. There had been no 'hello' or 'how have you been' or 'why did you intentionally supress my morphing abilities without telling me'._

_And that was exactly the problem; I didn't know how to confront them – it wasn't that I feared facing them, but more that fact that I didn't know what to say – so I remained silent._

_Still, I hadn't hid. I showed them exactly what they'd taken away from me – I made sure _they_ knew that _I_ knew exactly what they'd done – changing my hair from colour to colour every morning, just to drive in the point and make them feel guilty._

_But they still acted as if I didn't change my appearance every day, acted as if I weren't a witch, as if magic weren't real. Pretty soon I'd taken to wearing my wand behind my ear, never using ordinary pens and pencils but instead bringing my quill and ink everywhere with me and using every wizard saying I knew in every possible way, yet there was still no effect. They didn't acknowledge it, because to them there _wasn't _a wand behind my ear, there _wasn't _magical textbooks sprawled across my bed and their daughter defiantly _wasn't_ a witch._

_So why did I feel so guilty? In wasn't the one who should be sorry – I didn't keep any secrets. I didn't drug myself. I didn't betray my family._

_Maybe it was the grief that I saw in their eyes, the ones that silently pleaded for my forgiveness? Or maybe it was the fact that every time I looked at them, a small piece of my heart tore away?_

_Whatever the reason, I still wasn't ready. I needed time to think._

_There was a bark outside my window. Then another. I looked down to see Padfoot jumping around, tail wagging, playing in the garden bed._

_Then, an owl came to my window – a slightly demonic looking owl – that dropped a letter through the small flap I'd created for mail such as this, it read;_

Are you going to come down so I can cheer you up, or will I have to drag you out with my teeth and claws?

_A tentative smile pulled at my lips and I took one more glance at the shadowy animal in my front garden before swiftly morphing into my fox form and slipping down stairs and out the cat-flap installed by the previous owners of my home._

"'_Bout time," Sirius chuckled under his breathe, "You girls always take forever,"_

_I stuck my tongue out at him, "You're such a wanker, you know that right?"_

"_A lovable, adorable and handsome wanker, yes," He grinned._

_I scoffed, "Keep on dreamin',"_

_But amidst out playful banter, I could feel the knot in my chest growing lighter and lighter with each of his playful smiles. He had that effect on me – the ability to lighten even the darkest of my moods._

"_C'mon, we leaving?" _

_I nodded, "Where are we goin'?"_

_He shrugged, "Dunno, you gota wake up,"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Wake up, Vixen," Dream-Sirius shook my shoulders, "C'mon, wake up,"_

"Merlin, are you dead? We said wake up, sleepy-head," Prongs and Padfoot were staring down at me as my eyes cracked open. Wormtail looking exited standing in the background while Moony was shaking his head in disapproval and muttering something I couldn't quite make out in my hazy state.

"Wha–?" I shook my head, as Marvin scrambled up my arm to sit on my shoulder.

Sirius groaned, "God, you're slow, we have the perfect prank planned for Snivellus planned!"

At those words I immediately perked up, "Prank? Well, I do adore those…" I grinned mischievously.

"We know," The pair said in sync – gleeful smiles matching my own.

"Merlin, I've been itching to cause him hell since last week… teach him not to call _me_ a Mudblood," I stood up with sudden determination and dusted off my pyjamas.

Sirius scoffed, "Yeah, and he jinxed me, remember,"

I rolled my eyes, "So what's this prank entail exactly?" I inquired.

The other exchanged evil smiles and I heard Remus murmur something in the background that sounded like, "This will not end well…"

* * *

"So how'd you get the Prefect schedule?" I asked, knowing there was no way Remus, Evans or any of the other Prefects would've ever willingly handed it over. They're too uptight.

"Persuasion…" was Prongs's illusive answer.

There was a bitter snort in the background, "Ha, that's funny, because the way I remember it was you guys held me down and _stole_ it,"

"You don't have to be here, you know…" Peter rolled his eyes.

Remus scoffed, "The hell I don't! I need to make sure you don't actually get killed, or worse _expelled_,"

Sirius smirked, "That's impossible. We're too awesome to die… or get expelled," He added as an odd after thought.

"Obnoxious much?" I nudged him playfully and he nudged me back.

"Shhh!" James turned to glare at us, "Get under the cloak,"

We shuffled about, all five trying to fit, even after an enlargement charm was cast.

"James, your elbow in in my face," I tried to said, but my face was pressed on Moony's shoulder, so the words came out muffled. So, I did what any other sane metamorphmagus would do, I shifted my age down a few years so I was once again a short, scrawny, chest-less eight year old. Peter seemed to get the idea and settled as a rat on the ground.

Marvin hissed at him, but otherwise remained on my shoulder.

"Aww, you were so _cute_! What happened?" James ruffled my hair.

I glared daggers at him, "I swear to the name of Dumbledore, if you call me _cute_ again, I'll cut out your tongue,"

"Well, you're a grumpy little girl…" Moony muttered and I kicked him in the shin, "Ouch!"

I stuck my tongue out at him, and it didn't even look stupid and immature, because I was eight.

"Nah, she was more of a devil child when she was a kid. Hanging out with stoners and the like down in the tunnels," Sirius grinned mischievously.

I scowled, folding my arms across my chest defensively, "I didn't _know _Ratchet smoked pot back then… "

"Right, so you never wondered why he was always high as fuck?" Sirius stared at me.

I punched him in the arm, "Oi, that's my friend you're talkin' 'bout, Black, don't make me jinx you," I warned.

He recalled, "No need for violence, Little Fox, we're on a covert mission here,"

Lupin sighed, "Why am I friends with yo–"

But he was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps echoing on the marble floor. James smile widened and I crawled out from under the cloak.

I lay down on the floor and morphed myself to appear as if I was bloodied and dead. A bloodied and dead _Lily Evans_, as a matter of fact, then next to me I placed a knife we stole from the kitchens and covered in newt's blood that Prongs had left over from our last Potions lesson (mainly because he entirely screwed up the potion).

I could hear the others muffled laughter from where I believed the other four still stood, and a sigh from Remus. Sometimes I really wonder why he lowers himself to our stupid and childish immaturity level – he's such much of a better person than us, no matter what he believes.

Finally, I heard Snape turn the corner and gasp. He ran up to me and kneeled next to me, "No, no, NO! Not Lily, Merlin _please_, not Lily," He sobbed and I had to resist bursting into laughter.

Then, the guys started their whisperings from under the cloak and I found myself wondering (not for the first time) what father is his right mind would give _James_ of all people an invisibility cloak?

"…_help…me…"_

"…_Severus…help…"_

"…_so….cold…"_

"…_death… so…cold,"_

"…_help…"_

He jumped up franticly and looked around with crazed eyes, "What!? Lily, are you… a ghost? What's happening? Are you… d-dead?"

"…_so…cold…"_

"…_so…dark…"_

"…_can't…see…so…dark…"_

He looked back at me with tears in his eyes and I couldn't help but laugh. A small short laugh, which quickly turned into giant belts of laughter from the others as they came out from their 'hiding place' or invisibility cloak as I knew it to be – but Snape didn't know that.

I sat up, morphing back to myself again and smiling sickly-sweetly, "Never knew how much you loved me, Snivellus,"

He scowled; face growing red with furious rage as he raised his wand, "You infernal half-breed!" he spat.

I growled, "Call me that again, see what it gets you…"

"What? That you're a silly little Mudblood half-breed," He scoffed.

"Why you little–" I lunged but Remus held me back.

"C'mon, you wouldn't hurt the feelings of your precious, pretty and prude _Lily_, would ya'," Sirius mocked.

"I can't believe you _cried_!" James sneered, "How old _are_ you? Five?"

"_Levicorpus_," I heard Snape whisper and the curse hit James square in the chest and hoisted him straight into the air by the ankle.

Sirius and I automatically went to grab out wands but then Remus intervened, "Oh, for Merlin's sake, _Liberacorpus_!" He cast the counter-curse and Prongs fell to the floor with a thud, "You're all a bunch of idiots!"

Snape scowled, "You're no better, Lupin, _I_ could give you all a detention in a second,"

"So why haven–" Sirius started but was interrupted.

"So could I! We all deserve one anyway; I don't know why I agreed to this… I'm leaving; you all should too, unless all four of you idiots want to get expelled," Then he stormed off back in the direction of Gryffindor Tower muttering angrily to himself.

* * *

I barged into their room in the morning, "Can I borrow your spare tie?"

"What happened to yours?" Lupin asked, he seemed to have cooled down since last night.

I shrugged, "Set it on fire accidentally,"

"I… I'm not even going to ask," He shook his head and dug into his footlocker, "Here," he threw it at me and I dashed quickly out of the room, "Don't lose it… or burn it… or harm it in any way!" He yelled after me and I laughed.

"Sure,"

Then, I sprinted back up to the girl's dorm, still wearing half my pyjamas and half my robes. Quickly, I riffled through my mess of clothes in my trunk and found a clean-ish skirt (meaning there was only one gravy stain near the hem) and pulled it out.

"I know what you did,"

It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

I turned around to face an angry Lily, "And good morning to you, sugar-queen!"

"It was cruel and heartless… I should report all five of you!" She exclaimed suddenly.

"Six," I corrected, "Snivellus cursed Prongs… actually, wait no… you're right, it _is_ five. Moony didn't do anything; he broke up the fight – kept me from socking Snivellus in the eye, should 'av herd what he called me…"

Evens face twisted into a scowl, "I don't care! How dare you… you _use_ me like that!"

"Use you?" I started at her blinking. That wasn't what I'd expected.

"I never gave you any permission to use my body against my best friend!" She snapped – eyes like burning emerald orbs.

I shrugged and morphed into Snape, "But that's _absurd_!" then I morphed back, "Biologically, any 'body' can be mine, since I'm a metamorphmagus, and all… all forms are my own, it's in my DNA,"

"I find it strange how proud you are to share the blood of a murderer," She sneered,

I winced, "Well I apologise for being strange, then. I still don't see where this conversation is going…"

"You're _infuriating_!" She screamed.

"Well, so are you!" I yelled back, although much calmer than Lily.

"Ugh!" She threw her hands up into the air and stormed off.

I smirked and yelled after her, "By the way – James loves you!"

"Fuck off, O'Conner," Then she slammed the door.

I sniggered, "Temper, temper…"

Once I finished changing and getting myself ready for classes, I ran down to the Great Hall, just in time to swipe some toast before the elves cleared the tables and I had to sprint to Transfiguration.

"S-sorry Professor," I mumbled to McGonagall as I took my usual seat beside Alice.

She began her lecture on transfiguring through different species, and I pulled out my Invisible Quill. I began scribbling on a ripped piece of parchment asking _'any update, or still nothing?' _and pushed it towards Alice.

Inconspicuously she tapped the paper and murmured, "_Vatum conspectus_," to reveal my writing and scribbled down a message of her own, biting her lip in the process. The note read; _'nothing, I'm still waiting – what should I do?'_

I wrote back; _'I'll kill the coward… and he calls himself a Gryffindor!'._

'_Don't kill Frank, I need him to ask me out first'_ she replied with a scowl.

I smiled slyly, _'I won't, we need Longbottom for the upcoming game anyway, he's our best beater,'_

'_Still, every time he makes an excuse to talk to me, I think he's going to ask me… but nothing'_, Alice sighed.

'_You want me to slap some sense into the boy…?' _I offered.

She sent me a warning look, _'You better just be yanking my wand, Riley…'_

I shrugged as a reply and she frowned.

She wrote;_ 'Don't you dare… it's easier for you… you have a boyfriend'_

I furrowed my brow in confusion, _'what are you going on about?"_

She sniggered, _'Sirius, duh'_

'_He is not – nor will he ever be – my boyfriend!' _I furiously wrote in reply, so much so that I ripped the page.

She smirked and pushed the parchment over towards me,_ 'you sleep in his bed more often than not, spend every waking minute with him, have your own inside jokes, live next door from each other…so… friends with benefits, then?'_

I stiffed a laugh – the idea was completely ridiculous! _'Okay, now you're just being stupid, there is nothing between Padfoot and I. We're best friends, no benefits or anything else like that, okay?'_

'_Sure, sure, whatever you chose to believe…'_

"Miss Greenhill and Miss O'Conner, care to pay attention?" The Professor looked at us sternly I shoved the paper into my pocket quickly.

After that, I attempted to concentrate on the lesson, unable to continue the conversation with McGonagall's all-knowing gaze watching over Alice and I, but my mind kept wandering off elsewhere.

Is that what people thought of us? That Sirius and I were… well, _that_? The idea seemed so completely ludicrous, but I understood their view, however disturbing it was. Yet, of course there was the little voice in the back of my head that had to whisper _what if… what if we _did_ go out…_

I squashed the stray thought immediately. That's just not… right. He's my friend – my best friend, in fact. I can't like him. Hell, I downright _refuse_ to like him in _that_ way! It's just… weird and… wrong…

So why then did it feel so right?

* * *

**I'm not trying to make Lily a bitch… or Riley either, for that matter. They're both nice people, they just don't particularly **_**get along **_**with each other, and who ever acts civil to their enemies, even if they are good people? They'll eventually get over their differences.**

**And yes, Alice and Frank are Neville's parents, just in case somebody doesn't get that.**

**Also, I hope people notice the Toph and Katara reference (from Avatar: The Last Airbender), the Hermione quote and the Starkid quote I snuck in there because, well, **_**it's rather good**_**… Please review in the TOTALLY AWESOME name of 'A Very Potter Senior Year'. I'm psyched for it – It's going to be supermegafoxyawesomehot!**

**People who don't know what I'm talking about… you all are missing out on life.**

**Oh… and while I'm at it…CONGRADULATIONS TO MY FRIENDS ****SAVAGE**** AND ****SPECIAL K****!**

…**I hope you two never ever read this…you'll (try to) kill me…**

**O_o**


	16. Chapter 16: Superiority Complex

**Okay, just hear me out. Lots of people are going on about how cruel a joke that was to Snape. Well, yes you're right – it was cruel. Quite cruel, actually. I just believe that for Snapes hatred to jump from James to Harry (even when Harry is half Lily), the Marauders musta done some pretty mean shit. Don't worry, Snape **_**will**_** get his revenge soon enough.**

* * *

_"It is not love that is blind, but jealousy,"_

_–Lawrence Durrell _

* * *

_Chapter Sixteen:_

The conversation had been normal – the key word there being _had_.

Prongs, Moony, Wormtail and I had been sitting quietly in our little nook near the back of Gryffindor Tower, semi-stalking the movements of the school with the help of the Marauders Map and creating absurd stories for what certain students where doing in certain places with certain other people – a past time which was surprisingly entertaining and addictive – all until Padfoot ran in with some… interesting news.

"I asked out Ariana Shaklebolt," He grinned at us excitedly, "And she said yes,"

There was silence as every head at the table turned.

You see, Sirius going on a date wasn't rare, or odd, or abnormal in any way. Thing is, he had this… belief… that if a girl was gutsy enough to ask him out, their gutsy enough to handle him and his… eccentric tendencies. Thing is, he's never really had any interest in anybody, or not that I knew of. Not until now.

"Wait, so _you_ asked _her _out?" Prongs felt the need to clarify.

"Yes," Sirius smiled dazedly, "I did,"

"Ain't she a Hufflepuff?" Peter questioned, looking oddly suspicious.

He nodded awkwardly, "Um, yeah, we have Astronomy with her… she helped me with that essay…"

Lupin smirked, "Is that why you didn't ask for my help?"

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah, basically,"

"And you know her elder brother is an Auror in training, right?" James laughed.

"… Now I do,"

The conversation continued but I remained silent (quite an unusual feet coming from me). Of course he was my best friend, and I should be happy for him, the problem was… I just _wasn't_. In actual fact I felt like strangling Ariana, but I'd never admit to that, not back then anyway. Maybe I'm acting like some kind of over protective little sister with an over active superiority complex, but the thought of a different girl in his life was… strange.

I just, wasn't sure how I felt about Sirius anymore, it was so… confusing.

"You haven't said a word Vixen, what's going in with you?" Moony questioned, concern and suspicious written across his scared face.

"Oh, nothing just… Charms, you know?" I smiled meekly, appearing to be quite engrossed in my homework. The others just shrugged (typical thick males), but I could see Remus wasn't buying it, although, none the less he remained silent.

After a while of attempting (and failing) to concentrate on Charms homework, I realised my efforts were futile. My mind was just… blank. It was all still sinking in, I guess.

"I think I might go to bed…" I mumbled and left.

Sirius gave me a quizzical glance but I avoided his eyes. I didn't really feel like talking to him. Truthfully, I'm not sure what ticked me off more; the fact that this was the first I've heard of anything between him and Ariana and knowing Sirius as well as I do – which is quite well – he would have put quite a lot of thought into this decision (without even consulting me!) or that, because… well… it wasn't me who he asked.

Oh Merlin, I did _not_ just think that.

No, I erase that thought from my brain. I do not _like_ my best friend in that particular way. Ariana can, but I won't. I simply refuse. I reject it. Burn it. Kill it. Stab the thought with a jagged knife (because stabbing means nothing if the knife ain't jagged) and burry it six feet under my feet.

And so, with that, I collapsed face-first with a groan on my bed.

Life sucks…

* * *

"You know this whole _'not liking Sirius' _thing ain't working for you…" Alice looked pointedly at me.

I growled, "I don't like him. I don't. I just _do not_. Okay?"

"Of course, right. How could I forget," She laughed sarcastically.

"You're lucky I'm too tired to be violent today," I banged my head against the table.

Alice scoffed, "You're lucky Andi doesn't know of that _tinny crush_ you _might have_ on her _little cousin_,"

"Um, excuse me? Who has a crush on my cousin?" Asked the shrill voice of Andromeda herself, as a pile of books were dumped on the spare seat beside me with a sharp crack.

"Oh, Riley does," Alice smiled sweetly to herself.

"_What_!" She screeched, "Since when!" Then she paused, "... Wait I hope you mean Sirius… if it's Regulus than it'd just be weird…"

I smacked my head against the table again, "Hate. You."

"It's Sirius," Alice shrugged, "And it serves you right for waiting too long,"

"But I don't have a crush on him," I pointed out plainly, but this didn't seem to have any effect. Alice was decided, and once decided, there's no going back.

Andi looked at us with a confused look upon her face, "Wait… so do you or do you not?"

I deadpanned "No," while Alice proclaimed "Yes," in a proud voice.

Deciding to completely ignore my point of view on the subject, my two friends turned towards each other and began chatting about my non-existent love-life.

"You know… I'm sitting right here,"

"Yes, but you won't listen to reason," Andi snapped. I wish she liked a guy, just so I could take the piss outa her for it. But then again, you don't always need to like the guy to be teased, just like how I _don't like Sirius _and yet here my friends sit... damn them. Damn them all.

In the end, I gave up. Let them speculate as much as they wanted – none of it was true. I didn't like him. That was my final decision.

As I put the finishing touches on my Astronomy essay (due yesterday), I left in silence. I'm not sure if Andi or Alice even noticed – they were too busy planning out my life without consent.

Head down and stack of books in arms, I rushed up the Grand Staircase, not watching where I was going, and in effect, managed to get my foot stuck in the disappearing step, causing everything I was holding to topple out of my grasp and fall onto the floor.

"Oh, are you okay?!" A high voice asked in alarm, "Let me help you!"

The girl rushed to my aid, beginning to pick up my books as I tried yanking my foot out of its position.

"Thanks," I said as she gave me a great yank, but the smile soon melted from my face as I realised who she was.

With dark mocha skin, deep brown eyes, thick locks of black hair and the brightest and widest of smiles, my saviour was none other than Hufflepuff Prefect, Ariana Shacklebolt.

She beamed and handed me my books in a neat stack, "Don't mention it… hey, your Sirius's friend, right?"

I nodded, "His best friend, yes,"

"… So you've heard,"

"I have," I grinded my teeth together, trying to be civil but finding the act harder than I'd anticipated. It didn't help that she was so freaking _nice_. If she were a bitch, it'd be so much simpler. Then I could rationalize my dislike.

"Well, I hope to get to know you better. Any friend of Sirius, is a friend of mine,"

"Right. Okay, well, thanks," I said dryly, looking down at my feet as she skipped off, a spring in her step.

I walked back to the Common Room with extra caution.

"_Acerbumdulce_," I murmured bitterly to the Fat Lady and she opened the portrait.

Taking a seat in my favourite armchair, I sighed. Sirius was on the other side of the room, talking excitedly with James and Peter.

"Why do you look so down?" The suspicious voice of Remus Lupin asked as he sat down beside me. He followed my line of sight, "Ah, I get it,"

I sat up abruptly, "Excuse me?"

"You were staring at Sirius… I can see that you don't like it, it's obvious,"

When he said 'it' I knew what he meant – he was talking about Ariana. He was right of course (when isn't Moony right?), but I wasn't going to admit that any time soon.

"I don't have a crush on him," I snapped, folding my arms across my chest defensively.

He smirked, "Never said you did,"

I scowled but Lupin continued, "You know… if you need somebody to go with to Hogsmead this Saturday…"

"Oh yeah…" I sagged glumly, "He's going with her…"

Usually, Padfoot and I went together. As friends, of course, but still it was a tradition quite rarely broken. I sighed again, "I guess I'll just… do homework back here or something…"

"I guess you could do that…" Moony shuffled uncomfortably, "Or well… you could always go with me…"

* * *

**Just to let you know 'acerbumdulce' means 'bittersweet' in Latin. I find it quite ironic.**

**Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17: A Little Belladonna

**Wow, that you all for your reviews! Never thought I'd get any when I first started writing this!**

* * *

_Is she your new best friend?_

_One day it will end, you know it will,_

_You're so shy,_

_So just let it fall apart,_

_–Eskimo Joe 'Sarah'_

* * *

_Chapter Seventeen:_

"So… you said yes? To Remus Lupin?" Alice stared quizzically at me, "… But you like Sirius?"

I glared at her.

She held her hands up defensively, "Okay, so you don't like him in _that_ way… do you like Remus in _that _way?"

I scoffed, "They're both my friends, Alice, which means that I don't care about Ariana and that Remus and I are going to have a pleasant day at Hogsmeade,"

"So you specified, then,"

I shuffled uncomfortably, "Not necessarily… he knows we're going as friends though,"

"Seriously, you spend all you time with them, and yet you know nothing. Boys are thick; they'll see what they want to see unless you shout it out louder than their egos,"

I shook my head, "Okay, firstly, Remus hasn't got an ego. At all. And he's not thick either,"

"Okay, true, you got me there," Alice bit the end of her quill, "But that doesn't excuse the fact you're only going with him so you don't sit alone in your room for the entire day throwing darts at a picture of Ariana,"

I growled, "Don't push it, Alice…"

"Riley, just make sure you know what you're doing, 'kay," She smiled and left.

"Yeah, see ya' later,"

After a few minutes of peaceful working in the Great Hall, Sirius himself entered, along with James who was watching Lily on the other side of the room, and not where he was going.

They pulled in opposite me, "Sup, Vixen," Sirius grinned.

"Hey Riley," James greeted me cheerfully.

I lay down my quill, "Hey guys, what bring you into my personal-space bubble?"

"We just like invading your territory," Shrugged Sirius, "Foxes, always so territorial…"

"Says the dog," I rolled my eyes and nudged him playfully, "And we aren't territorial, get your facts straight, Padfoot,"

James smirked, "You know that Transfiguration homework…"

"Yes," I said, turning my hair an electric shade of violet to prove the point. Of course I knew what the assignment was, we'd moved onto a topic I found quite simple – human Transfiguration. Something I wasn't horrible at. Most transfiguration had nothing to do with my metamorphmagus abilities, as they consisted of transfiguring animals and objects, but now we had moved onto bigger and better things, my grade standards had risen from barley passing Acceptable's all the way up to Outstanding's.

"What part do you need help on?" I sighed, pushing my work aside for a moment.

"All of it," James answered wryly.

"Well, that's helpful; did you even read the chapter on anatomy?" I asked.

"… Which chapter was that again," He mumbled.

Slightly annoyed, I flicked my wand at his book and the pages flew to Chapter Thirteen, "It's got all the answers in it – go read," I ordered.

He groaned and grudgingly left, acting needlessly childish.

"He's an idiot," Sirius softly chuckled under his breathe.

"I guess, he's just stressed out, with the upcoming game up and all…" I mumbled, "So how's it going with you?"

He shrugged but his face portrayed deep thought, "… Weird. I've never had an actual proper girlfriend before,"

"Yeah, how come I didn't know about this sooner… Jesus, I'm the best friend, I need to know these things…" I smiled mischievously.

He smiled back sheepishly, "Sorry… I was distracted,"

I scoffed, "By a certain Hufflepuff I'd expect," I looked at him with hooded eyes, "Never thought you'd go for goody-two-shoes-Shacklebolt, and a Prefect of all people! They're no good! Too uptight!"

He frowned at me, "Ariana s'not uptight… plus, from what I hear, you're going with a certain Prefect to Hogsmeade this weekend, you hypocrite," he barked a laugh, "Ha! Imagine that, the two biggest trouble-makers in the school – three if Prongs ever gets his way with Evans – all datin' prefects!"

I scowled, "Moony and I are going as _friends_, thank you very much. I'm already getting enough shit from Alice and your dear cousin Andromeda over it, please not you too?"

He waved me off in laughter, "Of course I know that! I'm just yanking your wand,"

I shook my head. It was times like this when I forgot about everything – it was just us. Two best friends with a history that goes back to our younger years. It was free. It was natural.

"Hey guys!"

… It was ruined.

Sirius brightened up as she slid in beside him, "Hey Ariana,"

"Good morning Sirius, how are you today Riley?" She addressed me.

I stared blankly at her – I wasn't used to people addressing me so… formally.

"…Um, alright, I guess… just… homework an' stuff, ya' know?" I muttered awkwardly.

"Yeah, it's annoying sometimes, but it pays off eventually, right?" She smiled sweetly and Sirius rested his arm around her shoulders.

I wasn't sure why she was bothering to talk to me – Sirius's past flings had never even acknowledged my existence. They preferred to pretend as if I wasn't there. I intimidated them, in a way, as if I was some kind of threat.

Ha, I wish.

Wait… no I don't… I shook my head and delved back into my homework as did the other two. We didn't speak for a long while, but I could see the both of them kept nudging each other and sneaking glances. It was sickening.

"Hey, Sirius, what's this plant?" I asked, showing him the picture from my notes that I'd forgotten to label.

"Belladonna, it's poisons,"

I rolled my eyes, "Gathered that myself, smart-ass,"

"Well, what's this?" He showed me a different drawing in his textbook.

I stiffed a laugh, "Padfoot… that's a microwave… we use it to reheat meals in the Muggle World,"

"Really? Cool!"

Ariana looked up at me with a puzzled expression on her face, "I didn't know you were muggle born… aren't you a metamorphmagus?"

"Why can't I be both?" I questioned, slightly defensively.

"It's a genetic disorder right?"

A disorder? Did she just call my amazing awesome-ness a _disorder_? Well, I'd for sure never found anything _disorderly_ about it. Ever.

"Yeah but us muggle born's are just descendants of squibs – my Grandmother was the squib and her mother was a metamorphmagus, therefore, you get the wonderful me,"

"Esmeralda Bonechild…" She mumbled to herself.

"How'd you know that?" I wondered suspiciously.

"Oh, I'm into history and genetics. Have you read _Hogwarts: A History_?" She asked politely.

I laughed at the mere thought – I never read unless I _absolutely_ had too, "Who the hell has?"

"… I have… a few times…" She said in a mousey voice.

"Well, I spend my time in other ways,"

Sirius didn't seem to have noticed the hostility that was taken a place in my tone of voice as he worked along seemingly not hearing our conversation. Alice was right, boys are thick.

"Like pranking?"

"Hey, what's wrong with pranking?" Sirius mocked looking deeply offended.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter as long as you don't get caught," I laughed.

Her lips creased into a line, "What about your victim? How do you think they feel afterwards?"

"Annoyance, embarrassment, anger… what's you point? If they're smart enough to, they'll prank us back. It keeps you vigilant… sharp," I smiled excitedly, "That said, I had an idea earlier…"

Sirius leaned in excitedly towards me as his girlfriend rolled her eyes, "Yeah?"

It was good to know I still had my best friend when it counted.

* * *

"Hey Moony," I said excitedly with a grin was I walked up to him, fists buried deep in my hoodie pockets.

He smiled back, "Hello Riley, shall we go?"

I shrugged, "Well, I ain't gona stand here all day,"

We dawdled along with the crowd towards Hogsmeade, Hagrid leading us along the way. It was a warm afternoon, with the clouds partly covering the sun and the gravel crunching under my strawberry converse.

"So, where are we going first?" Moony asked.

I shrugged, "I need another years' worth supply of sugar to keep me going for the next month until the next trip, how about Honeydukes?"

He nodded in agreement, "Sure, I need more chocolate anyway…"

"You're a serious choc-a-holic, Remus,"

Moony shrugged, with a sheepish grin on his face as we walked through Main Street of the small village. Pushing open the door, we heard the bell ring. The shop smelled like heaven and I believe if I had died right there, I would have died a happy girl, but unfortunately it was also quite crowded, so we swiftly grabbed our food and paid.

Outside, we sat on a park bench in comfortable silence. I was happy with all thoughts of _them_ out of my mind.

"Too bad James is too paranoid to leave his room… it's a nice day," I smiled but Remus shifted uncomfortably.

"… Yeah, why is that?"

I smirked, "He thinks he'll break a leg or something and he'll have to forfeit the game… believe me, Sirius and I got a big talk about all the 'extremely dangerous hazards' of Hogsmeade before we left," I paused, "And Wormy just forgot to get his form signed. Idiot,"

"Typical," Remus shook his head in amusement.

I laughed, but it caught in my throat as I spotted a horrid sight across the park. Sirius had Ariana pressed up against a tree, kissing her heatedly. I felt my heart drop as if it were made of led.

"… Riley, are you okay?" Moony asked me a few times but soon spotted the sight for himself, "Oh… we can leave if you want?"

"Why should we leave? I don't care. It's his fucking life, not mine," I snapped.

Remus smugly cocked an eyebrow, a small knowing smile pulling the edges of his lips.

"Sorry…" I mumbled, looking down at my converse.

He sighed and put a friendly arm around me, "I get it, seriously, I do… I watch the girl I like, pine over one of my best friends every day… it gets easier,"

I smiled weakly at him and stood up, "C'mon, let's go do something fun!"

"Now, that's the Riley I know," He chuckled and followed my trail away from the sickly sight.

* * *

The two of us ended up in sitting _The Three Broomsticks_ drinking Butterbeer.

"I still can't believe you dragged me into that dusty old book shop…"

Moony glared mockingly at me, "Well I happen to like books… and _Tomes and Scrolls_ isn't dusty, it's quite pleasant,"

"I sneezed seven times," I deadpanned.

"Well you're weird," He said lamely.

I scoffed, "Tell me something I don't know, mate,"

Across the room I saw the tall and lanky figured Frank Longbottom enter the pub. His eyes scanned the crowd until they came to rest on Moony and I, his smile brightened as he walked towards us.

"Hey, have you guys seen James?" He asked, talking a seat opposite me and beside Remus.

Lupin shook his head, "He's too paranoid to leave his room,"

"Thought so, he ranted at me for a good twenty minutes before I left today," He grinned.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Are you sure there isn't… I don't know… somebody _else_, you're looking for?"

"… No," He lied and there was an awkward silence.

Remus jumped up with unexpected hast, "I'm going to get another butterbeer… you two want one?"

"Sure," I answered for both Frank and I before he had time to open his mouth. I watched Moony leave in silence, before I picked up his newspaper and began repeatedly hitting Longbottom with it, "Ask. Her. Out. You. Idiot!"

"Oi, for Merlin's sake stop it!" He yelled, throwing his arms up in defence.

I rolled my eyes, "Well, she's kinda getting impatient – Alice won't wait forever. You know how she is, always up and going, with a million things on her mind at any one given time. Ask her the fuck out already, it'll save me so much stress,"

"Jesus, what is with Andi and you? Both at me from both ends! I'm waiting for the… time to be right, I guess," He shuffled awkwardly in his seat.

"To hell with the 'right' time! Just do it, okay? I'm serious, dude; she likes you, a _lot_, okay… I don't understand why, with all your scrawny awkwardness and stuff, but that irrelevant," My eyes pierced his, turning from my usual calm hazel, into burning orbs fiery scarlet.

"Dude, that's just plain creepy," He pointed out, "And I'm working on it, 'kay, just leave it… please,"

I sighed and lent back in my chair, "I'll give you a week – maybe two if I'm feeling generous – before I set the great match-maker Andromeda Black upon your whiney ass,"

He cringed, "… Right, well, I better go…"

Frank stood up and left just as Remus returned, "Remember what I said!" I called after him.

"You 'talked' to him, then?" Remus asked with a sly smile pulling at the corner of his lips. He hadn't even gotten Frank a drink.

I rolled my eyes, "You seriously do know everything, don't you?"

"I'm observant,"

"I've noticed,"

"Well, then your observant too," He winked and took a swig of his drink.

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	18. Chapter 18: A Friendly Game of Quidditch

**Sorry for not updating, I've been on school camp all week and now I'm sick with a nasty cold. Fun. Oh, and just letting you know that this chapter contains a flashback to the night before and **_**not**_** a dream (for once).**

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'_The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss'_

–_Douglas Adams_

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_Chapter Eighteen:_

My eyes flashed open, mind suddenly awake. I sat up smirking at the _Ballycastle Bats_ poster taped to the headboard, taking a while to recognise where I was for a minutes before realizing that I (for once) had fallen asleep in my own dorm, in my own bed.

It just wasn't… proper… anymore, for me to stay with them. With him. Because, even though it meant nothing between us, it meant something to me.

"_Just follow the plan, 'kay," James nodded crazily at us. The three of us – Padfoot, Prongs and I – sat slouched in a circle on a shaggy rug in the boys' dorm, as James (once again) drilled us on our technique and strategies._

"_Dude, can we go through this in the morning… Quidditch meetings at midnight really fuck with my mental state," Sirius groaned._

_I yawned widely, "I agree… the games tomorrow, so we'd better get some sleep or we'll fly crocked…"_

"_Fine… but I'm waking you all extra early so we can go through all of this before the match starts," Prongs looked at up pointedly, "We have to win!"_

"_Yeah, yeah… save it for the mornin'," I stood up off the floor, eager to leave the room. I just felt so… awkward. It shouldn't be like this – it never has been between us, but somehow I felt as if he was… out of reach, even when sitting right beside me. It was as if I was restricted, because he had a girlfriend and, well, it wasn't me, "I better go back to my dorm, it's gettin' late,"_

_Sirius frowned, "Why not top and tail, we usually do…"_

"_Um, I don't think that with Ariana now, that'd be a… good idea…" I mumbled awkwardly, looking down at my bare feet._

"… _Oh, right," Padfoot smiled weakly, "Well, goodnight, then,"_

_I managed a small smile and left._

_Because truly, no matter what anybody says… things are just _different_ now…_

Sighing, I slipped out of bed. Everybody was still asleep on this quiet Sunday morning, but I knew, that James was downstairs waiting, so I quickly pulled on my Gryffindor uniform, grabbed my old battered Cleansweep Two and headed downstairs into the Common Room.

On my way down, I decided that with my loyalty to Gryffindor, I'd morph my hair into a deep scarlet with golden highlights (which I'll admit, didn't look all that bad). I made sure to make it short also – it makes it easier to fly.

Sirius, James and our Seeker Marlene McKinnon where already there when I jumped the last step, but we were still missing Frank, Hestia Jones and Sturgis Podmore.

Suddenly, Hestia came bolting down the stairs, sleek black hair tied up in a messy bun, "Am I late?"

James shook his head and she joined our ranks. After a few minutes of waiting, Frank stumbled down the stairs accompanied by a Sturgis, "I can't find my broom!"

"_What_?!" James exclaimed.

"We can't find it anywhere, Longbottom can't remember where he bloody left it," Sturgis sighed, shaking his head.

James looked livid but did a good job of remaining calm, "What do you mean… you do not know where you left it. We trained on Friday!"

Frank scratched the back of his neck, "Well, you see, I haven't seen it since, well… Friday. I've been looking for it, and I tried hiring a broom yesterday while in Hogsmeade from _Spintwitches_, but they don't lend them out, apparently,"

And to think Frank's the eldest on the team – thank god he didn't want to be captain and handed the job down to James or Gryffindor would be in for hell's trial.

"Okay, when did you last see your broom?" Marlene asked calmly, while Sirius calmed down James who looked as if he was about to go into cardiac arrest from overwork and stress overload.

"On the field after practise, I left it there, I know I did, but when I came back the next day and it was gone,"

"Didn't Slytherin have training that morning… could they have taken it?" Hestia suggested.

I frowned in thought and spoke slowly, "Andromeda's their captain though, and she's fair… pretty much everybody listens to her, well, all except for…"

"I'm going to fucking kill my little brother!" Sirius yelled in sudden realisation.

"We don't know if it was Regulus, Sirius," James held his friend back.

I scoffed and folded my arms across my chest, "Who else but the slimeball would go against the word of Andromeda, she's not somebody you cross and you _know_ how Regulus likes to test the limits,"

"Who are you even talking about?" Frank asked, looking confused.

"My little brother, the Slytherin Seeker," Sirius spoke sourly.

Marlene frowned, "Merlin, he's your brother? He almost pushed me off my broom last game! In fact, I did see him lurking about when I went back to get my glasses on Friday morning,"

"Sounds like something a Black would do," I smirked and Sirius shot me a wry smile.

"Okay, let's just get down to the field and talk to Andi, the Slytherin's are already warming up down their while we stand here bickering," James spoke with authority and the team nodded in agreement.

Together, we marched out of our Common Room and through the castle, determined looks on our faces (well, all except for Frank, who was looking quite pale) as we approached the field James waved down Andromeda and she landed before us.

"What do you need?" She asked suspiciously, but with high spirits.

"I need to talk to my little brother about a theft," Sirius stated quite bluntly.

She arched and eyebrow, "Oh, do you now? And what theft is this,"

"We think he may have taken Frank's broom," I sighed.

Andi stiffened and her smile turned into a hard line, "I don't have cheats on my team… Longbottom is always losing his things; don't use one of my Seeker as a scapegoat for your faults,"

"I saw him sneaking around!" Marlene snapped.

"When?" Andi looked down her nose at the shorter girl.

"When I was getting my glasses!"

Andi threw her hands up into the air, "If you were getting your glasses then how did you se–"

"Oi, save it for the game!" I said sharply and broke them apart.

Andi sighed, "I'll ask him,"

"He won't listen to you," Sirius exclaimed.

"Why not, cousin," Andi folded her arms across her chest defensively.

Sirius smirked, "Because according to him we're both blood traitors,"

She bit her lip, "True,"

Sturgis spoke up, "Um… I feel as if this is a family battle, which can wait until _after_ the game,"

"And I really need my broom back," Frank shuffled awkwardly.

Andi bit her lip, "I'll see what I can do…"

* * *

"That douche bag…" Sirius muttered.

Frank rolled his eyes, "Get over it, I've got it back now, it's fine,"

"Still doesn't excuse the fact that he painted it _green and silver_!" Snapped Sirius.

I laughed at his sour expression, "Dude, you're talking this way to personally, it's fixed now so get over it,"

Sirius grumbled but seemed to brighten and Little Miss Perfect herself skipped up towards the team, "Good luck today, Sirius, I'll be cheering for you,"

"Thanks, Ari," He smiled warmly and kissed her quickly of the cheek. I turned away, not wanting to watch.

"Oh and good luck to you too, Riley, make sure you don't fall off your broom," She said sweetly.

I looked at her with an odd, surprised expression on my face – was she serious? It looked as if she were; Ariana looked earnest in her usual nice and down-to-earth way which infuriated me to no end.

Well, she's a Hufflepuff, what should I expect? Ariana isn't conniving or scheming – she's actually a good, genuine person. She doesn't laugh at others pain or spend her free time illegally spraying the tunnels of London. She doesn't barley scrap by in her exams or constantly challenge the rules. She isn't cruel or devious. Snarky or sarcastic. Pessimistic or manipulative.

She's absolutely _nothing _like me.

And the sad part is… that's actually a _good _thing.

Merlin, she's so perfectly _infuriating_!

"Um… thanks," I muttered awkwardly.

She beamed one last time before skipping off to take her spot in the stands with the rest of the student cheering for Gryffindor, which made me feel better. Under my shirt I felt my locket change from a murky green into a deep burning red against my skin.

"Get ready," James called and I mounted my broom.

The wooden doors opened and we flew in, the crowds cheering loudly. The Slytherin's appeared on the other side of the field and I saw Andi and James swoop down to the ground.

"Alright, we want a fair game; need I remind you of the rules?"

Both captains shook their heads.

"Well, then shake hands and good luck too you both!"

Andi and James grasped hands firmly; Prongs looked so serious it was almost comical, while Andi had the nerve to wink at him with a playful grin on her face. They backed away from each other and levitated back towards their teams

"You guys ready?" He asked, but before anybody could answer, as a bludger flew past his ear at a blinding pace, narrowly missing his head by mere millimetres.

"Careful Prongs!" Yelled Sirius who was in pursuit of one of the Slytherin Chasers (Avery I think his name was) who had caught the Quaffle and was speeding down the field at an alarming rate.

Sturgis and Frank got to work straight away, smashing the Bludgers as they chased Marlene into the sky.

"–both of the Seekers seemed to have spotted the Snitch and are in hot pursuit–" I heard the voice of our commentator Ted Tonks over the speaker.

I speed up, feeling the Slytherin Beater Alecto Carrow gaining on my tail, "Gonna get 'cha, ya' silly little Half-Breed,"

"Bite me, bitch," I smirked and looped under using the Sloth Grip Roll manoeuvre and she lost control of her broom as she tried bashing he Bludger into me.

James came in beside me and we raced towards Sirius who had gained possession of the Quaffle.

"–now Avery and Rosier are chasing Black down, oh wait, no Rosier's been hit by a Bludger!–" Ted spoke excitedly into the microphone, "–Potter and O'Conner are speeding down the field to join their fellow Chaser–"

James and I came up behind Avery and squashed him on either side, but in a flash I felt Avery Cobbed me across the jaw, I swerved a little but managed to stay on my broom.

"You bastard!" I yelled, but kept squishing him until he was forced to drop back.

"–that's a foul of Cobbing for Avery Multch, Slytherin Chaser–" Ted said which seemed to get the crowd going, "

James and I flanked Sirius in the Hawkshead Attacking Formation, fending of the other two Chasers (including Rosier who's eye was blackening quite rapidly from his brutal Bludger hit), but we backed off as he entered the scoring area (the two of us didn't want to be accused of Stooging).

Sirius smacked the Quaffle through the third hoop, Macnair tried using the Double Eight Loop manoeuvre, but failed, which wasn't surprising since this was his first year and game being the Slytherin Keeper.

"–Gryffindor's score! Oh wait, Slytherin's in possession of the Quaffle. Avery's swivelling and zig-zaging down the field, he passes to Rosier and then passes under to Andromeda, seems like their using the Woollongong Shimmy technique–"

It was almost impossible to catch them – Sirius, James and I were attempting to follow their seemingly random flight pattern as Frank and Sturgis battered the Bludgers away from us and towards the other Slytherin's.

I saw Sturgis dive, and miss as a Bludger nicked the tail brush of his broom and sent him spiralling down; I had no time to see if he was alright before it came back slammed into the side of James who also fell towards the ground.

Increasing my speed, I set my sights on tailing Andromeda, as she currently had the Quaffle, but seeing this, she swiftly threw it down to Rosier.

Sirius was underneath Andi and I, on the inside of Avery, trying to steer him away from the other two Slytherin Chasers. I watched as Avery tried using the Transylvanian Tackle on him, but realised quickly that wasn't what he was doing at all.

It wasn't fake at all – Avery full on and outright punched Sirius in the nose, straight off his broom.

And he fell.

Fell all the way to the ground.

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**Okay, that was hard. Writing Quidditch games is not an easy feet, but I hope you liked it, even though it was quite short.**

**Also, I know last chapter Ariana seemed like a bit of a bitch – that wasn't intentional. She's meant to be a down-to-earth and moral character, which is why she disagrees with pranking, because she's actually nice.**

**Still, I love hating her.**

**Now, a little Quidditch terminology for those who didn't know what I was going on about;**

_**Sloth Grip Roll**_** – When a player hangs upside down on their broomstick to avoid somebody or something.**

_**Cobbing**_** – Illegal excessive use of elbows towards opponents.**

_**Hawkshead Attacking Formation**_** – Three Chasers fly in triangle shape to force other Chasers aside.**

_**Double Eight Loop**_** – A Keeper flies in front of the three goals at high speed to block the Quaffle.**

_**Stooging**_** – More than one Chaser entering the scoring area (this is illegal for Chasers only).**

_**Woollongong Shimmy**_** – Chasers fly in a zig-zag motion to confuse opposing Chasers.**

_**Transylvanian Tackle**_** – A fake punch to the nose to confuse the opponent (as long as contact is not made, it is not illegal).**

**And now, just as a reference/reminder;**

**Gryffindor Quidditch Team:**

_**Seeker **_**– Marlene McKinnon (4th year)**

_**Beater 1**_** – Frank Longbottom (7th year)**

_**Beater 2**_** – Sturgis Podmore (7th year)**

_**Keeper **_**– Hestia Jones (5th year)**

_**Chaser 1**_** – James Potter (6th year – captain)**

_**Chaser 2**_** – Sirius Black (6th year)**

_**Chaser 3**_** – Riley O'Conner (6th year)**

**Slytherin Quidditch Team:**

_**Seeker **_**– Regulas Black (5th year)**

_**Beater 1**_** – Alecto Carrow (7th year)**

_**Beater 2**_** – Amycus Carrow (7th year)**

_**Keeper **_**– Walden Macnair (3rd year)**

_**Chaser 1**_** – Andromeda Black (7th year – captain*)**

_**Chaser 2**_** – Avery Multch (6th year)**

_**Chaser 3**_** – Evan Rosier (6th year)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 19: Midnight Wanderings

**I'm amazing! Nah, not really… but I did post two chapters in one day (after a long hiatus, I know, and I'm sorry), but anyway, I hope you like this chapter – I do.**

**Wow, big quote this time...**

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_The good old days, the honest man;_

_The restless heart, the Promised Land,_

_A subtle kiss that no one sees;_

_A broken wrist and a big trapeze,_

_Oh well I don't mind, if you don't mind_

_'Cause I don't shine, if you don't shine_

_But before you go,_

_Can you read my mind?_

–_The Killers 'Read My Mind'_

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_Chapter Nineteen:_

I felt physically sick; I'd spent the entire afternoon sitting beside Sirius in the Hospital Wing, a rattling bottle of nerves waiting anxiously on the edge of my seat. He hadn't woken yet, but Madam Le'Dionettre said to give it time, he hit his head pretty hard and completely shattered the bones in his left arm when he hit the ground.

We lost the game, and I'd be a liar if I said it wasn't my fault, but James isn't too angry. He was the one who had to literally hold me back from completely _obliterating _thatAvery bastard – believe me; I had the Cruciatus Curse on my lips.

_Nobody_ shoves _my_ best friend off a broom from a hundred meters up in the air without having to answer to me afterwards. Avery better watch his back from now on.

But eventually, I was asked to leave the Hospital Wing and return to the Gryffindor Tower (with quite a loud protest from me) as it was past curfew already and I had classes the next day.

So now I lay awake in bed, restless with worry – tossing and turning, kicking my blankets away from me in frustration. It was past midnight and I hadn't had so much as a wink of sleep. So finally, I decided I couldn't take it anymore, and snuck into the boys' dorm – the other three were sleeping soundlessly as I swiped the Marauders Map from James's bedside table.

I left as quickly and quietly as I came.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Then I tapped the blank parchment and the dark ink surfaced on the page – my own handiwork, since the others are horrible artists that understand nothing of architectural drawing or scale.

First I checked to see where Madame Le'Dionettre was, and I was glad to find her footprints still 'standing' in her room, which I assumed meant she was asleep.

As I was about to leave, I noticed two sets of footprints standing _very_ close together in the old abandoned East Wing of the sixth floor, and was completely shocked to see the names _Andromeda Black_ and _Ted Tonks_ floating underneath. I made a mental note to question her at a later date about her late night wanderings.

But as for now, I had my own late night wandering to do, so clutching the map between my teeth; I subtly morphed my features into that of a sly fox and left the Gryffindor Tower.

I made no sound as I silently padded my way down the dimly lit corridor, but my animal eyes were finely tuned to the night, so it made little difference.

When I came upon the Infirmary, I morphed back into my usual self and pushed open the doors, closing the gently behind me.

I crept my way towards his bed and kneeled down beside him. His chest was slowly rising and falling, which proved he wasn't dead. That was good.

So I sat back in the chair I had sat in for majority of the afternoon, and now the night also, just watching him – the light of the half-moon streamed through the crack in the curtains and soon my eyes adjusted.

Previously, I'd never noted exactly how… handsome he was. Of course I'd heard it from many of the other girls and, I mean, I'm not blind – I know he's good looking, but I'd never truly viewed him that way. All I could see was that goofy kid with the spark in his deep, stormy grey eyes that I met well before I knew anything of magic.

And maybe I was suffering from midnight sun madness, who knew? But under the moonlight, I could clearly see his well-defined jaw, soft and pale skin, long dark eyelashes and shaggy black bangs that fell into his eyes – eyes that if were open – would be like liquid silver.

Sirius looked so peaceful when he was asleep, and this was enough to make me feel warmth spreading inside me. It was just how it worked between us – if one was bright, the other shined.

I leaned in and brushed the hair off his face, smiling slightly to myself. A warm happy smile.

Then, ever so slowly I leaned in, lightly pressing my lips to his. It was soft and bitter-sweet, but still managed to send shivers down my spine. I don't know why I did it, but I did, even though nothing would ever happen between us, I had kissed him.

He stirred and eyes wearily fluttered open, "Wha–"

I pressed one finger to his lips, "Shhh, your dreaming," I whispered in his ear and he closed his eyes again, falling back into his slumber.

I guess I could have told him then and there, I could have confessed my true feelings, told him of all the bottled emotions I'd been holding in my heart – but then what? Nothing. There'd be nothing. It wouldn't change anything. He had a girlfriend; a nice, sweet girl, one who's good to him and cared for him, and no matter how much I loved him… I could never ruin that. I couldn't take that away from him.

Because I knew in my heart, this is all we'll ever amount to be – a stolen kiss in the dead of the night.

Meaningless.

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**Sorry, shorter chapter than usual but I rather like it. It's bittersweet. Please review, they make my day.**


	20. Chapter 20: Standing in the Background

**Shit, sixty reviews, that's freaking awesome! Just… wow… seriously, thanks all of you who've reviewed/favourite/followed me, it means a lot!**

**Anyway, on with the story…**

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_"Whoever says Friendship is easy, has obviously never had a true friend"_

–_Bronwyn Polson_

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_Chapter Twenty:_

_It had been our first proper game playing for the Gryffindor team together._

_Why he had to knock himself out was beyond me, but he still managed to do it. Idiot. Should have watched for the Bludgers – it's his fault he wasn't looking (no matter how much Frank tries to blame himself)._

_Still, being the dedicated best friend that I was, I still sat quietly beside him, watching him intently for any signs of change._

_Still, there was nothing. None at all._

_I sighed, folding my arms across my chest, "Why won't you wake up? Please just wake up…"_

"_R…Ri-Ril…Ri-ley," I heard him mumble, which snapped me back into sense._

_Did he just say my name?_

"_Rile-y… Riley…"_

_I started at him curiously, wondering why on earth he was calling for me._

_It wasn't like I was anything special._

There was a pain in my neck, a stale cramp that cracked as I moved my head. Something hard pressed into the small of my back as I fidgeted around, desperately attempting to get comfortable and fall back asleep, but failing spectacularly in the process.

I could feel the warmth of sunlight through my shut eyelids, so grudgingly, I cracked open an eye to survey my surroundings.

"Well, good morning, sweet-heart," Madame Le'Dionettre loomed over me.

I realised that I was sitting curled up in the chair beside Sirius's bed, "… Sup,"

"Now, you broke the rules last night, but I guess I can let it slide this time… It must be hard to see your boyfriend in such a state, but you've already missed the first two classes…"

"He's not my boyfriend," I muttered sourly.

She looked surprised but smiled all the same, "Oh, your brother then… you don't look very alike…"

I shook my head, "Just a friend, I'm… just a friend,"

A wry smile replaces her previously confused look, "Of course you are," Madame Le'Dionettre spoke condescendingly and I frowned, "But you still should get to class, you can come back and see him later – he should be awake then,"

With grudging effort, I stood up, feeling pins and needles course through my legs as I began walking towards my Common Room, vaguely aware of the fact I was still wearing my pyjamas. Entering through the painting, Gryffindor Tower was near empty, with nothing but a few studying seventh years, putting their free periods to good use. They didn't even acknowledge my presence.

I'm not surprised – I lost them all the first game of the year.

When I got upstairs, my dorm was thankfully empty. Grabbing my school uniform from under my bed, I got changed as quickly as I could with my sore limbs. Then, taking a glance in the mirror on my way out, I realised how rugged I truly looked.

My natural copper curls had fallen in my face in a giant knotted mass, and my left eye had turned a lovely bruised purple and black from where Avery elbowed me, as well as the bags that had taken place under them from lack of sleep. I tried to reverse the effects as best as I could, but you can never fully morph an injury.

I was a wreak, inside and out.

Overhead, I heard the bells sound signing the start of the third class, so I quickly collected my Charms books and bolted down the stairs. I think we had it with Hufflepuff today.

When I reached the Charms classroom, I quickly took my seat beside James, right before the Professor burst into the room.

"How is Sirius?" Prongs whispered.

"Still asleep, we can visit later," I murmured back.

"'Kay," He replied and we continued to listen to the Professor Unglik rambling on about something that I couldn't comprehend – Merlin, I suck at Charms. I attempted to follow on and take notes, but eventually became lost in his words and reverted to sketching different mural designs at the bottom of the parchment.

When the class was finally over, I went to leave, but was stopped, "Excuse me, Miss O'Conner," Professor Unglik spoke up, "Could I please talk to you about your grades…"

Those are the words no student ever wants to hear from her teacher.

I put down my books and turned around, "What about them?" I asked with a note of suspicion in my voice.

Professor Unglik smiled sympathetically, "You see Riley, I know you have your heart set on becoming and Auror, but, you barley scraping by in my class…"

"And?"

"You barley passed last exam, and I'm afraid, if you don't improve you overall mark for the semester, I'll have to cut you from my class, which would mean…"

"… I won't be able to become and Auror," I frowned, feeling my heart contract as if all the life had been sucked out of it.

"But I do have an idea, because I really do think you'd make a good Auror and I'd hate to cut you out…"

I raised an eyebrow, hope beginning to trickle back into my mind, "Whatever it is, I'll do it, I swear I will!"

"I've set you up with a tutor, she's already agreed to it and would be happy help you," He smiled, clapping his hands together.

"Great, who is it?" I asked excitedly.

His grin widened, "Do you know Ariana Shaklebolt?"

* * *

"Hey Riley!" A bright and exited voice rang through my slugging mind.

I sat up with a jolt, knocking over the salt and pepper, "What! Where! Who's attacking!?"

Ariana sat down beside me, "You look tired,"

I sighed, "I feel tired… and dead… like a zombie… _blah_,"

It seemed that I had survived the day without passing out, but as soon as banquet started, I began drifting off, up until the point where my head finally down _thunked_ onto the wooden table beside my dinner. Everybody around me just left me there to sleep – I needed it.

She smiled warmly at me, "Sorry, I was just wondering how Sirius was going… I haven't had a chance to visit him yet, with Prefect meetings and Charms club… so how is he,"

I yawned, "The bones in his arms were completely shattered. Madame Le'Dionettre decided it'd be easier to remove the bone and regrow it, instead of trying to piece together the many shards like some kind of impossible jigsaw-puzzle,"

She nodded, "Is he awake yet?"

I shook my head, "Sadly, no – I was about to visit him, if you'd… like to come, I guess you could,"

Oh Merlin, did I _seriously_ just give Ariana permission to visit _her own boyfriend_? A boyfriend of whom I kissed without him knowing so last night, and in quite a creepy manner, night I add.

She shrugged with a quiet smile, apparently not noticing my evident rudeness, "Sure, I've got time before Astronomy Club starts,"

I felt my knuckles clench under the table. That fact that she hadn't yet visited Sirius and that it had to be plotted into her busy schedule made my detestation for the bright and smiley girl deepen – if he isn't that important to her, why bother at all? Of course, that might also be the jealousy talking… oh well, I'm allowed to loathe who I wish to loathe – there's no law against it. I think.

"C'mon, then," I deadpanned and I walked off, her following with a spring in her step.

Ariana was the first the break the silence, "You know, I want to be a healer when I leave school…"

I stopped to look at her, "Why?"

The corners of her mouth twitched into a small smile, "Well, I know it's not exactly a flashy or well-paid job, but I guess I just like… helping people," She paused to look up at me, "What about you? What do you want to do?"

I stared at her, "Why do you ever care?"

The smile fell from her face, replaced with a look of genuine confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Well, usually Sirius's girlfriends hate me and act as if I'm invisible… why so you act so… nice… to me," I finished awkwardly, the sentence not coming out as I'd planned.

She gaped at me yet still answered plainly, "Well, because you're his friend and any friend of Sirius's is a friend of mine. Plus, he talks about you all the time, it's hard not to wonder what you're like…"

I gave her a sceptical look, "Are you serious? That's it – no ulterior motive or anything?"

She shrugged, "You know, it's sad that you expected one, but that doesn't change my original question,"

I just looked at her blankly, "An Auror… I-I want to be an Auror,"

"Well, that wasn't so hard," Ariana beamed at me, "And don't worry, I'm sure we'll get to know each other much better during our tutoring sessions, anyway,"

"Right…"

It was a short time later when we reached the Infirmary. Sirius was still sleeping, but he appeared restless, murmuring something under his breath.

"Did he just say something?" Ariana asked me, looking puzzled, as she stood beside him gently stroking his hand with her thumb.

Her voice snapped me back into reality, "I-I'm not sure,"

"A-Ari…"

She crouched beside him, big brown doe eyes staring widely at him, "Yes, what is it?"

"Ar-Aria… Ari-Ariana…" He murmured and I felt my heart drop like a dead weight in my chest.

"It's okay I'm here," She smiled warmly, kneeling down beside him and clasping his hand.

Suddenly, I felt as if I shouldn't be there – like some sort of sick-bay third-wheel. When would I ever get it into my head that I'm not the number one girl in his life anymore? Probably never, knowing my stubborn self as well as I do. But none the less, it still hurt, standing in the background watching him mutter _her_ name and hold _her _hand – not mine.

So, I did the only thing I could do…

I walked away.

* * *

"I cannot believe you kissed him?! That's so… creepy, Riley, and maybe an _itsy-bitsy_ bit cute, but mostly just it's just plain creepy!" Alice stared at me a horrified expression on her face.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, I know – I'm a creeper, sue me,"

She stared curiously at me, "Sue you…?"

I waved off her questions, "It's a Muggle term, like a legal accusation,"

"Well, in that case, Ariana might if she ever found out," Alice tutted in disapproval.

I frowned, "Oh, save me the lecture, Alice. It was wrong and I get that, so get over it,"

"So what are you going to do? Obviously, you're unable to act sanely around your best friend or civilly around his girlfriend, so what's your plan?" She asked, frowning slightly in thought.

"I… have no fucking idea," I sighed resting my head on the table.

Ariana shrugged and stated plainly, "How about you just avoid them, Sirius never keeps any girlfriend for long, you _know_ that,"

I sighed, "There are two problems with that plan, one; I can't avoid either one of them, since Ariana is tutoring me in Charms and Sirius is my potions partner and, uh, I dunno, _my best friend_, which generally implies we see each other often," I paused and then continued, "And two; I don't see them breaking up any time soon, his other girlfriends were total bitches, and they were doomed from the start, but Ariana… he'd be stupid to break up with her – she's so fucking _nice_!"

"Well then you're in a bit of trouble, aren't you," Alice looked at me, her lips pursed into a tight line.

"What, did you get detention _again_?" Asked Andi as she sat down opposite us, "You know that sorta shit goes on your record, right?"

"Yes, I am in fact aware of that… and it's not like you can talk, sneaking around with Ted-bloody-Tonks every night," I gave her a wry smile accompanied by a wink as her face fell.

Alice's jaw dropped, "_Why is this the first time I'm hearing of this_?!"

Andi glared at me, "You're dead, O'Conner,"

I smirked, "Tell me something I don't know…"

* * *

**Please review!**


	21. Chapter 21: An Interesting Tutor Session

**I AM NOT DEAD!**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've had some… uh… personal****stuff going on (very good personal stuff!) and I've been in a very creative slump lately. Then add in school work + karate training and I haven't had a moment to write anything.**_** Blah**_**.**

**But now I'm on Holidays, thou shall update more often!**

**Anyway, here's the long awaited chapter… that is, if my readers still remember this FanFic exists at all after the long hiatus.**

**It's just really hard to write a tragic love story when I'm SO FREAKING HAPPY!**

* * *

_'You cannot open a book without learning something'_

_–Confucius_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-One:_

"What colour is Golem blood again?" Asked Sirius as the both of us stood over the cauldron of inky black liquid that bubbled and fizzed.

"Dark purple," I muttered as I checked the different vials and bottles scattered along the bench. We were never ones to keep clear and clean work space. It defeated the purpose of potion making, which was first and foremost, a bloody great mess.

He leaned over the book, a puzzled look plastered on his face, "Well it says we need four drops in the cauldron…"

"When?"

He looked at his watch, biting his lip, "Three seconds ago,"

My eyes went wide and I quickly threw the bottle at him, "Oh Merlin!"

He flipped open the flask and carefully dripped for drops into the inky liquid.

"Okay, now it should turn a milky purple-grey," I read from the book.

Sirius frowned, head looming over the cauldron filled with bright violet mixture, "Well, it's certainly turning… purple,"

I shrugged, "Good enough for me, what's the next step?"

He grinned and read from the book, "Add crushed scarab beetle and pulverised threetle bone,"

"Is there even a difference between crushing and pulverising?" I asked.

"Apparently,"

"Intriguing,"

"Indeed," Sirius chuckled as we got on with our work.

I couldn't help but sneak peeks at him out of the corner of my eye every once and a while. Just watching him work – chopping various ingredients and reading out instructions from the book in his cool velvety voice – it was mesmerising. I'd always found a fascination in the beauty of somebody in their element. The concentration on their faces. The light spark in their eyes. Completely at peace with themselves as their mind ticked away while they immersed themselves in their passion.

It was James when he rode a broom, Remus whenever he studied, Peter during Care of magical Creatures and Sirius while brewing potions. Everybody had something; they just had to find it.

Of course I had my own, there was my art; my murals which I missed more dearly than anything else while away from home.

"Is there any reason why you're staring at me? Do I have something… unnatural… on my face?" Sirius asked, looked confused and slightly irritated.

I jumped slightly, blinking as my foggy mind found its way back towards reality, "N-No… sorry, just zoned out…"

He grinned, his usual cute lopsided sheepish smile, "Well, I need help with this bit,"

I nodded and did as Sirius said – he was after all, the expert here.

* * *

"I… still don't get it,"

Ariana sighed, "It's quite simple, just–"

I laughed bitterly, "Uh, no, it's obviously not 'quite simple' otherwise don't you think I would have _got it by now_,"

She ignored my rudeness with her usual sharp yet elegantly kind grace and continued as if I hadn't spoken, "You just need to a little more ridged and sharp with your wrist action and less… smooth; otherwise your connection with the object will simply… slip away. It's just not strong enough,"

"I'm an artist all my wrist movements are smooth. I can't be trained out of it; I don't want to be either," I frowned at the thought.

"You should still try, at least," She smiled and demonstrated the charm once again, her bucket and scrubbing brush beginning to scrub the floor of the abandoned girl's bathroom. Soapy water flooded the cracked tiles flowed into the drain, "I'm sure you'll get it with practise!"

"She probably won't, she's hopeless at magic…" Interrupted Moaning Murtle with a smug smirk on her face.

"Go find somebody else to haunt," I snapped and threw my brush through her hovering head.

"Watch it!" She squealed.

I scoffed, folding my arms across my chest, "Why? You're dead, remember, it's not like–"

"Stop it, the both of you. I'm trying to tutor here!" Ariana snapped her book together with a sharp _crack_.

With a sniff, the ghost melted back through the cubical door.

"Yeah, go sulk in your toilet Murtle," I muttered under my breath.

"Why are you always so argumentative?" Asked Ariana, a foul look of her face.

I shrugged nonchalant, "Why are you always so not?"

"I'm a Hufflepuff," She answered simply.

I stared at her curiously, "Sometimes I wonder; are you nice because you're a Hufflepuff, or are you a Hufflepuff because you're nice?"

"Well, sometimes _I_ wonder if you're arrogant because you're a Gryffindor, or are you a Gryffindor because you're arrogant?"

I smirked, "No, I've always been arrogant,"

"And I guess I've always tried to be as nice as possible," She smiled warmly.

_And that is why Sirius loves you and not me…_ I thought bitterly to myself, but soon supressed the negative thought.

I squinted my eyes at her, "So… you actually _do_ sometimes feel as if you want to rip somebodies head of in cold blooded murder, you know, like a normal person?

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, I get annoyed sometimes, like everybody does," She laughed, "But I just ignore and supress it, negative thoughts will get you nowhere,"

I gave her a sceptical look, "I'm a pessimist, and I'm going somewhere. Everybody ends up somewhere, although it may not be where you planned – you'll still be there, and there is still a somewhere,"

"Do you ever make sense?" She asked with a slight smile of her face.

"No, not really. It takes a special type of person to learn my language," I grinned.

"Like Sirius?"

"Exactly like Sirius. He's been my best friend since we were little kids, he'd better k now by now how to speak crazy," I smiled to myself at the memories.

She shuffled uncomfortably, avoiding my eyes, "Was he ever… more than a friend?"

Slightly taken aback by the question, I tried not to laugh and I answered, "God no! That would be… weird and… unnatural. We're simply best friends, always have been and always will be,"

Ariana smiled with what appeared to be relief, unknowing of the fact that I was lying through my teeth.

* * *

**I know it's short and not my best writing, but I just wanted to post **_**something**_**.**

**Please review, they make my day!**


	22. Chapter 22: Fraying Pieces of Friendship

**Ugh, I've been in the WORST creative slump ever lately. Sorry guys, but please don't give up on me just yet!**

**Please…**

**And Gapster, thanks for hounding me. I wouldn't have been able to compete this chapter without your persuasion in our Spam-Group-Chat (also, good luck in this science test – if I didn't find it hard, I doubt you'd need to bat an eyelid for it).**

* * *

_Some things we don't talk about,_

_Rather do without,_

_And just hold the smile,_

_Falling in and out of love,_

–_The Fray 'Never Say Never'_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Two:_

Remus slammed the Daily Prophet to the table, "Read this rubbish," he ordered, red in the face with raging anger. An unusual sight to be seen on our dear friend.

James picked up the newspaper, pushing his rectangular glasses up his nose and read aloud, "_Due to the recent disappearances, all surrounding the night of the full moon, we conclude alongside other incriminating evidence that werewolves are to blame for the vanishing of the Carlington family_… do you want me to continue, Moony?"

"It's an absolute outrage!" Lupin slammed the table with his fist, rattling my bowl of cereal.

"Mate, we get it, but calm down…" Sirius urged Remus as people began staring at us.

I frowned, completely ignoring Sirius, "I know, I read the article earlier. People have been randomly vanishing for the last few months, and one time it's on the night of the full moon – it's suddenly the werewolves fault,"

"Exactly! The Ministry have been pressured for ages to finding the culprits, and now that they've found somebody to blame, they'll make up all the evidence they need," Lupin growled in frustration.

"What if it actually _was_ a werewolf though?" Peter offered with a mouth full of scrambled egg.

I scoffed, "Don't be stupid, Wormy,"

Suddenly Sirius's head snapped up, "Ah _shit_! I just remembered… fuck, I've gota go guys!" he jumped up and ran out of the Great Hall like a bullet.

"Does anybody know what that was about…?" Peter frowned in confusion.

I knew exactly what he'd forgotten and why he'd left in such a hurry and right now, I felt like a bitch for not mentioning it to Sirius before. Caroline Carlington had been Ariana's best friend before her untimely… disappearance; they were inseparable (almost to the point of Sirius and I). Now she was gone and her boyfriend hadn't realised.

"Weren't Adriana and Caroline good friends or something like that?" James asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Remus gave me a knowing and disapproving look and I gulped mumbling something along the lines of, "I think so…"

Peter smirked, "Wow, he screwed up big time then,"

James scoffed, "You can't judge, you know nothing about girls, Wormtail…"

"Says the guy who's been chasing after the same shelia since Third Year," He smirked.

James scowled, glaring at peter from across the table, "I will get Lily… eventually. I just need time,"

"What you need is to get a new strategy," I murmured to myself under my breath.

Peter laughed (not hearing my words), "Ten galleons you won't,"

"Ten galleons I will," James challenged.

"Deal."

"_Deal_."

Remus just sat there shaking his head, "This won't end well…"

I rolled my eyes, "Their bet's _never_ end well… for anybody," Feeling less squeamish that Moony's attentions had shifted, but still uncomfortable in my seat, I excused myself from the table – hitching my satchel over my shoulder as I stood.

But, I felt a soft tug on my leather bag strap and turned, "Um, could I talk to you…" Remus asked nervously. By the look on his face he'd meant he needed to talk to me outside the hearing vicinity of the two idiots squabbling to our left.

With a small smile I nodded and we left, unconsciously heading towards the library.

Once we were further enough away from the crowded halls for us to be away from I asked with a serious note in my voice, "Okay. You're acting weird. What's wrong, Remus?"

"I'm really worried about this werewolf thing… and you seem to be the only one taking it seriously, so I was wondering if you'd help me approach Dumbledore about it. I just need to know if it really is… us werewolves," he bit his lip, seeming so very unsure of himself.

I placed my hand on his arm in reassurance, "Of course it's not the werewolves!"

He frowned, "But what if it is? What if it really _is_ our fault?"

I gripped his shoulders squeezing them tightly and spoke sternly, "Our fault? No. No, not at all. Even if you are right and this is in fact the doing of rogue werewolves – which I do not believe to be correct – it is _their_ fault. Not yours. You're not like them Remus, you're more than a werewolf. You're a wizard and a person and a friend Remus – don't ever forget that…"

"Thanks…" Moony smiled lopsidedly, an unsure and sad kind of smile. A smile that showed subtle optimism, but mostly weariness and a wish for ending. I'd be tired too if I had to deal with what he dealt with day after day.

"But if you still want to see Dumbledore, I'll come, okay?" I smiled and pulled him into a hug. It was a reassuring hug, a friendly hug. Nothing more and nothing less.

I heard something drop in the background – a book. The two of us broke apart to see who the book-dropper was.

Sirius stood there, an unusual – but mainly confused – look plastered across his face, "I'm sorry for interrupting, guys… I'll just… go… sorry…" he shuffled uncomfortably, picking up the book off the ground.

Sirius met my eyes for a second; giving me a very firm and inquisitive look. The kind that told me we were going to have a very long talk later.

"This really isn't what it looks like…" Remus begun but Sirius just smirked mischievously.

"You guys don't need to explain anything to me," Then he turned around and walked away whistling.

I didn't know what was worse, the fact that he'd seen me hugging Remus (and a purely friendly hug at that), that fact he'd automatically drew _that_ conclusion or that fact he'd been completely okay with it all. It hadn't bothered him in the slightest – okay, yes Sirius had been surprised – but he'd in no way had the same seething look in his eyes as I did whenever I saw Ariana and him together.

I slid down to the ground, face in hands, "How do I manage to screw everything up?"

Remus frowned in disagreement, "You don't screw anything up… If anybody should be sorry, it's me… I know you like Sirius… I'd be a fool to ever think we... us could… don't worry, I'm sorry,"

He walked away shaking his head, appearing to be lost deep in thought, before I could say anything to combat his words. How was any of this his fault? I was the one who hugged him – I just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself.

And believe me; I'm getting really tired of it.

* * *

"Why am I such a screw up?" I asked Marvin for the thousandth time, but he just looked up at me with the same intelligent eyes as always, unable to communicate his thoughts across. Mainly because he cannot actually speak English. Partly because even if he could speak, I wouldn't have wanted to hear his answer anyway, because I know he'd tell me the truth. Yes, my good old friend Marvin, he would tell me exactly how I ended up where I am now. He'd explain it simply for me. Plainly. Dully.

But even then, my mind would still probably be as muddled as it is now – hence why I hadn't yet tried any spells to make him speak in a way I could understand.

Although this didn't mean I'd stop asking the animal questions as I sat with him, curled up in my favourite on the rug next to the crackling fire in Gryffindor Tower. By now everybody had retreated to their beds as the time was dwindling in the early hours of the morning.

I didn't particularly mind – tomorrow was Sunday.

"Can see you're still talking to yourself. That's not a good sign, especially with your low levels of sanity, Vix," The low voice of my best friend Sirius Black said from behind.

I smiled ever so slightly, "Only you could sneak up on a fox twice in one day, Padfoot,"

He waked over to take a seat beside me, "So, when were you planning on telling me?"

I stared at him for a moment, "Telling you what?"

Sirius gave me a blank look, "Don't play games. I'm talking about Remus and you… I'm your best friend, Riley; I'm meant to know everything about you. It's in the job description,"

"There is _nothing_ between Remus and me. Let me be clear with that," I said sternly, "And even if there was, I don't need to tell you. I didn't know a thing about Ariana until you were official to the public eye. Where was my employee discount into the inner workings of your love life?

He gave me a sceptical look, "It didn't look that way from where I was standing… and I did tell you about Ariana, over week before I actually worked up the nerve to ask her out,"

"What are you talking about? No you didn't…" I gave him a confused look, tilting my head to the side slightly.

Now it was his turn to look puzzled, "Um, yes I did, at Ted Tonks's party in the Room or Requirement… remember, we were sitting down talking… you told me she was an annoyingly bubbly goody-two-shoes Hufflepuff and completely not my type… then you threw up…"

"I'd drunk like six cups of Firewhisky that night, so you can't blame me for chucking and not remembering any of it after…" I tried to justify my reckless actions, "So why didn't you try talking to me when I was sober?"

He laughed bitterly, "You made it pretty clear you didn't approve, so I didn't raise the subject again,"

I scoffed, "Since when have you ever needed my approval to date girls?"

"I can't believe you. You're the reason I can never even keep a girlfriend… you always get them to dump me in one way or another," Sirius raised his voice slightly, deep swirling grey eyes, hardening in to raging silver discs.

I gaped at him in shock and anger, "Oh, so it's my fault now? Guy's don't even approach me because they're terrified that'll you'll skin them alive if they do! And you say I'm the one with issues?"

Sirius laughed bitterly, "Really? Remus seemed to be doing just fine…"

"Merlin, how many times do I have to say it? There's nothing between us! We're just friends! Why do you even care anyway, you've got _Ariana Shacklebolt_?"

"Maybe I _don't _care!"

"Yeah? Well neither do I!"

Then I stormed off up the stairs towards the girl's dorms in a fit of pure white hot rage, but instead of opening the door to my room, I ran straight to the bathroom – fighting away the tears that threatened to shed.

Standing in front of the mirror, breathing heavy, I looked up at myself and my shifting appearance. Slowly, I worked my way into the shape of Ariana. Smooth dark skin, deep chocolate brown eyes and thick locks of ebony hair. A curvy build, with meat in all the right places that stretched the pyjamas I was wearing and a bright dazzling smile to wrap it all up.

It wasn't me.

No, I was scrawny and bony and pasty white with freckles and crocked teeth and dull copper curls, then a childish and strange dress sense to match that ranged far away from what was considered ordinarily fashionable.

That was what I saw when I looked at my reflection. That was me. The real me.

In anger, I grasped the first thing I could find and hurled it at the mirror with all the strength I had. I didn't care what it was, all I knew what that I preferred to look at myself through the cracks.

* * *

**I feel as if my writing quality has dropped lately… I don't know. Maybe I'm just being weird or maybe it's just that I'm currently distracted.**

**Oh, and I **_**finally**_** included Peter… it's just so hard… my hatred for him lays so deep… right in the heart…**

**I'm currently listening to The Fray **_**'Never Say Never' **_**(hence this chapter's quote) which always seems to get me into an 'Exceptionally Ordinary' fan fiction writing mood (the band, not the song), although I'm still in on the Coldplay hype since they released the official music video for **_**'Hurts Like Heaven'**_** which left me awestruck beyond belief… O_o**

**I'm ordering you ALL to go watch it. **_**Now. **_**It's on YouTube (like everything else in the world).**

**This was quite a packed chapter in a way of overall plot development. I hope you enjoyed reading and please review!**

…**this is a long note…**

…**bye…**


	23. Chapter 23: Shards of Something Broken

**I apologise, I know this chapter's a bit rough (I'll probably come back and re-write some parts), but majority of it was written in an airport terminal, some on the plane and other bits between connecting flights.**

**Now, to my reviewer **_**Sponaventea **_**(also known as my boyfriend), I do not believe my story needs any molestation in it. At all. You can go write that yourself, in your own time (as I know you already do).**

* * *

_I need a miracle,_

_A star-crossed lover,_

_An arrow in my heart,_

_I need a rainy day,_

_And an endless summer,_

_A pocket full of stars,_

–_Nine Black Alps 'Pocket Full of Stars'_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Three:_

"What the hell…?" The voice had appeared from behind, and I didn't even care, "Merlin! What happened in here?"

I turned around to have my eyes fall upon Lily, who was standing in the doorway with a confused look spread across her face and surprise imbedded in her bright emerald eyes.

"What do _you_ want?" I asked acidly, in absolutely no mood for her at the moment.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a note of genuine concern in her voice. I didn't hear it.

I laughed bitterly, "Do I _look_ okay to you? Is that _really _what this pretty picture portrays? That I'm _'okay'_?"

"You don't need to be rude; it was just a question…" She frowned taking a step forward, and I heard the shards of mirror crack under her step, "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up,"

"I don't need help, least alone from _you_ of all people," I scowled as I rejected her outstretched helping hand and stood up myself, dusting off my pyjamas.

"I'm trying to be _nice_," She frowned at me.

I shrugged, not particularly caring, "Well I'm not,"

Lily glared at me as she calmly pulled out her wand and swiftly muttered the words, "_Mirrato Reparo_," the shards picked themselves up of the floor and fixed themselves into place, "No need to thank me,"

I scoffed in pride, "Wasn't planning on it, I could have done that myself, you know,"

She ignored my rude comment and outstretched her hand, placing a brass key in my palm, "Go to the Prefect bathroom… clean yourself up a bit. It'll help, I promise. The password is 'grumblesnark', don't tell anybody I told you,"

Then she turned to leave without another word, but I stopped her right before she reached the door, "You hate me… why are you helping me?"

She gave me a sad smile and stated simply, "Because you need it,"

And then the girl with emerald eyes and fiery ringlets was gone, and I was all alone once again.

* * *

It was close to two in the morning as I made my way towards the fourth door on the fifth floor and stopped just left of the statue of Boris the Bewildered and muttered, "Grumblesnark," under my breath.

I'd been in this room before – however obviously against the rules – in my fourth year for a Halloween prank. Sirius, James and I transfigured the water in the bath into blood, or at least a liquid that resembled blood in colour and consistency. It was enough to fool a group of particularly jittery and frightened Hufflepuff Prefects, anyhow, but then again it was also enough to land Sirius, James and I in detention for the next month also. Funny how it'd taken until now for me to realise that Ariana had been one of those Prefects we pranked. The three of us had been ordered to go and apologise to the girls, I hadn't gone with James and Sirius in stubborn defiance as it went directly against my belief of not apologising for things I am not sorry for, and I had defiantly not been sorry for that prank. It had been genius.

Had that been the day Sirius meet Ariana? Had they met before that? Later? If I had been there on that day, would things be different now?

I could only speculate as I stepped into the cool water. The room was dark, lit by only the moonlight that steamed through the stain glass window. I didn't light any candles (despite my love of fire) in fear of being found out and dragged dripping to professor McGonagall's office.

Closing my eyes, I dipped my head beneath the water. Without light it was inky-black, moving coolly like silk ribbons between my fingers. I'd always loved the water, and in my childhood had taken countless dips in the lake and was constantly awaiting school swimming days.

I morphed myself a set gills and web fingers, letting myself breathe easy under the water. The webbed fingers were easy to shift – just extra skin – but the respiratory system was a tricky piece of anatomy and growing gills took me months of time spent in the lake over the summer to perfect. Even now, it still felt weird to breathe in the liquid and I was constantly second guessing myself on weather I'd morphed correctly, because they're nothing pleasant about a lung full of dirty river water – believe me, I've been there.

There was something about the dark murky pool that calmed my mind, my thoughts still lingered on Sirius of course, but at least now they were no longer irrational and heated by argument.

Had he really told me about his plan for asking out Ariana at Ted Tonks's party?

I'd say he did, and I'd say that what he told me about my own drunken actions were also true. You see, Sirius had the habit of always speaking the truth, or not speaking at all, much unlike myself whom is a self-proclaimed compulsive liar (although others have granted me with the name also). This is part of the reason why it is usually James and I who must spin a complex (and most likely outrageously unbelievable) web of lies, while Sirius remains still and silent beside us, his stony-grey gaze an off-putter for most of our adversaries while we engage verbal combat – which is really just a pretentious way of saying that we'd developed and very un-fool-proof method of talking our way out of trouble with the Professors.

I wasn't sure on exactly how long I'd been submerged, when I heard scraping muffled by the water. Curiously, I peeked to see where the sound had come from, letting only from the crown of my head to my eyes surface.

My view was blurred by the water in my eyes, but still through the darkness I could see none other than Remus clutching the sink basin, head hung. His hair was damp, his t-shirt almost soaked through with sweat. For a few minutes I just sat there hidden in the water, watching like a nymph as he stood their panting.

It was strange, watching him like this. I'd always had an admiration for my friend Moony; he was the strong one, the solid one in our band of troublemakers. It was a rare sight indeed to witness even a shred of weakness in him, which for most people could be understandable, but for him it was… almost impossible.

Not once had I seen him break down or shed a tear. Not when I watched his bones crack and skin rip open during his inhuman transformation under full moon, not in the days after when I sat by his bed looking down on him as he shook with fever and trashed against his braces as Madam ?'s poured steaming potion straight into his deepest wounds.

"Oh Remus…" I whispered to myself, almost accidentally.

He froze, then slowly turned around to face me, "Riley, w-what are you doing here?"

I bit my lip and stepped out of the pool, slowly edging my way towards him, "It… it doesn't matter… but a-are _you_ okay?"

He looked up at me with sad eyes, and breathed heavily, "... No,"

"Do you need anything?" I asked him, sitting him down on the stone steps beside the giant bath.

He leaned down, head on his knees and all I could do was sit there, "It's in my head, Riley, all locked up in the tiny little corners… little things, little snippets of memory. Ripping. Cutting. Gnawing. D-During the day I can r-remember… just can't remember… but in the n-n-night? The _l-little_ things come back… and I _remember it, _Riley. I remember h-hurting myself, s-scratching at my own _flesh_ …"

I wrapped my arms around his head, pulling him close to me, "It's going to be okay…" I whispered as I stroked his head, I wasn't even sure if that was the truth. We sat like that for a while, both dripping wet and unsure of the difference between water and tears.

Everybody has their weak moments I guess, and nobody likes being caught during them because you may put up a brave face every day, you may smile and laugh and supress your sadness, but eventually all that pressure's going to build and you're going to break. All that bottled up emotion flooding your senses at once.

After that, all you need to do is pick up the pieces and reassemble your puzzle. Adjust your composure. Plaster that smiling face back on no matter how much you don't mean it. Make sure you're ready to let others see you again.

Pulling away, I brushed his damp hair out of his brilliantly blue eyes, "You'll be okay, Remus… you'll be okay…"

He shook his head slowly, "No, I won't…" he whispered, then did the unthinkable;

Remus John Lupin pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss.

* * *

**DON'T. KILL. ME. JUST. YET.**

**Sorry about the cliff-hanger, but it is 5:01am in the morning on the aeroplane (I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP! RAGE!) and I think my computer light is bugging people… Lol. I don't care.**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, but this is still a Sirius and Riley story (don't forget that!), I'm just playing God and messing up all their lives. Haha.**

**I'm aware that this chapter is slightly depressing, I think it's because I was listing to The Fray again while writing the last part… anyway… PLEASE REVIEW IN THE NAME OF THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN!**

**(Yeah, I was watching that while I wrote… it's an epic movie…)**

**O_o**


	24. Chapter 24: A Secret Order

**Aloha all! I just want to state that I've been politely informed that I tend to 'ramble' by my reviewer **_**Petpolka **_**(thanks for telling me by the way) and just want to say that I'm sorry about that, but I'm stubborn, so I'm not going to be changing my writing style, even if it is slightly ramble-ish.**

**ANYWAY, ON WITH THE FANFICTION!**

* * *

_"I may say it was your fault,_

_Because I know you could have done more,_

_Oh you're so naive yet so,_

_How could this be done?_

_By such a smiling sweetheart,_

_Oh and your sweet and pretty face,_

_In such an ugly world,_

_Something so beautiful."_

–_The Kooks 'Naive'_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Four:_

Ever since I was a small child I'd held a great appreciation for small, tight spaces; those little nooks and crannies where you could curl up in a ball and pretend that there isn't a world outside. Places where you could never be heard and never be found, no matter if you sing, cry or even die.

It had always seemed that I as a child had a talent for finding such places – as my grandmother always said 'notice what no one else notices, and you'll know what no one else knows' – so I'd look, and I'd find these little dwellings that are overlooked by all else. These are the places where the dust stops shifting, the insects come to die and time forgets to turn.

Now Hogwarts was home to many such places, and one I was particularly fond of was a small loft in the rafters of the astronomy tower, which was where I sat now, draped in the invisibility cloak, one earbud in and blasting Nirvana while carving my name into the wooden beam beneath my feet.

I felt as if I'd spent the entire day avoiding people. Avoiding Sirius and his stony, emotionless eyes. Avoiding Lily and her knowing and pitying smiles. Avoiding Remus and that confused look he's been wearing ever since last night.

Eventually I'd gotten tired of peering around corners to check if any of them were there. I needed to escape to somewhere I could clear my head, which I know is really just a really stupid excuse for me to run away from my problems, by my mind was to weighed down with muddle that minute to care.

I heard the whispers of fait voices began to trail up the corridor, before the door burst open and a horde of witches and wizards walked into the Astronomy Tower.

The first to enter I recognised as the young and grinning Arthur Weasley accompanied a pregnant and soon to be married Molly Prewett and her stony faced elder brother Gideon, who gave me my fair share of detentions in his Prefect days.

Second entered a familiar face, past Head Boy Kingsley Shacklebolt pushed through by a short gruff man with a scared face that seemed to have been cut roughly out of wood and one dark brown eye, then another a frightening electric blue strapped to his face. He hobbled into the room, eye surveying the area around him, "I brought Shacklebolt. He's good," was all he said.

But, the next couple to stumble through those doors surprised me more than any other, as I watched James's parents; Mr and Mrs Potter stroll in as if they were meant to be here with their young house elf Dotty following along behind, a giant grin on her face as usual.

Shifting slightly to get a better look of down below, I saw three more enter the room before shutting the door – two of which I recognised to be none other than the regal Professor McGonagall and then Dumbledore himself, accompanied by a rough looking goat-like man who bore a very striking resemblance to the man beside him, with the same thin wiry build, bright blue eyes and obscenely long beard, although his was less kept than the Professors.

Not one person was smiling.

"Welcome. You all know why we're here, there is a new threat rising, something of the likes we've never seen before," Dumbledore spoke in his usual calm yet commanding voice.

Harriet Potter was the first to speak, "You speak of the disappearances, yes?"

The man missing a leg snorted, "Nah, we be talkin' 'bout the latest Quidditch results! 'Course it's the bloody disappearances and much more!"

"No need to snap, Alastor, just because you're constantly faced with imminent death doesn't mean you can't be polite," Scolded the man who resembled Dumbledore.

"_Constant vigilance_! That's all this Order needs!" He yelled, then chuckled, "You should know Aberforth, you run a bar after all…"

"Oh shut your gob Mad-Eye, we're all sick to death of that mantra," Arthur joked.

The man (quite correctly) nicknamed Mad-Eye grumbled, "It won't be sickness that'll be your endin' if you don't start lookin' beyond your bloody noses…"

"Oh, will you all be _quiet?_ You're disturbing Bill!" Molly said in a motherly voice that commanded respect as she felt her large belly, "And we have many very important matters to discuss also," She added on as an afterthought.

"Quite right you are!" Dumbledore agreed, "Alastor, a report if you will?"

"Aye, very well…" he cleared his throat pulling out a random assortment of papers from his muddy trench coat, "I've got me two best men on the case, but they're all idiots so it's getting' nowhere as I expected. Bloody Ministry is so fixed on it bein' the wolves they won't think of anybody else, let alone this Voldemort chap or whatever he calls himself…"

"His name is Tom. Tom Riddle," Dumbledore corrected.

Mad-Eye nodded, "Aye, him. I'm requesting an investigation on 'im but it keeps being rejected by the uppers. They're all bloody fools, no vigilance at all,"

"But that's why we're here, isn't it? To do what the Ministry refuses to do!" Mr Potter exclaimed.

"The Ministry surely knows what they're doing…" McGonagall pursed her lips together.

"I'm afraid that is no more, Minerva," Dumbledore said gravely.

Molly sighed, "So he really is rising then?"

"Duh, what do you think this meeting's about?" Mad-Eye said gruffly, "You've been quiet Gideon? Nothing to say, or biting your tongue?"

The eldest Prewett looked up at the mention of his name, "It's just… very sudden, how are we to believe that this… _Voldemort _is really the cause of all this?"

"Because," there was a silence before Dumbledore stated plainly, "He told me so himself,"

Everybody went quiet until Moody started grinning, "Oh, it seems we have a little birdy up in the rafters…"

* * *

The eyes of the entire room were on me.

"Miss O'Conner, I'd urge you not to tell anybody of what you've witnessed today," Dumbledore stated calmly, as I felt his blight blue eyes pierce mine.

I nodded, trying to find my tongue, "O-Of course…"

"Ah, ta hell with this, I'll just wipe 'er bloody memory!" May-Eye said reaching for his wand before Aberforth stopped him.

"Now _that_ would be considered illegal," He warned.

"C'mon, I'll escort you back to Gryffindor Tower," Professor McGonagall eyed my warily and placed her hands on my shoulders protectively.

"Very well," Dumbledore agreed, "It is getting quite late, and I'd like a cup of tea…"

I was led out of the door and as I felt it close behind me like a little blow to my mind. Following the Professor through the corridors, I remained silent listening to only our footsteps as they echoed through the hall.

When we eventually reached the painting of The Fat Lady, she said quite plainly, "I hope you know your way from here. Goodnight, Riley,"

"Professor… if I may ask one question. What's it called? Your Order,"

She pursed her lips together and sighed, "We are the Order of the Phoenix, and I'll trust you never to utter the name,"

I nodded, "Goodnight, Professor,"

Mumbling the password I stepped through the entrance and landed myself in my house common room. It was near empty, as I made my way towards the small corner where I usually sat. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't bother turning around. I knew who it was.

Remus took a seat beside me, I didn't look at him.

"You've been avoiding me," he stated plainly – there was no question.

I felt myself sink a little more in my seat.

"I just want to say, I understand that you don't feel the same way I do and I apologise for my irrational actions the other night…"

I started shaking my head, "Don't apologise, I do like you Remus, I really do, it's just..."

"You love Sirius," He finished for me, "And I get that, so I'm sorry,"

I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry to, I shouldn't have avoided you. So… Friends?" I asked.

"As we always have been," He replied with a small smile.

* * *

**I'm not very proud of this chapter. It feels weird.**

**So, some more pop culture references in there; one Loris Harrow 'City of Ember' movie quote (although I adore the book too!) and some '100 Cupboards' dust-themes sewn in around the edges (I just finished reading 'Dandelion Fire' – so epic! I need 'Chestnut King'!).**

**This was a very Kooks inspired chapter, as I was listening to 'Naive' and their 'Pumped Up Kicks' cover while writing. I duno why I always tell you what I listen to while writing chapter, I'm not sure if it ever actually affects my writing or not… but if you have the song(s) I meantion, maybe try listening to them. Maybe some kind of experiment? I'm not sure…**

**Now, I leave you with one of my favourite poems called 'An Invitation' ever written by the amazing Shel Silverstein;**

_**"If you are a dreamer, come in,**_

_**If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,**_

_**A hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer,**_

_**If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire,**_

_**For we have some flax-golden tales to spin,**_

_**Come in!**_

_**Come in!"**_


	25. Chapter 25: The Little Talks of Friends

**Sorry for not updating again guys, I've had some real trouble with how I was going to go about this chapter, but alas, here it is…**

**Anyway, again, I'm telling you what music I was listening to while writing this chapter so if you feel like it you can listen to it while reading or something... This time it was 'Little Talks', 'Mountain Sound', 'Your Bones' and 'King and Lionheart' all by the epic band **_**Of Monsters and Men**_** (I love their name and their music so much!).**

**And I realised that the name Ariana is also the name of Dumbledore's sister. Just to be clear, there is no connection between the two nor is it any kind of plot point in the story. It's just a mistake. Sorry guys.**

* * *

_"There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back,_

_Well tell her that I miss our little talks,_

_Soon it will be over and buried with our past,_

_We used to play outside when we were young,_

_And full of life and full of love,"_

_–Of Monsters and Men 'Little Talks'_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Five:_

I was good at keeping secrets. I've kept many important secrets over the years; never said a word about the boy's being animagus, or Remus being a werewolf. My lips were sealed when my sister Sarah asked me not to preform magic or talk about wizardry in front of her two-year-old son Marcus. Yes, I was quite good at it indeed, but that was mainly because I never actually _wanted _to tell. I'd never had the inclination to grass to another about anything, but now… now all I wanted was to run up to Sirius, jump on his bed and tell him all about the Order and tell Remus that Dumbledore knew it wasn't werewolves causing the disappearances and tell James that his parents were here and tell Peter… actually I didn't want to tell Peter anything…

"Hey Riley, wait up!" Called a voice from down the corridor and I turned, glad to see that it was Frank and no one else.

"Howzit goin' Frank," I smiled genuinely.

He wore a giant grin on his face, "I asked out Alice,"

"'Bout time, mate," I rolled my eyes, "What she say?"

He laughed, "Oh, she said yes, but she looked kinda confused at the start… I guess I mumbled a bit,"

"You do tend to do that when you're nervous…" I nodded in agreement.

"So how're things with Sirius going?" he asked casually, but there was genuine concern in his eyes.

I gave him quite a shocked look. How did he know of my purposefully-kept-secret crush on Sirius? For a second I stared at him blankly before mumbling stupidly, "W-what?"

"Alice said you were fighting… I was just wondering…" he said slowly unsure if he was right or wrong after my unusual reaction.

Realisation washed over me like a wave and I remembered that as well as crushing on Sirius, I currently hated him too, or well, I was desperately trying to. I don't even care if that makes no sense.

I managed to mumble out an answer, "I haven't spoken to him yet… I've been busy."

Now it was his turn to give me a shocked look, "Did I just hear _Riley O'Conner_ say she was putting _something else_ above her _best friend_? Are you sure you're not _avoiding_him, by any chance?"

I sighed.

"Okay, yes, I'm avoiding him…" I muttered bitterly.

Frank clapped his hand on my shoulder, "Don't give up, go talk to him. You too have the strongest friendship I've ever seen in my life and it'd be a shame to waste it over a petty fight,"

I looked up at the tall, lanky boy, "What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if I'm too late?"

"Hey, think of it like this, if Sirius is half the good a friend he seems to be, he'd wait forever – just like I knew you would for him. Loyal to the bone and blood you two are," he winked.

I smiled slightly, "Thanks Frank,"

"Don't mention it, but I've gota run, I'm meeting Alice soon…" he grinned and walked off whistling.

"Good luck!" I called after him, but I was unsure on whether he heard. Hitching my bag higher on my shoulder I sighed deeply; it was time to set something straight.

* * *

I started with the simple one; Lily Evans. Okay, maybe not that simple, but it was simpler than facing Sirius and his cold grey eyes…

Not knowing where she'd be, I made my way towards our dorm room. Inside sat three of my other dorm mates, two of which were complete bitches and I did my best to avoid most days (unless I'm looking for a fight) and the other I didn't know very well, but chose to approach her instead of having to face down with the others. I didn't have time for a verbal battle of wits today.

"Hey, do you know where Lily is?" I asked the mousey looking girl.

She peered up from her book, looking slightly startled, "Are you talking to me?"

I rolled my eyes, "No shit. So, do you know where she is or not?"

The girl nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose, "The Prefect meeting should be ending around now…"

"Kay, thanks… what's your name again?" I asked as I headed to the door.

"Emma Bell… we've shared a room for five years," She frowned.

"Right, well, see ya' later!" I called and ran out the door towards the Library. As I approached I saw Remus and Lily walking out the door and walked straight up to them.

"Hey guys," I grinned.

Remus smirked, "What's up, Riley? What's the rush? James blow himself up or something?"

Lily snorted, "Only in my dreams…"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to Lily…" I smiled.

His eyebrows shot up and Lily gave me a questioning look, "Huh?"

"_You_ want to talk to _me_? Well, there's a first for everything, ain't there…" Lily shook her head in disbelief, "So what do you want?" I could hear the habitual edge of suspicion and animosity in her voice, but I ignored it.

"I just wanted to say thank you, and ask that you not mention any of what happened the other day to anybody…" I trailed off, eyeing Remus who looked more confused than ever before (which was quite a feat).

Lily looked shocked by my thanks, but did her best to hide it, "Oh… o-okay," she replied uneasily.

"Thank you," I smiled very slightly, "But this doesn't mean I like you,"

She nodded in agreement, "Don't worry, I still don't like you either,"

"Okay then, well, goodbye – you coming Remus?" I asked.

He gave me a slightly dazed look, "Y-yeah… see you later Lily,"

She waved and walked off in the other direction.

Remus stoped to look at me for a moment, "You are so weird," was all he said.

"It's a gift," I grinned.

He looked at me with a lopsided grin, "So what was that about anyway?"

"She helped me out; I was just sayin' thanks," I shrugged, "Even if she is a joy-sucking bitch most of the time,"

He sighed and mumbled, "And that's why I love you,"

I stopped walking, the smile falling of my face replaced with a frown, "Remus… I–"

"I know, I know… you don't feel like that, I didn't mean to say it, I won't say anything again," he spoke hastily.

I shook my head, "No, you're allowed to feel however you want, I just was you to understand that the feeling not returned. I do love you, but as a friend and nothing more, I'm sorry Remus,"

He looked up at me with sad smile, "I know, how could anybody love me anyway? I'm a werewolf for Merlin's sake. I should stop kidding myself,"

I graved his shoulders and looked directly into his blue eyes, "Remus, one day, you'll find a wonderful girl who loves you for you and all of your furry-little-problem. And although your wolf-ish nature means nothing to me, I'm not that girl, but she's out there somewhere waiting and when you find her make sure you never let go, okay?"

"Okay, I won't," he nodded.

I smiled at him up at him, "Good, because you really are a great guy and although you may not see it yourself, others do,"

"Thanks Riley, you're a good friend," he returned the smile.

"I know. I'm absolutely bloody fantastic, and don't you go forgetting it, mister," I joked and we kept walking.

When we reached the Common Room I said goodbye to Remus who had an Arithmetic's essay to write. I scanned my eyes around the room, and couldn't find Sirius so I began walking towards our usual spot hoping he'd be there.

"Hey Riley,"

I spun around to find Sirius standing behind me. Why does everybody always sneak up on me?

At first I kinda gaped at him, "Sirius? Uh…"

"Please don't run away… I know you've been avoiding me,"

I evaded Sirius's eyes, "Sorry 'bout that,"

"I also got yelled at by Lily…" he said slowly.

My eyes snapped up, "What?"

"She told me about how she found you in the bathroom," he said calmly, "I'm so sorry, Riley,"

"Excuse me, when was this?" I asked sharply – angry at Lily, not Sirius.

"After she told you to go to the Prefect bathroom, she stormed into our dorm and hit me repetitively for being such a dick," he smiled sheepishly.

I nodded in agreement, "Well you were being a dick, but I was acting like a complete bitch so we're even… I'm sorry too, and I _do_ think Ariana's good for you, even if my drunk-self disagrees,"

Merlin, how it hurt to say that, but it was true. I did believe

He laughed slightly, "And I shouldn't draw conclusions about things when I don't understand them… I just saw you to hugging in the library and assumed…"

"It's alright, I've been really stressed recently and I guess I kinda cracked and took it all out on you," I sighed.

Sirius huffed, "But there's the problem, you're my best friend, and I didn't even notice how strained you were in the first place when I should have. I'm a horrible friend,"

I laughed, "Well, you've been pretty busy yourself,"

He smiled slightly, "I guess I have, Ariana can be quite a handful sometimes, and with the death of Caroline... it hurts to see the tear stains on her cheeks,"

"Do you love her?" I asked in a quiet voice.

He looked up at me, right in the eyes, "I… I don't know,"

* * *

**Hope this was better than last chapter. It's quite packed with stuffs.**

**Now, I was thinking of doing a Remus/Tonks story later on. Depending on what you guys want, Riley might feature in it also. Let me know in your reviews what you want.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	26. Chapter 26: In Sepulchral Darkness

**HOLY SHIT 99 REVIEWS GUYS THAT'S AWESOME… we're sooooooo close to triple digits now… this is unbelievably EPIC… I didn't think when I started this FanFic I'd even make it to double… WOOOOOOOOO!**

**Listening to **_**The Cat Empire**_** 'The Chariot' (good old Melbourne bands!), **_**Múm**_**'Blessed Brambles' and **_**The Postal Service**_** 'Such Great Heights'… Please tell me if you want me to stop listing my music, which is pretty weird and full of random bands.**

**Now, a shout out to **_**Lizaluvsdoggies**_** who called Riley/Sirius 'Siriley' in her last review. I'm really happy that I've achieved couple-name status with this pairing and I **_**siriusly **_**like the name.**

**Also, I thought it was time for an actual quote, instead of lyrics… anyway, read on.**

* * *

_"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows"_

–_Mark Twain_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Six:_

"So, how's Frank going?" I asked wryly, sliding in next to Alice in for Transfiguration class who was quietly humming away while smiling to herself.

She looked slightly startled but still managed to answer, "Same old, same old… still nothing," Alice shrugged, looking back to her essay as she read over it a final time before handing it in today.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Wait, _what_? I thought he asked you out?"

She turned to me with a surprised look plastered across her face, "How in hell did _you_find out?"

Rolling me eyes a slammed my books on the table, "Frank told me of course, we're Quidditch teem-mates. It's not like I don't know the guy, he keeps Bludgers from killing me. What I want to know what why the fuck _you_ didn't!"

Alice smiled sheepishly, "Andi suggested–"

I sighed, "–Well that explains it–"

She glared at me, "As I said, Andi suggested that I didn't tell you because you'd take the piss out of me for having a boyfriend and then take half the credit…"

I stared blankly at her for a second, the burst into bouts of pure laughter, "Well _of course_ I'd take the piss outa you and your lanky-ass boyfriend, that's what I was put of Earth to do; take the piss outa people, and about taking half the credit – I'm actually talking ninety precent. Frank and I had a very special chat the day before the game the other week…" I winked.

Alice shook her heard as McGonagall walked in, "You're impossible,"

"No, just highly improbable," I muttered as I dipped my quill in ink, preparing to take notes on the Professors lecture.

"Why am I friends with you?" She asked more herself, than me.

I laugh under breathe, "I wonder that every day,"

* * *

"Where's Moony?" I whispered to James, sliding up next to him as we walked down the hall after classes.

Prongs gave me a grave look, "Feeling sick…"

I frowned, "He always does the hours leading up to his, ugh, time of the month. Is everything ready for later?"

James nodded in agreement, "We secured the plans last night, Moony kept trying to talk us out of us as he usually does… I's have been easier if you'd been there, Remus was his usual mess,"

"I can't stay in your room anymore with Sirius and Ariana…" I trailed off.

"I know, I know, and Remus too, I'd bet?" He spoke without joke.

I raised an eyebrow.

"He told me about what went on between you two…" James clarified.

"Oh… right," I frowned, looking down at my feet, "I wish I could like him the way he wants me too but…"

"… You love Sirius," James finished the sentence I didn't plan on finishing myself.

I looked up at him, surprised, "How'd you know that? Did Remus say something…?"

Prongs laughed, "Vixen mate, I've been your friend for five years. I can bloody tell when you go from loving somebody as a best friend to loving somebody with romantic string attached," he winked and I groaned.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Nah, Remus told me – but after that it was really obvious," He grinned mischievously, "The way you're always staring at him with day-dreamy eyes and sending daggers to Ariana…"

I punched him on the arm, although angry more so at Remus. Then I remembered today was the night of the full moon and squashed the thought, "You're calling _me_ dreamy-eyed? What about Lily? At least Sirius doesn't hate me,"

"So the two of you made up, then?" James smiled warmly.

I nodded, a slight frown on my face, "Yeah, yesterday we talked it through… it was a stupid row anyway,"

"Padfoot never told me what that fight was about anyway… when I asked he just told me to 'shut the fuck up and piss off', well, that was after he'd been heavily abused by Lily in the middle of the night… oh Sirius, our forever moody friend – I wouldn't mind being abused by Lily in the middle of the night," James laughed, and his laugh soon became infectious as I joined in.

"Don't worry 'bout it Prongs," I said with a wry smile, "And keep your weird Lily fantasies to yourself,"

"Fine," He shrugged, "And worrying really ain't my thing,"

"Except for when it comes to Quidditch," I pointed out correctly.

"True," He agreed with a slight nod and we kept walking, making our way towards the Infirmary to see if Remus was still there.

Together we pushed open the double doors, holding our breaths. It was a familiar shaky feeling, deep in out bones.

As James and I entered the room, we spotted Remus sitting on the corner on one of the beds, leaning over a bucket. The stench of vomit was foul in the air, but it wasn't nearly as foul as the feeling in my stomach, because we all loved Remus; he was the mature glue that held our band of misfits together and it pained us all to see him like he is on the day of the full moon – a complete wreak. He was always the strongest one, the tolerant one and it was agonising to watch him break, but we all put up a brave face. We were strong for him, when he couldn't be.

I saw his hair about to fall in his face, and I quickly tucked it behind his ear so it didn't get vomited on, "Thanks," he mumbled before going again.

"So, I guess you're not feeling much better?" James said dully.

Moony shook his head, saying bitterly, "Not to worry, this should stop in a little while and be replaced my stomach cramps,"

James sighed, "We know the drill, Remus; nausea, vomiting, cramps, fever, then finally the shift. It's all sorted for tonight, don't worry, we're ready as always,"

He looked as if he was going to say more, but only nodded as he heaved his guts into the bucket again. I held his long fringe back from his face as he did so.

"Oh, you two are here," said a surprised looking Madame Le'Dionettre came bustling into the room with a new bucket, "Here honey, take this," she swapped Remus's bucket with the old one and took it away, but by this time Remus had almost stoped vomiting and was clutching his stomach, face screwed up in pain.

James and I sat down on each side of him and we weaved our arms around his shoulders and I said, "Don't worry, I get that kind of pain every month too," Prongs laughed a short snort and Remus managed a wry, pained smile as Madame Le'Dionettre ran back into the room again with some sort of potion meant to help.

I don't think it worked. Nothing ever did.

* * *

This night was a dark, sepulchral one indeed, the light of the moon and stars blocked out by the overcast cloud, hanging like grey deadweight in the sky.

James and Peter had gone ahead earlier to start with the protective charms as Sirius and I collected Remus from the Hospital Wing, then with the good luck and well wishes of Madame Le'Dionettre and Professor McGonagall, we were sent along with enough healing and safety potions to last us all a lifetime. They believed we left after helping his get ready. Not likely.

Remus leaning against us both, his face pale and sweat dripping down his forehead in a cold sweat we began slowly making our way down to towards The Womping Willow, keeping our distance as Sirius quickly morphed into a black dog so he could weave through the attacks of the extremely violent tree and twist the root to freeze it.

Through the tunnel we weaved until we finally came to the creaky wooden steps leading up to the Shrieking Shack where the other boys met us.

"Y-you should all go… I can make it from here alone," Remus murmured as he shivered.

"Not likely mate," James exclaimed, "We've already done the work; we should at least get to enjoy the show,"

Moony smiled weakly, but the smile soon faded as he spasmed randomly. Sirius and Peter managed to catch his shoulders so he didn't fall to the ground, "Let's get you upstairs, Moony," was all Padfoot said.

James stayed back to cast the last spells on the last entrance where we'd come through as he was the second best at Charms – the first being Remus, who's otherwise incapable of casting now.

We hid our wands under the floorboards where they wouldn't be broken, but could be gotten to at short notice and I took off my Locket placing it there also for safe keeping. As I was only a metamorphmagus and not an animagus, I was the most at risk here and had to try to sever as much humanity as possible when a fox because unlike when they boy's change, my personality doesn't become anymore animalistic, so I trained myself to do it manually.

With a nod to each one of us and grim looks upon out faces, we morphed into our other forms and assumed positions around the Shrieking Shack.

The sickly Remus had curled himself up in the corner, away from us. Shielding his eyes from the rays off silvery moonlight that had begun to shine through the window. As it crept its way towards him, I held my breath until it fully hit him and he opened his eyes. They were heavily dilated as he let out a yelp of pain and broke into a seizure.

It had begun.

* * *

**DID YOU SEE THE BIG BANG THEORY REFERANCE? DID YA? HUH? DID YA REALLY?**

… **Well, you'd better have… or you may just **_**die**_**…**

**Nah… I'd **_**never**_** kill anybody…*cough, cough***_**humanely**_***cough, cough*…**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	27. Chapter 27: Through the Eyes of a Killer

**HOLY FUCKING FLYING MONKEY SHIT I'M ON 100+ REVIEWS!**

**Thank-you so much **_**Bethy-Boodles,**_** my 100th reviewer and anybody else who's ever reviewed me! Also, I'm now over 10,000 hits! Thanks sooooo much guys!**

**Sorry if this chapter disturbs you, but all that know me know, I just can't write a story without there being a sickening, gory scene!**

**And I apologise for how long this took to update, I'm catching up on all the school work I've missed while in the USA and then freaking EXAMS... so, sorry guys.**

**But please have some faith.**

* * *

_"That boy, take me away, into the night,_

_Out of the hum of the street lights and into a forest,_

_I'll do whatever you say to me in the dark,_

_Scared I'll be torn apart by a wolf in mask."_

–_Daughter 'Candles'_

* * *

_Chapter Twenty-Seven:_

No matter the amount on times Remus calls himself a mindless monster, it was never through those eyes that I viewed him, because theoretically, yes, he was a monster; The Werewolf-Remus had teeth like jagged glass, a menacing snarl and true, he did come out in the depths of night with the pure intention of creating chaos. But that being said, how could I see such a monster while I watched my dear friend in such a state that he is?

Remus writhed on the floor; he clutched the closest thing to him – a broken chair leg, and hurled it at the opposite wall, making a small but well-fed, rat-formed Peter scramble out of the way, as his back arched to an impossible angle and I heard the snap and crackle of bones stretching and shrinking, growing and morphing, popping in and out of different sockets trying to find the correct ones to settle in. His skin stretched and his usual features took on wolfish properties, Remus's usual kind blue eyes turning cold and merciless. The eyes of a killer. But still, there was an edge of sadness etched into them; a pathetic, helpless look that I'd always told myself was the Remus part of the animal… I guess I've always just needed to know he'd come back, that he was still in there, hidden deep down inside the wolf.

From across the room Sirius gave me a hard look, then he and Wormy left into another part of the house. And so we waited. The wolf whimpered as it slowly found its feet, the rest of us remained still and silent… waiting as we all knew what came next.

Violence.

Blood.

Pain.

Yes, there were distant friends, ones we'd grow closer to in the future, and hate with all our hearts – but that was not now. Suddenly, Remus let out a strangled howl, arching himself up into the moon, no longer scared of its bright shine. He began sniffing the air, and I felt the tension grow as his gaze swept the room.

The werewolf took its first few steps, cautious steps they were, and I could see Remus in the beast. His usual humble composure was now savage and torn, yes, but it was there. Somewhere inside, I could see it, in the faintest glimmers in his eyes.

A tall stag brushed up beside me, giving me a slight nod. Remus began sniffing though the rickety shack, trying to find even the smallest trace of human sent. Like always, I hoped he'd find something – a faint hint from a few days ago, maybe. The longer he's distracted with the smell of human; the longer we can delay him causing himself harm.

The wolf crept into the next room where Sirius and Peter were, and we followed, my claws scratching on the dry wooden floor loud against the stark quiet.

Remus kept wandering, searching.

It would be any second now he'd snap. He'd lose it. He'd turn wild. And I waited – we waited – teetering on the edge as we sat still and quiet, knowing soon it'd all come crashing down soon enough.

And then it did. Like it always did.

The werewolf stopped near the front door and started scratching at the floor. That was where the trail ended. That was where the pain begun. He started panting, scratching at the door, the wall, the floorboards. Confused, frightened, driven by bloodlust.

He needed something to rip.

Remus's breathing began to quicken and a strangled whine escaped out of his throat. He looked confused and desperate for something to tear apart. He started to claw at his paws, swirling in circles, chasing his own feet. Growing more agitated and restless with each step, Remus's whining grew louder alongside his disorientation.

The wolf didn't know what to do; it was born of pain, brought of plain and it would end in pain. That was all it knew; it knew how to feel it, survive it and cause it.

Because in the end, all there's left is a pool of blood and a shattered friend.

It was when Remus began to dig his claws into his shoulder until blood pooled and bleed down his forearms that I decided it was time to act. The scene was horrific… I just had to do something.

Slowly I creep towards the sad creature, quick and sharp, my paws making minimal noise on the squeaky floorboards. I saw my friend's give me grave looks, Sirius's grey eyes boring into mine. But still the wolf took no notice of me – I am an animal after all – that was until I pounced in his tail.

The effect was immediate.

He thrashed around, swiping his claw at me and I leapt away with a yelp. The wolf's cold eyes stared into mine, like icy fire, but still so sad… he crept forward.

I backed away, not breaking eye contact. No, I wouldn't dare.

Because any second now, he would snap.

Any second now, my friend Remus would try to kill me.

And so he lunged.

I darted out of the way with my sharp reflexes and elegant agility that came alongside the fox body of my favourite form – but his strides were longer than mine and I could feel hot breath prickling the hair on the back of my neck, so I darted under the table for cover. I was panting, when I realised that Remus had given up on me and was stalking James now. While the other had his busy, I crept out of my hidey-hole.

The wolf was growling and thrashing, both at itself and us, in confusion more than anything. We didn't act like normal animals, yet it could see we weren't the human flesh it needed to rip. We puzzled the poor creature more than it liked to acknowledge – more than it knew how to acknowledge.

I watched as Remus pushed James away and lunged at Sirius.

Time seemed to slow through those few seconds, as the wolf's claws snapped at Padfoot – I did the first thing that came to mind.

I morphed human.

At that very millisecond the werewolf turned to me, and the last thing I remember was the gleam of silver fangs before the world spiralled into darkness…

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**Again, I'm sorry that took so long. Please review!**


	28. Chapter 28: Visitors in the Infirmiry

**THIS WILL BE MY LAST UPDATE BEFORE EXAMS!**

**So yeah, I'm procrastinating with revision.**

**Enjoy.**

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"_Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars,"_

–_Khalil Gibran_

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_Chapter Twenty-Eight:_

I was awake before I opened my eyes, helplessly clinging to a fraying dream that had already drifted away, back into my subconscious. My eyes fluttered open, welcomed by grey morning light that shone through the small crack in the curtains. I felt hazy and distant as I tried to focus of the grey silhouettes surrounding where I lay.

Blinking, I saw Sirius standing at the foot of my bed in the hospital wing. He looked grim; Padfoot's usual smile had seemingly drifted away replaced with a frown and sad eyes.

"W-what happened?" I coughed.

Sirius frowned, "You morphed into a human while in the Shrieking Shack and got… clawed… by Remus,"

I started at him, only now realising the stinging sensation that was building on my face. I raised my fingers to my cheek and felt the three long jagged lines running from the corner of my eye to my lip. I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes, but pushed them back.

"Riley… you saved my life," Sirius whispered, moving to sit beside me, "Thank you, and I'm so sorry that this happened…"

"I-It's okay… it's just a bit… shocking, I guess," I frowned, still running my fingers along the thin scars.

Sirius bit his lip, "There are some… implications… that come with it though. I'd tell you, but I think Remus would like to talk to you about it himself… he's really sorry about all this, he feel terrible,"

My eyebrows shot up, "I'm not a werewolf, am I?!"

"Merlin, no! I'll let Remus explain, okay?" Padfoot clarified and I let out a deep breathe.

"So, how bad is it?" I asked, gesturing to my face.

He bit his lip, "It's not bad, just a little strange, I guess,"

I closed my eyes and tried to morph it away, "Is it gone?"

"Riley, it's a cursed wound – it won't ever go away," Sirius brushed the hair out of my eyes and I felt shivers go down my spine.

"I was afraid of that," I sighed, pushing away his hand.

Sirius smiled weakly, "It's not the end of the world, Riley. You're okay, you're _alive_. James managed to tackle Remus off you long enough for Peter and I to get you out,"

"I know…" I whispered and felt his eyes burning into mine.

Then, as if on cue, the doors burst open. Andi walked with her usual look of indifference beside Alice who ran in looking around as hyper as usual, accompanied by a smirking James, awkward Peter and brooding Remus with an arm in a sling. Frank and Ted walked in not far behind.

"Riley! How're you feeling!" Alice grinned, and I noticed she was holding Frank's hand.

Frank looked at me strangely, "Is it true you wandered off into the Dark Forest and got attacked by a wild hippogriff?"

I gave a sidelong glance to Sirius, who nodded slightly, so I put on a smile and said, "Yeah, I got bored and thought the forest looked pretty interesting,"

"Well, look at your face now? Smart move, genius," Andi crossed her arms across her chest and I could see Ted behind her, rolling his eyes. I think their relationship was still being kept on a need-to-know basis.

It seemed as if everybody was dating somebody but _me._

And maybe James.

"Hey, she gets to miss _class_, so it's can't be all bad," Peter backed me up. Or well, he tried.

Andi scoffed, "Doesn't change the fact she got three lines down the side of her face,"

"Andromeda!" Alice slapped her arm.

Remus visibly winced in the background.

I shrugged, "I've also got two eyes, a nose and a smirk. So what?"

"I told you never to call me that…" Andi grumbled.

Alice rolled her eyes, "Let's go, Little Miss PMS," and the two left with Frank and Ted, who mouthed 'sorry' to me as they passed through the doorway. I chuckled under my breath, well used to Andi's more… _abrasive_… nature.

"Those two girls are strange," Peter stated to nobody in particular.

I laughed, "Well, they're friends with _me_, so they have to be,"

"What are you trying to say about us, Vixen?" Sirius mocked looking offended.

I grinned mischievously, "Oh, nothing…"

"Sure," James rolled his eyes, "Oh, and Riley, we got you some _Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans_," he tossed me the packet and I caught it in my lap.

I shook it and sent Prongs a scowl, "James, this is completely empty. Very funny."

"I got hungry on the way here!" he protested, but I just kept glaring at him, and my friend eventually cracked, "Fine, fine. Here's the actual box," and he threw me the real one.

"Thanks," I grinned, "For the beans and for saving my life,"

James shrugged, "My pleasure, Vix,"

Peter looked up at the clock and bit his lip, "We've got Care of Magical Creatures, like, _right now_ guys,"

Sirius looked at the time, "Shit!"

James grinned, "See ya' later, Vixen… oh, and by the way, ten points were taken from us for being out of bed after curfew so… yeah, bye!"

_What?_

Then the three boys ran out of the door, papers flying in their wake – leaving me alone with Remus. We were the only ones who didn't take that class, me because of Divination and Moony because of Arithmancy.

He sat hunched at the end of my bed, looking into his palms.

"Remus it's…" I started, but was interrupted.

"Don't say it's _okay_, because it's defiantly not_ okay_, this is anything but _okay_," he said, anger in his voice.

I sat up further and placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, and his eyes met mine, tear-filled eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Riley, this is my entire fault," he sunk his head down again.

I smiled slightly, "Remus, it's hardly your fault. You had no control over your body, whereas I did. I chose to turn human to…"

"… save Sirius. You see? This is why none of you are ever coming with me on Full Moons again. It's just too _dangerous_," Remus spoke flatly. His mind was made.

I sighed and gave him a small smile, "Hey, no harm came out of it. Nobody ix dead. Nobody is seriously injured. I've got a few scratches, so what?"

He shook his head, "They're not just a few scratches, they're _cursed scars_, Riley!"

"Cursed how?" I asked in a small voice.

"From now on you're going to take on a few wolf-like… traits and tendencies," Remus said softly, "I'm so sorry,"

For some reason I felt relieved, at least it wasn't too bad. At least I wouldn't be turning into a werewolf every full moon. Just a few tendencies, how hard can that be to manage?

"So… what kind of traits," I asked slowly.

He shrugged, "You'll be territorial, irritable, over protective of those close to you, have new found love of raw meat and may need to shave a little more often,"

I smiled, "That doesn't sound too bad…"

"But it doesn't excuse that fact that I hurt you, Riley," Remus brushed his fingertips along my scar.

"It's okay… you'll be okay," I smiled sadly.

He shook his head, "Riley, nothing is ever okay. Not for me,"

Then he turned and left, with a slight limp in his step.

* * *

I was a naturally fidgety person. I never liked sitting down for too long, but since I hadn't fully recovered from my _scratch_ yet, Madame Le'Dionettre seemed to think it'd be best if I remained in bed, in the hospital wing.

If I didn't get out soon, the old bat would be carting me off to the nearest psychiatric ward instead. Not that that sort of confinement would do me any good either, but that's all society did right? Lock the different people away.

I was again, trying to wipe the scare off my face, when none other than Lily Evans walked in – a stack of books in her arms.

"Sup Evans," I greeted her.

Lily jumped half her load beside me with a scowl, "Ariana asked me to deliver these. You ditched you're tutor session to go gallivanting in the Dark Forest last night, so she's assigned some reading,"

"I do not gallivant, I strut, thank you very much," I nodded quite seriously, barley keeping myself from laughter.

"You know, I was going to say sorry about your face, but then I realised you probably wouldn't care since you can just wipe it right off," Lily sneered.

I frowned, more to myself than her, "Actually, I can't. It's a cursed scar. I'm going to be disfigured for life…"

She looked at me with surprise, "Hippogriffs don't give cursed scars…" Lily looked puzzled until it clicked and her eyes went wide, "You were with _Remus_! Oh Merlin, no wonder he's been brooding worse than usual lately,"

My eyebrows shot up, "What? How did you know…"

"Pfft, please. Who do you think covers his Prefect shifts on the night of the full moon?" Evans rolled her eyes as if I were stupid.

I shrugged, "Okay, yes it was Remus, but I'm okay. I survived,"

"Obviously," she smirked, "still, you need to do the reading for Ariana,"

Sighing, I said, "Fine. Whatever. Want a Bean?"

Lily eyed the small box I'd outstretched to her cautiously, "Who gave them to you?" she asked.

"Prongs," I stated.

She frowned and turned to leave, "I'll pass,"

Before she reached the door, I spoke, "He's not all that bad you know. I'm alive because of James,"

She turned, surprise written across her face, "Really?"

I nodded, throwing a bean up and catching it my mouth, "As I said, he's not all bad. He's got good intensions, and although he has a weird stalker-like way of showing it… James really does love you,"

The look of Lily's face was had to determine as she muttered the words, "Thank you," and left me alone again.

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**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	29. Chapter 29: The Phoenix Lives On

**This took so long to upload that I forget how much different music I listened too so yeah…**

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_'I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear'_

_–Nelson Mandela_

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_Chapter Twenty-Nine:_

Most days, I'd kill to be given a day off from school. The schemes that my friends and I had put to test in all our years at Hogwarts were almost infinitely phenomenal, almost to the point where the masters didn't listen to us (all except from Remus as he was a student who enjoyed school) when we complain of stomach boils or carnivores slugs under our skin.

But now was a complete different story. It was now, more than ever, that I didn't want to be left alone. I wanted to be surrounded by people. I wanted them to take my mind away from all of the little _things_ that crept their way into my mind like sludgy black ink leaking from a spilled pot onto the blank page of my mind.

No, not blank. My mind if filled. Positively filled with positivity. If I had to imagine my mental state as a book, it'd probably be like that of Leonardo Di Vinci's journals – illegible scribbled in backwards, up-side-down and back-to-front. Only ever to make sense to myself and those passionate enough to spend the time decoding its secrets.

Right, _secrets_. The little monsters. The creeping ink. I never did like secrets; of course I kept them for those of whom the keeping of said secrets was a necessary act.

So, sitting here in bed, feeling like a fidgety livewire wanting to sprint to class and be immersed in spells and magic and potions where my brain was too busy to think of crazy ramblings of past artists and the like, I let out a small sigh. The sound felt abnormal as my voice was the only sound in the room aside from a ticking of a fast clock quite far away. It'd been quiet for far too long. I needed to _do_ something, _hear_ something, _feel_ something or I might have gone insane.

But still, I was restless.

Because I needed to know something. I needed to simply _know_.

And so I slipped out of my bed, bare feet feeling cold and solid on the marble beneath me as they led their body towards the doors. Carefully I eased them open with minimal creaking, but in such stark quiet, every creak sounded like the dragging of nails down a chalk board. Irritating. Loud. Sensitive.

Wolf-like tendencies, indeed.

Without much regret, or any at all in fact, my form morphed from that of a girl into that of a fox and I padded my way towards the Gryffindor Tower, and up into the boys room. In amongst to usual teenage-boy filth I found the Marauders Map at the bottom of James's trunk with a rather creepy picture of Lily yelling, her cheeks the colour of beetroot in anger. Probably because he had a camera in her face, but who can know for sure?

Clutching the folded parchment in my jaws, I left without a trace, running through the near-empty halls and dodging the unaware glances of Professors. It's funny how even the brightest witches and wizards still forget to look down.

Eventually I came across the entrance to Dumbledore's Office, and opened the Marauders Map to see the password clearly written there.

"Lemon liquorish," I whispered quickly to the ghastly stone gargoyle which revealed the door for me with a scowl.

Inside, the room was circular with walls covered in window and the portraits of since gone headmasters. Dumbledore's private library filled the bookshelves and a number of spindly tables were situated around the room covered in a number of different silver instruments and experiments and puffed white smoke.

Everything was quiet but the creaking of my feet on the floorboards which felt alien and loud with every step. I almost jumped out of my skins when Fawkes screeched and I turned around to see the Headmaster leaning over a pensive in the corner, he turned around.

"Ah, I was wondering when I'd be seeing you, Riley," Dumbledore smiled, a gleam in his bright blue eyes, "Come, take a seat," he gestured to the chair facing is desk and lead me over.

We sat down opposite each other, "Toffee?" he offered me the bowl, plucking one out for himself. I declined; food didn't go down well with my medication right now.

The ancient man let out a sigh, "So, Riley, I'm guessing you have questions for me. It seems you been going through a trying time at late. I do hope those scares heal, Remus has been beside himself even since he got you,"

My eyebrows shot up, "How did you know…"

Dumbledore chuckled, "I've seen many things in my time, and I can tell the difference between a Hippogriff's and a Werewolf's mark and that there is defiantly a cursed scar. It was a very fearless thing you did, following your friend into the Shrieking Shack… a very foolish things too,"

"I don't regret it, Sir" I said stubbornly.

"And I doubt you ever will, you're a fearless one, I'll give you that. Why do you do it?" the old man asked.

I let out a deep breath, "Because, Sir, I cannot stand to sleeping while I know my friend is out there in pain, all alone without any help,"

Dumbledore nodded, "Hmm, I guessed as much… and I believe you're here today for the exact same reason; you cannot stand to sit there and do nothing while you know others are putting their lives on the line,"

I perked up a bit, "So you understand, Sir? Why I have to join?"

His smile hardened into a grimace, "You do not _have_ to join anything, Riley. This is a life changing choice, and you are rushing it. You cannot join the Order; you are too young and too fearless,"

I gave his a confused look, "But Sir, isn't fearlessness good? Aren't that and bravery worthy qualities?"

"But bravery and fearlessness are not the same, Riley," Dumbledore gave me a sympathetic smile, "To be brave is to walk into battle with your head held high knowing you probably won't walk away, to be fearless is to charge in without understanding the gravity of the situation. Of course you need a little of both to get through anything. But you have not yet learnt to fear, child, you are young and new to the world, ready to face it all as it comes. You don't know your boundaries and this is why you cannot join, I am sorry,"

"So you're saying, Professor, I should fear? I should be scared?" I looked at him, with surprise in my eyes.

He shook his head, "What I'm saying is that you need perspective. There is a war coming, and it will shake our society at its very core. It will break us all if we don't prepare ourselves. There will be blood, there will be pain, there will be death and this is not what I want for you, young Riley,"

"And you think I wouldn't be able to handle it, Sir?" I questioned.

The headmaster frowned, "No, I think you'll be able to handle it… because if you can't, well, you'll die,"

"I'm not scared, Professor," I protested.

"That's the point, child," Dumbledore smiled ever so slightly, "_You should be_,"

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**I hope that's okay, sorry that it's a bit short.**

**Please review!**


	30. Chapter 30: Piecing it Together

**Sorry for how long it took to update. I'm horrible when it comes to updating fast… but the holidays are just days away and I'll have soooooo much more time then.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!**

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"_A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous,"_

–_Ingrid Bergman_

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_Chapter Thirty:_

I needed to talk to somebody. I couldn't keep this locked up inside forever, and I definitely wasn't just going to sit here and wait for war to wage. I needed help – I needed my Marauders.

But sadly, Sirius was busy as per usual, Remus was still being angsty and Peter is an idiot, so I think that left me James.

It had been less than half an hour since I left Dumbledore's office, and I wasn't planning on returning to the hospital wing, or classes or my dorm for that matter, so instead I headed towards my spot in the rafters of the Astronomy Tower.

"What should I do?" I asked Marvin, but as always, he never responded, "I'm not meant to say anything, and I've never broken my word before… but I need help. I cannot sit by and watch the world burn,"

With a sigh, Marvin scrambled into my hoodie as I climbed down from the loft and onto the floor of the Astronomy Tower, the only class room not currently being used. It should be lunchtime soon, so I headed down to the Great hall.

I found Peter and James sitting together; discussing a new prank which usually would've interested me if there hadn't been heavier worries handing on my mind.

Without word, I grabbed the collar of James's shirt and pulled him backward.

"Hey, what?!" he flailed and I sighed.

"I need to talk to you," I said bluntly.

He stared at me in disbelief, "So you choke me?!"

I rolled my eyes, "Get over it, princess,"

"Aren't you meant to be in hospital?" Peter asked.

"Yes, now shut-up Peter, and James come with me," I clasped the cuff of his shirt and tugged him along.

When we were clear of the Great Hall he stopped and asked, "Has this got something to do with Lily?"

"Unlike you, not everything I do revolves around Evans, Prongs," I frowned.

"You seem… tense, what's up?" he questioned with genuine concern. This is why I liked James; he's like the brother I never had, and he could easily sense when his little sister was feeling a little highly strung, "Is it something to do with your…scar, are you feeling alright?"

"I'm feeling fine, I just need to talk to somebody and you're the only person I could think of, with Sirius at the Hufflepuff table now and Remus avoiding looking at me…" I leaned up against the wall and folded my arms across my chest, "I saw something. Something I wasn't supposed to see… it was a meeting for a group called the Order of the Phoenix,"

James arched an eyebrow, "What? Are they planning something bad?"

I shook my head, "No, Dumbledore called it; there were Auror's, old students, Ariana's brother, some others, your parents too,"

"My parents?" this got his attention, "But… why?"

I gave him a grave look, "Because, James, war is coming, and we need to fight to survive,"

* * *

"I think this is it," James said with strain as he dumped a pile of old Daily Prophet's from the past few months on the table, "The librarian said we could keep any newspapers but the ones from the last week, but I have them in my room, so it's okay,"

"Should we get started then?" I asked and began scattering the newspapers across the table.

"So we're looking any odd disappearances or killings over the past month," James clarified.

I nodded, "Like the Carlington family. I'm pretty sure that was the work of Voldemort,"

"Maybe you shouldn't say that too loud…" James said hesitantly, looking slightly edgy, "You never know who could be watching…"

Shrugging I said, "I don't care. Right now we need to gather information; see where they are, find connections between the victims and the like,"

"Are you sure about this, Vix?"

"Yes," I nodded, "Let's begin,"

From then we worked in silence, creating piles of newspaper clippings; the higher it grew, the more edgy I became. So many people have died and it's flown right under the radar. How could nobody have noticed this before?

I paused, because that wasn't true, one _had_ noticed; Dumbledore, and he took action.

Accompanied by the musty smell of the library and the stillness surrounding me, I forgot about time. My mind was too absorbed in the stories or little children being taken and people being killed in their own homes… so much chaos and destruction and pain, it made my heart feel like led in my chest.

By the time we were done and had cleaned up our mess, all that was left was a stack of cut out newspaper which I tied together with a string and slipped into my rucksack.

"Thank you, James," I said, my voice sounding strange after so long being silent. After reading all of those horrid stories… it left you feeling empty. Isolated. Like you couldn't speak. Shell-shocked almost.

"It's okay, I understand, it's just… we're two kids, how can we help at all?" he sighed, voiceing the thought I'd been avoiding in my own mind.

I shrugged, "All I know is that we can't just sit here and let it slide,"

"Of course we can't, but will it make a difference?" Prongs asked, doubt in his eyes.

"We can only hope… but anyway, dinner should be beginning soon," I tried a smile and we walked towards the door.

Finding our way back to the Great Hall through near empty corridors, we didn't talk. There was nothing to say.

Upon entering Peter called us over, "Hey guys! We've been looking for you for ages, what have you been doing all this time? You've been missing since lunch!"

"We were in the library," I stated plainly, while dumping my bag under the table.

"The library? _You two_? I'm surprised you know where the library is…" Peter chuckled to himself.

"Says you, Wormy," I smiled slightly, feeling a little less stressed the longer I spent away from the library.

I sat down beside Sirius, who was eyeing the two of us cautiously and with mild suspicion, but seemed to dismiss whatever though he had with a shaking of the head.

"So why were you guys in the library?" Sirius asked, seemingly nonchalant.

I eyed James and he quickly answered, "Transfiguration homework, I needed help and… we lost track of time,"

Looking down into my soup pretending to be exceedingly hungry even though I felt sick to my stomach, I could feel Remus's eyes burning into me. He could tell something was up and no matter how much he regretted accidentally scaring my face; he could see in our eyes something wasn't right.

"If you needed help, why was it Riley who dragged you out of the room?" Peter asked James suspiciously. This caught the attention of both Remus and Sirius.

"I had a charms question," I said flatly, nearly glaring at Peter for being the idiotic twat he is.

Remus raised an eyebrow, "You could have asked me…"

I felt rage bubble up from inside me, "No, I couldn't, because you _can't even stand to look at me_!"

Then, I stood up and stormed away. I didn't care that I'd left half way through dinner. I didn't care that everybody stared at me as I left. I could hear footsteps following me down the hallway, but I didn't want to talk to Remus right now, so I kept running.

Eventually, I found myself again at the Astronomy Tower. I never really knew why I always seemed to gravitate towards here, but then again, it seems I'd always loved high places. Treetops, roofs, towers… places where I can look down upon the world and watch it working away – unseen and unnoticed.

"Riley…" I heard a voice from behind. One that wasn't Remus's but instead Sirius's, "How are you?"

I sighed, "Pissed off, annoyed, angry, and whatever synonym you'd like to list after that,"

"That's not what I meant," he walked towards me and placed both hands on my shoulder, "You've been acting so strange lately… if there something wrong?"

I let out a dry laugh, "I just have a lot on my plate, I guess. A little too highly strung,"

He cocked his head to the side, "Hmm, so what's going on between James and you?"

"What?"

Sirius laughed, "You spent the entire day with him, plus, the two of you keep sharing all these little looks. Like you know something we don't know,"

I snorted, the notion was absolutely ridiculous.

"What? You think I haven't noticed how you've been acting?" Sirius grinned.

Laughing, I relied "You don't see anything outside Ariana-land these days,"

"Oi, that's not fair… her best friend died," Sirius frowned disapprovingly. I sighed. If only he knew… Caroline hadn't died, she'd been slaughtered. Brutally ripped apart, "And changing the subject doesn't do anything – I know all your tricks. I didn't even think James would get over Lily…"

I face-palmed my forehead with a deep sigh, "Let me make this clear; _I. Am. Not. Dating. James. _He's like a fucking brother to me so that would be incest, okay?"

Sirius barked a laugh, "Fine whatever, but seriously, why not? Remus is head over heels for you – it's _obvious_. Why not give it a shot with him? Why do you refuse to try?"

I looked down to my shoes. The same as the day I bought them years ago with the strawberry pattern and blue-lavender colouring, only battered and worn. As funny as it was to say, those shoes had grown up with me.

"Because… I don't love him," I sighed, sliding down the wall into sitting position.

Sirius sat down beside me, "You're looking for love at sixteen? I don't think that'll happen,"

"You love Ariana," I sated bluntly.

He fidgeted, avoiding my eyes, "I'm not sure if I _love_ her – love's a very strong word. I know I care for her quite dearly, but love? No, I don't think so… But who do you love, Riley, I can see you're thinking of somebody right now, I know how you work."

"Nobody," I stated flatly.

"Really?" Sirius grinned, arching an eyebrow.

"It's none of your business," I snapped.

"You're my best friend; everything about you is my business, the sooner you learn that the easier this will be. Who is it?"

I glared at him, "It's _none of your business_, Sirius,"

"Don't you trust me?" He asked, looking rather hurt.

"I do…" I trailed off.

"So tell me," he whispered.

And then, in a split decision that should've been thought through much more thoroughly, I pulled him in for a kiss. One small kiss on the lips.

The kiss the changed everything between us.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Sorry for the cliff-hanger, but it's so much fun torturing you all!**


	31. Chapter 31: Tearing it Apart

**YOU DON'T NEED TO FREAK OUT GAPSTER IT'S OKAY HERE'S THE BLOODY UPDATE OMFG BLAH.**

**And thank you **_**Forever Siriusly Sirius**_**, I always get extra excited when you review because your reviews are epic!**

**Anyway, on with the story.**

* * *

"_All is fair in love and war,"_

–_John Lyly_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-One:_

Impulsive.

That's what they called me.

Impulsive. Reckless. Rash. Irresponsible. Wild.

And right about now I could see why they gave me such titles. Both Sirius and I were sitting on the bench in the Astronomy Tower, hands clasped in our laps, looking down at our shoes. There's a space between us. A gap that had never been there before today.

"So…" Sirius said.

"So…" I mumbled.

"You kissed me…" he stated blankly, refusing to look at me and trying to hide the fact.

I sighed, "Yes. Obviously,"

"I have a girlfriend…"

"I know,"

He turned to me then, anger scrawled across his face, "So then why the _hell _did you _kiss me_!" Sirius snapped, and it _hurt_, right there in my chest.

"You asked me too!" I argued.

He ran his hands through his hear, "I didn't think it was me! I thought it's be Remus or James or Peter–"

I laughed bitterly, "_Peter_? Are you fucking _kidding _me?"

"Okay, maybe not Peter, but you know what I mean!" he frowned, folding his arms across his chest, "You don't do that, Riley! You don't kiss me!"

"Oh and why is that? You said it yourself that you didn't love Ariana and you can't fucking deny that you kissed me back before pushing me away,"

Sirius remained silent, fuming in absolute anger.

I stood up, "So why can't I kiss you? How does it make you feel?"

"I feel nothing! Nothing at all!" he protested, standing up to meet me. Our faces were not far away from each other but the two of us were to consumed with anger at each other to particularly notice or care.

I looked into his deep grey eyes and whispered, "You keep telling yourself that, because I know you felt something, even though you deny it… I _know_ you did, I can see it in your eyes,"

Then I turned and left, leaving my friend to his indecision.

* * *

I didn't feel like crying.

Most girls would burst into bouts of tears after such a harsh rejection from somebody so close to them, but all I felt was fury swealing up from the pits of my heart, of course sadness and grief were mixed in there somewhere alongside the rage, but I was confused at the moment to properly see it.

In need of desperate distraction, I headed back towards my dorm room and unearthed the bundle of newspaper clippings. Laying them out on my bed, I began reading through them looking for connections between the people but I began to realise there were none, or well, no obvious ones I could pick up through the text.

The murders were random, not targeting anything in particular. Both adults and children, Ministry workers and shop owners, high classed and low classed – I couldn't find anything to link them together, but of course there had to be _something _the victims all had in common.

Packing up my mess and tying the newspapers back together before hiding them in my trunk again, I decided to take down a few names of the more… _violent_… killings, and head towards the library.

As I made my way through the halls of Hogwarts, memories of Sirius and I haunting me. Places where we hid from teachers, pranks we pulled, where we used to hang out… every memory was like a weight in my heart. Stones sinking further and further downwards.

With a sigh, I pushed open the doors to the library and headed in. The light was dim, everything was hushed to a still quiet and the air smell of musty books and mould. A likely combination.

"Excuse me," I tapped Irma Pince the librarian on the shoulder.

The woman jumped slightly and turned to face me, "Huh? Oh hello!"

I smiled cheerily in quite a fake manner, "I have a History of Magic class assignment on heritage… I'm muggleborn but I know my great grandmother was a witch, so I was wondering if I could have a look in the past school year books to learn more about her…"

"Yeah, sure kid. Walk straight down, turn left, left again and it's the eights isle on the right, quarter way down. Don't leave marks on the pages or I'll have your head on the chopping block, absolutely no ripping or tearing either!" she said strictly and I felt myself shrink a little under her intense gaze.

_They're just stupid books,_ I thought to myself and restrained from rolling my eyes.

"Okay, thanks," I smiled again and left the crabby women to her re-shelving.

Eventually I found the right spot, trailing my fingers along the spins of the books as I walked along. On my list I had scrawled;

_Caitlin Borthwick aged 24_

_Samuel Carter aged 38_

_Dr David Tenth aged 41_

They were people, completely unrelated people, who all died at the hands of the killing curse. They had never met one another, as far as I knew, and had nothing sinister in their lives that could have driven them to be murdered in such a violent fashion.

Eventually I came across the 1969 Year Book and began flicking through the pages. I found her in a photo of the Toad Choir, singing in the back row. She was a tall and stocky Hufflepuff with mousey brown hair tied back and a grin on her face. Clearly somebody who enjoyed life, not somebody who deserved to be killed in her London apartment and found a few days later by her younger brother.

At the back of the book there was a page for each graduating student that highlighted their achievements that year; I flicked through until I found her page. It had been defiled, the word MUDBLOOD scrawled across it in black ink. Probably some pretentious Slytherin's who believed they were better than all us muggleborn kids. Ugh. They disgusted me.

I shoved the book away, if those dicks had known when they defaced her page that she'd be murdered one day, would they still have done it?

_Probably_, I thought acidly, _they would've found it funny… 'cleansing the wizard race' I heard a kid say the other day… idiot…_

I jumped up suddenly, "Merlin, how could I be so thick?!"

* * *

"Prongs, I've got it!" I grinned, dumping a load of student records and newspapers onto his bed.

"Where'd you get these?" James asked in bewilderment.

I shrugged, "Stole them from the library while Pince wasn't looking, but that doesn't matter because _I worked it out_!"

He jumped up and looked over my shoulder, "Explain,"

"They're all muggleborn, every single one of them!" I opened up the books and pointed to the names, matching them to the newspaper clippings.

"Hmm, and what of this Voldemort guy…" James asked.

I sighed, pulling out a different book from the stack, "His real name is Tom Riddle and I found him here… he was a Slytherin, Prefect _and_ Head Boy, so I did a little more digging and found this,"

Handing him a different newspaper he read out the title, "_Mysterious Death of Tom Riddle Sr._"

"That clipping is from a muggle newspaper; the old boot died of strange circumstances at Riddle House, Little Hangleton – no markings or anything. It was as if his heart just spontaneous stopped beating for no reason at all…"

James frowned, "So otherwise, the Killing Curse?"

"Precisely," I nodded, "He was quite a wealthy man too, and married to a witch Merope Gaunt for a very short while before leaving her with their unborn son for some reason. Their divorce was the talk of the town,"

"So what, Voldemort killed his father for walking out on them? Bad tempered much…" James questioned.

I shook my head, "These are the local hospital records from 1905," I handed him another few pages.

James flicked through the pages until he came to the part I highlighted, "_Ms Merope Gaunt – died during childbirth_," he read aloud, "He was an orphan?"

I nodded seriously, "Now I checked out all the orphanages in the area and found this one half an hour away…" I pulled out another file and placed in on the bed, "It's called Wool's Orphanage. I did a little digging and found this file,"

James grinned, "How'd you get all of this?"

"Laptop, portable internet stick and a friend back home who is good at hacking," I grinned, thinking of Indiana and her degree in IT.

James gave me a confused look, "A what?"

"Muggle machines… don't worry," I waved his questions off.

"So an angry wizard kid raised in a sad orphanage becomes a psycho killer who hates muggles and muggleborns?" James clarified with a furrow in his brow.

"Pretty much,"

He sighed, "Well that's… sad, I guess,"

"So are the families of the people he murdered," I pointed out plainly.

James tried to smile, but it failed on him, "True… at least we know what we're dealing with now, sorta,"

The door burst open and Sirius and Remus came walking in laughing, but they stopped dead in their tracks – Remus because of the mess we'd created, Sirius because of me.

"What the hell went off in here?" Remus asked with a open jaw at the books and papers lying everywhere.

James and I scrambles to pick everything up and stack them on his bed, throwing the covers over it.

"There, see, clean!" James beamed.

Sirius chuckled looking at James and ignoring me, "Suuuuure it is,"

I stood up and felt a grimace settle of my face, "Hello. How was _your_ day?" I asked, gathering my things and shoving a bunch of lose papers into my bag.

He looked at me with dead eyes, "Alright, hung out with Adriana, you?"

I shrugged, feeling the tension rise in the room, "Nothing much, homework and stuff,"

"Okay then," he nodded stiffly.

"Okay then," I said with equal the amount of acid.

I think James and Remus realised it too as they seemed to be finding little things to do and were avoiding our cold eyes.

"Well. I'm leaving now. Goodbye, Black," I said bluntly, pushing past him and out the door.

"See you in potions, O'Conner," he spoke robotically, without turning around.

As I sprinted down the stairs back towards my dorm, clutching my books to my chest as if they were my lifeline, I shed one tear down my cheek.

It's amazing what one little kiss can do to my heart.

* * *

**REFERENCES^^^**

**I hope you get them.**

**I'm sorry that my time is all mixed up and that Riley's got a laptop in the 70's but whatever I don't care this is FanFiction so I can break rules. Who knows, maybe The Doctor gave it to her?**

**Please review, they make my day!**

_**ALLONS-Y**_


	32. Chapter 32: The Empty Station

_**GAPSTER I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD MAKE A FREAKING FANFICTION ACCOUNT!**_

_**PLEASE!**_

_**OR I'LL MAKE ONE FOR YOU!**_

**Hey. Merry Christmas everybody. I decided it was about time my characters had Christmas too!**

**Sometimes I really wonder what I'm doing with this story. I have a really basic plot outlined but other than that I just wing every chapter with random shit. Lol.**

**I was listening to 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)' by The Proclaimers, 'Houdini' by Foster the People and 'On Top of the World' by Imagine Dragons while writing this chapter.**

* * *

"_Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful,"_

–_Norman Vincent Peale_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Two:_

_Dear Riley,_

_Would it kill you to write? This may surprise you, but we actually do care about your welfare._

_How's school? How're your grades fairing? You'd better be studying for your exams and not out pranking with those boys you're always with. If I get another letter sent here about some prank you've all pulled I swear… anyway, I hope the homework isn't killing you._

_Sarah has given birth to a son a few days ago, his name is Elric and she'll be coming home for the holidays. I know we said you could stay at school this Christmas but you have a nephew to meet so this time you're coming home. Don't you dare complain, be happy for your sister. Please keep all of you magic… stuff… away from him (we wouldn't want an accident, would we dear)._

_I've been slowly reading through the document you sent me on Aurors and, well… it seems rather dangerous. Are you quite sure that's the career choice you'd like to take? You're a wonderful artist! Why not make a job out of that?_

_Oh, and how's Sirius going? Don't forget to tell him Merry Christmas from us back home!_

–_Merry Christmas, Love Mum xxx_

I sighed, letting the letter fall from my weak grip and onto the bed. No matter how many times I read it, the words sting no less. My mother was fluent in three languages, English, French and passive aggressive – much like myself, minus the French part. That language never clicked with me, to my mother's great disapproval.

As for my newborn nephew Elric… well, I'd just stay away from it. Babies are sticky and loud and messy, they're all… squishy looking and weird – not exactly my cup of tea.

"You going home?" Lily asked while eyeing my rucksack and belongings scattered across my area.

I sighed, dumping a stack of semi-folded jean overalls into my rucksack, "Obviously,"

She walked to my bed, eyeing my things cautiously, "Why do you always carry around all those newspapers… this one's from 1905, and it's Muggle…"

I snatched it back from her, "None of your business Evens, we're not even friends, so why do you always act _nice_ to me? You don't bloody have too,"

She frowned, "Well it seems your list of friends has been declining rapidly lately, so I think you should be happy with what you get,"

I grinned sarcastically, "Oh and _there's_ the bitch I know and love,"

Lily scowled at me, "I'm just saying, maybe if you were nice to people for a change they might actually _like you_," She pursed her lips together.

I laughed bitterly, "Right,"

"That aside, I see James with these newspapers all the time too–"

My eyebrows shot up, "So you're _watching_ dear old James these days are we?"

"Shut-up," the fiery-haired girl snapped.

"Defensive…" I tutted.

Lily sighed, "I know you too are up to something… if you're planning to prank Severus…"

I felt anger burn in the pits of my stomach, "Merlin, you know our lives don't revolve around pranking you and your greasy-haired boyfriend – that's just a bloody hobby. The newspapers are none of your business, Lily, so keep your nose out of it,"

"Fine, whatever, sorry for asking…" She frowned and returned to her own packing. We didn't speak again after that.

It was just easier to push people away, when you let them in your exposed – your heart is naked and there's nothing you can do about it. Bad things happened when I trusted people… I trusted my parents and they poisoned me for my entire childhood, I trusted Sirius and he broke my heart. That's the sad truth of the world… the only person you can ever rely on is yourself.

I opened the bottom draw of my side table where I kept the Christmas presents I'd (grudgingly) bought for my family and packed them in. I was left with one last present wrapped in red with a green bow, addressed to Padfoot, my 'best friend'.

With one last look of contempt, I slammed the draw shut.

As I finished, stuffing my laptop in with my textbooks and spray cans, I slung the beat-up linen rucksack over my shoulder and sighed. I took one last look at my dorm and headed downstairs to say good-bye to my few remaining friends.

"Hey Vix!" I heard James call.

I smiled sightly, "Sup Prongs, how's it going?"

"Just coming to say goodbye before you leave… you haven't seen Remus around anywhere, have you?" he asked.

I shook my head then asked, "Did you check the library?"

"Hmm, I should probably check there… I also need to make a copy of those pages we found on the negative effects of love potions. I'm pretty sure we've cracked it, but I wana double check. We always need to double check when it comes to _You-Know-Who_,"

I rolled my eyes, "Really James? His name is Tom,"

"Yeah, but who knows who's listening," James bit his lip.

I understood how he felt; it was a dangerous game we were playing and caution was necessary, if Dumbledore or any of the Order of the Phoenix members for that matter realised what the two of us had been doing for the past few weeks we'd be skinned alive, but the same went for the other side – the number of Riddle's followers grew by the day and anyone could be under his influence…

"So long as we're cautious, we'll be fine. Don't do anything ash while I'm away – just enjoy your holidays…" I smiled, trying to cheer him up.

He sighed heavily, "It would've been easier to gather information of the Order if my parents had let me come home for Christmas this year,"

"Which is probably why they did it. They want to keep you safe, as any parent would," I reassured him, "So stay safe, Prongs,"

"You too, Vixen," he clapped me of the shoulder and I left the Gryffindor common room.

I found Andromeda, Alice and Frank sitting in the Great Hall. Alice noticed me walking towards them first and yelled out, "Oi, get over here, you bloody hipster,"

Rolling my eyes, I sat down beside Andi, "Good morning to you too,"

"I swear to God… I seriously wana slap you every time I see you wearing those things you call _clothes_," Andi commented.

I rolled my eyes, "What've you got against tie-dying?"

She sent me a sweet smile, "Everything, darling,"

"You know bitterness gives you wrinkles, _Andromeda_," I teased and she glared at me.

"Stop it guys," Alice sighed while Frank was holding in laughter, "I'm guessing you're going home for Christmas?"

I nodded glumly, "Yup, can go catch up with friends and suffer in silence with my family… they better not have touched my room…"

"Your folks can't be that bad," Frank put in.

I shrugged, "They're not, but my home is painfully boring and I can't use magic and it just _sucks_,"

"Well, I think most things are boring compared to Hogwarts," Alice grinned.

* * *

It was snowing as Remus and I waited for the Hogwarts Express and my gloved hands were shoved deep into my pockets are we shivered beside each other sitting on the stone bench.

"You don't usually go home for Christmas," Remus stated, trying to spark up a conversation.

I sighed, "My sister had a baby, apparently that constitutes that I have to come home and spend time with _relatives_. I don't see why. It's just a squishy thing that can't even talk… hardly interesting,"

He laughed, "Only you would take that point of view, most people find babies to be special, Riley,"

"They're born every day and everybody used to be one, there's nothing special about that," I spoke bluntly, my breath turning to haze in the frosty weather.

Suddenly, I felt a snowball hit me from behind, "Oi!" I called out, swinging around to see Ted standing their laughing. Quickly, I balled up one of my own and hurled it towards him, but he managed to duck to the side and it flew over him, so I balled up another one.

This continued for a while, until it became quite serious and I pulled Remus in to help me (he'd been watching the battle with a smirk previously) as another couple of people joined in on Ted's side.

"What are you _doing_?" He asked.

"Help me!" I said, dodging another ball of snow but it hit Remus instead and he was suddenly very competitive.

I scouted the area and found two girls I kinda knew from astronomy class sitting on the stone benches with their back to us, loudly I yelled out to Danielle, the Captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and Ganga, a girl whose intelligence rivalled that of Dumbledore and they promptly began helping Remus and I build a fort to shield ourselves from the oncoming snowballs.

"This is mental!" Danielle grinned as she ran out to bombard another girl who'd taken Ted's side… Jessica, I think her name was. I recognised her as one of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team's chasers, and myself, considered her to be a genuine sociopath.

"Forfeit!" Ted yelled out.

"Never!" I replied as Ganga pegged him in the head with another snowball.

By the time the Hogwarts Express had chugged it' way into the station, most kids were sore from a few too many hits and frozen to the bone, with ice running down their backs and their gloves soaked through with icy water – the warm interior of the train was well welcomed. As we boarded there was great debate over who won the battle, but people soon hyped down about it as we left.

Remus and I found an empty compartment near the back end of the train and sat ourselves down. I took off my hoodie, gloves and beanie which were dripping in icy sludge and laid them out on the empty seat beside me. He smiled slightly shaking his head as he followed in my lead, stripping of the soaked clothes, 'I cannot believe you pulled me into that…"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh come _on_, Moony, even you have to admit that was fun… I saw you laughing,"

"I guess you're right…" he said, smile growing wider.

"I'm always right," I spoke smugly as Remus nodded in mock-agreement.

Our conversation died down after that so eventually I curled myself up next to the frosted window (stuffing my scarf under my head to work as a pillow), the train's gentle movement rocking me to sleep.

* * *

I moaned as I felt somebody shaking me awake, "Go away…"

"Riley, were here… _wake up_," Remus kept poking me until I sat up with a foul expression on my face.

Bitterly muttering to myself, I gathered my things and slung my rucksack over one shoulder and left the compartment with Remus, double checking nothing has been left.

As we stepped onto the platform, I was hit with a cold blast of wind. My eyes scanned the loud pushy crowd of parents for anybody related to me.

"Can you see your folks?" I asked Remus.

"Nah… wait… yeah, Dad's over there," he pointed to his mother and father who were talking to another parent I didn't recognise, "C'mon, Vix, let's go,"

Remus's parents greeted me warmer than I believed mine ever could with a tight hug from his mother and a handshake accompanied by a warm smile from his father.

"How've you been, Remus?" his mother asked her son, "_Changing_ okay?"

He frowned, "It's fine mum,"

Then the bubbly woman turned to me, "How have you been fairing, darling?" Mrs Lupin asked.

I smiled, "Fine, thanks, and yourself?"

They both laughed, "Missing our boy, mostly,"

Remus grinned as his father ruffled his hair.

"So where're your parents, Riley?" Mr Lupin asked.

"I'm not sure; I think I'd better look," I said, biting my lip.

"Oh, okay. Well, you have a merry Christmas, darling," Mrs Lupin beamed.

Remus grinned, "See ya, Vix,"

"Bye!" I waved to the Lupin family then disappeared into the crowd.

I searched for around half an hour before I realised they weren't there and left Platform 9 1/3 to see if my family were anywhere else in the station.

It was an hour after that that I began to doubt they were anywhere in the station.

And another hour after that when I gave up looking and realised they'd completely forgotten me. So I sat down on a cold bench outside and waited…

… And waited…

… And waited a little longer…

_Merry Christmas_, I thought to myself bitterly.

* * *

**SUBTLE **_**FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST**_** AND **_**AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER**_** REFERENCES FTW.**

**I don't know why I always fill my FanFiction with references but meh it's my writing I can do whatever. Just be happy I didn't name her nephew Aang or Zuko or Sokka…**

**Also I have a poll on my Profile about what the sequel should be called since I'm stumped with choosing a title.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Lately my count has been rapidly declining… I don't know if my writing quality is declining or if you're getting bored or just can't be fucked but I'll try and write better anyways.**

**THERE WON'T BE AN UPDATES FOR A LITTLE WHILE SINCE I'M GOING CAMPING WITH FAMILY OVER NEW YEARS WHICH IS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY AND SO YEAH DON'T BE MAD.**

**While I'm gone maybe you could check out some of my other writing? (Yes I am shamelessly promoting myself here whatever):**

**- **_**Christmas Stars**_** – In which Riley O'Conner meets the Doctor (Harry Potter/Doctor Who crossover).**

**- **_**The Depths of Black Coffee**_** – A poem about my take on one-sided Johnlock and a more realistic view of the show/pairing, since Sherlock is a sociopath and that cannot change (BBC Sherlock).**

**- **_**Whisper Me A Story**_** – A poem about Doctor Who!**


	33. Chapter 33: A Lonley Christmas

…**so yeah how was your day…?**

**Listening to **_**Smash Mouth**_**. I'm pretty sure you can guess which song. If you can't, you're very young and/or haven't seen **_**Shrek**_**.**

* * *

"_Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship,"_

–_Margaret Mead_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Three:_

I would've bought a bus ticket if I'd had any Muggle money on me, but I didn't, so I was stuck. It was around five minutes before I was going to begin walking home that my Uncle Simon pulled up outside the train station.

My father's younger brother was not a tall man, or a short man or any kind of man at all. He was plain in almost every aspect of physical appearance and personality, save the stress lines etched into his face by his job as air landing control officer.

Uncle Simon wasn't a very talkative man, and I wasn't exactly in a talkative mood, so very few words out side of 'hello' and 'merry Christmas' were passed in the drive home through snowy London streets in his dirty cream coloured 1964 Pontiac GTO Coupe.

As he parked down the road from our house, I saw recognised the cars of other family members parked around too.

It was growing darker as I stepped inside my home after Uncle Simon for the first time in months. It was loud inside, my family's annual meet-up Christmas party in full swing.

"I was the only one sober enough to drive and get you who also knew where the train station was," Simon said plainly as we looked at the rest of my family socialising in the living room.

"Thank you," I said to him and we both dispersed into the crowd.

Nobody had seen our arrival, so quietly I snuck upstairs to my attic bedroom. A layer of dust covered everything, which was a good sign that nobody had been up here while I was at school. The thought of people going through my things always brought sickness to my stomach.

Quickly, I changed my near-soaked clothes for something warm and grudgingly headed back down stairs.

"Hey,_ darlin'_!" My mother grinned at me and stumbled into an awkward one-sided hug at the bottom of the staircase, squeezing me tight and locking my arms against my sides.

"Hello mother," I spoke plainly in an attempt to keep acid from leaking into my voice. She was drunk and she'd forgotten me and left me at a train station to freeze. They were the facts and I couldn't do anything about them, so there was no point in complaining or making a fool of myself over-reacting in front on the family who only see's my once a year and base their opinion of my entirely of my on that experience.

But I'm _me_, I'm _Riley O'Conner_ and I am _fucking _pissed off, so the normal rules didn't apply and even if they did, I'd snap them in half like a dry twig.

"Let go of me!" I pushed her away and she gave me a shocked impression, "You left me to freeze at train station! You forgot me! Your own daughter! What is _wrong_ with you!"

She gave me unusual expression, squinting her eyes while examining me, "What wrong with your face, Wiley?" _Elizabeth_ asked with a laugh, no, not mother.

"It's a scar. Never seen one?" I hissed bitingly, attempting to keep my cool.

She reached out her fingers to touch it, but I recoiled violently away, hitting her hand out of the way, "No, Elizabeth," I said firmly and my mother burst into tears.

"My little Wiley has carvings on her face!" She sobbed, "Fix it! _Fix it now_!"

That was it – I felt my rage burst from me, "_I fucking can't_! You think if I could, I would have?"

By this time, we'd attracted the attention of most of the room and everything suddenly fell silent aside from my Elizabeth's pathetic drunken sobbing. Miranda came and hugged my mother, pulling her to the side while sending me a greasy glare.

I stormed upstairs in fury and felt somebody follow me. Not a good idea.

"Riley, what is wrong with you!" my father finally appeared from the crowd.

"What wrong with me?" I scoffed, "What's wrong with you? You left me to freeze at a train station!"

He scowled condescendingly, "It was an innocent mistake."

"Well _you're_ obviously not totally pissed _Darren_, why didn't you come and get me?" I asked, acid dripping from every word.

"Don't be rude, I am hosting a party, I cannot leave the house unattended," he said hotly.

I barked out a bitter laugh, "What about Elizabeth? She could've looked after the guests…. oh wait… _she's fucking off her head_!"

"Language, missy!" he barked, holding out a stern pointer finger.

"Fuck that, she just ridiculed me in front of everybody. You think I like my scar? You think I what it there, staring back at me every time I look in the mirror?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes as if I were an, "You're a witch, you're a shapeshifter – just get rid of it,"

I threw my hands up in the air, "Magic doesn't _work_ like that! This scar is cursed! It will never leave me! You know_ nothing_!"

He lowered his voice and spoke slowly, "Magic is magic and no matter what, we're all still family. You had no right to do that to your mother, she was intoxicated and she didn't know what she was doing. Now go to your room and stay there. This is final."

We stared into each other's eyes for a short period of time which felt more like an eternity until I muttered, "We may be family, but everybody down there is muggle while I am magic. We don't belong in the same _world_, yet alone the same _family_,"

Then I swiftly turned form him, stormed up to my attic and slammed the door.

* * *

When I woke Sarah was sitting at the end of my bed head slightly hung, gently shaking me with one hand while cradling young Elric in the other.

"Hey, kiddo," she smiled warmly at me.

"Sup sis, any reason for waking me at 7 in the morning?" I yawned and sat up. She turned and crossed her legs, facing me a placed Elric in-between us, "No seriously, what's going on?"

Sarah took in a deep breath and then spoke quite fast, "His eyes keep changing colour and today he's shorter than yesterday and paler while yesterday he was pale and I think he's… well… like you and I have no idea what to do…"

My eyes were wide as I stared down at the baby boy, "Oh…" was the only thing I could muster.

She stared down at her son, "I just… don't know what to do. How do I raise a… a…"

"Wizard? Easy – don't screw up like mum and dad did," I spoke with spite.

She rolled her eyes and said plainly, "Seriously, Ri, what the hell do I do?"

"I am being serious. Do not do what they did. Take baby pictures even though in every one he looks different, raise him knowing of his heritage, don't avoid it – raise him a wizard and a metamorphmagus and defiantly make sure you never ever make him feel like a freak because of it," I said strongly.

"Is that how you felt?" she ventured.

"Pretty much… just don't put him through not knowing,"

She nodded in understanding, "Okay… but I know nothing about magic and your world,"

Shrugging, I answered simply, "Learn,"

"Will you help?" Sarah asked hopefully.

I nodded, "I'll answer any questions,"

She bit her lip, "Actually, I was kinda hoping… well… that you'd be his Godmother…"

"_What_?" I choked out in shock. This, out of all unexpected things that I'd learnt this morning, I was not definitely not expecting.

"Well, I want him to have somebody like him to be raised with and it's not like I'm going to go and knock of Mr and Mrs Black's door over at Grimmauld Place…"

I winced at the mention of Sirius's parents, "Okay, I'll think about it," I answered, "Now, how are you planning on telling your husband? I suspect he knows nothing of our Bonechild heritage…"

"Bonechild?" she stared at me quizzically.

I waved off the question, "We'll get to that later,"

My elder sister sighed heavily, "As for telling Daniel, I'm trying not to think about it. It'd probably help if you were there as an example of magic to prove it…"

Shaking my head, I corrected her, "I can't do magic in front of a Muggle who doesn't know. I could morph though, would that be enough?"

"That would be fine," Sarah grinned happily; the worry lines had seemingly faded away since the beginning of our conversation, "Would you like to hold him? Even if he's not your Godson, he is still your nephew,"

I smiled slightly, "Fine, but then we shall begin your training…"

Sarah handed over the small squishy metamorphmagus and I held him op to my face for inspection. The boy smiled and placed his tinny palm on my cheek… and I saw him morph his own face.

Usually I this would have made me happy, if not for the fact the baby was now wearing my scar.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! They make my day ^_^**

**Also, I'm still looking for a BETA reader to help with grammar, punctuation, spelling etc. If you are willing to BETA, please PM me!**


	34. Chapter 34: Hollow Heart, Hollow Home

**Sorry for not updating, I really have no excuse.**

**Also, I have a BETA reader now… my FUCKING EPIC friend **_**Gapster**_** who's kindly offered to slowly work her way from the beginning and through this immense novel-sized FanFiction. **

* * *

"_Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."_

–_Stephen Chbosky 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Four:_

It was an unusual feeling, telling Sarah about my life and my world. A warm feeling that swelled in the pit of my stomach. A good feeling.

I forgot how much they didn't know, how much I'd kept from my family unintentionally. In a sense, Sarah had always been my favourite sister, but I'd always previously accounted that to the fact we hardly knew each other because of the giant age gap.

It seemed her questions became less ignorant and silly the more she asked until she had a basic and rounded knowledge of the Wizarding World. Of course I left out all information about Tom Riddle, muggle-born murder and the impending war, since I didn't find that to be a suitable topic to hit a beginner with.

"If you have any other questions while I'm a school, owl me, okay?" I smiled looking at my clock, "But I think we should have lunch now before we miss it,"

She frowned, "I can't send you letters though. I don't have an owl."

"Mother sends mail addressed to a friend of mine's named Greg and he sends them with his owl, but I think he loses most of them since mum always complains in the letters I _do_ get that I don't reply to the ones I _don't_ get… you can buy one in Diagon Alley at _Eeylops Owl Emporium_,"

"Could you take me to Diagon Alley?" Sarah questioned.

I shrugged, "Yeah, but we'd have to get the Knight Bus to the Leaky Cauldron in the centre of London,"

"Or we could take my car," she laughed.

I shrugged, "Okay, there's that too, but the Knight Bus is cool…"

"Either way, are you free tomorrow?" Sarah asked.

I nodded and we slipped off my bed, headed towards the stairs.

* * *

Dinner was held by a heavy silence, I'd managed to avoid most of my family for most of the day, but I can only remain shut-up in my room for so long.

Scoffing down the remnants of my pasta and guzzling my water, I jumped out of my seat and jumped the bowl in the sink.

"See ya', I'm going out," I said with a quick wave and opened the door.

"Excuse me? It's ten at night!" my father spoke condescendingly.

I gave him a blank look, slinging my rucksack over my shoulder, "So? I'm going to see my friends…"

My mother now joined the conversation, "Not at this time of night. Get back inside and do as your father says!"

"No."

They gave me shocked expressions, "We are your parents and you must do what we say – after you're eighteen you can do whatever, but for now, _you are not going_,"

I laughed, "It's seventeen,"

Eveybody at the table gave me blank stares.

"In less than a year I'll be a legal adult in _my_ world,"

"Well, you aren't yet and until then you aren't alowed to leave the house," I could see my father trying to remain calm.

With a bitter laugh, I replied, "You're grounding me? Seriously? Well, good luck with enforcing that,"

Before they could answer, I slammed the door behind me, leaving a room full of shocked faces.

This was around about my home life now; avoiding family members, causing tension when I walk into the room and picking fights with… almost everybody.

I felt the chill in the air, and pulled the hood of my coat up, shoving my hands further down into my pockets. The icy breeze drifted, in a way that it didn't simply roll through a place, but lurked and swirled around… whispering to the trees and searching for the cracks in windows and gaps in clothing so it can creep its way down your spin and set a cold chill on your insides.

The streets were coated with a thin layer of snow that crunched beneath my converse. Suddenly, I took a miss-step on a layer of hidden ice and came crashing to the ground. My contents of my rucksack spilled across the sidewalk, paint cans dripping a mirage of colours and staining the snow. Slowly, I picked myself up and dusted the snow off my jacket, checking the scrapes on my knees. Quickly checking that nobody was looking, I pulled my wand from my boots and cast, "_Episkey_," with a whisper.

Looking to my art supplies that had been scattered across the pavement, I sighed and muttered bitterly while I began collecting them all up, "Great. Just great. This really sums up my evening finely,"

I checked them for cracks before placing them back in my rucksack, but only a few I had to dump in the garbage because of breakage. I was about to keep walking when something caught my eyes, glinting in the lowlight from the flickering street lamp above.

When I picked up the forever morphing charm I smiled, a small sad smile even when I wished to scowl, to throw it to the ground in spite... I simply couldn't. No, not this.

_It was almost midnight and I was exhausted. This day had probably been the strangest of birthdays I'd ever had in my existence. The days started with a letter and now it was ending with me curled up in my duvet in bed, holding the small parcel that'd been almost burning in my pocket all day._

_I didn't really know what lay underneath the small brown paper folds and green ribbon, but my curiosity and theories had been building since the morning and only now did I have the chance to see how far from correct I was._

_On the brown paper the words were written 'don't rip the wraping!' in black ink. Words I'd been muddling around in my mind for most of the day. But, as Sirius had written, I carefully began tugging at the folds; no tape seemed to have been used but a sort of spell that kept it together until I began unwrapping it._

_Soon I realised there was writing on the inside face of the brown paper, so when I finished I was left with a black box and a crumpled letter._

_Flattening it out with my palm, I began to read the sloppy cursive writing;_

_Hey Riley,_

_Startly of all, I'd like to begin with an APOLOGY even though that's really not a very cheery start to a birthday letter. I'm sorry I neglected to tell you about my human existence that lived outside of my furry one over the years, but truly, I just didn't know how. I had my theories you were a witch, but I never knew FOR SURE until today when I saw that owl deliver your HOGWARTS ACCEPTANCE LETTER. I knew then I had to tell you. Even if you hate me afterwards, I couldn't live with the lie._

_Nextly, I'd like to wish you a HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY and that you don't (kill me) completely hate me for what I did._

_And finishly, in regards to your PREASENT, the charm fuses itself to the first person who touches it (like snitches… wait you don't know what they are… hmm) and kinda sorta MIRROR your PERSONALITY, I guess. So long as you keep it ON or NEAR you, it will record all MAJOR THOUGHTS and MEMORIES (this including the metal morphing into something that represents you) that you'd deem important although you can control what goes into it if you want like when homework is due. _

_In finishing conclusion I hope you forgive me for hiding my talkative side and have a BRILLIANT birthday!_

–_Sirius 'Padfoot' Black_

_The contents of the box held true to Sirius's words; it was a charm of both of the magic and metallic kind shaped. It looked like a metal sphere on a key chain until I picked it up and the metal began to morph... and it never stopped. Every time it was close to settling of a form it'd begin shuffling again._

'_Maybe it takes a while to settle,' I thought before closing my eyes, the charm in my hand._

As I held it in front of me I felt it whispering my past to me all at once, the little secret thoughts that nobody knew, the memories my mind had lost with age, the pieces of past I'd forgotten.

And the very first, the image that had been in my mind as I fell asleep on the silent night I received this gift.

_Sirius._

I pushed the thoughts away, shoving his trinket into my rucksack and shaking my head. That's all I really did lately – shove the thought of him away as if it were poison in my mind. Maybe it was… a sort of painful poison that leaked though every thought of him and dripped from every blissful memory of the days when we were friends.

_Best _friends.

Something I entirely screwed up, with nothing other than a simple kiss. A quick peck of puckered lips. How could an expression of love be our ruin?

Unrequired love. That was my poison. Mix that with a hint of jealously, dash of heartache and a sprinkle of hatred and you'll see exactly why I simply could not under any circumstances think of _that particular boy that I shall not name on principle_.

Of course, I couldn't not think of him either. There's always that slight glimmer that rests I the back of my heart…

Hope.

Stupid, foolish fucking _hope_.

Sometimes I wish I had no hope, that Pandora was a little too curious and didn't shut the lid on time for hope to remain trapped in her mysterious box. Hope hurts. Hope burns.

Why can't the burning stop? Why can I not sever my heart from my mind?

But of course I could never do that. I would be no better that Tom Riddle, the boy who severed his heart because his hope was too painful to deal with. I blatantly _refuse _to become that sort if coward.

So I just keep… pushing it all away. Bottling it up. Storing it elsewhere.

With a sigh, I slung the rucksack over my shoulder and kept walking, wondering why everything was so fucked up.

* * *

"_VIXEN_!" the thrilled scream rang through the tunnels, echoing ominously into the darkness and I found myself being squeezed in a bear hug by an old friend.

I grinned, a wide beaming smile, "It's good… to see you… to… Indiana… can't… _breathe_…"

She let me go with a chuckle as I felt somebody clap me on the shoulder, "Don't usually see you at Christmas, Little Fox…" the voice of Marshal said as I turned, pulling him into a hug.

"Where's Greg?" I asked and Indi gestured to further down the tunnel.

As we walked through the maze, a glowing light appeared in the distance. I could hear the mumbles of my other fellow tunnel-dwellers growing louder until I began to realise what Greg was yelling.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk? Why is a raven like a writing desk? _Why is a raven like a writing desk_?!" he kept repeating over and over, getting more and more frustrated with every word.

Smiling, I called out the answer, "Because all the world is a stage!"

The old mad man seemed to calm, "Riley? You be here? In the Underland, the Neverworld, the Foreverwhere! Why, well and which, where – that be the brew of thinkers to think thoughts of thousands and thickets of thistles and thestrals thawing thanks for three pence peace pictures…"

It was around there that he lost me in his rambling which turned into a sort of confused muttering.

"He's getting worse," I deadpanned.

Marshal smiled sadly, "There's nothing we can do… he didn't recognise Tran and Sooki the other day. His Alzheimer's is getting worse quite rapidly…"

Sighing, I looked to my elder friend, "I wish I could do something to help,"

"Don't we all?" Indiana tried to smile and a still silence fell upon us while we watched Greg, so completely transfixed by his own world.

Suddenly, Tran entered the area from a different tunnel opening, "Is that… Vix I see?" he pulled a wide smile, "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Almost didn't recognise you with the big mess of blue hanging from your head," Tran laughed, rubbing his jaw.

"If you're referring to my hair, then I'd call you blind. It's quite obviously bright orange," I joked, sarcasm littering my words.

He smiled slyly, "Wit bond measure–"

"–Is a man's greatest treasure," I finished for him with a wink, "So where's Sooki tonight?"

"At home, five months pregnant," he spoke and checked his watch, "Which reminds me that I should be getting home,"

This was new news to me as I tried to keep the shock from showing on my face, "Boy or girl?" I questioned.

"We're leaving that for a surprise, since it doesn't really matter anyway. Boy or girl, its names going to be Rowan… Sooki says it will protect the baby from being snatched from fey creatures," Tran rolled his eyes. Usually, I would've laughed at somebody who said such things but I couldn't blame Sooki and Tran, them being Muggles and everything.

"I want it to be a girl," Indiana grinned at me.

I gave him a quick hug, "Well, congratulations. It was good seeing you,"

He smiled slightly, "You too, Vix. See you all tomorrow night,"

Then Tran left, rushing down the tunnel, desperate to get home to Sooki. A woman such as Sooki is demanding enough without the fact she now pregnant, the thought of it gave me shivers and I felt a pang of pity for Tran, who has to deal with her.

The remaining three of us joined Greg near the fire to keep warm, "I'm guessing Ratchet isn't out yet?"

Marshal shook his head, "Two more months 'till he comes home,"

"And his progress…" I continued to probe.

Indiana sighed, "Rehab has been… bumpy for Ratch. Definitely not easy. But, he's getting there…"

The news was good to hear, last time I sat down in these tunnels before the start of my sixth year, he'd been at his worst and completely delusional about his addiction.

Our conversation continued on, staring with them asking about how boarding school was going. I fibbed the least amount possible and diverted our conversation to other topics when I could. I didn't really like lying to the people who practically raised me. I hated that it was necessary.

Eventually Marshal packed up and left also, so Indiana and I made our way through the tunnel system. She showed the progress that had been made while I was away; apparently the tongueless kid had been showing up more and more lately, bringing along his strange dark artwork.

I learned that Indi has completed her degree in architecture and is due to start work after the New Year. Also, she was dumped quite abruptly by her (now ex) boyfriend of three years and is now living alone for the first time in a while.

It was near two in the morning when we climbed out of the tunnels. I didn't want to go home, so I just stood there.

"Are you okay, Vix?" she asked with concern in her eyes.

I shook my head, "I-I can't go home," the sudden realisation hit me; I was tired, "I just can't face my parents tonight… usually I can, but not tonight. I need a break from the tension and the snide comments,"

She put her arm around my shoulders and sent a smile my way, "Come on, then, I can put you up for a night,"

The drive to her apartment was silent. She never asked about the problems I had with mum and dad. She didn't question. She didn't tell me to stop being whiney. She didn't judge.

Indiana just caught me when I fell and help me get my balance.

She flicked on the light as we walked on the door. Quickly rushing to the cupboard to gather a few blankets, folding one to act as a pillow, "Hope the couch is fine,"

"I don't care where I sleep," I tried to smile, but I just couldn't.

Sitting down on the couch, I felt tears begin stinging in my eyes. Indi remained silent as I sobbed measily, face in hands. She put the blanket around my shoulder and walked into the kitchen.

It wasn't clear to me the exact reason I was crying, all I knew was I needed to. Maybe it because I suddenly realised just how fucked everything was, maybe it's because I'd been bottling verything u for too long.

All I knew what is that moment, I didn't care.

Indiana re-emerged with a bottle and a glass. She popped the cork of the top of the cheap wine and poured a good dose of the ruby liquid.

"Usually I don't condone underage drinking, but truly Riley, you bloody well need to unwind," she took a drink out of the glass and handed me the bottle.

I raised it to my lips, taking a great swig and forgot the world around me.

* * *

**IMPORTANT QUESTION:**

**Should this story be moved up to **_**M Rated **_**status?**

**It has both sexual and drug references, teenaged drinking and some quite violent chapters coming in the future.**

**It's your choice. Tell me what your opinion is in your Reviews. Please note that if I get more than five votes to move it up to **_**M Rating**_**, it will be changed.]**

**Just know this story will not ever contain any sort of lemon or smut.**

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_


	35. Chapter 35: Half Full English Breakfast

**It's now confirmed that the sequel to **_**'Exceptionally Ordinary' **_**with be titled **_**'Infinitely Average' **_**thanks to the pole I had on my profile.**

**Yes, I did say sequel. It'll be her 7th Year. I'm not sure if there will be a third 'book' because that's very far away in the future and I don't plan that far ahead, still, if people have idea's for more names put them in your reviews.**

**Oh, and I'm sorry for anybody who was going that you'd get to read about a drunk Riley, but I don't write drunks very well (as you saw with her mother… ugh) especially ones in a temporary depressive state.**

**Basically listening to the 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' soundtrack… if you haven't seen that movie or read that book I feel sorry for you, it is truly amazing…**

* * *

"_Sounded sad upon the radio,_

_Moved a million hearts in mono,_

_Our mothers cried,_

_Sang along, who'd blame them,_

_Now you're grown, so grown,"_

– _Dexys Midnight Runners 'Come On Eileen'_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Five: _

"Here you go," Indiana pushed a plate topped with cooked food towards me, "A full English fry up, to help cure the hangover… or half full anyway, I didn't have any tomatoes or baked beans, sorry,"

"That doesn't matter, thanks for this," I smiled.

"And keep drinking water, it'll help," she instructed.

I could see the guilt in her eyes. She felt bad for getting me pissed outa my mind and telling her it definitely wasn't my first time totally smashed didn't seem to help either. Still, magical alcoholic drinks like firewhisky didn't leave you with the feeling of overwhelming nausea and a throbbing headache.

She looked me up and down, "Take these," she handed me a pair of sunglasses, "It'll help you're your newfound aversion to light,"

I went to laugh, but instead found myself scrambling my way towards the bathroom. Indiana followed, holding back my bright blue hair while I kneeled over the toilet. The site wasn't a pretty one as I emptied my gut, but it did make me feel slightly better afterwards.

Not for the first time, I wish I paid more attention in Herbology. There's probably some slimy and disgusting plant from the bottom of a lake that'd make me feel less zombified.

Indi sat me back down in front of my breakfast, and feeling better, I began to slowly eat.

"So what have you got planned for today? I asked out of curiosity.

She took a sip of her coffee and checked the time, "Well, I'm quitting my job at that Mexican Restaurant in order to start work at an actual well-paying job. You?"

I sighed, "Taking my elder sister out. She just had a kid and wants me to be the Godmother,"

"So what, you don't want to?" she questioned, sitting down opposite me.

With a shrug, I answered, "Well, look at me. I'm not exactly a stable person and I'm hardly reliable,"

Indi looked at me strangely, "You say that as if you expect to not be here for the kid,"

"Maybe I won't, I could die any day," I spoke bluntly.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't be dramatic, Ri. Anybody can die any day,"

I laughed bitterly, "I have a… higher chance,"

"Is something wrong? Can I help? Did you get involved in a gang…" her tone was serious.

I shook my head, "Don't worry, it's not like that…"

"Are you sick? Do you have cancer? Are you _pregnant_?"

"No! None of those things, Jesus, calm down," I shook my head.

She frowned, "Okay… just make sure you're safe, please,"

"Of course," I lied through my teeth.

* * *

When I stepped back into the house, nobody said a word.

"Good morning," I bluntly addressed the twins who sat beside each other in the kitchen and they almost succeeded in refusing to acknowledge my existence, but failed after a quick dart of the eyes in my direction and a chuckle at my more or less obvious hung-over status.

Sarah walked down the stairs. When she saw me she broke into what seemed to be a relieved smile and pulled me into a tight hug, "Where'd you go?"

"I stayed with my friend, Indiana," shrugging I allowed myself to be lead upstairs by Sarah.

"So where's the squishy thing?" I questioned.

Sarah rolled her eyes at me, "Daniel took little Elric to meet his other Grandparents, so that we could have they day… you do remember, right?"

I nodded, "Of course I remember, it's not every day I bring a Muggle to Diagon Alley,"

"How about you… clean yourself up before we leave. You smell like vomit, no offense," she smirked, arms folded across her chest.

Sniffing under my armpits, I quickly recoiled from the smell of my own boldly odour, "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," I smiled lopsidedly before turning to advance up the final flight of stairs to my room.

I had a penchant for long showers. I loved playing an old music and standing under the scalding water that cleared my mind, the smell of lemon shampoo filling my senses. I loved being able to think nothing but white, water washing away the negativity. I loved mapping out the cracks in the tiles and filling my mouth with water. The shower helped dull my throbbing head and pulsing thoughts, a welcome sedative to my muddled mind.

Stepping out onto the bathroom mat, I wrapped a towel around myself and whipped the fogged mirror with a cloth. Looking at myself, I remembered when I first realised I was a metamorphmagus… when I'd stand in front of a mirror for hours on end wondering who I was. I almost had a breakdown once, suffering from a massive case of identity crisis.

Everybody grows up with the knowledge that life will shape them, mould them. Experience will carve wrinkles in their faces and sadness with gleam in their eyes. Stress will age them beyond their years and love will make them glow, but I didn't have this. There was no constant. When I'm eighty and I wake in the morning, I will not see what the world gave to me but what I created myself.

In a way, I am everything and in another I am nothing. Truly, I identified with both; everything and nothing. A millions faces and a millions stories they did tell, but none of them my own. Sometimes I wish that world would carve me for once, sometimes I wish that I knew what I truly looked like, because even that I know not anymore. I try to keep a constant appearance, but it's so hard… everyday people grow, but I stay the same until I realise I'm lagging behind and I have to age myself bit by bit everyday so I can fit in with the rest.

Tracing the scar with the tips of my fingers, I smiled slightly… a small sad smile. It didn't matter that my face was twisted, that my upper lip seemed to curl towards the jagged claw wound. It may be ugly, it may horrid, but it was constant.

So long as it cut down my face, I had an anchor. It will age, fading slightly over time. No matter what mask I wore, my scar will be there to keep me grounded to the rest of the world. It gave me an identity. It made my shifting skins into something permanent.

And really, that's all I ever wanted.

Drying off my hair, I decided to keep my usual copper curls and amber eyes. The face I grew up with. The one I knew, but sometimes I wondered if it was my true one or just the one that I was wearing when my parents drugged me.

I tried not to think too much about it.

Still sometimes, much like now, my mind betrayed me.

Minds tend to do that.

* * *

Snow fell from the sky, so softly that you could miss it as it hid in plain sight.

I tied the grey-stained shoelaces of my old battered converse on the concrete doorstep and slung my linen rucksack over my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" Sarah yelled, beeping the horn. I grinned and jumped into the passenger seat of her small lime-coloured car and began driving. I rummaged through the collection of cassette tapes in her glove box until I came across something a band that was actually worth listening to.

Blowing the slight layer of dust off the cassette, I pushed it into the player and turned up the volume, waiting for _The Smiths_ to begin playing.

"So where is the entrance to Diagon Alley?" Sarah asked me.

I smiled warmly at her, "It's out the back of a pub called the Leaky Cauldron on Charing Cross Road, London,"

Sarah nodded and her eyebrows furrowed in thought, "I think I know that road… a school friend of mine used to live close by…"

Shrugging, I let her figure out the navigation. I offered the Knight Bus as a form of transportation and she declined, so it's her job to get us there.

After a few minutes of fumbling with maps, we were on the road again. I'm pretty sure I fell asleep because the next thin g I remembered was groggily opening my eyes from Sarah. I climbed out of the car, walking down the street until I stopped outside of a crooked building that didn't really fit with the rest of the street.

"Do you even know we're going?" Sarah sighed.

I nodded and pointed directly in front of us, "There,"

She sent me a look of distain, "That's an old furniture shop, so seriously, where if it?"

With a sigh, I grabbed her wrist and tugged her along with me, pushing the reluctant door open and entering the pub. Wizards and witches of many ages chatted over drinks at the bar and many others sat at the tables with food, none really noticed our entrance as I led Sarah through the Sunday crowd with her mouth agape.

"But… but… this was a furniture shop…" she stuttered, looking around with wide eyes.

I smirked, "Magic, remember. Please don't tell me you're going to do that with everything we encounter…"

She shook her head, "I think I'm over the initial shock…"

"Good, because we're not even there yet," I indicated to the back door and she followed me into the small court yard out back. I pulled my wand from behind my ear and tapped the bricks in the wall in a counter-clockwise order; they then began shifting and changing until the bricks settled in the form of an archway.

"Welcome, sister, to my world," I winked and we stepped into Diagon alley.

* * *

**Okay, this story is officially timeless. YES, Riley can have a laptop yet still listen to cassette tapes. YES, she can act as if The Beatles, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and The Smiths are from the same time. It's all very wibbly wobbly timey wimey… **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	36. Chapter 36: Tear Stains

**If anybody finds lyrics or a quote that fits the chapter better, please tell me in your reviews and I'll change it, with credit to you for finding it of course!**

**That you ****_Forever Siriusly Sirius_**** for the quote!**

* * *

_"You can feel the light start to tremble,_

_Washing what you know out to sea,_

_You can see your life out of the window, tonight."_

_–One Republic 'If I Loose Myself'_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Six:_

There's a large difference between sitting down cross-legged on a bed and telling somebody about magic's many wonders and opening the gateway to show them its magnificent splendour.

You can sit there know something's true, believe in its reality… but it's never actually_real_ for you until it's hit you in the face.

And that was the expression on Sarah's face, as if somebody had reach out and slapped it.

I chuckled and kept pulling her along, "C'mon, let start with getting something to eat on me,"

She nodded to show she heard me, but her eyes were fixed on a hoard of flying blue pixies that were pulling of the hair of a girl across the way.

Sarah staggered around, still clutching to my arm, as she seemed to be looked at everything all at once. A few times she almost stumbled into people as she didn't watch were she was going. I wondered if this is how I was when I first came here with… Sirius.

I frowned, shaking my head, and blocked out the thought of him.

"So where are we going?" she asked me, eyes bright with excitement.

With a grin, I said cheerily, "_Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour_,"

"Ice Cream? It's snowing!" she questioned with a cocked eyebrow.

I nodded seriously, "Yes, Ice Cream. It's the epitome of everything, no matter the weather," and proceeded to weave the way through a bustling post-Christmas Crowd, with Sarah following steadily in my step.

We pushed the door open of the parlour and were greeted by a warm interior. I shrugged off my coat and removed my gloves, hanging them on the coat rack at the front. We were the only ones in the shop aside from Mrs Fortescue who breamed at us.

"It's so warm in here, why doesn't all of that ice cream melt?" she asked.

I chuckled, "It's doesn't melt, it's not Muggle ice cream,"

"Hello dearies," the elderly woman grinned, "What would you like?"

I leaned down and peered at the different flavours, "I'll have a cone of liquorish and toffee,"

Sarah looked quite baffled, "I-I don't recognise lots of these flavours…" she spoke with a furrowed brow.

"Well, I just brewed some seaweed ice cream, that's always a favourite," the woman indicated to the tub of sickly coloured ice cream.

"I think I'll just have what she's having, thank you…" Sarah smiled uneasily.

Mrs Fortescue handed us duel cones, "That'll be two galleons, dearies,"

I reached into my wallet and placed the coins on the counter with a smile. Sarah grabbed both cones, handing one to me as we sat down at a little table in the parlour.

"So what are we doing today?" Sarah asked me.

I thought for a moment, "We'll start at Gringotts Bank to get some of your Muggle money converted into Galleons, Sickles and Knut's. I'm not quite sure of the exchange rate but I believe it's around 5£ to a Galleon,"

"Well, if you're Ice Cream Parlours are strange, I don't even want to know about your banks…" she joked.

I smiled inwardly, knowing exactly how strange our banks were, it was just now an internal debate on whether I tell her or wait for her to see for herself. I decided I'd let it hit her when it did, no point trying to soften this experience. It may be wonderful and new and magical, but I could see that she was uncomfortable which is only to be expected since I knew my sister didn't cope well with change.

All in all, she was doing an alright job coping. Maybe it was the thought that she has to be there for her son, maybe she just wanted to be here for me like our parents never were.

I didn't care; it was just nice to finally have a sister.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me it was run by _Goblins_! I almost had a _heart attack_!" Sarah hissed under her breathe, trying her best to looked vexed but a smile began to pull at her lips and eventually she was laughing along with me as we descended down the steps of the bank, headed away from Gringotts and back into the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley.

"So where to now?" she asked me, eyes sparkling with excitement.

I grinned at Sarah, "We get your owl, the reason we came here in the first place,"

She nodded and followed me through the crowd until we stood outside _Eeylops Owl Emporium. _Owls in cages screeched at us as we walked inside the shop.

"Welcome, anything I could help you two young ladies with today?" said a woman with hair like a birds nest, clapping her hands together.

I nudged Sarah forward a little, "Uh, yes… I'm looking for an owl so I can mail my sister…"

"Well then come this way, Miss," the shop assistant beckoned and I watched my sister be lead away.

Browsing through the racks of owl food and such, I heard somebody call my name. I turned around to see Ted Tonks and Hamish Thomas walking towards me.

"Hey guys," I greeted them with a grin.

Hamish smiled and said, "Hey, my brother's throwing a party. He said I could invite some friends, would you like to go?"

"Um… sure, why not," I shrugged seeing no harm in it.

"Cool, I'll tell you the details when we get back to school," he grinned, "See ya' later, Riley,"

I waved as they walked away, "Who're they?" Sarah asked.

"A few friends from school," I shrugged, "That was quick. I see you found yourself an owl," I gestured to the small puffy-feathered bird perched in the brass cage she held.

"Yeah, I named her Dotty," Sarah chuckled.

"You ready to get outa here?" I asked.

She nodded and we left the store, winding our way back towards to entrance of Diagon Alley via the Leakey Cauldron.

* * *

The sun was setting when we pulled up outside her apartment building. She parked the car on the curb and took a big breathe.

"It's okay, you can do this," I reassured her, "I'll be here if you need me,"

Sarah nodded to me and we climbed out of the car. Entering the building we started climbing the stairs as she only lived on the Second Floor.

Pushing her key into the lock, Sarah opened the door. I followed her inside.

"Hey Honey," Daniel smiled, Elric cradled in his arms.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and he handed her Elric, "Dan, this is Riley, my littlest sister,"

"Hey," I smiled awkwardly, holding out my hand to shake, he grasped it firmly and we shook.

"Hello, you go to a Scottish Boarding School, right," he questioned.

I nodded, "Yeah, Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. I hope my little nephew attends someday too,"

He laughed, "Haha yeah, we could dress him in a cloak with a wand and everything,"

"Well he has to have a cloak and wand. They're school requirements," I deadpanned.

"Ah, okay," Daniel sent me a strange look, then turned to his fiancé, "What have you got there?" he pointed to the cage.

Sarah picked it up and opened the little door, she lifted Dotty out and placed it on her shoulder, "This is Dotty, I bought her today so I can send letters to Riley while she'd at school,"

"It's… It's an _owl_, is this some sort of joke?" he question, growing red in the face.

"We're not joking. I am a witch and your son, he is a wizard," I spoke in a serious tone.

Daniel gave me a bemused look, "Sarah, you said she was a little strange… but…"

"Honey, she's telling the truth… Elric, our son, will grow up to be a wizard," she said in a soft soothing voice.

"And not just any wizard," I added, "But a metamorphmagus, a shape shifter,"

"That's not _possible_!" he barked, growing red in the face with anger, "Stop it. Stop it_now_!"

Soon I began to lose my cool, "No, _you_ stop denying it!"

"Don't raise you voice, either of you. Daniel, please, let us explain–" she reached for his arm but he pulled away.

My soon to be Brother-In-Law let out a snort of disgust, "This isn't a funny joke. Stop acting weird, it's just plain stupid,"

In anger, I morphed to look like Daniel and he froze, staring at me.

"You see? We're telling the truth," I stated calmly, morphing back to my original state.

"Wha-at…"

For a few seconds everything was dead quiet before Daniel broke the silence.

"_Freak_!"

Sarah jumped to my defence, shoving him, "Do _not_ insult my sister, she is a witch and your son is exactly the same!"

There was a sharp _crack_.

He hit her. He hit Sarah, slapped her right across the face. I saw the burning rage in his eyes turn to pure shock.

I pulled out my wand, the Cruciatus Curse on my lips… but she stopped me.

"Get out," Sarah growled, hand on her red cheek.

"I-I'm so s-sorry…" he began begging, he tried to reach out to her but she recalled from him in disgust,

"I said _get out_!" my sister screamed at him, "_Right now_!"

He stumbled out the door and slammed it behind him.

"Sarah…" I began, taking Elric from her arms as she collapsed in a heap of sobs on the floor.

I didn't know what to do, so I laid him down in his cot and kissed him on the forehead.

When I returned, she was a mess, eyes red and puffy with tears stains running down her cheeks.

So I sat with her, and I held her and I let her tears fall until there were none left.

But even then, I didn't let go.

* * *

**I know you probably hate me a lot right now… sorry about that.**

**Please review!**


	37. Chapter 37: Into the Grey Room

**I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY FOR THE HAITUS I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY!**

**Thanks to all who've reviewed last time!**

**Also, I need help with the quote so if you know any please tell me!**

* * *

_"You never knew what I could find,_

_What would come when we realize,_

_I don't want to compromise,_

_Yeah I'm scared but I disappear,_

_Running around before it corners you,_

_I can't go because my life's a wreck,"_

_– Foster the People 'Houdini'_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Seven: _

Sarah was the one to drop me off at the station, for the last few days I stayed with her in her apartment. I looked after Elric when she had to work and found the right spell to change the locks on her doors.

Even now, when I was stepping off the train with Remus, my thoughts were still on her.

"C'mon, we'd better go," Remus tugged my sleeve and I followed him towards the carriages. I could feel the melting snow beneath me as I took care where I placed my feet. It was at that stage where it was no longer pure beautiful white, nor completely mixed in with the mud. It lay over the ice as a grey slush, a dangerous grey slush that caused more than enough sprained wrists and scrapped knees.

We approached, as usual, the last carriage. Nobody ever wanted it, people fought to get the early ones… it was always quite a rickety ride on the last carriage. I'd never tell anybody that I came late every time on purpose. I remember in my second year the confusion I'd come across, seeing the thestrals for the first time…. wondering why the others didn't see them too.

I found them to be quite beautiful creatures; elegantly sinister yet somehow oddly peaceful.

But truly, the reason I chose the very last carriage, was because of Imber. He was always the guider of the last one, and it was his fault the ride was always rickety. I'd always had a strange attachment to this particular thestral who he broke his leg when he was small and it never really healed properly. The injury resulted in an odd limp, to match his odd personality. Imber liked to stay away from the other thestrals; he was slightly quirked in his ways with a particular way of doing things. He liked doing everything his way and nobody else's. Like how he won't eat raw meat, it has to be cooked (something I find myself doing quite often). He also gets quite annoyed with Marvin while most other thestrals try to eat the small ferret that hides in my hoodie.

I approached Imber and stroked his silky black mane, holding out my last few pieces of beef jerky for him. He quickly licked them up and off my hands and I laughed, stroking his nose again, "Good boy, Imber,"

"How many times do I 'av ta' tell ya', Riley. Don't feed thestrals cooked meat," Hagrid scolded me as he came sauntering towards us.

I smiled, "But Imber _likes_ it, he won't even eat raw meat,"

The giant man laughed, "Yea' an' I wonda' whose fault that mighta' been, huh?"

"Ugh fine… I'll stop doing it," I sighed and turned to climb into the carriage, a mischievous grin sneaking its way onto my face courteous of the blatant lie.

Sitting down on the bench besides Remus, I tried to ignore the side long looks a few Third Years were giving each other on the other side of us. They obviously couldn't see the thestrals and I tried not to glare as they exchanged whispers and smirks.

"Ignore them," Remus whispered in my ear and I realised I was fisting my scarf. Slowly I unclasped my fingers and rubbed my white knuckles away.

It wasn't my fault they don't understand. It wasn't my fault I watched my Oma die. I didn't even know she had died. I had been reading her a children's book and she just… fell asleep. Or so I thought. My Oma suffered severe alzheimer's and it got to the point where she would drag her childhood teddy along with her and wouldn't sleep unless somebody read her _Grimm's Fairy Tales_ like her father did when she was little.

I remember once I asked Remus if he could see them, and he told me no. He said he was glad he couldn't see them, because then he knew that he had not killed anybody. A valid argument in my eyes. Sometimes after full moons he comes out to visit Imber with me, just to reassure himself that his hands are still clean.

As the carriage pulled up outside of Hogwarts. I missed its cold stone and hallowed halls, that distinct echo that rang down the halls as I walked. I missed the roaring fire in the common room and the even the paintings murmured speech, however The Fat Lady's singing brought on a whole different level of painful ear damage.

I climbed out of the carriage and with a thud my feet hit the ground.

"Bloody hell I missed this place," I sighed happily to myself, stuffing my fits down into my hoodie as Remus and I advanced the steps of our school. As we entered, a blast of warm air hit us and my breath no longer created little clouds (which I found to be slightly disappointing).

The two of us had taken approximately three steps before somebody jumped on me. I expected maybe James, or Sirius (that was until I remembered we were fighting and I hated him) and was quite shocked to find my red-headed rival and roommate Lily Evens looking quite puffed and red in the cheeks.

Without words she clasped my skinny wrist in her iron grip and tugged me away from Remus. The both of us were too shocked to do anything about it as I looked at her, jaw agape trying to form coherent words but none seemed to come.

"Follow," she commanded and let go, continuing to run.

And so I followed, running behind her through the empty corridors of Hogwarts until Lily final came to a screeching halt. It took me a few seconds to see where we were, but by then a little wooden door had begun to materialise, "I don't know what you're playing at…" I spoke with a mix of confusion and suspicion in my tone of voice.

"We need to act fast, just hurry, okay?" she snapped and handed me a cloak I knew very well.

I held the thin invisible material in my hand, "Okay, where the fuck did you get this? What the hell is going on, Evens,"

She just ignored me and threw it over us. I gave up asking, deciding I'd eventually find out and silently followed along behind her into the Room of Requirement.

The inside was not like I'd ever seen it; room was made of great grey stone, with a roaring fireplace settled on the far wall. The rest of the space was filled by a large round table in the centre of the room covered in what looked to be important documents and several books shelves. The rest of the wall space was filled with different sized and shaped mirrors, plus many maps of different locations around Europe and the United Kingdom, including both of Wizard and Muggle areas.

But Lily ignored all of this and b-lined straight towards the second largest mirror, slipping her hand out of the cloak she felt along the side of its frame until finding what must have been a sort of small latch. There was a small click and the mirror swang open slightly.

By now, I was entirely bewildered beyond any kind of comprehendible understanding as I followed her inside. I threw the Invisibility Cloak of myself to get a better look at my surroundings. This room was considerably small that the other and lit by a single candle; it consisted of a small wooden table and three chairs, a book self, stack of buckets, cupboard and stove. All looking quite worn beyond their years. The walls, much like in the grey room, were full of charts and many more newspaper clippings.

In anger brought on by pure frustration, I began to interrogate Evans, "Okay, I have a number of question and I expect and equal number of truthful answers. Firstly, how exactly did you come across James's cloak? Secondly, why are we in the Room of Requirement? And as an addition to that question, how _the fuck_ to you even _know_ about the Room of Requirement–"

"Because I told her," A familiar voice said, and I swirled around to see James entering from another door holding the Marauders map.

I looked at him, them back to Lily and back to Prongs again, "Sit. Explain. _Now_."

They followed my commands and sat down at the little round table, Lily casting a spell to brew us some tea on the stove.

James spoke first, "You see, Vix, we've become quite productive over the break–"

"–Oh yes, I can see that, I seem to recall asking you to 'lay low' while I was gone? –"

He gave me a sheepish smile, running his hands through his messy black locks, "I guess… I got a little restless, then. I doubt you'd be able to drop this for a week if I asked,"

"First explain _her_," I demanded.

Lily rolled her eyes, "I wanted to know what you and James were up to, so I… uh… riffled through some of his things and the found newspaper clippings, which I stole and read through. Wanting to know more, I confronted him and now I'm part of the team no matter what you're about to say,"

I scowled, "This isn't a 'team' we're not a bumbling band of renegade student. We don't need your help. We want to fight Voldemort. You're just a nosy sneak-thief,"

"I am not! Believe it or not, but you need all the help you can get. Now I know that you're not particularly fond of me, and I really ain't that fond of you, but as you quite well know this is a good cause and maybe, for now at least, we could just put out differences aside…"

I grunted, "Fine. Whatever. Welcome to the 'team', Lily,"

"I'm already on it, but your welcome is still obliged," she smiled smugly and I strained against a growl.

James noticed the obvious tension between us and spoke hastily, "You're probably wondering why we're in the Room of Requirement?"

"I assume it's some sort of hidden headquarters,"

He grinned, a mischievous glint in her is, "Aye, that's half true. This is actually a secret headquarters _inside_ the secret headquarters, look at the mirror closer,"

The small musty room was dark, as I squinted at the back of the mirror. I soon realised the more I looked that I was actually not seeing my reflection, but also what was on the other side of the mirror – the grey room.

"What the hell," I deadpanned, and looked to Prongs for an immediate explanation.

"See these two doors on each side of the room, through them there is a passage that runs all the way around the Grey Room, which is also the Headquarters for the Order for the Phoenix," James smiled smugly and I nodded in understanding.

Lily continued, "So we can see and hear through each mirror stationed in the Grey Room via the tunnels, essentially. We know every move the Order makes as they make it, plus all new information of Voldemort direct from Aurors, teachers, the others and Dumbledore himself,"

"Well… that's… _genius_," I marvelled at their work. They _had_ been busy over the break.

"Order meetings start every Sunday at eleven-fifty-nine precisely,"

"So tonight?" I interrupted.

She nodded, "We have to get here before them if we want to watch. Now we've only witnessed one meeting and it didn't have that much information than we already knew. They did mention emergency meeting procedures though, so there's a Muggle tape recorder in this room at all times in case we cannot get here before them," Lily informed me as she poured us cups of tea.

James kept speaking, "We think that there should be two of us here each Sunday, so we work in shifts. Also any information should be kept here in the Dark Room; it didn't take much for Lily to find my stash of info in my matrass,"

"Agreed. Also, no telling anybody about this at all unless we all vote towards it, yeah?" I added and they nodded along.

Suddenly, we heard voices approach and the doors into the grey room opened, revealing roughly the same people who were in the last meeting I spied on.

"Don't worry, they can't hear us. This room is charmed," Lily reassured me.

James turned to us, "Lily and I will cover the other mirrors, you stay here, okay?"

I nodded and the two left from separate doors into the passages, leaving me alone to watch Dumbledore call the meeting to order through the double sided mirror.

Slowly I pulled a notepad out of my back pack, "Might as well take noted, right?" I whispered to myself with a grin.

* * *

**Just to note for those who don't know **_**Oma**_** is the equivalent to Grandma in German. And just to clear anything up, this is her father's mother who was born in Germany, while her Bonechild bloodline is of Irish heritage.**


	38. Chapter 38: Dull Dead Eyes

**PLEASE I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. GOD I HOPE THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE OUT THERE WIOTH HOPE FOR THIS FANFICTION BECAUSE IT WILL BE FINISHED NO MATTER WHAT.**

* * *

"_I'm hangin' on another day,_

_Just to see what you throw my way,_

_And I'm hanging on to the words you say,"_

– _Lifehouse 'Broken'_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Eight: _

It was a strange feeling, getting along with Lily while I hadn't spoken to Sirius in almost a month now. I felt like everything in my life had become so distorted from what it used to be a month or so ago.

Because I wasn't even angry anymore. There was just _nothing_ there anymore. Only air between us. He'd let me go.

But still, I felt like there were stones in my heart, weighing me down. Making sure I need to push a little harder every day. I was trying. Trying _so hard_ to let him go but there were still little twangs of regret and pain that sat in my gut. Made me feel slightly nauseous and off balance at the mention of his name.

My internal monologue was interrupted by James, "Are you going to Hamish's bro's party?"

"Uh, yeah actually. Why?" I asked.

"I'm thinking of asking Lily if she wants to go with me…" he started and I rolled my eyes.

I sighed with a frown, "Don't bother. I heard she's going with Good Old Snivellus and a few others,"

He stared at me wide-eyed, "What?! How the hell did he get invited?!"

Shrugging, I replied, "Beats me. He could just be crashing,"

"Oh yes, that's definitely in his repertoire. Snivellus is a Class A _bad boy_," James mocked, his speech dripping with sarcasm.

"Still has a date, unlike _you_," I pointed out.

He laughed, "Nah, I'm going stag,"

I sighed at the horrid joke and spoke dryly, "Right. You have fun attempting to pick up red-heads then. I hope you get lucky."

His smile faltered slightly, "None could ever compare to her though,"

"It's just… everything's so different. Remember his last party? All us Marauders went together, but Sirius is going with Adriana and Remus is still in hospital from the other day and you're staging-it… so I don't even know if I'll go… I might as well just finish my homework up in my dorm," I explained rather dully.

He looked at me for a while before pocking me in the cheek.

I scowled, "What was that for, dick,"

"Sorry, I just had to check that you were _Riley O'Conner_ and not some_ emotional teenaged girl_. Seriously, what's got into you?" Prongs asked in a staid tone.

I shrugged. I'm probably both at the moment… however that works.

"I know you're upset and all, but you can't let life pass you by. I mean – look at me!" he smiled smugly.

I stared at him for a few seconds numbly, "What about you?"

James laughed bitterly, "You're only a few months in, Vix, while I have been chasing the same gild for years. I've learnt to deal with rejection,"

And in that moment, I was kicking myself. How dare I act like such a fool when James here has far worse of a lot to deal with daily.

He seemed nonchalant though and slung his arm around my shoulder, grinning with a mischievous glint in his brown eyes, "Alright, here's the plan, we stag-it together. I be your wingman, you be my wingwoman. What you say?"

A small smile crept onto my lips, "You drive a hard bargain, Potter,"

* * *

Remus threw the cards down on the bed in a frustration and rage, "This is totally rigged!"

I snickered, "Nope. Just Muggle,"

"I hate Muggle card games… they're illogical," Moony folded his arms across his chest as I continued to bawl in laughter.

"'_Bullshit'_ is legendary, just because you can't guess right," I shook my head in amusement, "I wish you could come to the party, it would be much more fun…"

Remus sighed, "Yeah, the moon is quite the troll," I nodded in full agreement, collecting up the cards for shuffling, "So who're you going with to the party?" he asked seeming nonchalant, but I could see he actually wanted to seriously know.

"James and I are 'stag-ing it' together… however that works," I told him truthfully, and I witnessed him visibly relax. I'd hoped by now he was over me, maybe he'd have moved onto a new girl, a slightly more stable girl. But on another level I understood him… I mean, look at me? I've been pining helplessly over the same old dog for months on end. At least Remus's crush is more realistic; at least I'm not taken, unlike Sirius.

"Well, I hope you have fun. Keep James on his feet, we don't need him completely wasted in the morning," Remus laughed, then winced from a pang of pain.

The bell rang soon after and I found myself bidding Remus goodbye, headed to my next class; Potions.

* * *

The two of us kept out table neat and tidy, cleaning up as we worked and keeping chatter to a minimum. We followed the instructions to the letter without any of the adjustment that the pair of us used to make. We took no risks, challenged no procedures, and edited no ingredients.

The lesson was utterly boring and insufferably tense.

"Pass the wormwood bark," he spoke without even looking at me.

It didn't take me long to find it sitting in order with the other unused ingredients, "Here,"

He took it without thanks and I felt the urge to clap him over the head.

The lesson basically went like this, me taking notes and organising the ingredients while Sirius created the potion (as was his specialty) until we finished, a good ten minutes before the ringing of the last bell of the day.

"Well, this is near perfect, a little thick, but equally effective," Professor Slughorn exclaimed. I smiled, but I could see the comment on its imperfection has irritated Sirius, "Since there isn't much use in keeping you here, feel free to leave a little early.

The two of us gathered our books and headed out the door, only to find an even greater uncomfortable silence finding the both of us as we walked side by side towards the Gryffindor Common Room through the stark empty corridors of the school.

For a few minutes I managed to bite down my tongue before I spoke, "I'm sorry,"

"For what? Kissing me? I don't care," he asked with dead eyes. Dead dull grey eyes.

I felt slightly taken aback by his bluntness, having always been the more charismatic of the two of us, "I just thought, since you've been avoiding me…"

He sighed, "I haven't been avoiding you… I've just been busy,"

I stopped walking, freezing there on the spot. He turned to face me, "What's your problem?" he asked without much emotion.

"What's my problem? What in hell has got into you?" I stared at him in bewilderment.

"I'm fine," he grunted.

Rolling my eyes, I continues, "Others may buy that, but I don't. You may have forgotten, but I used to know you better than any other! So what the fuck is wrong because I see now life in your eyes anymore!" I felt anger welling up inside the pits of my stomach.

"Can we do this another time? I'm tired okay," he tried pushing past me, but I blocked his way.

"Ha. Funny. How 'bout _no_," I said bitterly.

Sirius glared at me, "You wana know? Really, Riley? Well, sorry if I disappoint you, but this actually has nothing to do with you. I don't even know why _the fuck_ I'm telling you, but since you _so very kindly asked_ it just so happens my Uncle Alphard is extremely sick, plus the fact he has no money to get the cure and my family won't fucking help him and lastly, even though you probably especially don't give a fuck about this last one, Ariana is still grieving over the death of her best friend! Now I don't know if you remember what that's like, but when you lose your best friend _IT FUCKING HURTS_!" then he stormed past me, shoving my shoulder and clutching his books to his chest as if he was trying to contain anger.

"Yeah, well you're the one who went cold on me!" I screamed after him, feeling the first few tears run down my cheek.

I heard the bell ring and ran into the closest bathroom to get away from the crowd. I didn't want anybody to see me this way.

"Yeah well fuck you too," I mumbled in-between sobs.

* * *

**I should probably stop making her cry.**

**I should probably stop making it Sirius fault.**

**But whatever, I can do what I want. Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I'm just so stressed (fuckin' VCE I curse you).**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

_**Please…**_


	39. Chapter 39: The Effect of Firewhisky

**Oh and hello to Hannah Ebert even though I've never met you, Trav informed me you read Exceptionally Ordinary so yeah… **_**thanks! **_

**ALSO PEOPLE IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR EPIC FANFICTIONS READ 'HAVOC' BY **_**TECH SAVAGE**_**. IT'S HARRY POTTER NEXT-GEN AND IT'S AWESOME.**

* * *

"_You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex,_

_A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting,_

_And I am finally seeing,_

_Why I was the one worth leaving,"_

–_The Postal Service "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"_

* * *

_Chapter Thirty-Nine: _

"Oh! So the tricky girl with the tough demeanour can shed tears like the rest of us?" I heard a nasal voice cackle bitterly behind me.

I groaned internally at my horrid luck to pick this bathroom of all bathrooms, whirling around to find Moaning Myrtle hovering behind me, "What do you want?" I snapped, trying to shield me face.

She laughed at me, "Oh, that's no use. We can all see you've been sobbing, the question is what's got the strong Riley O'Conner into such a fix?"

"That's none of your business, Myrtle," I growled, "How about you just go back to moaning in your cubical,"

"So rude you are to the only person who's trying to comfort you!" She said tetchily, folding translucent arms across her chest.

"Comfort me?_ Comfort me_?! This is what you call comfort? Disrupting my selfish wallowing?" I hissed at her, not realising that my tears had all dried up and my sadness had been converted into annoyance.

She rolled her eyes and murmured under her breath, "It might be easier is you weren't so irritable,"

I grinded my teeth, "Ugh, I'm fighting with a ghost, how pathetic!"

"Not as pathetic as those tear stains, dearie. Although by the looks of your unrequired bow, I see why. He's a looker, he is," Myrtle wiggled her eyebrows.

I chuckled slightly, "Okay, that's enough, just let go back to being an angsty teenager,"

The swap green-tinged girl arched an eyebrow, "Are you still sad, though?"

I had to think for a moment, "… No actually… I feel much better… thank you,"

The ghost shrugged, "I get girls and boys running in here crying more than you'd think, I'm used to it. Last one was some Hufflepuff names Adriana or Arianna or something,"

A pang of guilt hit my heart at the mention of her name, but I tried to ignore it.

"So you what? Help people? Give therapy?" I questioned curiously and she nodded, "But why?"

"Because I'm dead, and I died crying in this bathroom and I don't want that to happen to anybody else… Plus I viciously live through you all," Myrtle smiled ever so slightly; a real smile.

I gave her indifferent look, "You live through sad people?"

"I'm dead, Riley. And sad people remind me what I once was," she shrugged at me, "Have fun at the party," she said with a forced smile and drifted of back through the door to her toilet.

For a moment I thought about how she knew, but then disregarded the thought as I checked myself in the mirror to double check it didn't appear as if I'd been crying. Then with a slight nod to myself, I headed back towards Gryffindor Tower.

Because I'm going to a party tonight and I'll be damned if I allow Sirius bloody Black to ruin it for me.

* * *

I'd never considered myself a vain person; I didn't spend forever every morning morphing myself or applying various cosmetics. Most days I just let my features slip and slide depending on my moods (which some find to be quite uncomforting) but today, I grinned at myself, proud I'd been able to achieve a certain shade of turquoise that usually seemed to elude me.

There was a common misconception that people believed I had to concentrate to keep my form, but really, after the initial morphing it takes about the same amount of concentration as walking or breathing does. It's completely natural to me.

Wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a flannelette shirt, burgundy bow-tie, fingerless gloves and my signature vintage strawberry converse; I walked down the stairs to find James waiting with a grin on his face.

"Sup, Vixen," he greeted me and threw the invisibility cloak over my head.

Being caught in the corridors so late would warrant a good few detentions and while most other kids had to find more complicated and creative ways of getting to the Room of Requirement, we simply walked there, passing any teachers that happened to be monitoring the corridors. Hidden in plain sight.

We approached the Room of Requirement, quickly slipping off the cloak. Standing where the door should be we waited for it to materialise. Hamish Thomas has said that it'd show itself if you were invited, but still I held my breath for the few seconds before I saw a simple looking wooden door carve itself out of the stone.

With a gigantic grin, we pushed through and into the room.

What I first noticed was that there was a curious mash-up between Rabid Thestrals and The Twig Witches playing. Sixth and sevenths years crowded the room, as James and I pushed through the crowd towards Alice and Andi, who were waving us down.

"Ugh you didn't even wear a dress," were the first words that came out of Andi mouth, "I swear to god, Riley, if that's a bow-tie…" she drunkenly pointed to my neck.

"It's a bowtie," I stated bluntly, smirking.

She threw her hands up in the air, spilling fire whiskey and loudly proclaimed, "Fuck this, I'm going to go find my Teddy Bear," and then proceeded to saunter off.

The three of us laughed, "So did you guys just get here?" Alice asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. Seems like everything's already in full swing though."

"It's nearly midnight what'd you expect!" Alice laughed, sounding slightly tipsy.

Together James, Alice and I walked towards the benches off to the side of the floor and sat down.

"So where's Fred?" James asked.

"S'not here. He was going to come but he felt kinda ill so he ended up going to the infirmary. Too bad, would've been better with him here," Alice explained.

'_Well, at least somebody's with Remus tonight'_ I thought, feeling the knot in my stomach loosen slightly.

We sat there talking for a while before Alice jumped up, having finished her drink and going for another.

"You guys want anything?" she asked both James and I.

"What do you think?" James laughed and nodded, but I shook my head.

Alice tried and failed to mask her surprise, "Um, really?"

"Yeah, I'm not drinking tonight," I said through slightly clenched teeth. Alice shrugged and walked away.

James turned to me, a serious look on his face, "Dude, lighten up 'kay and stop scanning the crowd for Sirius. Yes, he is here, but don't depress yourself. Loosen up and have fun for Merlin's sake,"

I sighed with a shrug, "I'll give it a shot,"

Rolling his eyes Prongs jumped up and grab bed my wrist, "Oi!" I exclaimed as he dragged me to my feet.

"C'mon, we're dancing," he grinned mischievously and I allowed myself to be dragged to the dance floor.

Dancing had never really been my thing; I was all scrawny and gangly with lanky limbs that sorta awkwardly swayed out of time to the beat whenever I attempted movement. Still when you're surrounded by people, sweat dripping down your forehead with music coursing through the air and a bass rattling your bones… the inhibitions you hold so close just seem to disappear.

Well, until somebody accidentally spills firewhisky over you. It was like severing a thread in my mind; suddenly I remembered who I was and that knot resurfaced in my stomach and the energy dispersed and my smile faltered. The guy drunkenly tried apologising but I pushed my way off the floor, James trying to follow me but getting lost in a sea of hyped-up students.

Eventually I found the bathroom, pushing the door open to be greeted with the sight of a couple pressed against the wall, tongues down each other's throats.

I cleared my throat awkwardly and they broke apart, flushing red with swollen lips – quickly scampering out and back into the party.

As I assessed the damage and tried to recall a quick cleaning spell from my scattered memory, the door swung open again.

I half assumed it to be another drunken couple but instead it was Lily.

"Oh, hey Riley," she smiled.

"Sup," I greeted her bluntly.

She eyed my shirt, "You spill your drink?"

I shook my head, "Nah, not drinking tonight; it was some other asshole," I tried not to let the surprise in her eyes get to me as she continued, "You need help? Try the Tergeo spell,"

"Um, what's that again?" I asked feeling unsure.

Lily smiled and grabbed the hem of my shirt, "Here… _Tergeo_," she spoke clearly, flicking her wand towards my stain and pulling it backwards. I watched as the firewhisky was pulled from my shirt and tapped into the sink.

"Thanks," I spoke genuinely.

"No problem. So who are you here with tonight?" she asked nonchalant.

"Me and James came as friends since we can't go with who we want to go with," I shrugged, it was common knowledge now, "You?"

She winced ever so slightly, "Oh, I came with Severus and a few of his friends,"

"So where are they?" I questioned. It was a sort of vindictive question as I knew exactly why she was alone, they say I saw it was that even though Lily and I held our differences, she still deserves better friends than those spineless Slytherin's she hangs about with. I don't even know why, all they do is copy her homework and whisper 'idiotic mudblood' behind her back.

"They don't really like me much… being muggle-born and everything," she stated awkwardly, looking down at her shoes.

I frowned, feeling momentarily sorry for her. A heavy awkward silence fell in the air, "You look like shit," Lily finally said with a blunt tone.

"Thank you, and here I thought my bowtie would be a snazzy eye-catching piece," my sarcasm was as dry as sandpaper.

She exhaled, shaking her head, "Will you never change?"

"Not likely. I find my genuine disinterest in the world genuinely inspirational," I replied bluntly, a small smile creeping at the corners of my mouth.

"You're impossible," sighing, Lily smiled slightly.

"That's the point," I muttered incoherently.

"Well see you later," She semi-waved, "You're welcome for the help,"

Then with a nod Lily Evens was gone, leaving me alone in the bathroom once again to mull over my thoughts.

* * *

I'd been sitting with James for a while and was growing genuinely irritated with his moon-sized puppy-dog eyes fixed on Evens across the room.

"Oh bloody hell! Go talk to her you idjit!" I snapped at him.

He turned to look at me in slight shock, "Wha-What you talkin' 'bout?"

I rolled my eyes at his supposed innocence, "I'm talkin' about Lily and you know it, Potter. You've been eyeing her all night and she's over there sitting alone. You might as well give it a shot,"

"But then what're you going to do?" he questioned, eyeing me cautiously.

I shrugged, "I'm probably going to head in and go to bed. It's already two in the morning. Plus our current conversation isn't exactly riveting…"

"You're funny," He frowned at me and I managed a forced smile, "Well if that's okay with you…" James trailed off, eyeing Lily again.

Chuckling softly I said, "Just go and score yourself a red-head,"

He grinned and threw me the invisibility cloak, "Take it and don't get caught,"

And with that he left, sauntering over to the girl he's been chasing for far too long. As for myself, I stood and made a B-line for the door.

Tonight had been almost a complete fail, it didn't matter how hard I tried or how happy everybody else was, my mood seemed to decrease the more time I spent attempting happiness. It just reminded me of a different party, the one where I got so pissed I couldn't even remember the fact that my best friend was going to ask out a girl. A different girl.

At first I was slightly taken aback by the cool quiet and bitter cold corridors after being cramped in that loud and noisy room for too long. Throwing the invisibility cloak around my shoulders to keep warm my eyes began adjusting to the darkness and I began making my way down the corridors. I was around half way back to the Common Room when flickering light and raised voices caught my attention. Scared that it may be a teacher lecturing some students that had been caught out, I flipped the hood over my head made myself entirely invisible and peeked around the corner.

I felt my stomach drop as I saw Sirius being held up against the wall by two Slytherin's while Severus pointed his wand at him. Sirius was writhing against them but his attempts were sloppy, given his heavily intoxicated state and wasn't able to fight free.

Without thinking, I flipped the cloak around to show the grey-green side and morphed, sauntering up to the group.

They immediately let Sirius go, letting him slide down the wall as they jumped back and dropped their wands.

"P-P-Professor McGonag-g-gal," Avery stuttered, eyes wide.

"What on Earth do you think you're doing?!" I spoke highly, trying to compose myself as the professor did, "This sort of behaviour is not permitted at Hogwarts. Fifty point each from Slytherin! Now get to bed while I escort Siri-Mr Black to the Infirmary. We'll be talking in the morning and your parents will definitely be hearing of this!"

And with that the three boys scuttled away, sweeping their wands off the floor.

I smiled to myself as they disappeared around the corner and morphed back, going to help Sirius.

"Are you alright?" I asked with worry in my voice.

"I'm all okey dokey… the snakes didn't get a spell in, although my tummy hurts…" he said poking his stomach as I helped him up off the floor, "Thanks so lots, _Vixxxxen_,"

I could smell the whisky on his breath and rolled my eyes. Sirius looked slightly dazed, staring at the high ceiling of the corridor dreamily, "I miss you sometimes, Little Fox…"

I looked down at him, slightly taken back with shock painted across my face, "What are you talking about? I'm right here, where I'll always be,

He shook his head, "No, no, no, I miss your freckles… I haven't seen your freckles in such a long time…"

"Excuse me?" I stared at him, mouth slightly open in confusion.

He brushed my electric-blue fringe out of my eyes, "You're hair… it's meant to be curly and copper… Riley's messy copper, copper curls!" his eyes slightly dazed as he grinned at me.

I stared at him curiously, "How much did you drink?"

"And your eyes… they're wrong. You have w-w-wrong eyes, Little Fox,"

I arched an eyebrow, "You're completely off you face, aren't you?"

He shook his head, "Nahhhh, I only had one drink… and another…" he looked confused, "And a bottle… alcohol is like… like fire-water… like your eyes, Little Fox. Fire! Amber fire!"

"My eyes are… fire?" It was more a question, than a statement, "They're green now, Padfoot, green's way better than brown,"

"Your real eyes, they're like fire! Beautiful, burning _amber_ fire!" he paused and seemed to doze off for a second before snapping back into focus, "Wear your real eyes, Little Fox…"

I looked at him now, as he beamed at me, "W-why?"

"They're beautiful… like… like… like Riley! Do you know my best friend Riley?" he asked cheerfully, "She's my Little Fox… did you know you're my Little Fox? 'Cause I found you, found you in a tree, remember? Being all sneaky-like, like a fox!"

I was speechless, so I mumbled stupidly the first thing that came to mind, "Huh… uh… what?"

"I wana see real Riley… I haven't seen real Riley in forever and…. a moth…" he started dozing off now, so I slapped him on the cheek and his head snapped up, "Just let me see Riley…"

I took a good proper look at him, beaming up at me as he leaned on my shoulder for stability. With a short sigh I began to morph into my usual self without any alterations. Copper curls fell on my shoulder and my usual dull brown eyes.

"Amber fire eyes…" he mustered and I began to walk him back towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

Padfoot continues muttering his nonsense ramblings all the way back. When we reached the Common Room it was entirely deserted. Helping him up the stairs proved trickier than I expected but we eventually made it to the dorm. The only one there was Wormtail, who was snoring loudly in his deep sleep.

I removed his shoes and assisted him into bed, "Thank you so much, Riley… you're still my _bestest _friend…" he muttered mid-yawn as I walked away, back down the stairs and into the Common Room wondering if he'd remember any of it tomorrow.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	40. Chapter 40: Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! GETTING SO VERY CLOSE TO 200!**

**I have a new favourite word; CONNIPTION, meaning 'a fit of rage or hysteria' (for the people who know me outside the internet, this will make a lot of sense).**

**Also, to Hannah Ebert, what's your PenName? I want to read your story (Dannie told me you wrote)… I won't tell her (seriously, I promise)…**

**AND YES THE CHAPTER IS NAMED AFTER A _LE MIS_ SONG BECAUSE _LE MIS_ IS FUCKING AMAZING.**

* * *

"_I'll bleed out for you,_

_So I bare my skin,_

_And I count my sins,_

_And I close my eyes,_

_And I take it in,_

_And I'm bleeding out,_

_I'm bleeding out for you,"_

–_Imagine Dragons "Bleeding Out"_

* * *

_Chapter Forty: _

I saw the Slytherin's across the room; Snape, Avery and Rosier cower as Professor McGonagall walked past them, unknowing of their utter fear. I decided I'd let them figure out that she had no idea on their own, of course they'd immediately tie it to me being a metamorphmagus, so I'll have to keep watch for revenge, but overall a few days of complete terror wouldn't hurt them… sadly.

Feeling half dead, I supressed the urge to fall flat into my breakfast; I'd forced myself awake today to catch the last round of breakfast at ten and I would suffer through it. There were very few fifth and sixth years sitting down, and if there were I could see them wincing every time cutlery hit the plate with a short _clang_.

Forking a heap of scrambled eggs into my mouth, I saw James enter the room looking like absolute shit as he wandered towards me.

"Fuck everything," he groaned, sitting down opposite me.

"Well, I guess I'll be taking the shift tomorrow night alone," I sighed, pushing mushrooms around my plate.

Prongs sent me a curious look, "What about, Lily?"

"Slug Club dinner," I explained and he nodded in understanding, "Don't worry, I can handle it alone. You need to get a strategy prepared for the next game against Ravenclaw; they may not be the best of flyers but they're key strategists,"

"Believe me, I know," he frowned in thought while piling his plate with eggs and bacon.

"So how was last night with Lily?" I asked with a full mouth of food.

He shrugged nonchalant, "Well we talked mostly, ended up leaving about half-an-hour after you. Then we talked for a while in the Common Room before heading to bed,"

Staring at him curiously, I looked for signs of a lie, "So that was it, nothing _else_?" I grinned, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

Laughing James shook his head, "It was mainly about the Order and such,"

I felt myself physically slump, "Seriously? You talked about work? Way to get in there, man,"

"Well, what was I meant to talk about then?" He questioned defensively.

I hit the table with my palm in a sudden conniption. I didn't think my anger had anything to do with them, but more the fact he has a chance and he _blew it_. What I'd give for a chance to sit and talk with Sirius.

"You ask how she is and talk about personal stuff. _Merlin_, James, you're stupid sometimes," I sighed, palming my forehead.

"Okay, okay. I get the point…" he said quickly, although I wasn't sure if it was just to pacify me.

Silence fell between us and I shovelled another load of mushroom into my mouth with a grimaced; I'd never particularly liked mushrooms.

* * *

"Moony! You're up and about I see," I exclaimed with a grin as I walked down the corridor towards the Common Room.

"Oh, hey Riley," Remus smiled, turning around to see me. I jogged ahead to walk with him.

"How're you feeling now?" I asked, examining his state. Still weak but any major wounds had been taken care of and amended. The last full moon hadn't been as bad as usual.

He smiled slightly, "Better, much better. Are you going to Hogsmead tomorrow?"

I shook my head and searched for a lie, "Too much homework. You?"

"Nurse Pomfrey said I had to stay within the castle if they were going to let me out of the Infirmary," he sighed, "I guess it's better than lying in bed all day,"

We reached the entrance and I whispered the password to the Fat Lady and she swung open the door. Entering the Common Room I could see it was very much the same as in the Great Hall; a great number of hungover students mixed with the slightly naïve younger years.

"What work have I missed?" he asked me, looking anxious.

"Not much, we have an Astronomy assignment but it's not until the week after next. I'll go get my notes for you to copy down,"

Remus nodded and walked towards his dorm to get his things. I walked up the stairs and down the corridor until I came to my dorm. Pushing open the door I found it empty, so quickly I unlocked my trunk and collected my books; Astronomy, Divination and Charms for homework and my pages of notes that I needed to sort through of different Order of the Phoenix meetings. With a slight nod to myself, I slammed my trunk to a close and left the room.

Finding Remus sitting in the marauders usual study table, I thumped my stack or work down on the table, "Here are the notes for the classes we share," I handed him the stack and he grimaced.

"Wish there was a copy spell," he sighed beginning with the Transfiguration notes.

I chucked and commented, "There probably is but the teachers purposely don't teach it to us,"

"Probably," he mustered and we fell into silence. I opened my Charms book up to the seventh chapter and began answering the set questions, breaking the quiet every once and a while to ask Moony a question.

It was around half an hour later that Remus stared curiously at one of the note pages, "Uh, Riley, what's this?" he asked, showing me the page.

At seeing the page I snatched it back, "Nothing. Forget it,"

It had contained a rough diagram of a secret room in Order's headquarters alongside a timetable for our shifts. I was kicking myself that I'd idiotically let it be mixed up in my homework.

"What's wrong? What was that map of? Is it somewhere in the castle," he questioned me with suspicion.

"It's none of your business, Lupin," I snapped, stacking by books, "If you're going to keep talking I'll do work in my dorm,"

Standing up I went to walk away, but I tripped on the table leg and everything fell everywhere.

"Well fuck," I said, quickly scattering to shove all paged to do with Voldemort and the Order in a folder.

Remus knelt down to help, staring at the pages with confusion, "Riley, what is this…"

"Just leave it," I growled and he backed off, sitting down into his seat with a frown on his face and sad confused eyes.

Once I'd collected everything I rushed away, straight out of the common room feeling his eyes burning into my back.

* * *

I felt my cold fingers along the side of the mirror until I felt the tiny latch. Feeling it with my finger tip I pulled downwards, and the entrance clicked open

Slowly I crept inside; it smelled musty like old books in the dark. Feeling my way around, I dumped my books on the modest wooden table and pulled out my wand whispering "_Incendio_," as I taped the end on the candle wick it burst alight. The singular candle made all the shadows elongate.

Walking towards the stove I cast, "_Aguamenti_," and watched as a stream of water filled the old kettle. Lighting the stove, I left the kettle there to boil, getting a tin cup and teabag ready on the singular counter.

Sitting down at the table with a huff, I began shifting through my mess of lose-leaf parchment making two separate piles; homework and Order work.

It was tedious, yes, but we couldn't afford any mishaps like earlier with Remus. I sighed, feeling like a complete and utter bitch for snapping at him like that. I had no right. He'd done nothing wrong. I was angry at my own foolishness and I'd taken it out on him irrationally.

Everything was so stressful though, trying to keep up with what was happening. So much death, so much destruction and yet nobody knew. I better knowing I was safe at Hogwarts, but I still feared for my family; what if they were next? It seemed like Voldemort was targeting people at random. It was open season on muggle-borns and their family.

The only breaks I took were to take small sips of tea.

The only judge of time I had was the candle that sat beside me, burning slow and steady. When I was done with my homework and cataloguing the newest information from the Order, the candle had halved itself.

Standing up to stretch for the first time in a long while, I felt my back crack. Dumping my tea cup on the counter, too lazy to wash up I blew out the candle, and switched to wand light, murmuring "_Lumos_," as I cradled my school book in one arm.

Leaving through the mirror, I walked towards the grand double doors and left the Room of requirement behind.

"What are you doing in there?" A familiar voice asked.

"Bathroom," I told Sirius bluntly.

"You know the girl's bathroom is only a corridor down, right?" he told me with a note of suspicion in his voice.

"I was busting," I lied meekly, "Anyway, I've got to go," I started walking away, down the corridor away from him. I didn't need to be stressing over him on top of everything I was currently dealing with.

"Please, just let me talk… please," Sirius's voice broke as he called after me.

I turned on the spot, "What?"

"I just wanted to say thank you… I've been trying to remember it… at first I thought professor McGonagall was the one who helped me, but then I realised it'd been you… so, yeah, thank you for the help," he smiled sadly at me.

"That's nice," I replied bluntly, beginning to walk away again. I _couldn't_ deal with this right now.

"I wasn't finished, _Little Fox_," he yelled, voice echoing down the hall.

I was quiet for a moment before softly asking, "How much do you exactly remember?"

He shrugged and smiled up at me, "Majority of it now, and although I was awfully drunk… I meant what I said,"

I laughed bitterly, folding my arms across my chest, "You're funny. Real funny. What about Arianna?"

His eyes turned sad and he looked to his shoes, "She… she broke up with me… right before the party last night,"

Opening my eyes in shock, I stared at him strangely, "What? _Why_?"

"It doesn't matter…" he closed his eyes.

I sneered in disgust, "So what's this? You get dumped and suddenly you show up at my door after months? I was shunned for months because I love you and now you're hearts been broken the way you broke mine and you want a rebound? Get fucked, Black!"

His eyes were wide, "Y-you _love_ me?" Sirius stuttered.

My voice was low as I growled, "Yeah, pathetic isn't it?"

Then I stormed away, feeling sick inside, because I loved and will continue to love, a complete and utter asshole.

* * *

"You sure you'll be okay on your own?" Lily asked me as she dressed for the Slug Club dinner.

I nodded, "If I miss something in my notes, we always have the tape,"

"And you've read over the notes James and I took last Sunday?" she clarified.

Laughing at her pernickety nature I answered, "Twice, this afternoon when I catalogued the recording of the emergency meeting on Tuesday,"

"Well then I believe you're sorted. Can you do my zip up?" she asked, turning around and holding her fiery ringlets up in a tangle. I clasped the zip and brought it u smoothly; she was wearing an indigo dress that came to her knees, black cardigan, dark opaque tights and ballet flats with a silver locket hanging around her neck.

She turned to me, "You know, it's strange how much I used to despise you and now we're… friends,"

"Yeah, it really is quite weird," I laughed, "Lose a friend, gain another; funny how the world works," I smiled softly, mind turning back to Sirius again.

Lily sighed, "Don't tell me you've given up on Sirius…"

"What do you mean?" I questioned oddly.

"Well, you two were just so close. You finished each other's sentences and everything! It'd just be a right shame to waste that," she smiled at me warmly, "But I've got to go, and so do you if you want to get in their first,"

Walking down into the Common Room, we went our separate ways with a small wave. Creeping up the stair case I entered the boy's dorm. All four boys were fast asleep, but when I went to get the Invisibility Cloak from the bottom of James's chest as I usually did, it wasn't there. I searched for a few minutes but to no avail. Giving up I went to get the Marauders Map from Sirius's bedside instead.

Usually I would have glared at the boy, but I could hear him moaning slightly, eyes squinted shut as he suffered through the bad dream. Sirius looked so small, so scared right then.

I mentally corrected myself and pulled my eyes away, snatching up the map from his bedside table and left.

Double checking the map before I turned any hallway that there weren't any teachers. It took a while and by the end I was truly hoping I'd get there before the Order did.

Just as the entrance was materialising, I heard a noise behind me. Near terrified it was a teacher or worse, an Order member. I whipped around whispering harshly, "Who's there?"

At first I saw nothing but there had to be–

Sighing in realisation, I lowered my wand slightly, "Take off the Invisibility Cloak whoever you are,"

And indeed, somebody did. Remus did, "What the hell are you doing?" he asked while walking toward me to examine the door.

"What am I doing? What are _you _doing, Moony?" I said in shock.

"I just knew you were up to something!" he smiled gleefully.

I face palmed, "This is no time to get sloothy, Sherlock. You have to leave. _Now_."

"Who's She–" he began to say, but I covered his mouth with my palm. I could hear mumbled voices and shadows from around the corner.

"C'mon," I whispered and pulled him through the door, running towards the mirror, franticly feeling up the side until I found the tiny latch. I pulled him inside the smaller room and locked the mirror back in place just as Dumbledore and the other teachers entered.

"That was so close," I sighed in relief, watching as other members appeared in a burst of green flames in the fireplace, "Want some tea?" I offered.

Remus simply stared at me.

* * *

**Sorry if this isn't up with my usual standard but I have an ear infection and was at the hospital last night so yeah, forgive me.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	41. Chapter 41: The Kids Without Sleep

**DKJGHRNTYBSKJEBRKVAJBSDNFBSJ DGBFLURHKTJSBDKJHGVBSGSB**_**KEYBOARD SMASH!**_

_**I CAN'T I CAN'T I HAVE LOST TO ABILITY TO CAN**_

_**I MEAN WE GOT TO 200+ REVIEWS GUYS THIS IS FUCKING AMAZMING!**_

**And yes, I realise that Riley's fuse is much shorter than it used to be, but if you remember far back, she has taken on some wolfish qualities due to the cursed scar, so there's the explanation as well as the fact she's just plain done with everything around about now.**

* * *

_"It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit,_

_I'm just the same as I was,_

_Now don't you understand,_

_That I'm never changing who I am..."_

___–_Imagine Dragons 'It's Time'

* * *

_Chapter Forty-One:_

The members dispersed among themselves; some disappearing into a burst of green flames and others exiting through the double doors back into the corridors of Hogwarts.

It was well past one in the morning – a far longer meeting than usual – and my hand was cramping from the rapid note-taking.

I explained most things as we went, but I could still see the confusion in his eyes, "So you're telling me you and James have been working on this since before Christmas?"

"Well, yeah, basically. We really only started sitting in on the meetings when I got back," I explained to him.

He gave me a strange expression that looked like some sort of cross between delight, surprise and irritation, "How come I'm only finding this all out know?"

"Because you followed me," I replied bluntly, mind too busy dealing with other more pressing matters than him at the current moment.

"You do realise that if we're found out, we will be expelled like that," he snapped his fingers.

I shrugged, "That's a risk I'm willing to take,"

"Well I don't think I can take that risk… it was hard enough for my parents to get me into school. There aren't many options for a werewolf, and I got a chance not many have… I just can't throw that away to chance," Moony tried to smile, but it faltered.

"I understand, Moony. It's okay," I clapped my hand on is shoulder and he grimaced.

"But what are you going to do about, you know, the most recent development," he spoke in a concerned tone.

I sighed looking down at my shoes, "I'll have to talk to James and Lily about it, but for now, I need to sleep,"

* * *

The next morning I was beyond exhausted, waking up just as tired as the night before. My eyes slowly crack open and are hit with the stinging morning light that peers through the window.

"You're going to be late for breakfast," Lily yawned, throwing a pillow at my head. I took it with a dull groan, too fatigued to argue.

Fighting the dominant urge to throw the dudette over my head again and sleep 'till noon, I slid out of bed, warm feet hitting the cold stone floor with a flinch.

Stretching my back and yawning loudly, I realised that Lily was in her uniform already standing by the door and all of the other girls were gone.

"Ah shit," I exclaimed, looking at my clock suddenly finding the energy to get up and off my ass.

"We tried to wake you. Three times," Lily sighed, shaking her head in distain.

I scowled as I ran wound the room, "Where's my fucking tie?"

"How am I supposed to know?" she laughed at my currently dishevelled state, "How late did you get in last night?" Lily asked me.

"Around one in the morning," I said slowly, but my voice was muffled as my head was buried deep within my trunk.

My words seemed to get her attention, "What? They never go that long…" she trailed off into deep thought with furrowed eyebrows and a concentrated expression.

"There have been… developments. Important developments," I said seriously, "That I'm not going to talk about here and now,"

Lily nodded in understanding as I pulled my singed tie out from the bottom of the trunk and without a word looped it around my neck.

Then as usual conduct follows; the two of us silently walked towards breakfast.

* * *

Terribly late with a half-eaten piece of toast hanging limp out of my mouth and papers flying in my wake, I rushed up the spiral staircase towards the Divination class room nestled high in the North Tower. Juggling my textbooks in one arm I managed to climb the ladder and burst through the trap door into the classroom as an array of head turned to look.

"Ah, see class, didn't I say Miss O'Conner would be right along?" beamed Professor Agatha Hickkle-Trasp in delight, "Come, come, have a seat, dear we've just began,"

I smiled slyly to myself – toast still hanging from my mouth – sometimes being the teacher's favourite sometimes really did have its perks. I took my seat with a grin, right across the table from Alice who was trying to mask her amusement and was failing rather wonderfully.

"Good thing old Hickkle loves you and that _one_ prediction you made," she whispered with a giggle and I grinned, remembering that day only a few years ago. Alice was wrong of course, I had made two successful predictions in my time, although the second I kept hidden deep within my mind. Remus wouldn't like that dream to be revealed.

We turned our attentions back towards the professor who was explaining the correct procedure to follow while performing Cartomancy.

"Now students, on the tables are a set of Tarot Cards each. I would like you to open your books to the eighty-seventh page and follow the set instructions; we are beginning with the simplest Tarot reading form – the six card analysis," she smiled and clapped her hands together as the class groaned.

Alice looked to me, "You wana read first?"

I nodded with a shrug and began to shuffle the deck as the instructions told me to, then spread them out in my hands, "Okay point to six cards," I ordered.

As she picked them I placed them in a line face down on the table until all six were there, "Okay, so it says the first is how you feel about yourself now, the second what you most want at this moment, third is your fears, fourth what is going for you, next what is going against you and finally the last your outcome. Ready?" I asked and she nodded, curiously looking downcast at the facedown cards.

With nimble fingers I flipped them all over, as the book said that I shouldn't take every card individually but read them as a whole unit as they were to represent an entire person.

Flicking through the book to fin d the explanation to the first card, I explained, "Well, your first card seems pretty decent; the _Wheel Of Fortune_ card basically means you feel lucky as something good has happened or come into your life,"

Taking a look at the next card and its example, I almost burst into laughter, "Uh, your next card is _The Devil_ tarot… apparently you want something a bit of passion and… umm… deep excitement… So how is Fred going?" I joked while Alice's face went entirely red.

The third card I was slightly more hesitant to search up, but alas I did find it, "The _Temperance _card depicts that you are afraid this period of harmony in your life is not going to last,"

I looked up at her with questioning eyes but she simply nodded, "Okay, keep going, Riley,"

Next I found the next card easily on the next page, "_The Tower_ is a tarot centred on change. It most likely means a sudden disruptive change is inevitable, and as painful as it may seem, you will either come through it a stronger and better person or not at all,"

The second last card was strange, contradicting the first, "_The Star_ card depicts that this is a period of tension and frustrations, you feel pessimistic and fearful that your hopes will be dashed,"

"Well that's weird," she commented, "What's my last card mean?"

"The outcome of your life is the _High Priestess_ tarot… she is the symbol of the subconscious and dreams. She boarders the day and the night… she is the prophecy of illusion and… _insanity_," I frowned at the page, "What a load of shit,"

Alice seemed to be lost in thought, "Hmmm I guess,"

I should've known better than to sit with Alice in Divination. She held uncountable belief in the art – much more so than myself, who was willing to believe its powers to a certain extent. Alice was clearly analysing the cards in her head, cross referencing every moment of her life to find where it's matches up.

"Interesting…" she mumbled to herself as she proceeded to take the deck away from me and begin to shuffle.

* * *

I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned against the bookshelf in our secret lair, ready to receive and answer any questions both James and Lily may have.

"Okay, so what are these new developments?" Lily asked me in a stern and serious tone.

James sat up a bit, eyes wide with curiosity, "There's been developments?"

I rolled my eyes, "There are always developments, Prongs, why do you think I called the emergency meeting?"

"I just thought it was a meeting. Didn't know about the emergency part," he laughed, but it trailed off as neither of us caught on. The seriousness of the situation too heavy for our usual light humour.

"So what is this big revelation?" Lily questioned, leaning forward in her seat with anticipation.

Well, I'd already made them wait a day, taking in a deep breath in, "They've got information that a small group of Death Eaters are hiding out in the basement of a bar in Knockturn Alley. Tomorrow night Kinsley and Arthur are going to stake it out and see what they can find out… what should we do?"

Three of us mused over the newest information silently, James was the first to break the quiet, "I say we follow them there and spy as we always do,"

"Hmm but we can't be caught, be it by either side," Lily pointed out, "We need to make sure we're safe before anything else, we're no use dead or expelled,"

I scowled at her words, "Screw safe. I know everything is suddenly becoming very real. It's easy to say we're making a difference safe within the walls of Hogwarts, gathering intel is one thing but acting upon it is entirely different. I don't know about you, but I want to make a fucking difference, that was the point of the whole thing!" I slammed my fist on the table, rattling the cups.

"Riley, we know, but we need a plan. We can't march into Knockturn Alley without a plan," Lily groaned in frustration.

James laughed.

"What the fuck, Prongs? This is serious! We need a way of not being caught and it doesn't seem as if you've had any bright ideas as of yet," Lily snapped. The sound of her swearing rang strange in my ears – it was a rarity indeed.

He shrugged leaning back on his chair unfazed – I guess he's been sworn at by her many times, "Invisibility cloak, duh,"

"It's not that simple, we need to be cautious or this whole thing is blown and we'll find ourselves out of the school faster than we can cast the killing curse!" Lily exclaimed, "Invisibility cloaks aren't that reliable,"

He sat up properly with a scowl, "This cloak has been in my family ever since I can remember, and it's never faltered,"

"That may be so, but we need a back-up," she frowned and the group sank back into thought filled silence before her eyes lightened up, "What about Polyjuice Potion for James and I?"

"We need the hair though, and it can't be someone at school," I said in thought, but the two of them continued to grin at me as if I didn't understand a blatant joke.

"No, but what about yours… if we were you, we could morph…" she grinned.

Shaking my head I explained, "I spent months working on how to shapeshift with accuracy; it's tomorrow night guys,"

James smiled smugly, "One, you were taught by a non-metamorphmagus. Two, you were eleven. Three, we only need to focus on one body,"

Biting my lip I answered, "We're going to need a lot on polyjuice potion for practise and for the actual thing,"

He continued to grin, "Oh don't worry about that – I have a plan,"

Lily moaned, sliding down in her chair, "This is going to be a long night,"

* * *

**I REALLY DID TRY TO REASURCH ABOUT TAROT CARD READING BUT I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND JACK SHIT OF IT SO I JUST KINDA MADE ALL THAT UP BASED ON WHAT I ALREADY KNOW YEAH SORRY.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I have multiple stories that are up and coming, so this is the list. Some may have the first one or two chapters up but mainly they're undevoped ideas. Please inform me via review which ideas are your favourites;**

**- **_**Infinitely Average**_** (Harry Potter) - The sequel to Exceptionally Ordinary and takes place in their 7th year. Sirius/OC.**

**- **_**Silver Lining **_**(Avatar: The Last Airbender) - A Kataang modern AU story set in Ba Sing Se. Canon pairings.**

**- **_**Little Heart Shaped Scars**_** (Harry Potter) - Focusing on Petunia Dursley and her childhood/how she deals with Harry arriving at her door.**

**- **_**Chained**_** (Harry Potter) - A slightly AU Remus/Tonks story set in the Exceptionally Ordinary (this means Riley will be in it) universe during Tonk's third year of Auror training.**

**- **_**Thorns of the Inconclusive**_** (Harry Potter) - Draco meets a strange girl in the Room of Requirement who cannot ever leave, a girl stuck between the living and the dead. Draco/OC.**


	42. Chapter 42: Shattered Silence

**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS THEY MAKE MY DAY.**

**AND I REALISED I HAVE TO WRITE **_**INFINITLY AVERAGE**_** BEFORE I WRITE **_**CHAINED**_** BECAUSE RILEY IS IN **_**CHAINED **_**AND I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL WHAT HAPPENDS TO HER.**

**And on another note… HANNAH EBERT TELL ME WHAT YOUR FANFICTION NAME IS SO I CAN READ YOUR STORIES C'MON MAN.**

**SORRY ABOUT THE ABSENCE OF SIRIUS IN THE LAST CHAPTER.**

**FUCK LOOK AT ALL THOSE LYRICS, BUT THEY'RE JUST SOOOOOO **_**RELEVANT**_**! IF YOU USUALLY SKIP IT PLEASE READ AND THINK OF THEM WHILE READING!**

* * *

"_And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand._

_Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love,_

_Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on._

_But I know, all I know is that the end's beginning._

_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart._

_Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent._

_All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain._

_All is lost hope remains, and this war's not over._

_There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones._

_To the place we belong, and this love will conquer all."_

–_Trading Yesterday 'Shattered'_

* * *

_Chapter Forty-Two: _

"I cannot believe you kept this from me, you bastard," I scolded James while staring wide-eyed at the magnificent stash of contraband potions hidden under the floorboards in the boys' dorm.

He rolled his eyes, "What use does Polyjuice have for a metamorphmagus?"

"Still, there are other potions here – what do you do with it all?" I asked him curiously.

"Well Padfoot and I stock it in case of need, and sometimes we sell if we're short of cash," James explained and I nodded in understanding. Lily just looked plain confused; I guess she wasn't exactly used to our way of money making yet.

"I am to be a part of this from now on, 'kay?" I gave him a stern look, kinda pissed off that I wasn't included in the first place.

Lily bit her lip, "How did you get all of this? You'd thrown out of school if a Prefect found this!"

James and I gave a silent look to each other before bursting into bouts of hysteric laughter, "So kick us out, Prefect," James winked.

Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, "I'm the worst Prefect in the world," she moaned in frustration, caught between two voices that rang in her head; the one who told her to report us and the one that was eager to reach her hand down and see what we had, "You're corrupting me!"

"Ha! She thinks this is bad," James snickered nudging me with his elbow, an all too familiar mischievous grin spread across his face.

I smirk and looked back to my adopted brother, "Have we even showed her the Marauders Map yet? Or the Gubraithian Fire Orb."

Lily's eyes went wide, "Where on Earth did you get that?!"

"Even I don't know – It's hers," James shrugged and pocked me.

I held my hand up, "Family heirloom. Long story. Let's get back to the Polyjuice Potion,"

Together we shoved all we could find into my rucksack and headed downstairs, "Won't Sirius notice it's gone?" Lily bit her lip with worry.

"Notice what's gone?" asked an irritatingly familiar voice, "What are you three doing?" Sirius stared at us with a puzzled look hinting on suspicious. He stood at the foot of the staircase and In couldn't help but feel a few remaining butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I squashed them immediately. There was no time for feeling at the current moment.

James was the one who spoke up, "I just took your Potions Essay to have a look at since I'm stuck with mine,"

Sirius lightened a bit, "Oh, that's okay, but why was Lily and… Riley… in our room? You weren't having some sort of weird orgy right?" he joked and Prongs laughed.

"Uh, no," Lily laughed awkwardly, "Plus it wouldn't have been an orgy anyway, since they only occur when there's over three people… participating."

The rest of us started at her in gobsmacked silence and I saw her cheeks redden slightly.

"I'm not even going to ask how you knew that," Sirius commented, and began to walk past us again.

As he pasted me, he looked down to the ground and basically anywhere that wasn't me. The butterflies returned and this time they were harder to squash.

Shaking my head, the three of us continued onwards. There are far more important things to be focused on right now.

Making sure the corridor was empty before we walked towards the Room of Requirement. This time instead of the usual double doors a familiar mirror appeared. With a smile we flipped the latch and stepped inside.

Taking out the multitude of random bottles and jars filled with a swamp-coloured sludge-like substance. I noticed each container had a different date written on it, "What's it mean?" I asked James.

"Well, you know how wine gets better with age? So does Polyjuice Potion. The older it is, the longer the effect will last on the drinker. Everything that's date is older than a month ago, put to the side because we don't really want to be Riley for more than twelve hours." James instructed and we began sorting.

"We'll practise with the real fresh stuff that only lasts for half an hour or so and keep the middle aged Polyjuice for tonight," he continued.

Then he turned to me with a grin, holding out a pair of scissors, "We're going to need a lot of hair,"

I decided my 'actual' hair would probably be the best bet. With little concentration I lengthened my bangs and swept the scissors across with a quick snip, catching the falling copper hair in my palm.

Lily went to the cupboard to find two shot glasses were we usually stored three mugs, stifling a laugh James pored some of the disgusting mixture into the glasses and I sprinkled my hair in, the potion turned an amber colour.

Lily regarded the concoction with distain, "Delightful,"

"Just be glad you don't know the ingredients used to make Polyjuice Potion," James grimaced, holding his glass up to Lily. The two clinked in a toast and then shot it down, pulling faces of absolute disgust.

A short laugh escaped me which was met by a scowl from both of them; it's times like this when I'm extremely thankful for being born with the ability to shapeshift.

I watched as their skin bubbled, both shrinking and thinning down to my impeccably scrawny size. Their clothes hung off my wiry limbs. It was odd seeing somebody apart from myself morphing, was this how everybody else felt? Like it was wrong and unnatural?

Quite possibly, but then again I was born to shapeshift while James and Lily used a crude potion.

"Holy shit I'm a _girl_!" James grinned at me with my own lopsided smile. It was unnerving to say the least.

And then without much of a hesitation, I reached out and slapped James across the face. His (my?) hair turned a bright flaming red.

"What the fuck, Vix?" he clutched his cheek, eyes wide with shock.

I smiled curtly, "First rule; don't let you emotions control your body. You gotta keep strong; don't let yourself turn green in envy or red with anger,"

"You're way to violent for you own good," Lily sighed, the kind where you've given up on trying to resist the fact that you've made friends with psychopaths.

I ignored her. There was a lot to cover with little time.

"Now, I want you to have a clear picture of somebody in your mind; somebody who nobody would expect but it wouldn't be weird finding them in Knocturn Alley," I instructed, "Once you have that picture in your mind, I want you to find a small part of them, it could be eye colour of jaw shape and see yourself with it. As if you've always had this feature,"

I watched the two, both with eyes squinted shut. They remained still for a very long time before I began to find a flicker, a wave, of black run through Lily's hair.

With a smile, I sat back, waiting.

* * *

"I'm famished," Lily groaned, "I think I understand why you eat so much now, Riley,"

I laughed, "Morphing takes its toll on your energy levels at the beginning, but after a while you get better at it until it takes virtually nothing. I'm really just a pig when I eat,"

The two of us sat waiting for the last remnants of me to creep out of James. He felt down his chest, "Phew, I'm me again – completely male me,"

"Okay, well dinner starts in a few minutes, so we'd better get going," Lily reminded us as we left the Room of Requirement, deciding it'd be safest if we left the Polyjuice Potion there.

"If we eat fast you two might be able to get some extra practise also," I added. They both looked repealed by the prospect of having to consume even more Polyjuice Potion before the actual mission tonight but nodded in agreement anyways.

As we made our way to the Great Hall, I could feel the tension rising in us. This was our first mission outside of Hogwarts. It was real this time. If we weren't careful everything we've worked for could fall to pieces.

The three of us sat at the end of the Gryffindor Table, closest to the door and far away from our usual spot right in the middle of the crowd. Impatiently tapping my foot under the table, the food finally appeared, we loaded a gracious amount onto our plates and began to eat; quickly and silently.

I could see Remus sitting next to Sirius in our usual spot with a confused look on his face. His eyes darted around as Fred tried making conversation with him until he spotted me at the end of the table. I pulled my finger to my lips in the universal 'shut the fuck up' sign and he frowned, but none the less, turned back towards his conversation with Sirius and Fred.

"We'll meet you back at… headquarters," James winked as both him and Lily stood up.

"Practise what I taught you," I forced a smile and they left.

Continuing to toy with my mushrooms, contemplating whether to eat them or not (damn mushrooms), I didn't realise somebody sneak up behind me, turning my head slightly to see who it was, I mentally groaned.

Fucking hell I do _not_ have time for this. Let alone the patience.

Arianna smiled at me; not her usual beaming grin, but the timid smile of somebody who didn't feel much of anything, "Hey Riley, I know we've been a bit slack with your tutor sessions since we got back from Christmas, and I was wondering if maybe after dinner we could catch up on your study,"

I stood up, forgetting mu mushroom dilemma entirely and tried to push past her, "I can't, sorry. Just really busy you know,"

"Seriously Riley, exams are looming," Arianna exclaimed, her face deadly serious.

"They're like two months away," I huffed, folding my arms across my chest, "Now I really have to go,"

I walked out of the Great Hall feeling uncomfortable and sick in the stomach. Arianna cannot just assume everything's good between us; everything aside, she still dumped my best friend.

I heard a second set of footsteps begin following me and I spun to face her with with a growl, "Merlin, will you just leave me alone?"

"Look, if this is what happened between Sirius and I…" she began but I interrupted.

"Let me stop you right there, okay, because Sirius and I have barely spoken in months. Albeit mainly because of me, but still some because of him and a little bit because of you. I have absolutely nothing to say to you and important things to do, so just _go away_," I hissed as she stared blankly at me. I turned to leave for the second time.

"You don't know why we broke up, do you?" she all but whispered.

I laughed bitterly, "Nope and I don't care either. That's all. See you around, Shacklebolt,"

"Do you not care for him at all? I never thought you'd really that much of a heartless bitch!_ Just fucking listen to me_!" she screamed and I froze, the echo ringing down the empty corridor.

I balled up my fists and stormed up to her until we were inches away, "Why? Why should I? I stood by and watched while you slowly, piece by piece, stole him from me – and you know why? Because you are ten times than anything I can be! And he loved you, and you loved him and I thought that'd maybe make it easier but it doesn't so do not tell me I'm a heartless because believe me when I say _I felt it breaking_!"

She stared at me wide-eyed, "Y-You love him?"

Rolling me eyes I snorted, "Wow you're ignorant, aren't you?"

Arianna seethed, "I am not ignorant! I am no silly little girl! Do not try to educate me on heartbreak, O'Conner; I know it as well as you. Every day I heard him tell me how much he loves me – everyday he lied to my face, whether he knew it or not he did! He doesn't love me, sometimes I wonder if he every fully did… could youn do that, Riley? Could you stand that?" her eyes shines with the tears she held back.

"What are you talking about? That's insane; he looks at you like you're the most wonderful thing on the planet!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up.

Arianna looked towards her shoes, "Well then, you've obviously never seen how he looks at you,"

Then she turned, walking away from me with tears in her eyes.

And I stood there, silent, because for the first time in my life… I simply had nothing to say.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	43. Chapter 43: Into Darkness

_**I'M BACK BITCHES!**_

**Man, everybody's probably forgotten about this story… fuck.**

**I'm pretty sure it's got to the point in this story where every chapter ends in some sort of a cliff-hanger.**

**I am a cruel person. And I'm not even sorry. Actually I am really sorry. This chapter was just SO DAMN HARD TO FUCKING WRITE FOR GODS SAKE JESUS HAVE MERCY.**

**(it's not my best writing, I'm warnin' you now… I need ta' get into the swing of shit again)**

**I've been listening to Radiohead a lot lately, and Florence + the Machine.**

**NOW ON WITH THE STORY! **_***jumps on black stallion and charges into battle because (as Chuck would say) **__**writing is hard**__*****_

* * *

"_We feel nothing so jump into the fog,_

_You know that we hit the ground upright,_

_We feel nothing so jump into the fog,_

_I just hope it's your bones that shatter not mine,"_

–_The Wombats 'Jump Into The Fog'_

* * *

_Chapter Forty-Three: _

"Where've you been?" Lily questioned me. I jumped a little, the question startled me – I was still reeling over my fight with Arianna, but mainly her words that relayed over and over in my head.

"_Well then, you've obviously never seen how he looks at you,"_

… There's also the fact that's no matter what the circumstances if you walk into a room and there's two people who are identical to yourself, it's freaky.

I began thinking over the plan, getting ready to shift myself into an old hag – greasy grey hair and winkles included. I must admit it's not my most flattering of bodies I've created but it did the job well.

The other two couldn't completely morph so they stuck with changing the little features until they could no longer be recognised as themselves, but if somebody knew who they really were, that person could probably tell.

Leaving Lily to conjure some less than flattering clothes, James and I kept watch at the mirror above the fireplace where we'd be making a depart.

"Kingsley and Arthur should be here any minute," I muttered to myself, anxiously fiddling with my.

James turned to me, "You okay? You've been acting weird since you got here… nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," I snapped, eyes cold, "I'm fine,"

"Hey, it's all cool. I didn't think so, I've never seen you nervous anyway… but still, you're wired and jumpy… this hasn't got something to do with Sirius does it?" he asked cautiously, realising her was walking on egg shells with this topic of conversation.

I let out a bitter snort, "Sirius. The fuckwit. Quite possibly. He seems to be the cause of majority of my deeply rooted issues lately."

"You run into him on the way here or something?" James questioned.

"Nope. Although I was ambushed by his lovely ex, who may or may not have hinted on the fact that he loves me even though the fucker refuses to acknowledge my existence. How in hell does that even _work_?" I vented, throwing my hands up in the air.

James shrugged, "Well, he did say you're name earlier and look at you. That's progress,"

I gave him a stale look, "You're funny. Real funny."

He shrugged, "Hey, I dunno what goes on in his head, but I know you mean a lot to him and you always have and you always will,"

"I guess, it's just confusing. Why can't we just be normal?" I sighed in frustration.

James smiled slightly, amused, "Because then you wouldn't be you and he wouldn't be him and the world would be a less interesting place,"

"You know, you've become a very good feelings counsellor since you became a girl," I joked and he went red.

"I… I try not to think about it… it's weird as fuck…" He looked quite conflicted.

I smirked with a slight snigger, "And here I thought you'd be perving,"

Blood rushed to him cheeks and he stuttered, "What? No, that's… no. You're like a sister to me and I don't wanna see your… no, okay – just no, that's sick, okay?"

"Your face… priceless…" I said in-between bouts laughter.

"It's lovely to see you find my discomfort so very hilarious," he spoke dryly, folding his arms across his chest. At least he still kept his own voice, which made it easier to remember he's not me.

Lily poked her head around the corner, "I'm done, guys… what are you cracking up about?" she asked me with a raised eyebrow and I composed myself.

"Oh, nothin', don't worry," I smirked.

She eyed me in suspicion but continued walking into the room, throwing us a set each of ragged clothing.

"Well, isn't this flattering…" I muttered as James and Lily started stripping, I frowned in annoyance, "Hey if it was your body you wouldn't be changing in front of each other,"

They shrugged, "Suck it up, they'll be here any minute,"

With a sigh I turned around, unbuttoning my flannelette shirt and pulling down my jeans to pull on some dirty trousers, plain black button down shirt and patched trench coat that were much to baggy for my current body. Morphing into the body of a raggedy old man with dead eyes and tufts of white grey hair sticking up at strange angles accompanied by uneven stubble and yellow teeth, I turned back to the others.

They took longer to morph; Lily stared with aging herself, making her bright red hair dead and oily, changing her bright emerald eyes for a dull grey. She hunched herself over wearing a black dress that resembled a body bag and a knitted shawl, "Okay, this is weird,"

James first changed himself into a man, as he could picture that better when trying to morph and then following in the stead of Lily and I, he aged himself with wrinkles and rough skin. He made his hair longer and a lighter shade of grey and darkened his brown eyes.

"We ready?" He asked, pulling the strap of his overalls over his shoulder.

Before either Lily or I could answer we heard a door open – Kingsley and Arthur walked into the Main Room dressed in similar disguises as us. We watched silently from behind the mirror above the doubled fireplace as they walked forward.

It was almost as if they could see us, although that was impossible.

Kingsley reached forward to pinch the powder from a small bowl on the mantle and stood in the fireplace, "Cracked Pot Tavern, Knockturn Alley," he spoke plainly and we watched as he vanished in the green flames.

I gave the other two a nod, committing the name to memory and we turned back to watching through the mirror.

As the flames died down Arthur stepped forward, taking a handful of Floo Powder in his grip and speaking clearly the words, "Deviant Drapes, Knockturn Alley," and he disappeared in the fire.

"What? That's not right..." James mustered, looking to us in confusion.

Lily looked not as nearly concerned, "It's probably just a precaution; they'll meet up most likely,"

"Okay then; you guys follow Arthur, I'll take Kingsley, then," I said seriously.

"We shouldn't split up… Knockturn Alley's dangerous…" Lily started.

I sighed, "You're the one who said they'll meet up, plus I can look after myself, Lily. If we don't find each other within half an hour, I'll return to the Cracked Pot Tavern and wait for you to return,"

"It'll be fine, Lil'," James nodded in agreement with me.

She bit her lip, "Fine… but don't take unnecessary risks,"

I saluted her with a wink as she stepped into fireplace, clutching Floo Powder in her hand, "Deviant Drapes, Knockturn Alley," and she was gone. James followed suit, clapping me on the back as a goodbye before bursting into wayward fire.

Watching the flames die down into the coals, I took a deep breath in and out, stepping forward towards my fate. A handful of powder in my palm, I threw it down, making sure not to slur my speech, "Cracked Pot Tavern, Knockturn Alley,"

I felt a strange tug at my navel and momentary weightlessness before gravity once again took hold and my boots crunched down in the ashes of another fireplace.

The heads of the dead eyed men and women sitting at the tables didn't turn to look at me as I made my way across the room and to the door, as quickly as possible, hoping that he hadn't walked away entirely before I arrived.

Passing an empty table, I clutched an old newspaper and unfolded it before me, pushing the door open with my back and taking a look in my peripheral vision up and down the street. Luckily enough I spied a figure and the flying of Kingsley's cloak around the corner and I speed-walked to catch up.

People moved with a certain sort of grudging fierceness along these black stone streets. People didn't look each other in the eye. They shuffled along, muttering with their heads down. I tried my best to mimic their stature and demeanour as I stalked Kingsley.

I knew that it was risky business, following an Auror, I knew that well. It seemed to be a habit of his to constantly check over his shoulder and let his eyes scan each and every person who walked past. I had to keep my distance, a great distance that being, to avoid attention and notice.

Slowly after many twists and turns, I was entirely unsure where I was, losing track of where I'd come from – but still I pursued Kingsley. The streets became thin and people scarcely seen aside from flutters behind closed curtains, and hunched men with hooded eyes and greasy hair crouched on stone steps, hands outstretched.

But then, he was gone.

Kingsley had disappeared.

In slight panic I forced a few deep breaths, forcing myself to continue, knowing he had to be somewhere.

_Unless he disapparated,_ I thought to myself grimly, _then you're entirely screwed._

Still, I pushed forward trying to remain totally calm although I was beginning to worry that I'd lost him, when suddenly somebody or something grabbed my hair, sharp nails pressing into my neck as they pressed a cloth to my face and I felt my mind slipping into darkness. The last thing I remembered was a bag being thrown around my head and a sudden disapparation.

* * *

A bucket of ice cold water was splashed over my head.

"Fucking hell!" I yelled at the sudden wake up, almost leaping out of my seat, or well, I would have if I hadn't been tied by enchanted rope.

As my blurry vision cleared I saw a woman and a man clad in black. The man was thin with milky white skin, and dark brown eyes that appeared to be lost in deep thought. His thin lips were curled into a snarl. The woman on the other hand was young and pale, with a mess of mattered black hair and coal black eyes, she grinned wickedly at me, twisting her wand between her fingers. She seemed familiar but I couldn't pinpoint from where.

I felt chills run through my body and I stiffened in fear, eyeing myself I realised that I'd accidentally morphed back to my usual state while sleeping. Soaking wet and wearing clothes double my size, I looked even scrawnier and weaker than usual. Unsure or yet whether that was a good or bad thing in this situation, my eyes dated up to my two captors.

"'Bout time you woke up, darling…" she cackled, leaning down to pinch my cheek and I growled, "What's an ugly thing like you doing all pollyjuiced up and wandering around Knocktern Alley? That scar… hmm, quite distasteful," she spoke, tracing a finger nail down the jagged line

The man stood rigid and sharp; eyeing his partner with displeasure, "Bella…" he warned.

"Yeah, yeah," Bella twirled her hair with her wand; taking a step back she shot me a look with her crazed dark eyes.

Attempting to remain calm, my heart betrayed me, racing like a hummingbird in my chest.

"What'd you do with my wand?" I asked.

Bella's head snapped around, "The _nerve_… all tied up and thinking you have the right to ask _questions_? I've _killed_ for less than that you filthy half-bre–"

"_Silence Bellatrix!_ Control yourself!" the man snapped and she whimpered ever so slightly, stepping back, lips curled into a snarl.

He knelt down before me, tongue flicking out over his lip like a nervous twitch every once in a while, "So, what I want to know, is why Dumbledore is sending little mutt _children_ after us, some new scheme? Requiting werewolves, hmm?"

In slight surprise I realised they thought me a werewolf, given my scar.

"I don't know w-what you're talking about," I tried to keep my face expressionless as possible, pressing myself back into the chair in an attempt to remain as far away from the man as possible.

"Where is your partner? The tall dark man in the robes?" he hissed with a tongue flick.

"Go fuck yourself," I deadpanned and received a sharp slap right across the face.

Bellatrix screeched, "_Do not disrespect us, you filthy half-breed!_" pushing the man to the side she raised her wand, looking manic as she screeched, "_Crucio!_"

I screamed, as I felt all my bones snap like feeble twigs and flesh bubble as white hot flames burned me from within. My skin forcibly peeled away, maggots worming their way through my muscle tissue, and nails ripped from their rightful place; I felt the pain all in a single moment that seemed a lifetime long. A pain like fire, and ice, and smelted metal being poured into my skull.

I didn't hear the man when he halted the cackling dark witch, the ringing in my ears too loud as I drifted into blissful unconsciousness.

* * *

When I woke I was alone.

My body ached and my skin was rubbed red raw from the ropes pinching at my wrists and ankles, and I wondered the time, unknowing in the dimly lit basement. But going by the stiffness in my limbs, growling hunger in my stomach and the dampness of my clothing, I guessed it'd been at least an hour or two.

Surveying the room as my eyes adjusted, it was quite empty aside from a table across the way where my wand, knife, lock-picks and other assorted items sat.

Raised voices grew closer and thinking quickly I resumed the position of being knocked out.

"… should we call him?" the woman hissed.

The man replied although I only caught snippets, "… no… the risk… only a girl… investigate…"

Suddenly the door burst open and I did my best not to flinch as they strut past me, turning on their heels. I felt another blast of cold fresh water on my face.

Okay, so maybe pretending to be asleep wasn't the best idea. I was drenched again.

I glared as Bellatrix who gleefully kicked the bucket to the corner, but then something silver and sharp manifested in her hand, sliding right out of her cloak sleave, and my gaze faltered. Seeing my fear she grinned wickedly.

The man, who was casually leaning against the back wall watching, abruptly stood, "If you'll excuse me,"

The woman's gaze darted and the hissed with a curl of her lips almost tauntingly, "Weak stomach?"

"Better things to do," he replied icily with another dart of his tongue over his lips and left without another word.

Flicking her eyes back as she leered over me, I felt myself shrink before the dark witch, "Now let's have a little chat shall we, mut?"

I tried not to show fear but it was hard given my shaking.

"What was an ugly little wolf like _you _doing following high class witches and wizards like _us_?"

"Hardly high class from what I see," I spat, and she stabbed the knife into the chair, right between my pointer and middle fingers.

"_Do not disrespect the noble and most ancient House of Black_!" she shrieked.

I tried to contain my sudden shell-shocking realisation. _House of Black_. As in, Sirius and Andromeda Black. _That_ House of Black. And I saw it, behind her matted hair and crazed eyes, the resemblance. Andi's dark eyes and Sirius's pale skin, warped and stretched into that of a monster.

"Oh how I would love to Curicio you, mutt, but I cannot have you passing out on my again. Ruins the fun, and the interrogation. Such a shame. It was rather enjoyable," she smiled down at me like a shark would its prey, and in her grip I spied a knife with the sharpest of edges.

With sudden movement and wild unkempt ferocity, she clasped her hand around my throat, holding back my struggles as she ripped away my sleeve. The witch laughed manically as she cut, little by little, edging letters into the sensitive pale skin of my forearm.

_HALFBREED._

"You ready to talk yet?" she laughed like a school girl, so in her element.

"Never, you bitch!" I choked out with a scream.

And again, slower, deeper.

_HALFBREED._

It was a different kind of torture from before; it wasn't blinding pain that made you beg for death… this was slow, and delicate, and intricate. I could feel my skin being sliced, each stinging maddening rip of flesh – but it wasn't just that. It was humiliation. It was _shame_.

_HALFBREED._

Even though I wasn't a werewolf – metamorphmagus are still classified as such. Not entirely human. Mutations prone to constant mutation. Unstable. Cursed.

"How about now, sweetie? Now are you ready?" she hovered the blade dripping with my scarlet blood above my skin, and skill I shook my head with clenched teeth, "Well aren't you a brave little mutt,"

_HALFBREED_.

There, for the fourth time. Deeper. Scrawled all up my arm. I moaned and writhed. Blood rushed in my ears. My vision blurred.

Then the screaming of a spell.

Then a shriek.

And suddenly the pain was gone.

And somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered where it had went.

And the darkness… it called me… and my eyelids drooped lower…

"Stay with me, Riley," I heard a voice – a familiar voice. But I just couldn't… remember… why couldn't I remember?

I felt the ropes be cut and my body slump forward, but somebody familiar caught me and I was lifted away.

_Who was it? Who was it? Who was it?_

"Keep your eyes open," the person said, lifting me over their shoulder. Low voice, male voice.

My eyes fluttered, and I witnessed everything in flashes. My blood pooled on the floor. The evil woman on the floor. The footsteps – then the man. Roared spells. Screaming. And the man fell. And the darkness sang to me. And a voice told me to resist. And I did because somehow I knew that voice.

And my blood left a trail, all the way up the stairs to the fireplace.

And suddenly everything was green.

And then nothing was real for a moment.

And my body was thrown onto a hard surface – a table.

A candle flickered.

Two more voices. A scream. A shout. A stinging sensation of liquid being poured into a wound.

"Oh God Riley, please hold on," the boy in the glasses spoke. He held the red-haired girl while the scared boy leaned over me.

And darkness.

It hit like a wave, a tide dragging me down.

Because I couldn't refuse it any longer.

* * *

**I'm pretty sure Riley/James is my ultimate brotp right now.**

**PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE IT EQUALS LOVE AND I CHERISH EACH ONE AND THEY INSPIRE ME TO WRITE MORE AND UPDATE MORE FREQUENTLY!**


	44. Chapter 44: Etchings on the Heart

**Thanks for all the reviews, guys!**

**I need to stop giving Riley horrible scars. It's getting ridiculous. And there are too many bed-side scenes in this story. I keep hurting everybody. **

**But anyway, here is the next update!**

* * *

"_Lady, running down to the riptide,_

_Taken away to the dark side,_

_I wanna be your left hand man._

_I love you when you're singing that song and,_

_I got a lump in my throat 'cause,_

_You're gonna sing the words wrong."_

–_Vance Joy 'Riptide'_

* * *

_Chapter Forty-Four: _

First I felt the ache and the tingling sting, all the way down my right arm, and then the emptiness in my stomach left from gnawing hunger. The throbbing in my head, like the beating of a drum. I was knackered even though I had only just awoken. It was as if I'd been trampled. Every molecule of me ached.

My eyes cracked open as my mind groggily began to register my surroundings, stinging at the sudden light. I was laying on the new addition of a wrought-iron bed into our usual secret meeting room.

"Afternoon," a voice spoke softly.

Blinking I saw Remus, reading a book at the table. He set it down on the blood-stained wood with a small smile, "I'm guessing you feel like crap?"

Walking to the tap, he poured me a glass of water and dragged a stool over to sit beside me. He handed me the glass.

I managed a smile, "How'd you guess?"

"Every time we woke you to change your bandages, you wouldn't stop complaining," he chuckled.

I cocked an eyebrow, "Really? I don't recall that,"

Moony shook his head, "I should expect so, you've been asleep for over twenty-four hours,"

I almost spat my drink, sitting up abruptly and feeling pain shoot up my arm, "_What_?!"

"Lay down, I'll explain it all," he spoke with a harshness in his tone of voice, "And then you'll explain how you ended up all shackled and bloody,"

Cringing at the memories that'd began trickling into my mind again, I sat back against the headboard, adjusting myself so it hurt the least amount possible.

"Sorry… it's just..." he bit his lip, a certain guilt sitting in his eyes.

"Just say it, spit it out," I sighed.

He frowned, gently dragging his fingertips over the bandages, "I did my best, but the deep ones… I couldn't help it… her knife must have been spelled… I really did try, Riley, I–"

"It's fine," I spoke briskly but understandingly, looking to my arm with a grimace, not wanting to see the words etched into my skin, "They… they thought I was a werewolf, because of my face. I guess I'm a 'halfbreed' anyway, being a metamorphmagus and all," I attempted to joke, but Remus growled, eyes hard and icy.

"We are _not_ halfbreeds – don't _ever_ say that!" he spoke with malice, not to me, but the perpetrator, even when he didn't know who they were.

I nodded, "Okay. Still, I want to know what happened – how am I here, last I remember was her carving…" I shivered.

"Who?"

I laughed bitterly, "Oh, get this. It did take me about an hour but I finally realised who she was. Her name is Bellatrix. Bellatrix _Black_, as in Andi's elder sister and Sirius's cousin…"

"Fuck, that is messed up on so many levels," another rougher voice spoke, and Remus and I turned to see James leaning in the doorway, "How're you fairing, Vixen?" he asked, a warm smile lighting up his face.

I smirked, "Better, thanks for saving my sorry ass,"

He shrugged, stepping inside, "Don't mention it,"

"Don't people wonder where I've been? I missed class today…" I trailed off in confusion.

"We covered you. We told the teachers you and Lily were feeling sick so you were in bed, really she was here with you. Only left an hour or so ago to catch up on homework," James explained and sighed in relief, knowing that everybody else was okay.

I continued, "And you found me how…?"

"Lil' and I followed Arthur Weasley and we got to the place where it was meant to be… but nobody was there. Somebody had been though, there was dark magic loitering the joint. Since Kingsley didn't show either for a long while, we had a look, but the place had been cleared out with incriminating evidence pretty well.

We heard them talking about it being a dead lead, and they were going to leave… but then an emergency owl came from Dumbledore and the Order, correcting the information, but telling them to go back since it was too dangerous and they could have been compromised. The poly juice potion had worn its way off by then as we headed back to the Cracked Pot Tavern, but you weren't there, so we waited and eventually realised that you weren't coming.

We guessed something bad had happened, but nothing could've prepared us for exactly… how bad it really was. I disapparated there, smack bang into the middle of a chess game between two dark wizards. Probably the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life to this day. It's safe to say they were shocked, which was good because otherwise we'd be dead, or tied up just next to you. We knocked them out. I tell you I was so scared I didn't know what spells were coming out of my mouth, then Lily heard screaming and… laughter, so we ran to the cellar and that bitch was… she was on you and there was blood absolutely everywhere! She didn't see me at first so I managed to hit her with a curse – I'm not sure which it was now – and then the man came running and Lily hit him with a brick right over the head and I grabbed you up and we Floo'd our way here.

Lily got Remus – who for some reason, now explained and understood, already knew almost everything… he healed up what he could and then you slept for a day," he finished the tale with a grimace, "I thought you were dead when I found you… the blood… you were covered in it… you still kinda are. Lily changed your shirt and got a lot cleaned up but… yeah – it was pretty bad,"

I was quiet for a while, "… You were the one who saved me… I… I thought…"

"You thought it was Sirius, didn't you," he stated bluntly.

Sighing, I shook my head, feeling like a complete idiot, "I didn't know what I was thinking… you two look alike… and I guess…"

Remus intervened, "Yeah, we get it. Don't worry… but, what else happened… it's not just the carving… what else did they _do_, Riley? You're injured everywhere,"

I snorted, "You don't have to tell me twice, I'm aching all over from that _damn _Cruciatus Curse! I swear if I find her I'll fucking _rip her apart_!"

The two boys looked at me, slightly shocked and definitely alarmed, "The _Torture Curse_?! She _used_ it!" James spoke sounding distressed.

I could see them processing it in their eyes, "How did it feel?" Remus asked kindly after a few moments of silence.

"Like the split moment before you die extended over an eternity," I spoke softly, looking down at my lap, "I… I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay," James nodded in understanding, only he didn't understand. Nobody could understand that unless they felt it…

With a sigh, I began sliding out of the bed.

"Whoa, no you don't!" James said and I glared.

"I can walk, you dunce. I'll be fine, but I ain't staying in the bed any longer. I'm at least going to shower, for God's sake!" I snapped and he backed off.

Remus seemed get what I meant, given he'd spent enough time in hospital wings as he helped steady me when I got to my feet, "It's okay, I'm fine, I can do it,"

"So stubborn," James murmured under his breath and I shot him a sour look.

"Lily brought clothes down… she left them in the bathroom…" Remus looked at the new door to the back of the room. Come to think of it, the room was different from before. Bigger.

"Bathroom?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"HQ has gone through some changes – many of them his idea. Room of Requirement seemed to agree," James cocked his head towards Remus, "We'll talk when you get out, and I'll go find Lily. We need to discuss all this,"

With slow, shaky movements I trudged across the room, refusing the boys help to walk until a wave of dizziness hit me and I felt myself clutching the table, doubled over. I could see the dark stained wood. Stained scarlet with my blood.

It seems the Room of requirement didn't wish for us to forget.

Eventually with a sigh James left the room, leaving Remus and I alone and at our wits end.

"I'm fine," I growled, feeling completely and utterly weak.

"You are far from fine," Remus held me steady, "C'mon, just let me help… like all those times you helped me," he smiled up at me – it was one of those hopeful smiles, one you couldn't refuse no matter how you tried. It was warm and thoughtful. I smiled back, a real smile – without any bitterness or contempt – for the first time since I woke.

"Okay," I whispered.

I sat on the bench in the bathroom, back facing the mirror, as Remus's delicate fingers unwrapped my bandages. I tried not to hiss at the pain, biting my tongue to keep myself at bay. Images of blood and screaming flashing behind my eyelids like a camera roll.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind.

Faintly tracing the foul word with my fingertips, I grimaced. The deeper wounds were bloody however clean Remus had tried to keep it, but thankfully the smaller cuts had healed into thin silver scars thanks to whatever potion they'd applied.

He helped me out of my outer layers of clothing until I was left with my plain dark shirt and shorts that I'd worn under the tattered bags of my disguise the night before. Remus was careful not to brush the fabrics over any severely hurt places, even sourcing a pair of scissors to cut away my sleeve.

Then, with a small smile and a nod, he left me to my own devices.

I turned the water on hot and waited for it to heat. I looked to the mirror for the first time, and wasn't entirely surprised. My skin was pasty and a sickly white, pulled tight over my bones with sunken dark brown eyes staring blankly back at me. I dragged a cracked fingernail down the scar that decorated my face and choked out a short, bitter laugh.

I didn't feel angry or sad – I guess I just felt empty. Like everything had been drained out of me. So weak as I gripped the sink to steady myself until my knuckles turned white. I wasn't exactly sure how long I stood there staring into my own dead eyes before I snapped out of the trance, but the air had grown misty from the running shower.

Awkwardly stripping out of my last layer of clothing with little ease and quite a few profanities whispered harshly under my breathe, I stepped under the scalding water, feeling my skin ignite and muscles contract, but then ease into it and relax. Still, I outwardly swore when the water ran down my body and worked its way into the gashes decorating my right arm.

Head hung, I watched grimly as blood and dirt pooled at my feet and slurped down the dark drain. I freed the mattered knots in my hair and washed away all the gunk that had become caked on my skin – the disgusting mixture of bloodily fluid and grit. Careful with the soap, not wishing anything else to enter the wounds – the water stang enough.

Still, I eventually stepped out of the shower, drying off with a warm towel and pulling on the warm flannelette pyjamas that'd been left by Lily. I didn't care if it was… actually I had no idea of the time aside from it was some point in the afternoon, so there was no reason for pyjamas not to be appropriate.

I trudged out of the bathroom feeling a great deal better than before and into the main room where James and Lily quietly bickered. She silenced herself as soon as she saw me.

"I guess they filled you in," I stated the fact that hung in the air.

The fiery-haired girl nodded, "Yes, I was just telling James here that we never should've attempted that–"

I stared quizzically at her asking, "What do you mean?"

She looked slightly shocked, "What do _you_ mean? You were almost killed, you're arm… Riley, how can you say that?"

I shrugged, "Shit happens. We managed to identify like four of Voldemort's followers and throw them off the trail of the Order. I'd say it was an accomplishment,"

"Riley…" Remus stared.

I rolled my eyes, "What? Because I got _hurt_? I knew what I was walking into – we _all_ did,"

Now all of them started at me and for a second I thought that I may have spontaneously grown another head (which to be quite frank, has happened before).

And then, she laughed, "You're impossible,"

And I found myself laughing too, and so did the boys. We laughed because we were so very in over our heads. We laughed because no matter what, we all knew we wouldn't stop.

Bloody Gryffindors.

* * *

Staring dully at my teacher, I could hear her words but somehow they refused to register in my mind.

_So tired…_

"Miss O'Conner are you quite all right?" Professor Ptolemy asked, referring to the star chart on the wall.

I snapped my head up, "Yuuup, I'm here,"

Used to kids falling asleep in her class, she sighed, "Try to remain awake, we have only another half an hour of class before you can all go to bed,"

There was a collective groan. Whose ever idea it was to have Astronomy lessons in the middle of the night was a complete and utter dullard.

Why I was tired, I didn't know. I'd slept for a day straight and had only been awake for around six hours since then, and here I was, almost dying on my desk. Stupid body with its stupid mortal healing time. Why can't I just heal in an hour like in video games or something?

Sighing, I began taking notes. I could feel James staring at me from behind and imagine the 'I told you so' I was going to receive afterwards.

I managed to get through to the end of the class with difficulty, trying not to wince at every slight touch of bump from the grumbling Slytherin I didn't know that well sitting beside me (I really need to start coming to class on time).

As I packed up my textbook and notes, I felt a tap on my shoulder to which I cringed. Turning around I saw Andromeda, smiling. She began speaking with a frown, but I didn't hear her. All I could hear was sick laugher and flashes – flashes of that _face_ behind my eyelids. That smile, so cruel and malicious.

So like my friends.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked, _that_ voice.

I started hyperventilating, clutching the edge of the table and squinting my eyes closed. It was as if my heart had stopped although it thumped loudly in my chest as fast as the beat of a humming birds wings, my entire body went numb and I felt myself stumbling. I couldn't breathe. I was dying.

"_Get away from me!_" I screamed so loud my throat was hoarse.

And I ran, I could barely see where I was going, but I ran. Down the corridors unknowing and uncaring of the eyes that stared and my friends who tried to chase after me.

"_Get off me! Stay away! I don't have the information you want!_" I yelled to the footsteps that followed mine and heard them cease eventually.

Stumbling, blind and unknowing to where I was – I fell.

And I didn't have the strength to get up again, so I lay there for a while in the dark, trying to find the high ceiling in the shadows. My breaths slowed and the ringing in my head dulled until all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears from the sudden rise and drop of adrenalin.

"Riley…"

That voice, I knew that voice. The same voice my mind tricked me into thinking of the other night. Only this time it was real.

"Leave me alone. I need to be alone, Sirius," I sighed, but it sounded more like a desperate plea.

He didn't listen, which didn't surprise me in the slightest, and I felt my… friend… lay down beside me.

There was silence for a few moments.

"You want to tell me why you just burst into a full blown panic attack at the sight of Andi?" he asked calmly.

I choked a bitter laugh, "Nope,"

More silence, but this time it wasn't awkward. It was comforting and full and warm despite temperature of the brisk air.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"I miss you too," I whispered.

He turned his head to look me in the eye, "I just want you back, Little Fox,"

"I know, I do to, everything is just so complicated right now… I need a friend," I sighed, turning my head to the side to face him

Sirius smiled, but the darkness concealing his grey eyes that in the light would've shown the slightest tinged of disappointment, "Then I'll be a friend – a _best_ friend,"

"Thank you,"

And we stayed that way, lying on the floor in the middle of a corridor. Talking about what we'd missed and watching as out breaths turned to mist.

And at some point, I felt our fingers entwine in one another's, and then for the first time in a very long while I felt completely and entirely calm.

So neither let go.

* * *

**Wow. Fluffy.**

**REVIEWS ARE LOVE!**


	45. Chapter 45: Selfish Desires

**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS!**

**Okay, so maybe in retrospect I was wrong about the last chapter being fluffy. I hope I described the panic attack correctly… if I didn't, please inform me and I'll change it, but I did a lot of research so I hope it's right. I just really don't think anybody could go through an ordeal like Riley did and not suffer from some repercussions… it actually really pisses me off when the protagonist of a story acts like they're totally invincible and things that are horrible just don't affect them for no reason at all.**

**Rant over, on with the story…**

* * *

_"A friend is one that knows you as your are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow,"_

_–__William Shakespeare_

* * *

_Chapter Forty-Five: _

"Ignore it," Sirius muttered under his breath, putting a protective arm around my shoulder and sent a glare to the snickering girls behind us.

"I know, I know… but everybody thinks I've finally cracked it, and with the game coming up, people can't think that. Also, since I lost us the last game, I was counting on trying to make it up again," I sighed, slumping in my desk with a groan.

After the panic attack, Professor Ptolemy eventually caught up with us and escorted me to the Infirmary (however unwilling I was), even when I assured her I was fine, the Professor wouldn't take one bit of it. Madame Le'Dionettre gave me quite a few strange looks as I refused to give the _why_ to the panic attack, but thankfully I managed to keep hidden my physical pain enough that she didn't examine my body further – that would be very difficult to explain.

As I continued to act unknowing to why I had the attack, Madame Le'Dionettre banned visitors. It was an extremely boring three days, let me tell you, but luckily the Marauders managed to visit and keep me company in the night, still, eventually they'd have to leave and Remus would stay after for a few minutes to check up on my healing progress.

Now catching up on work in the library, I could feel people's stares burning into my back like hot iron rods. Each roomer to why I had freaked out seemingly worse and more far-fetched than the last, so I stopped listening, trusting that it would all die down soon enough and my classmates would find somebody else to gossip about.

"Riley! Riley! Riley! I really need to talk to you it's about–" Remus came running through the library, earning a sharp look from the librarian, but on seeing Sirius he stopped dead in his tracks, "You know, the _thing_," he bit his lip.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "What _thing_?"

Purposefully ignoring the question, I begun gathering my books shakily, "I – uhhh – I have to go… I'm really sorry!"

And then I ran, following Remus right out the door, knowing that Sirius was sitting there completely and utterly confused.

"Way to almost completely blow this whole operation, Moony," I muttered harshly as we walked as fast as possible towards the Room of Requirement.

"We've been looking for you all day, how was I supposed to know you'd patched stuff up with Sirius? There was an emergency meeting last night, James and Lily managed to catch the end of it."

"End of it?" I questioned.

"They were practising and didn't notice…" he spoke aloofly as other students passed.

I nodded, "Ah yes, the new additions to HQ, you've yet to show me around,"

"Yeah, well that may be today – c'mon," he frowned worriedly and we ran the last few twisting corridors before slipping into the shifting room without any further thought.

Behind the mirror I found Lily and James, looking awfully tired given the lack of sleep last night and sitting with grimaces plastered across their faces.

"Something tells me this isn't good," I muttered, sitting down, "So let's hear it,"

James sighed, "Kingsley, Arthur and a few others including my parents went to check out the Death Eaters new place, but because of us, they'd already ditched. But it wasn't the scrubbed-clean and devoid of all evidence like the last place – everything was still there while Bella and her merry friends skipped out,"

"So when you say everything…"

Lily nodded, understanding where I was going, "You're blood included – which is extremely hard to miss since there was a giant puddle of it in the centre of the room, smeared on the chair you were tied to and trailed up the stairs from when Potter carried you,"

"So? As far as I know, the Ministry don't keep blood type records… that's more of a Muggle practise," I commented

"It is?" James and Remus stared strangely at me, but the question was ignored.

"Riley, you're a metamorphmagus so your blood is different… how many others like you do you know?" Lily asked, hoping that we weren't as rare as it seemed.

Sighing, I answered, "I've not met any of them, but roughly around seven that I've heard of in the UK… holy shit, Dumbledore will know, we are so screwed!" I ran a hand through my hair in panic.

"Kingsley has already sent it to St Mungo's to be examined," Remus sighed, "All we can do now is wait and see what happens, keep training and practising, I guess,"

The three of us nodded in agreement, and Lily began to pack up the notes that were spread across the table.

James sighed, standing and looking to me with a mischievous smile, "C'mon let's show you what's been changing around here,"

I followed, and Remus trailed along behind being led through the corridors that outlines the Order's meeting room and finally through a door that hadn't been there previously.

The new room lit with dull candles and also lined with mirrors, but far more plain then that of the Grey Room. Metal dummies had been pushed aside and there were targets spread across the back wall which already sported few black scorch marks. Manuals of different offensive and defensive magic were stacked on a book shelf as I grinned, "This is _absolutely amazing_!"

James looked smug, crossing his arms across his chest, "I know, but it was Remus's idea,"

"Since none of us are going to be giving up any soon, it would probably be best to prepare better before our next 'mission' so that somebody isn't killed," Remus spoke in all seriousness.

I pulled my wand from the messy bun in my hair with a challenging smile, "Well, what are we waiting for then?"

* * *

It was dark as I walked down the deserted corridors, late for dinner, when I heard a faint crying coming from around the corner.

Narrowing my eyes, I peeked around and saw Andromeda clutching her stomach and weeping as Ted and Alice comforted her from each side. I felt myself tense, muscles coiling and teeth clenching as tightness wound itself in my chest, but as she wept I forced myself into relaxing, making myself think of good, happy memories of my friend.

Unknowing, I took and step forward and heard a sharp and icy, "What do _you_ want?"

"To apologise," I spoke unthinkingly, stepping forward some more, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Andi stared at me strangely with a fierceness that made images of blood flash behind my eyelids – I shook them away, "What do you mean? I told you, and then you started screaming at me!" she glared.

I sighed and closed my eyes, fighting away bad memories, "I had a sudden… panic attack because of my apparent PTSD-like tendencies, as Madame Le'Dionettre said. I didn't even know what you were saying, I couldn't hear you… I couldn't breathe,"

Alice sent me a sympathetic look but didn't question it, and Andi spoke again a little less harshly, "I was asking for help,"

I looked to Ted for clarification, and he spoke up, "I don't know if you knew… but my dad is a metamorphmagus too… I didn't get the gene, but um…"

"Holy shit," my eyes widened in sudden shock, "You're _pregnant_!"

"Shhhh!" the three gave me a panicked look.

"We found some spells, did some tests… she's a metamorphmagus too… I needed your help and you flipped out," Andi hissed, tears beginning to fall again.

I knelt before her, "Help how? All I know is that she will look different every single time you pick her up out of the crib and she'll probably grow really erratically, Jesus why do people think I know about this stuff? First Sarah with Elric and now you guys… look, I'll do my best, okay?"

It was then that I noticed their packs.

"You're running away, aren't you?" the question was more of a statement than anything else.

Ted nodded and Andi begun crying harder, "M-My family they c-can't…"

I stiffened at the mention of the other Blacks, "Yeah, I know. It's okay… anything I can do? I have some money if you need it…"

"Thank you, but I think were set… we've been planning this for a while anyway, the baby just makes it slightly more important," Ted spoke seriously.

"I-I can't go home to my f-f-family," she choked and Ted stroked her hair.

Thinking of her sister, I understood why, "I know, it's okay. I'll cover for you guys so long as you send letters," Alice smiled to her best friend, "Have you figured out a way to Hogsmead yet?"

"No," Andi shook her head, drying her tear stained cheeks.

Then, suddenly, I had a thought and began riffling through my bag, tossing aside my Pocket Kaleidoscope as sorted through my different sketchbooks, hoping that's where I'd left it, eventually I cried "Yes!" a little too loud, making the confused trio jump.

I pulled out the Marauders Map, and tapped the blank parchment with my wand, "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_,"

"Riley… what is this," Ted looked anxious.

"It'll help, okay?" I spoke quickly, analysing the map before pulling out a piece of parchment and pen to scribble down the details, "Now, there's a passageway from beneath a one-eyed witch statue by the stairs to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, leading to the cellar of Honeydukes. Tapping the hump with a wand speak the spell 'Dissendium' to the witch and you'll be able to accesses the passage… good luck," I smiled, folding the crumpled piece of paper in their hands, "Burn that afterwards, we don't want everybody knowing,"

They nodded with warm, sad smiles, "Okay… thank you – both of you,"

Alice pulled Andi into a tight hug, "I'm gonna miss you,"

I saluted informally, "Write if you have any troubles with the squirt,"

And then they left, walking down the corridor swiftly and I turned to Alice, "I don't know about you, but I didn't woke up this morning thinking I'd be helping a couple elope,"

She laughed slightly, "C'mon we'd better get to the feast…"

I shook my head, "Not hungry, I think I'd better head back to the common room,"

With a short wave she was also gone and I sighed, it'd been a very long day. Plodding my way back to the Gryffindor Common room slowly, I took in a deep breath. It was probably the first time I'd had to myself in a very long time, everything had been so insane recently. God, the amount of homework I had to sort through! I didn't even want to think about it… with a sigh, I approached the Fat Lady and mumbled the password tiredly.

She raised an eyebrow as I entered, knowing I should be at the feast – or maybe she'd just heard all the rumours; 'Riley has finally gone bonkers!' or 'did you hear that O'Conner was caught high?' or probably the worst in my opinion, 'apparently she tried to kill Andi, she's turning into her Great-Grandmother!'.

I sighed, knowing deep down the reason I didn't want to go to the Great Hall was because as soon as I walked in, every head would turn and look at me, so I headed up to my dorm to get changed into my pyjamas and get Marvin from his cage.

The ferret sat curled up in my hoodie as I fed him pieces of kibble from my palm. Finally, heading downstairs, I curled up in the leather armchair by the fire, patting Marvin.

"Why can't I just have a normal life Marvin? Why all this madness? I think I'm going crazy Marvin… holy shit, I'm talking to a ferret. Ugh, Marvin why can't you talk back…" I groaned, sinking lower into the comfortable chair, "Why must everything suck,"

"Talking to yourself, O'Conner?" a families voice asked and Sirius sat down on the woollen rug before the warm fire, "I didn't see you at dinner,"

"I didn't go, too many people and too much whispering," I sighed and Marvin squeaked.

He chucked slightly, "Yeah, I guessed. Brought some chicken 'cause I thought you'd be hungry,"

Padfoot handed me the meat on a towel, "Thanks, I starved. Missed lunch because of… doesn't matter,"

The grey-eyed boy sighed heavily, "I wish you didn't keep secrets from me… is there even any point asking?"

I shook my head, although I wanted more than anything not too… I just couldn't have him in danger. Because I knew he'd want to join, and want to help – but I'm selfish, and after what happened to me… I wouldn't be able to bear it with him. I can see how James and Lily struggle with each other being in danger – especially James.

After a few moments of silence I whispered, "Sorry,"

He shrugged putting on a grin, "Hey, I can work back the trust I lost… you're my best friend,"

I felt a tight pain in my chest, as if my heart contracted suddenly at his words, because I did trust him. I wish I could explain it.

"You know, I-I should probably go… I'm really tire–" he caught my arm and looked up with raw leading eyes as I tried to walk past him and I couldn't help but recoil and hiss at the stinging pain. Only a few of the deeper cuts remained, but still, they hurt like bitches.

"I-I'm sorry," he gasped looking at me apologetically, "I didn't mean to grip that tight…"

"No, that's not… " I stopped myself – how could I explain? Quickly I tugged down my sleeve, but not before he noticed, "I am actually seriously tired…" I faked a yawn.

His voice was hard, "Riley, please…" I could see the glimmer of watery eyes.

_Those beautiful eyes…_

I turned back to look at him, and he gently pulled up my sleeve, eyes scanning the scared words with a slight gasp, "Holy shit… Riley… you didn't…" he gave me a questioning look.

Sharply I retracted my arm, "No, it wasn't me, stupid!"

"Riley…" he stared at me, eyes tearing up. The pain inside those grey orbs so real and raw and open.

I felt myself become weak, "There so much you don't know, so much I can't explain… please… don't make me,"

He only stared back at me, silently pleading.

I was just so tired of it all, so sick of lying and hiding everything behind his back… I couldn't put him in this danger – it was a war for fucks sake. In war people die. People get hurt. People go insane. Wars scar people on the inside and out, Hell, I've _already _been scared!

… But I couldn't hold it all any longer. I needed him so much… so, so much…

And so I decided not to be selfish.

* * *

**WOW PACKED CHAPTER; I HOPE IT DIDN'T SEEM RUSHED!**

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